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The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde
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This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
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almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
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re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
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with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net
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Title: The Picture of Dorian Gray
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Author: Oscar Wilde
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Release Date: June 9, 2008 [EBook #174]
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[This file last updated on July 2, 2011]
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[This file last updated on July 23, 2014]
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Language: English
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*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY ***
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Produced by Judith Boss. HTML version by Al Haines.
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The Picture of Dorian Gray
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by
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Oscar Wilde
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THE PREFACE
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The artist is the creator of beautiful things. To reveal art and
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conceal the artist is art's aim. The critic is he who can translate
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into another manner or a new material his impression of beautiful
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things.
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The highest as the lowest form of criticism is a mode of autobiography.
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Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without
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being charming. This is a fault.
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Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the
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cultivated. For these there is hope. They are the elect to whom
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beautiful things mean only beauty.
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There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well
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written, or badly written. That is all.
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The nineteenth century dislike of realism is the rage of Caliban seeing
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his own face in a glass.
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The nineteenth century dislike of romanticism is the rage of Caliban
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not seeing his own face in a glass. The moral life of man forms part
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of the subject-matter of the artist, but the morality of art consists
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in the perfect use of an imperfect medium. No artist desires to prove
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anything. Even things that are true can be proved. No artist has
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ethical sympathies. An ethical sympathy in an artist is an
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unpardonable mannerism of style. No artist is ever morbid. The artist
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can express everything. Thought and language are to the artist
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instruments of an art. Vice and virtue are to the artist materials for
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an art. From the point of view of form, the type of all the arts is
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the art of the musician. From the point of view of feeling, the
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actor's craft is the type. All art is at once surface and symbol.
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Those who go beneath the surface do so at their peril. Those who read
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the symbol do so at their peril. It is the spectator, and not life,
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that art really mirrors. Diversity of opinion about a work of art
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shows that the work is new, complex, and vital. When critics disagree,
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the artist is in accord with himself. We can forgive a man for making
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a useful thing as long as he does not admire it. The only excuse for
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making a useless thing is that one admires it intensely.
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All art is quite useless.
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OSCAR WILDE
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CHAPTER 1
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The studio was filled with the rich odour of roses, and when the light
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summer wind stirred amidst the trees of the garden, there came through
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the open door the heavy scent of the lilac, or the more delicate
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perfume of the pink-flowering thorn.
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From the corner of the divan of Persian saddle-bags on which he was
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lying, smoking, as was his custom, innumerable cigarettes, Lord Henry
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Wotton could just catch the gleam of the honey-sweet and honey-coloured
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blossoms of a laburnum, whose tremulous branches seemed hardly able to
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bear the burden of a beauty so flamelike as theirs; and now and then
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the fantastic shadows of birds in flight flitted across the long
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tussore-silk curtains that were stretched in front of the huge window,
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producing a kind of momentary Japanese effect, and making him think of
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those pallid, jade-faced painters of Tokyo who, through the medium of
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an art that is necessarily immobile, seek to convey the sense of
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swiftness and motion. The sullen murmur of the bees shouldering their
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way through the long unmown grass, or circling with monotonous
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insistence round the dusty gilt horns of the straggling woodbine,
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seemed to make the stillness more oppressive. The dim roar of London
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was like the bourdon note of a distant organ.
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In the centre of the room, clamped to an upright easel, stood the
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full-length portrait of a young man of extraordinary personal beauty,
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and in front of it, some little distance away, was sitting the artist
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himself, Basil Hallward, whose sudden disappearance some years ago
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caused, at the time, such public excitement and gave rise to so many
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strange conjectures.
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As the painter looked at the gracious and comely form he had so
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skilfully mirrored in his art, a smile of pleasure passed across his
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face, and seemed about to linger there. But he suddenly started up,
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and closing his eyes, placed his fingers upon the lids, as though he
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sought to imprison within his brain some curious dream from which he
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feared he might awake.
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"It is your best work, Basil, the best thing you have ever done," said
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Lord Henry languidly. "You must certainly send it next year to the
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Grosvenor. The Academy is too large and too vulgar. Whenever I have
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gone there, there have been either so many people that I have not been
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able to see the pictures, which was dreadful, or so many pictures that
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I have not been able to see the people, which was worse. The Grosvenor
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is really the only place."
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"I don't think I shall send it anywhere," he answered, tossing his head
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back in that odd way that used to make his friends laugh at him at
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Oxford. "No, I won't send it anywhere."
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Lord Henry elevated his eyebrows and looked at him in amazement through
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the thin blue wreaths of smoke that curled up in such fanciful whorls
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from his heavy, opium-tainted cigarette. "Not send it anywhere? My
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dear fellow, why? Have you any reason? What odd chaps you painters
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are! You do anything in the world to gain a reputation. As soon as
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you have one, you seem to want to throw it away. It is silly of you,
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for there is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about,
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and that is not being talked about. A portrait like this would set you
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far above all the young men in England, and make the old men quite
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jealous, if old men are ever capable of any emotion."
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"I know you will laugh at me," he replied, "but I really can't exhibit
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it. I have put too much of myself into it."
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Lord Henry stretched himself out on the divan and laughed.
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"Yes, I knew you would; but it is quite true, all the same."
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"Too much of yourself in it! Upon my word, Basil, I didn't know you
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were so vain; and I really can't see any resemblance between you, with
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your rugged strong face and your coal-black hair, and this young
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Adonis, who looks as if he was made out of ivory and rose-leaves. Why,
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my dear Basil, he is a Narcissus, and you--well, of course you have an
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intellectual expression and all that. But beauty, real beauty, ends
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where an intellectual expression begins. Intellect is in itself a mode
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of exaggeration, and destroys the harmony of any face. The moment one
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sits down to think, one becomes all nose, or all forehead, or something
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horrid. Look at the successful men in any of the learned professions.
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How perfectly hideous they are! Except, of course, in the Church. But
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then in the Church they don't think. A bishop keeps on saying at the
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age of eighty what he was told to say when he was a boy of eighteen,
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and as a natural consequence he always looks absolutely delightful.
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Your mysterious young friend, whose name you have never told me, but
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whose picture really fascinates me, never thinks. I feel quite sure of
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that. He is some brainless beautiful creature who should be always
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here in winter when we have no flowers to look at, and always here in
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summer when we want something to chill our intelligence. Don't flatter
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yourself, Basil: you are not in the least like him."
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"You don't understand me, Harry," answered the artist. "Of course I am
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not like him. I know that perfectly well. Indeed, I should be sorry
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to look like him. You shrug your shoulders? I am telling you the
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truth. There is a fatality about all physical and intellectual
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distinction, the sort of fatality that seems to dog through history the
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faltering steps of kings. It is better not to be different from one's
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fellows. The ugly and the stupid have the best of it in this world.
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They can sit at their ease and gape at the play. If they know nothing
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of victory, they are at least spared the knowledge of defeat. They
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live as we all should live--undisturbed, indifferent, and without
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disquiet. They neither bring ruin upon others, nor ever receive it
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from alien hands. Your rank and wealth, Harry; my brains, such as they
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are--my art, whatever it may be worth; Dorian Gray's good looks--we
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shall all suffer for what the gods have given us, suffer terribly."
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"Dorian Gray? Is that his name?" asked Lord Henry, walking across the
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studio towards Basil Hallward.
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"Yes, that is his name. I didn't intend to tell it to you."
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"But why not?"
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"Oh, I can't explain. When I like people immensely, I never tell their
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names to any one. It is like surrendering a part of them. I have
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grown to love secrecy. It seems to be the one thing that can make
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modern life mysterious or marvellous to us. The commonest thing is
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delightful if one only hides it. When I leave town now I never tell my
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people where I am going. If I did, I would lose all my pleasure. It
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is a silly habit, I dare say, but somehow it seems to bring a great
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deal of romance into one's life. I suppose you think me awfully
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foolish about it?"
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"Not at all," answered Lord Henry, "not at all, my dear Basil. You
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seem to forget that I am married, and the one charm of marriage is that
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it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. I
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never know where my wife is, and my wife never knows what I am doing.
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When we meet--we do meet occasionally, when we dine out together, or go
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down to the Duke's--we tell each other the most absurd stories with the
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most serious faces. My wife is very good at it--much better, in fact,
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than I am. She never gets confused over her dates, and I always do.
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But when she does find me out, she makes no row at all. I sometimes
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wish she would; but she merely laughs at me."
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"I hate the way you talk about your married life, Harry," said Basil
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Hallward, strolling towards the door that led into the garden. "I
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believe that you are really a very good husband, but that you are
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thoroughly ashamed of your own virtues. You are an extraordinary
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fellow. You never say a moral thing, and you never do a wrong thing.
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Your cynicism is simply a pose."
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"Being natural is simply a pose, and the most irritating pose I know,"
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cried Lord Henry, laughing; and the two young men went out into the
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garden together and ensconced themselves on a long bamboo seat that
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stood in the shade of a tall laurel bush. The sunlight slipped over
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the polished leaves. In the grass, white daisies were tremulous.
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After a pause, Lord Henry pulled out his watch. "I am afraid I must be
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going, Basil," he murmured, "and before I go, I insist on your
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answering a question I put to you some time ago."
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"What is that?" said the painter, keeping his eyes fixed on the ground.
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"You know quite well."
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"I do not, Harry."
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"Well, I will tell you what it is. I want you to explain to me why you
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won't exhibit Dorian Gray's picture. I want the real reason."
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"I told you the real reason."
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"No, you did not. You said it was because there was too much of
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yourself in it. Now, that is childish."
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"Harry," said Basil Hallward, looking him straight in the face, "every
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portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not
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of the sitter. The sitter is merely the accident, the occasion. It is
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not he who is revealed by the painter; it is rather the painter who, on
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the coloured canvas, reveals himself. The reason I will not exhibit
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this picture is that I am afraid that I have shown in it the secret of
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my own soul."
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Lord Henry laughed. "And what is that?" he asked.
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"I will tell you," said Hallward; but an expression of perplexity came
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over his face.
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"I am all expectation, Basil," continued his companion, glancing at him.
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"Oh, there is really very little to tell, Harry," answered the painter;
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"and I am afraid you will hardly understand it. Perhaps you will
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hardly believe it."
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Lord Henry smiled, and leaning down, plucked a pink-petalled daisy from
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the grass and examined it. "I am quite sure I shall understand it," he
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replied, gazing intently at the little golden, white-feathered disk,
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"and as for believing things, I can believe anything, provided that it
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is quite incredible."
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The wind shook some blossoms from the trees, and the heavy
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lilac-blooms, with their clustering stars, moved to and fro in the
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languid air. A grasshopper began to chirrup by the wall, and like a
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blue thread a long thin dragon-fly floated past on its brown gauze
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wings. Lord Henry felt as if he could hear Basil Hallward's heart
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beating, and wondered what was coming.
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"The story is simply this," said the painter after some time. "Two
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months ago I went to a crush at Lady Brandon's. You know we poor
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artists have to show ourselves in society from time to time, just to
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remind the public that we are not savages. With an evening coat and a
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white tie, as you told me once, anybody, even a stock-broker, can gain
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a reputation for being civilized. Well, after I had been in the room
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about ten minutes, talking to huge overdressed dowagers and tedious
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academicians, I suddenly became conscious that some one was looking at
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me. I turned half-way round and saw Dorian Gray for the first time.
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When our eyes met, I felt that I was growing pale. A curious sensation
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of terror came over me. I knew that I had come face to face with some
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one whose mere personality was so fascinating that, if I allowed it to
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do so, it would absorb my whole nature, my whole soul, my very art
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itself. I did not want any external influence in my life. You know
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yourself, Harry, how independent I am by nature. I have always been my
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own master; had at least always been so, till I met Dorian Gray.
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Then--but I don't know how to explain it to you. Something seemed to
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tell me that I was on the verge of a terrible crisis in my life. I had
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a strange feeling that fate had in store for me exquisite joys and
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exquisite sorrows. I grew afraid and turned to quit the room. It was
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not conscience that made me do so: it was a sort of cowardice. I take
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no credit to myself for trying to escape."
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"Conscience and cowardice are really the same things, Basil.
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Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all."
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"I don't believe that, Harry, and I don't believe you do either.
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However, whatever was my motive--and it may have been pride, for I used
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to be very proud--I certainly struggled to the door. There, of course,
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I stumbled against Lady Brandon. 'You are not going to run away so
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soon, Mr. Hallward?' she screamed out. You know her curiously shrill
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voice?"
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"Yes; she is a peacock in everything but beauty," said Lord Henry,
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pulling the daisy to bits with his long nervous fingers.
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"I could not get rid of her. She brought me up to royalties, and
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people with stars and garters, and elderly ladies with gigantic tiaras
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and parrot noses. She spoke of me as her dearest friend. I had only
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met her once before, but she took it into her head to lionize me. I
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believe some picture of mine had made a great success at the time, at
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least had been chattered about in the penny newspapers, which is the
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nineteenth-century standard of immortality. Suddenly I found myself
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face to face with the young man whose personality had so strangely
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stirred me. We were quite close, almost touching. Our eyes met again.
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It was reckless of me, but I asked Lady Brandon to introduce me to him.
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Perhaps it was not so reckless, after all. It was simply inevitable.
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We would have spoken to each other without any introduction. I am sure
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of that. Dorian told me so afterwards. He, too, felt that we were
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destined to know each other."
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"And how did Lady Brandon describe this wonderful young man?" asked his
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companion. "I know she goes in for giving a rapid _precis_ of all her
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guests. I remember her bringing me up to a truculent and red-faced old
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gentleman covered all over with orders and ribbons, and hissing into my
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ear, in a tragic whisper which must have been perfectly audible to
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everybody in the room, the most astounding details. I simply fled. I
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like to find out people for myself. But Lady Brandon treats her guests
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exactly as an auctioneer treats his goods. She either explains them
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entirely away, or tells one everything about them except what one wants
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to know."
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"Poor Lady Brandon! You are hard on her, Harry!" said Hallward
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listlessly.
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"My dear fellow, she tried to found a _salon_, and only succeeded in
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opening a restaurant. How could I admire her? But tell me, what did
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she say about Mr. Dorian Gray?"
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"Oh, something like, 'Charming boy--poor dear mother and I absolutely
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inseparable. Quite forget what he does--afraid he--doesn't do
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anything--oh, yes, plays the piano--or is it the violin, dear Mr.
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Gray?' Neither of us could help laughing, and we became friends at
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once."
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"Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far
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the best ending for one," said the young lord, plucking another daisy.
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Hallward shook his head. "You don't understand what friendship is,
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Harry," he murmured--"or what enmity is, for that matter. You like
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every one; that is to say, you are indifferent to every one."
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"How horribly unjust of you!" cried Lord Henry, tilting his hat back
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and looking up at the little clouds that, like ravelled skeins of
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glossy white silk, were drifting across the hollowed turquoise of the
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summer sky. "Yes; horribly unjust of you. I make a great difference
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between people. I choose my friends for their good looks, my
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acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good
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intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
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I have not got one who is a fool. They are all men of some
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intellectual power, and consequently they all appreciate me. Is that
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very vain of me? I think it is rather vain."
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"I should think it was, Harry. But according to your category I must
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be merely an acquaintance."
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"My dear old Basil, you are much more than an acquaintance."
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"And much less than a friend. A sort of brother, I suppose?"
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"Oh, brothers! I don't care for brothers. My elder brother won't die,
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and my younger brothers seem never to do anything else."
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"Harry!" exclaimed Hallward, frowning.
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"My dear fellow, I am not quite serious. But I can't help detesting my
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relations. I suppose it comes from the fact that none of us can stand
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other people having the same faults as ourselves. I quite sympathize
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with the rage of the English democracy against what they call the vices
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of the upper orders. The masses feel that drunkenness, stupidity, and
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immorality should be their own special property, and that if any one of
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us makes an ass of himself, he is poaching on their preserves. When
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poor Southwark got into the divorce court, their indignation was quite
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magnificent. And yet I don't suppose that ten per cent of the
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proletariat live correctly."
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"I don't agree with a single word that you have said, and, what is
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more, Harry, I feel sure you don't either."
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Lord Henry stroked his pointed brown beard and tapped the toe of his
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patent-leather boot with a tasselled ebony cane. "How English you are
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Basil! That is the second time you have made that observation. If one
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puts forward an idea to a true Englishman--always a rash thing to
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do--he never dreams of considering whether the idea is right or wrong.
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The only thing he considers of any importance is whether one believes
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it oneself. Now, the value of an idea has nothing whatsoever to do
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with the sincerity of the man who expresses it. Indeed, the
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probabilities are that the more insincere the man is, the more purely
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intellectual will the idea be, as in that case it will not be coloured
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by either his wants, his desires, or his prejudices. However, I don't
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propose to discuss politics, sociology, or metaphysics with you. I
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like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no
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principles better than anything else in the world. Tell me more about
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Mr. Dorian Gray. How often do you see him?"
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"Every day. I couldn't be happy if I didn't see him every day. He is
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absolutely necessary to me."
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"How extraordinary! I thought you would never care for anything but
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your art."
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"He is all my art to me now," said the painter gravely. "I sometimes
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think, Harry, that there are only two eras of any importance in the
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world's history. The first is the appearance of a new medium for art,
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and the second is the appearance of a new personality for art also.
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What the invention of oil-painting was to the Venetians, the face of
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Antinous was to late Greek sculpture, and the face of Dorian Gray will
|
|
some day be to me. It is not merely that I paint from him, draw from
|
|
him, sketch from him. Of course, I have done all that. But he is much
|
|
more to me than a model or a sitter. I won't tell you that I am
|
|
dissatisfied with what I have done of him, or that his beauty is such
|
|
that art cannot express it. There is nothing that art cannot express,
|
|
and I know that the work I have done, since I met Dorian Gray, is good
|
|
work, is the best work of my life. But in some curious way--I wonder
|
|
will you understand me?--his personality has suggested to me an
|
|
entirely new manner in art, an entirely new mode of style. I see
|
|
things differently, I think of them differently. I can now recreate
|
|
life in a way that was hidden from me before. 'A dream of form in days
|
|
of thought'--who is it who says that? I forget; but it is what Dorian
|
|
Gray has been to me. The merely visible presence of this lad--for he
|
|
seems to me little more than a lad, though he is really over
|
|
twenty--his merely visible presence--ah! I wonder can you realize all
|
|
that that means? Unconsciously he defines for me the lines of a fresh
|
|
school, a school that is to have in it all the passion of the romantic
|
|
spirit, all the perfection of the spirit that is Greek. The harmony of
|
|
soul and body--how much that is! We in our madness have separated the
|
|
two, and have invented a realism that is vulgar, an ideality that is
|
|
void. Harry! if you only knew what Dorian Gray is to me! You remember
|
|
that landscape of mine, for which Agnew offered me such a huge price
|
|
but which I would not part with? It is one of the best things I have
|
|
ever done. And why is it so? Because, while I was painting it, Dorian
|
|
Gray sat beside me. Some subtle influence passed from him to me, and
|
|
for the first time in my life I saw in the plain woodland the wonder I
|
|
had always looked for and always missed."
|
|
|
|
"Basil, this is extraordinary! I must see Dorian Gray."
|
|
|
|
Hallward got up from the seat and walked up and down the garden. After
|
|
some time he came back. "Harry," he said, "Dorian Gray is to me simply
|
|
a motive in art. You might see nothing in him. I see everything in
|
|
him. He is never more present in my work than when no image of him is
|
|
there. He is a suggestion, as I have said, of a new manner. I find
|
|
him in the curves of certain lines, in the loveliness and subtleties of
|
|
certain colours. That is all."
|
|
|
|
"Then why won't you exhibit his portrait?" asked Lord Henry.
|
|
|
|
"Because, without intending it, I have put into it some expression of
|
|
all this curious artistic idolatry, of which, of course, I have never
|
|
cared to speak to him. He knows nothing about it. He shall never know
|
|
anything about it. But the world might guess it, and I will not bare
|
|
my soul to their shallow prying eyes. My heart shall never be put
|
|
under their microscope. There is too much of myself in the thing,
|
|
Harry--too much of myself!"
|
|
|
|
"Poets are not so scrupulous as you are. They know how useful passion
|
|
is for publication. Nowadays a broken heart will run to many editions."
|
|
|
|
"I hate them for it," cried Hallward. "An artist should create
|
|
beautiful things, but should put nothing of his own life into them. We
|
|
live in an age when men treat art as if it were meant to be a form of
|
|
autobiography. We have lost the abstract sense of beauty. Some day I
|
|
will show the world what it is; and for that reason the world shall
|
|
never see my portrait of Dorian Gray."
|
|
|
|
"I think you are wrong, Basil, but I won't argue with you. It is only
|
|
the intellectually lost who ever argue. Tell me, is Dorian Gray very
|
|
fond of you?"
|
|
|
|
The painter considered for a few moments. "He likes me," he answered
|
|
after a pause; "I know he likes me. Of course I flatter him
|
|
dreadfully. I find a strange pleasure in saying things to him that I
|
|
know I shall be sorry for having said. As a rule, he is charming to
|
|
me, and we sit in the studio and talk of a thousand things. Now and
|
|
then, however, he is horribly thoughtless, and seems to take a real
|
|
delight in giving me pain. Then I feel, Harry, that I have given away
|
|
my whole soul to some one who treats it as if it were a flower to put
|
|
in his coat, a bit of decoration to charm his vanity, an ornament for a
|
|
summer's day."
|
|
|
|
"Days in summer, Basil, are apt to linger," murmured Lord Henry.
|
|
"Perhaps you will tire sooner than he will. It is a sad thing to think
|
|
of, but there is no doubt that genius lasts longer than beauty. That
|
|
accounts for the fact that we all take such pains to over-educate
|
|
ourselves. In the wild struggle for existence, we want to have
|
|
something that endures, and so we fill our minds with rubbish and
|
|
facts, in the silly hope of keeping our place. The thoroughly
|
|
well-informed man--that is the modern ideal. And the mind of the
|
|
thoroughly well-informed man is a dreadful thing. It is like a
|
|
_bric-a-brac_ shop, all monsters and dust, with everything priced above
|
|
its proper value. I think you will tire first, all the same. Some day
|
|
you will look at your friend, and he will seem to you to be a little
|
|
out of drawing, or you won't like his tone of colour, or something.
|
|
You will bitterly reproach him in your own heart, and seriously think
|
|
that he has behaved very badly to you. The next time he calls, you
|
|
will be perfectly cold and indifferent. It will be a great pity, for
|
|
it will alter you. What you have told me is quite a romance, a romance
|
|
of art one might call it, and the worst of having a romance of any kind
|
|
is that it leaves one so unromantic."
|
|
|
|
"Harry, don't talk like that. As long as I live, the personality of
|
|
Dorian Gray will dominate me. You can't feel what I feel. You change
|
|
too often."
|
|
|
|
"Ah, my dear Basil, that is exactly why I can feel it. Those who are
|
|
faithful know only the trivial side of love: it is the faithless who
|
|
know love's tragedies." And Lord Henry struck a light on a dainty
|
|
silver case and began to smoke a cigarette with a self-conscious and
|
|
satisfied air, as if he had summed up the world in a phrase. There was
|
|
a rustle of chirruping sparrows in the green lacquer leaves of the ivy,
|
|
and the blue cloud-shadows chased themselves across the grass like
|
|
swallows. How pleasant it was in the garden! And how delightful other
|
|
people's emotions were!--much more delightful than their ideas, it
|
|
seemed to him. One's own soul, and the passions of one's
|
|
friends--those were the fascinating things in life. He pictured to
|
|
himself with silent amusement the tedious luncheon that he had missed
|
|
by staying so long with Basil Hallward. Had he gone to his aunt's, he
|
|
would have been sure to have met Lord Goodbody there, and the whole
|
|
conversation would have been about the feeding of the poor and the
|
|
necessity for model lodging-houses. Each class would have preached the
|
|
importance of those virtues, for whose exercise there was no necessity
|
|
in their own lives. The rich would have spoken on the value of thrift,
|
|
and the idle grown eloquent over the dignity of labour. It was
|
|
charming to have escaped all that! As he thought of his aunt, an idea
|
|
seemed to strike him. He turned to Hallward and said, "My dear fellow,
|
|
I have just remembered."
|
|
|
|
"Remembered what, Harry?"
|
|
|
|
"Where I heard the name of Dorian Gray."
|
|
|
|
"Where was it?" asked Hallward, with a slight frown.
|
|
|
|
"Don't look so angry, Basil. It was at my aunt, Lady Agatha's. She
|
|
told me she had discovered a wonderful young man who was going to help
|
|
her in the East End, and that his name was Dorian Gray. I am bound to
|
|
state that she never told me he was good-looking. Women have no
|
|
appreciation of good looks; at least, good women have not. She said
|
|
that he was very earnest and had a beautiful nature. I at once
|
|
pictured to myself a creature with spectacles and lank hair, horribly
|
|
freckled, and tramping about on huge feet. I wish I had known it was
|
|
your friend."
|
|
|
|
"I am very glad you didn't, Harry."
|
|
|
|
"Why?"
|
|
|
|
"I don't want you to meet him."
|
|
|
|
"You don't want me to meet him?"
|
|
|
|
"No."
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Dorian Gray is in the studio, sir," said the butler, coming into
|
|
the garden.
|
|
|
|
"You must introduce me now," cried Lord Henry, laughing.
|
|
|
|
The painter turned to his servant, who stood blinking in the sunlight.
|
|
"Ask Mr. Gray to wait, Parker: I shall be in in a few moments." The
|
|
man bowed and went up the walk.
|
|
|
|
Then he looked at Lord Henry. "Dorian Gray is my dearest friend," he
|
|
said. "He has a simple and a beautiful nature. Your aunt was quite
|
|
right in what she said of him. Don't spoil him. Don't try to
|
|
influence him. Your influence would be bad. The world is wide, and
|
|
has many marvellous people in it. Don't take away from me the one
|
|
person who gives to my art whatever charm it possesses: my life as an
|
|
artist depends on him. Mind, Harry, I trust you." He spoke very
|
|
slowly, and the words seemed wrung out of him almost against his will.
|
|
|
|
"What nonsense you talk!" said Lord Henry, smiling, and taking Hallward
|
|
by the arm, he almost led him into the house.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 2
|
|
|
|
As they entered they saw Dorian Gray. He was seated at the piano, with
|
|
his back to them, turning over the pages of a volume of Schumann's
|
|
"Forest Scenes." "You must lend me these, Basil," he cried. "I want
|
|
to learn them. They are perfectly charming."
|
|
|
|
"That entirely depends on how you sit to-day, Dorian."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I am tired of sitting, and I don't want a life-sized portrait of
|
|
myself," answered the lad, swinging round on the music-stool in a
|
|
wilful, petulant manner. When he caught sight of Lord Henry, a faint
|
|
blush coloured his cheeks for a moment, and he started up. "I beg your
|
|
pardon, Basil, but I didn't know you had any one with you."
|
|
|
|
"This is Lord Henry Wotton, Dorian, an old Oxford friend of mine. I
|
|
have just been telling him what a capital sitter you were, and now you
|
|
have spoiled everything."
|
|
|
|
"You have not spoiled my pleasure in meeting you, Mr. Gray," said Lord
|
|
Henry, stepping forward and extending his hand. "My aunt has often
|
|
spoken to me about you. You are one of her favourites, and, I am
|
|
afraid, one of her victims also."
|
|
|
|
"I am in Lady Agatha's black books at present," answered Dorian with a
|
|
funny look of penitence. "I promised to go to a club in Whitechapel
|
|
with her last Tuesday, and I really forgot all about it. We were to
|
|
have played a duet together--three duets, I believe. I don't know what
|
|
she will say to me. I am far too frightened to call."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I will make your peace with my aunt. She is quite devoted to you.
|
|
And I don't think it really matters about your not being there. The
|
|
audience probably thought it was a duet. When Aunt Agatha sits down to
|
|
the piano, she makes quite enough noise for two people."
|
|
|
|
"That is very horrid to her, and not very nice to me," answered Dorian,
|
|
laughing.
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry looked at him. Yes, he was certainly wonderfully handsome,
|
|
with his finely curved scarlet lips, his frank blue eyes, his crisp
|
|
gold hair. There was something in his face that made one trust him at
|
|
once. All the candour of youth was there, as well as all youth's
|
|
passionate purity. One felt that he had kept himself unspotted from
|
|
the world. No wonder Basil Hallward worshipped him.
|
|
|
|
"You are too charming to go in for philanthropy, Mr. Gray--far too
|
|
charming." And Lord Henry flung himself down on the divan and opened
|
|
his cigarette-case.
|
|
|
|
The painter had been busy mixing his colours and getting his brushes
|
|
ready. He was looking worried, and when he heard Lord Henry's last
|
|
remark, he glanced at him, hesitated for a moment, and then said,
|
|
"Harry, I want to finish this picture to-day. Would you think it
|
|
awfully rude of me if I asked you to go away?"
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry smiled and looked at Dorian Gray. "Am I to go, Mr. Gray?"
|
|
he asked.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, please don't, Lord Henry. I see that Basil is in one of his sulky
|
|
moods, and I can't bear him when he sulks. Besides, I want you to tell
|
|
me why I should not go in for philanthropy."
|
|
|
|
"I don't know that I shall tell you that, Mr. Gray. It is so tedious a
|
|
subject that one would have to talk seriously about it. But I
|
|
certainly shall not run away, now that you have asked me to stop. You
|
|
don't really mind, Basil, do you? You have often told me that you
|
|
liked your sitters to have some one to chat to."
|
|
|
|
Hallward bit his lip. "If Dorian wishes it, of course you must stay.
|
|
Dorian's whims are laws to everybody, except himself."
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry took up his hat and gloves. "You are very pressing, Basil,
|
|
but I am afraid I must go. I have promised to meet a man at the
|
|
Orleans. Good-bye, Mr. Gray. Come and see me some afternoon in Curzon
|
|
Street. I am nearly always at home at five o'clock. Write to me when
|
|
you are coming. I should be sorry to miss you."
|
|
|
|
"Basil," cried Dorian Gray, "if Lord Henry Wotton goes, I shall go,
|
|
too. You never open your lips while you are painting, and it is
|
|
horribly dull standing on a platform and trying to look pleasant. Ask
|
|
him to stay. I insist upon it."
|
|
|
|
"Stay, Harry, to oblige Dorian, and to oblige me," said Hallward,
|
|
gazing intently at his picture. "It is quite true, I never talk when I
|
|
am working, and never listen either, and it must be dreadfully tedious
|
|
for my unfortunate sitters. I beg you to stay."
|
|
|
|
"But what about my man at the Orleans?"
|
|
|
|
The painter laughed. "I don't think there will be any difficulty about
|
|
that. Sit down again, Harry. And now, Dorian, get up on the platform,
|
|
and don't move about too much, or pay any attention to what Lord Henry
|
|
says. He has a very bad influence over all his friends, with the
|
|
single exception of myself."
|
|
|
|
Dorian Gray stepped up on the dais with the air of a young Greek
|
|
martyr, and made a little _moue_ of discontent to Lord Henry, to whom he
|
|
had rather taken a fancy. He was so unlike Basil. They made a
|
|
delightful contrast. And he had such a beautiful voice. After a few
|
|
moments he said to him, "Have you really a very bad influence, Lord
|
|
Henry? As bad as Basil says?"
|
|
|
|
"There is no such thing as a good influence, Mr. Gray. All influence
|
|
is immoral--immoral from the scientific point of view."
|
|
|
|
"Why?"
|
|
|
|
"Because to influence a person is to give him one's own soul. He does
|
|
not think his natural thoughts, or burn with his natural passions. His
|
|
virtues are not real to him. His sins, if there are such things as
|
|
sins, are borrowed. He becomes an echo of some one else's music, an
|
|
actor of a part that has not been written for him. The aim of life is
|
|
self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly--that is what each
|
|
of us is here for. People are afraid of themselves, nowadays. They
|
|
have forgotten the highest of all duties, the duty that one owes to
|
|
one's self. Of course, they are charitable. They feed the hungry and
|
|
clothe the beggar. But their own souls starve, and are naked. Courage
|
|
has gone out of our race. Perhaps we never really had it. The terror
|
|
of society, which is the basis of morals, the terror of God, which is
|
|
the secret of religion--these are the two things that govern us. And
|
|
yet--"
|
|
|
|
"Just turn your head a little more to the right, Dorian, like a good
|
|
boy," said the painter, deep in his work and conscious only that a look
|
|
had come into the lad's face that he had never seen there before.
|
|
|
|
"And yet," continued Lord Henry, in his low, musical voice, and with
|
|
that graceful wave of the hand that was always so characteristic of
|
|
him, and that he had even in his Eton days, "I believe that if one man
|
|
were to live out his life fully and completely, were to give form to
|
|
every feeling, expression to every thought, reality to every dream--I
|
|
believe that the world would gain such a fresh impulse of joy that we
|
|
would forget all the maladies of mediaevalism, and return to the
|
|
Hellenic ideal--to something finer, richer than the Hellenic ideal, it
|
|
may be. But the bravest man amongst us is afraid of himself. The
|
|
mutilation of the savage has its tragic survival in the self-denial
|
|
that mars our lives. We are punished for our refusals. Every impulse
|
|
that we strive to strangle broods in the mind and poisons us. The body
|
|
sins once, and has done with its sin, for action is a mode of
|
|
purification. Nothing remains then but the recollection of a pleasure,
|
|
or the luxury of a regret. The only way to get rid of a temptation is
|
|
to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for
|
|
the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its
|
|
monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful. It has been said that
|
|
the great events of the world take place in the brain. It is in the
|
|
brain, and the brain only, that the great sins of the world take place
|
|
also. You, Mr. Gray, you yourself, with your rose-red youth and your
|
|
rose-white boyhood, you have had passions that have made you afraid,
|
|
thoughts that have filled you with terror, day-dreams and sleeping
|
|
dreams whose mere memory might stain your cheek with shame--"
|
|
|
|
"Stop!" faltered Dorian Gray, "stop! you bewilder me. I don't know
|
|
what to say. There is some answer to you, but I cannot find it. Don't
|
|
speak. Let me think. Or, rather, let me try not to think."
|
|
|
|
For nearly ten minutes he stood there, motionless, with parted lips and
|
|
eyes strangely bright. He was dimly conscious that entirely fresh
|
|
influences were at work within him. Yet they seemed to him to have
|
|
come really from himself. The few words that Basil's friend had said
|
|
to him--words spoken by chance, no doubt, and with wilful paradox in
|
|
them--had touched some secret chord that had never been touched before,
|
|
but that he felt was now vibrating and throbbing to curious pulses.
|
|
|
|
Music had stirred him like that. Music had troubled him many times.
|
|
But music was not articulate. It was not a new world, but rather
|
|
another chaos, that it created in us. Words! Mere words! How
|
|
terrible they were! How clear, and vivid, and cruel! One could not
|
|
escape from them. And yet what a subtle magic there was in them! They
|
|
seemed to be able to give a plastic form to formless things, and to
|
|
have a music of their own as sweet as that of viol or of lute. Mere
|
|
words! Was there anything so real as words?
|
|
|
|
Yes; there had been things in his boyhood that he had not understood.
|
|
He understood them now. Life suddenly became fiery-coloured to him.
|
|
It seemed to him that he had been walking in fire. Why had he not
|
|
known it?
|
|
|
|
With his subtle smile, Lord Henry watched him. He knew the precise
|
|
psychological moment when to say nothing. He felt intensely
|
|
interested. He was amazed at the sudden impression that his words had
|
|
produced, and, remembering a book that he had read when he was sixteen,
|
|
a book which had revealed to him much that he had not known before, he
|
|
wondered whether Dorian Gray was passing through a similar experience.
|
|
He had merely shot an arrow into the air. Had it hit the mark? How
|
|
fascinating the lad was!
|
|
|
|
Hallward painted away with that marvellous bold touch of his, that had
|
|
the true refinement and perfect delicacy that in art, at any rate comes
|
|
only from strength. He was unconscious of the silence.
|
|
|
|
"Basil, I am tired of standing," cried Dorian Gray suddenly. "I must
|
|
go out and sit in the garden. The air is stifling here."
|
|
|
|
"My dear fellow, I am so sorry. When I am painting, I can't think of
|
|
anything else. But you never sat better. You were perfectly still.
|
|
And I have caught the effect I wanted--the half-parted lips and the
|
|
bright look in the eyes. I don't know what Harry has been saying to
|
|
you, but he has certainly made you have the most wonderful expression.
|
|
I suppose he has been paying you compliments. You mustn't believe a
|
|
word that he says."
|
|
|
|
"He has certainly not been paying me compliments. Perhaps that is the
|
|
reason that I don't believe anything he has told me."
|
|
|
|
"You know you believe it all," said Lord Henry, looking at him with his
|
|
dreamy languorous eyes. "I will go out to the garden with you. It is
|
|
horribly hot in the studio. Basil, let us have something iced to
|
|
drink, something with strawberries in it."
|
|
|
|
"Certainly, Harry. Just touch the bell, and when Parker comes I will
|
|
tell him what you want. I have got to work up this background, so I
|
|
will join you later on. Don't keep Dorian too long. I have never been
|
|
in better form for painting than I am to-day. This is going to be my
|
|
masterpiece. It is my masterpiece as it stands."
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry went out to the garden and found Dorian Gray burying his
|
|
face in the great cool lilac-blossoms, feverishly drinking in their
|
|
perfume as if it had been wine. He came close to him and put his hand
|
|
upon his shoulder. "You are quite right to do that," he murmured.
|
|
"Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the
|
|
senses but the soul."
|
|
|
|
The lad started and drew back. He was bareheaded, and the leaves had
|
|
tossed his rebellious curls and tangled all their gilded threads.
|
|
There was a look of fear in his eyes, such as people have when they are
|
|
suddenly awakened. His finely chiselled nostrils quivered, and some
|
|
hidden nerve shook the scarlet of his lips and left them trembling.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," continued Lord Henry, "that is one of the great secrets of
|
|
life--to cure the soul by means of the senses, and the senses by means
|
|
of the soul. You are a wonderful creation. You know more than you
|
|
think you know, just as you know less than you want to know."
|
|
|
|
Dorian Gray frowned and turned his head away. He could not help liking
|
|
the tall, graceful young man who was standing by him. His romantic,
|
|
olive-coloured face and worn expression interested him. There was
|
|
something in his low languid voice that was absolutely fascinating.
|
|
His cool, white, flowerlike hands, even, had a curious charm. They
|
|
moved, as he spoke, like music, and seemed to have a language of their
|
|
own. But he felt afraid of him, and ashamed of being afraid. Why had
|
|
it been left for a stranger to reveal him to himself? He had known
|
|
Basil Hallward for months, but the friendship between them had never
|
|
altered him. Suddenly there had come some one across his life who
|
|
seemed to have disclosed to him life's mystery. And, yet, what was
|
|
there to be afraid of? He was not a schoolboy or a girl. It was
|
|
absurd to be frightened.
|
|
|
|
"Let us go and sit in the shade," said Lord Henry. "Parker has brought
|
|
out the drinks, and if you stay any longer in this glare, you will be
|
|
quite spoiled, and Basil will never paint you again. You really must
|
|
not allow yourself to become sunburnt. It would be unbecoming."
|
|
|
|
"What can it matter?" cried Dorian Gray, laughing, as he sat down on
|
|
the seat at the end of the garden.
|
|
|
|
"It should matter everything to you, Mr. Gray."
|
|
|
|
"Why?"
|
|
|
|
"Because you have the most marvellous youth, and youth is the one thing
|
|
worth having."
|
|
|
|
"I don't feel that, Lord Henry."
|
|
|
|
"No, you don't feel it now. Some day, when you are old and wrinkled
|
|
and ugly, when thought has seared your forehead with its lines, and
|
|
passion branded your lips with its hideous fires, you will feel it, you
|
|
will feel it terribly. Now, wherever you go, you charm the world.
|
|
Will it always be so? ... You have a wonderfully beautiful face, Mr.
|
|
Gray. Don't frown. You have. And beauty is a form of genius--is
|
|
higher, indeed, than genius, as it needs no explanation. It is of the
|
|
great facts of the world, like sunlight, or spring-time, or the
|
|
reflection in dark waters of that silver shell we call the moon. It
|
|
cannot be questioned. It has its divine right of sovereignty. It
|
|
makes princes of those who have it. You smile? Ah! when you have lost
|
|
it you won't smile.... People say sometimes that beauty is only
|
|
superficial. That may be so, but at least it is not so superficial as
|
|
thought is. To me, beauty is the wonder of wonders. It is only
|
|
shallow people who do not judge by appearances. The true mystery of
|
|
the world is the visible, not the invisible.... Yes, Mr. Gray, the
|
|
gods have been good to you. But what the gods give they quickly take
|
|
away. You have only a few years in which to live really, perfectly,
|
|
and fully. When your youth goes, your beauty will go with it, and then
|
|
you will suddenly discover that there are no triumphs left for you, or
|
|
have to content yourself with those mean triumphs that the memory of
|
|
your past will make more bitter than defeats. Every month as it wanes
|
|
brings you nearer to something dreadful. Time is jealous of you, and
|
|
wars against your lilies and your roses. You will become sallow, and
|
|
hollow-cheeked, and dull-eyed. You will suffer horribly.... Ah!
|
|
realize your youth while you have it. Don't squander the gold of your
|
|
days, listening to the tedious, trying to improve the hopeless failure,
|
|
or giving away your life to the ignorant, the common, and the vulgar.
|
|
These are the sickly aims, the false ideals, of our age. Live! Live
|
|
the wonderful life that is in you! Let nothing be lost upon you. Be
|
|
always searching for new sensations. Be afraid of nothing.... A new
|
|
Hedonism--that is what our century wants. You might be its visible
|
|
symbol. With your personality there is nothing you could not do. The
|
|
world belongs to you for a season.... The moment I met you I saw that
|
|
you were quite unconscious of what you really are, of what you really
|
|
might be. There was so much in you that charmed me that I felt I must
|
|
tell you something about yourself. I thought how tragic it would be if
|
|
you were wasted. For there is such a little time that your youth will
|
|
last--such a little time. The common hill-flowers wither, but they
|
|
blossom again. The laburnum will be as yellow next June as it is now.
|
|
In a month there will be purple stars on the clematis, and year after
|
|
year the green night of its leaves will hold its purple stars. But we
|
|
never get back our youth. The pulse of joy that beats in us at twenty
|
|
becomes sluggish. Our limbs fail, our senses rot. We degenerate into
|
|
hideous puppets, haunted by the memory of the passions of which we were
|
|
too much afraid, and the exquisite temptations that we had not the
|
|
courage to yield to. Youth! Youth! There is absolutely nothing in
|
|
the world but youth!"
|
|
|
|
Dorian Gray listened, open-eyed and wondering. The spray of lilac fell
|
|
from his hand upon the gravel. A furry bee came and buzzed round it
|
|
for a moment. Then it began to scramble all over the oval stellated
|
|
globe of the tiny blossoms. He watched it with that strange interest
|
|
in trivial things that we try to develop when things of high import
|
|
make us afraid, or when we are stirred by some new emotion for which we
|
|
cannot find expression, or when some thought that terrifies us lays
|
|
sudden siege to the brain and calls on us to yield. After a time the
|
|
bee flew away. He saw it creeping into the stained trumpet of a Tyrian
|
|
convolvulus. The flower seemed to quiver, and then swayed gently to
|
|
and fro.
|
|
|
|
Suddenly the painter appeared at the door of the studio and made
|
|
staccato signs for them to come in. They turned to each other and
|
|
smiled.
|
|
|
|
"I am waiting," he cried. "Do come in. The light is quite perfect,
|
|
and you can bring your drinks."
|
|
|
|
They rose up and sauntered down the walk together. Two green-and-white
|
|
butterflies fluttered past them, and in the pear-tree at the corner of
|
|
the garden a thrush began to sing.
|
|
|
|
"You are glad you have met me, Mr. Gray," said Lord Henry, looking at
|
|
him.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I am glad now. I wonder shall I always be glad?"
|
|
|
|
"Always! That is a dreadful word. It makes me shudder when I hear it.
|
|
Women are so fond of using it. They spoil every romance by trying to
|
|
make it last for ever. It is a meaningless word, too. The only
|
|
difference between a caprice and a lifelong passion is that the caprice
|
|
lasts a little longer."
|
|
|
|
As they entered the studio, Dorian Gray put his hand upon Lord Henry's
|
|
arm. "In that case, let our friendship be a caprice," he murmured,
|
|
flushing at his own boldness, then stepped up on the platform and
|
|
resumed his pose.
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry flung himself into a large wicker arm-chair and watched him.
|
|
The sweep and dash of the brush on the canvas made the only sound that
|
|
broke the stillness, except when, now and then, Hallward stepped back
|
|
to look at his work from a distance. In the slanting beams that
|
|
streamed through the open doorway the dust danced and was golden. The
|
|
heavy scent of the roses seemed to brood over everything.
|
|
|
|
After about a quarter of an hour Hallward stopped painting, looked for
|
|
a long time at Dorian Gray, and then for a long time at the picture,
|
|
biting the end of one of his huge brushes and frowning. "It is quite
|
|
finished," he cried at last, and stooping down he wrote his name in
|
|
long vermilion letters on the left-hand corner of the canvas.
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry came over and examined the picture. It was certainly a
|
|
wonderful work of art, and a wonderful likeness as well.
|
|
|
|
"My dear fellow, I congratulate you most warmly," he said. "It is the
|
|
finest portrait of modern times. Mr. Gray, come over and look at
|
|
yourself."
|
|
|
|
The lad started, as if awakened from some dream.
|
|
|
|
"Is it really finished?" he murmured, stepping down from the platform.
|
|
|
|
"Quite finished," said the painter. "And you have sat splendidly
|
|
to-day. I am awfully obliged to you."
|
|
|
|
"That is entirely due to me," broke in Lord Henry. "Isn't it, Mr.
|
|
Gray?"
|
|
|
|
Dorian made no answer, but passed listlessly in front of his picture
|
|
and turned towards it. When he saw it he drew back, and his cheeks
|
|
flushed for a moment with pleasure. A look of joy came into his eyes,
|
|
as if he had recognized himself for the first time. He stood there
|
|
motionless and in wonder, dimly conscious that Hallward was speaking to
|
|
him, but not catching the meaning of his words. The sense of his own
|
|
beauty came on him like a revelation. He had never felt it before.
|
|
Basil Hallward's compliments had seemed to him to be merely the
|
|
charming exaggeration of friendship. He had listened to them, laughed
|
|
at them, forgotten them. They had not influenced his nature. Then had
|
|
come Lord Henry Wotton with his strange panegyric on youth, his
|
|
terrible warning of its brevity. That had stirred him at the time, and
|
|
now, as he stood gazing at the shadow of his own loveliness, the full
|
|
reality of the description flashed across him. Yes, there would be a
|
|
day when his face would be wrinkled and wizen, his eyes dim and
|
|
colourless, the grace of his figure broken and deformed. The scarlet
|
|
would pass away from his lips and the gold steal from his hair. The
|
|
life that was to make his soul would mar his body. He would become
|
|
dreadful, hideous, and uncouth.
|
|
|
|
As he thought of it, a sharp pang of pain struck through him like a
|
|
knife and made each delicate fibre of his nature quiver. His eyes
|
|
deepened into amethyst, and across them came a mist of tears. He felt
|
|
as if a hand of ice had been laid upon his heart.
|
|
|
|
"Don't you like it?" cried Hallward at last, stung a little by the
|
|
lad's silence, not understanding what it meant.
|
|
|
|
"Of course he likes it," said Lord Henry. "Who wouldn't like it? It
|
|
is one of the greatest things in modern art. I will give you anything
|
|
you like to ask for it. I must have it."
|
|
|
|
"It is not my property, Harry."
|
|
|
|
"Whose property is it?"
|
|
|
|
"Dorian's, of course," answered the painter.
|
|
|
|
"He is a very lucky fellow."
|
|
|
|
"How sad it is!" murmured Dorian Gray with his eyes still fixed upon
|
|
his own portrait. "How sad it is! I shall grow old, and horrible, and
|
|
dreadful. But this picture will remain always young. It will never be
|
|
older than this particular day of June.... If it were only the other
|
|
way! If it were I who was to be always young, and the picture that was
|
|
to grow old! For that--for that--I would give everything! Yes, there
|
|
is nothing in the whole world I would not give! I would give my soul
|
|
for that!"
|
|
|
|
"You would hardly care for such an arrangement, Basil," cried Lord
|
|
Henry, laughing. "It would be rather hard lines on your work."
|
|
|
|
"I should object very strongly, Harry," said Hallward.
|
|
|
|
Dorian Gray turned and looked at him. "I believe you would, Basil.
|
|
You like your art better than your friends. I am no more to you than a
|
|
green bronze figure. Hardly as much, I dare say."
|
|
|
|
The painter stared in amazement. It was so unlike Dorian to speak like
|
|
that. What had happened? He seemed quite angry. His face was flushed
|
|
and his cheeks burning.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," he continued, "I am less to you than your ivory Hermes or your
|
|
silver Faun. You will like them always. How long will you like me?
|
|
Till I have my first wrinkle, I suppose. I know, now, that when one
|
|
loses one's good looks, whatever they may be, one loses everything.
|
|
Your picture has taught me that. Lord Henry Wotton is perfectly right.
|
|
Youth is the only thing worth having. When I find that I am growing
|
|
old, I shall kill myself."
|
|
|
|
Hallward turned pale and caught his hand. "Dorian! Dorian!" he cried,
|
|
"don't talk like that. I have never had such a friend as you, and I
|
|
shall never have such another. You are not jealous of material things,
|
|
are you?--you who are finer than any of them!"
|
|
|
|
"I am jealous of everything whose beauty does not die. I am jealous of
|
|
the portrait you have painted of me. Why should it keep what I must
|
|
lose? Every moment that passes takes something from me and gives
|
|
something to it. Oh, if it were only the other way! If the picture
|
|
could change, and I could be always what I am now! Why did you paint
|
|
it? It will mock me some day--mock me horribly!" The hot tears welled
|
|
into his eyes; he tore his hand away and, flinging himself on the
|
|
divan, he buried his face in the cushions, as though he was praying.
|
|
|
|
"This is your doing, Harry," said the painter bitterly.
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry shrugged his shoulders. "It is the real Dorian Gray--that
|
|
is all."
|
|
|
|
"It is not."
|
|
|
|
"If it is not, what have I to do with it?"
|
|
|
|
"You should have gone away when I asked you," he muttered.
|
|
|
|
"I stayed when you asked me," was Lord Henry's answer.
|
|
|
|
"Harry, I can't quarrel with my two best friends at once, but between
|
|
you both you have made me hate the finest piece of work I have ever
|
|
done, and I will destroy it. What is it but canvas and colour? I will
|
|
not let it come across our three lives and mar them."
|
|
|
|
Dorian Gray lifted his golden head from the pillow, and with pallid
|
|
face and tear-stained eyes, looked at him as he walked over to the deal
|
|
painting-table that was set beneath the high curtained window. What
|
|
was he doing there? His fingers were straying about among the litter
|
|
of tin tubes and dry brushes, seeking for something. Yes, it was for
|
|
the long palette-knife, with its thin blade of lithe steel. He had
|
|
found it at last. He was going to rip up the canvas.
|
|
|
|
With a stifled sob the lad leaped from the couch, and, rushing over to
|
|
Hallward, tore the knife out of his hand, and flung it to the end of
|
|
the studio. "Don't, Basil, don't!" he cried. "It would be murder!"
|
|
|
|
"I am glad you appreciate my work at last, Dorian," said the painter
|
|
coldly when he had recovered from his surprise. "I never thought you
|
|
would."
|
|
|
|
"Appreciate it? I am in love with it, Basil. It is part of myself. I
|
|
feel that."
|
|
|
|
"Well, as soon as you are dry, you shall be varnished, and framed, and
|
|
sent home. Then you can do what you like with yourself." And he walked
|
|
across the room and rang the bell for tea. "You will have tea, of
|
|
course, Dorian? And so will you, Harry? Or do you object to such
|
|
simple pleasures?"
|
|
|
|
"I adore simple pleasures," said Lord Henry. "They are the last refuge
|
|
of the complex. But I don't like scenes, except on the stage. What
|
|
absurd fellows you are, both of you! I wonder who it was defined man
|
|
as a rational animal. It was the most premature definition ever given.
|
|
Man is many things, but he is not rational. I am glad he is not, after
|
|
all--though I wish you chaps would not squabble over the picture. You
|
|
had much better let me have it, Basil. This silly boy doesn't really
|
|
want it, and I really do."
|
|
|
|
"If you let any one have it but me, Basil, I shall never forgive you!"
|
|
cried Dorian Gray; "and I don't allow people to call me a silly boy."
|
|
|
|
"You know the picture is yours, Dorian. I gave it to you before it
|
|
existed."
|
|
|
|
"And you know you have been a little silly, Mr. Gray, and that you
|
|
don't really object to being reminded that you are extremely young."
|
|
|
|
"I should have objected very strongly this morning, Lord Henry."
|
|
|
|
"Ah! this morning! You have lived since then."
|
|
|
|
There came a knock at the door, and the butler entered with a laden
|
|
tea-tray and set it down upon a small Japanese table. There was a
|
|
rattle of cups and saucers and the hissing of a fluted Georgian urn.
|
|
Two globe-shaped china dishes were brought in by a page. Dorian Gray
|
|
went over and poured out the tea. The two men sauntered languidly to
|
|
the table and examined what was under the covers.
|
|
|
|
"Let us go to the theatre to-night," said Lord Henry. "There is sure
|
|
to be something on, somewhere. I have promised to dine at White's, but
|
|
it is only with an old friend, so I can send him a wire to say that I
|
|
am ill, or that I am prevented from coming in consequence of a
|
|
subsequent engagement. I think that would be a rather nice excuse: it
|
|
would have all the surprise of candour."
|
|
|
|
"It is such a bore putting on one's dress-clothes," muttered Hallward.
|
|
"And, when one has them on, they are so horrid."
|
|
|
|
"Yes," answered Lord Henry dreamily, "the costume of the nineteenth
|
|
century is detestable. It is so sombre, so depressing. Sin is the
|
|
only real colour-element left in modern life."
|
|
|
|
"You really must not say things like that before Dorian, Harry."
|
|
|
|
"Before which Dorian? The one who is pouring out tea for us, or the
|
|
one in the picture?"
|
|
|
|
"Before either."
|
|
|
|
"I should like to come to the theatre with you, Lord Henry," said the
|
|
lad.
|
|
|
|
"Then you shall come; and you will come, too, Basil, won't you?"
|
|
|
|
"I can't, really. I would sooner not. I have a lot of work to do."
|
|
|
|
"Well, then, you and I will go alone, Mr. Gray."
|
|
|
|
"I should like that awfully."
|
|
|
|
The painter bit his lip and walked over, cup in hand, to the picture.
|
|
"I shall stay with the real Dorian," he said, sadly.
|
|
|
|
"Is it the real Dorian?" cried the original of the portrait, strolling
|
|
across to him. "Am I really like that?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes; you are just like that."
|
|
|
|
"How wonderful, Basil!"
|
|
|
|
"At least you are like it in appearance. But it will never alter,"
|
|
sighed Hallward. "That is something."
|
|
|
|
"What a fuss people make about fidelity!" exclaimed Lord Henry. "Why,
|
|
even in love it is purely a question for physiology. It has nothing to
|
|
do with our own will. Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old
|
|
men want to be faithless, and cannot: that is all one can say."
|
|
|
|
"Don't go to the theatre to-night, Dorian," said Hallward. "Stop and
|
|
dine with me."
|
|
|
|
"I can't, Basil."
|
|
|
|
"Why?"
|
|
|
|
"Because I have promised Lord Henry Wotton to go with him."
|
|
|
|
"He won't like you the better for keeping your promises. He always
|
|
breaks his own. I beg you not to go."
|
|
|
|
Dorian Gray laughed and shook his head.
|
|
|
|
"I entreat you."
|
|
|
|
The lad hesitated, and looked over at Lord Henry, who was watching them
|
|
from the tea-table with an amused smile.
|
|
|
|
"I must go, Basil," he answered.
|
|
|
|
"Very well," said Hallward, and he went over and laid down his cup on
|
|
the tray. "It is rather late, and, as you have to dress, you had
|
|
better lose no time. Good-bye, Harry. Good-bye, Dorian. Come and see
|
|
me soon. Come to-morrow."
|
|
|
|
"Certainly."
|
|
|
|
"You won't forget?"
|
|
|
|
"No, of course not," cried Dorian.
|
|
|
|
"And ... Harry!"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, Basil?"
|
|
|
|
"Remember what I asked you, when we were in the garden this morning."
|
|
|
|
"I have forgotten it."
|
|
|
|
"I trust you."
|
|
|
|
"I wish I could trust myself," said Lord Henry, laughing. "Come, Mr.
|
|
Gray, my hansom is outside, and I can drop you at your own place.
|
|
Good-bye, Basil. It has been a most interesting afternoon."
|
|
|
|
As the door closed behind them, the painter flung himself down on a
|
|
sofa, and a look of pain came into his face.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 3
|
|
|
|
At half-past twelve next day Lord Henry Wotton strolled from Curzon
|
|
Street over to the Albany to call on his uncle, Lord Fermor, a genial
|
|
if somewhat rough-mannered old bachelor, whom the outside world called
|
|
selfish because it derived no particular benefit from him, but who was
|
|
considered generous by Society as he fed the people who amused him.
|
|
His father had been our ambassador at Madrid when Isabella was young
|
|
and Prim unthought of, but had retired from the diplomatic service in a
|
|
capricious moment of annoyance on not being offered the Embassy at
|
|
Paris, a post to which he considered that he was fully entitled by
|
|
reason of his birth, his indolence, the good English of his dispatches,
|
|
and his inordinate passion for pleasure. The son, who had been his
|
|
father's secretary, had resigned along with his chief, somewhat
|
|
foolishly as was thought at the time, and on succeeding some months
|
|
later to the title, had set himself to the serious study of the great
|
|
aristocratic art of doing absolutely nothing. He had two large town
|
|
houses, but preferred to live in chambers as it was less trouble, and
|
|
took most of his meals at his club. He paid some attention to the
|
|
management of his collieries in the Midland counties, excusing himself
|
|
for this taint of industry on the ground that the one advantage of
|
|
having coal was that it enabled a gentleman to afford the decency of
|
|
burning wood on his own hearth. In politics he was a Tory, except when
|
|
the Tories were in office, during which period he roundly abused them
|
|
for being a pack of Radicals. He was a hero to his valet, who bullied
|
|
him, and a terror to most of his relations, whom he bullied in turn.
|
|
Only England could have produced him, and he always said that the
|
|
country was going to the dogs. His principles were out of date, but
|
|
there was a good deal to be said for his prejudices.
|
|
|
|
When Lord Henry entered the room, he found his uncle sitting in a rough
|
|
shooting-coat, smoking a cheroot and grumbling over _The Times_. "Well,
|
|
Harry," said the old gentleman, "what brings you out so early? I
|
|
thought you dandies never got up till two, and were not visible till
|
|
five."
|
|
|
|
"Pure family affection, I assure you, Uncle George. I want to get
|
|
something out of you."
|
|
|
|
"Money, I suppose," said Lord Fermor, making a wry face. "Well, sit
|
|
down and tell me all about it. Young people, nowadays, imagine that
|
|
money is everything."
|
|
|
|
"Yes," murmured Lord Henry, settling his button-hole in his coat; "and
|
|
when they grow older they know it. But I don't want money. It is only
|
|
people who pay their bills who want that, Uncle George, and I never pay
|
|
mine. Credit is the capital of a younger son, and one lives charmingly
|
|
upon it. Besides, I always deal with Dartmoor's tradesmen, and
|
|
consequently they never bother me. What I want is information: not
|
|
useful information, of course; useless information."
|
|
|
|
"Well, I can tell you anything that is in an English Blue Book, Harry,
|
|
although those fellows nowadays write a lot of nonsense. When I was in
|
|
the Diplomatic, things were much better. But I hear they let them in
|
|
now by examination. What can you expect? Examinations, sir, are pure
|
|
humbug from beginning to end. If a man is a gentleman, he knows quite
|
|
enough, and if he is not a gentleman, whatever he knows is bad for him."
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Dorian Gray does not belong to Blue Books, Uncle George," said
|
|
Lord Henry languidly.
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Dorian Gray? Who is he?" asked Lord Fermor, knitting his bushy
|
|
white eyebrows.
|
|
|
|
"That is what I have come to learn, Uncle George. Or rather, I know
|
|
who he is. He is the last Lord Kelso's grandson. His mother was a
|
|
Devereux, Lady Margaret Devereux. I want you to tell me about his
|
|
mother. What was she like? Whom did she marry? You have known nearly
|
|
everybody in your time, so you might have known her. I am very much
|
|
interested in Mr. Gray at present. I have only just met him."
|
|
|
|
"Kelso's grandson!" echoed the old gentleman. "Kelso's grandson! ...
|
|
Of course.... I knew his mother intimately. I believe I was at her
|
|
christening. She was an extraordinarily beautiful girl, Margaret
|
|
Devereux, and made all the men frantic by running away with a penniless
|
|
young fellow--a mere nobody, sir, a subaltern in a foot regiment, or
|
|
something of that kind. Certainly. I remember the whole thing as if
|
|
it happened yesterday. The poor chap was killed in a duel at Spa a few
|
|
months after the marriage. There was an ugly story about it. They
|
|
said Kelso got some rascally adventurer, some Belgian brute, to insult
|
|
his son-in-law in public--paid him, sir, to do it, paid him--and that
|
|
the fellow spitted his man as if he had been a pigeon. The thing was
|
|
hushed up, but, egad, Kelso ate his chop alone at the club for some
|
|
time afterwards. He brought his daughter back with him, I was told,
|
|
and she never spoke to him again. Oh, yes; it was a bad business. The
|
|
girl died, too, died within a year. So she left a son, did she? I had
|
|
forgotten that. What sort of boy is he? If he is like his mother, he
|
|
must be a good-looking chap."
|
|
|
|
"He is very good-looking," assented Lord Henry.
|
|
|
|
"I hope he will fall into proper hands," continued the old man. "He
|
|
should have a pot of money waiting for him if Kelso did the right thing
|
|
by him. His mother had money, too. All the Selby property came to
|
|
her, through her grandfather. Her grandfather hated Kelso, thought him
|
|
a mean dog. He was, too. Came to Madrid once when I was there. Egad,
|
|
I was ashamed of him. The Queen used to ask me about the English noble
|
|
who was always quarrelling with the cabmen about their fares. They
|
|
made quite a story of it. I didn't dare show my face at Court for a
|
|
month. I hope he treated his grandson better than he did the jarvies."
|
|
|
|
"I don't know," answered Lord Henry. "I fancy that the boy will be
|
|
well off. He is not of age yet. He has Selby, I know. He told me so.
|
|
And ... his mother was very beautiful?"
|
|
|
|
"Margaret Devereux was one of the loveliest creatures I ever saw,
|
|
Harry. What on earth induced her to behave as she did, I never could
|
|
understand. She could have married anybody she chose. Carlington was
|
|
mad after her. She was romantic, though. All the women of that family
|
|
were. The men were a poor lot, but, egad! the women were wonderful.
|
|
Carlington went on his knees to her. Told me so himself. She laughed
|
|
at him, and there wasn't a girl in London at the time who wasn't after
|
|
him. And by the way, Harry, talking about silly marriages, what is
|
|
this humbug your father tells me about Dartmoor wanting to marry an
|
|
American? Ain't English girls good enough for him?"
|
|
|
|
"It is rather fashionable to marry Americans just now, Uncle George."
|
|
|
|
"I'll back English women against the world, Harry," said Lord Fermor,
|
|
striking the table with his fist.
|
|
|
|
"The betting is on the Americans."
|
|
|
|
"They don't last, I am told," muttered his uncle.
|
|
|
|
"A long engagement exhausts them, but they are capital at a
|
|
steeplechase. They take things flying. I don't think Dartmoor has a
|
|
chance."
|
|
|
|
"Who are her people?" grumbled the old gentleman. "Has she got any?"
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry shook his head. "American girls are as clever at concealing
|
|
their parents, as English women are at concealing their past," he said,
|
|
rising to go.
|
|
|
|
"They are pork-packers, I suppose?"
|
|
|
|
"I hope so, Uncle George, for Dartmoor's sake. I am told that
|
|
pork-packing is the most lucrative profession in America, after
|
|
politics."
|
|
|
|
"Is she pretty?"
|
|
|
|
"She behaves as if she was beautiful. Most American women do. It is
|
|
the secret of their charm."
|
|
|
|
"Why can't these American women stay in their own country? They are
|
|
always telling us that it is the paradise for women."
|
|
|
|
"It is. That is the reason why, like Eve, they are so excessively
|
|
anxious to get out of it," said Lord Henry. "Good-bye, Uncle George.
|
|
I shall be late for lunch, if I stop any longer. Thanks for giving me
|
|
the information I wanted. I always like to know everything about my
|
|
new friends, and nothing about my old ones."
|
|
|
|
"Where are you lunching, Harry?"
|
|
|
|
"At Aunt Agatha's. I have asked myself and Mr. Gray. He is her latest
|
|
_protege_."
|
|
|
|
"Humph! tell your Aunt Agatha, Harry, not to bother me any more with
|
|
her charity appeals. I am sick of them. Why, the good woman thinks
|
|
that I have nothing to do but to write cheques for her silly fads."
|
|
|
|
"All right, Uncle George, I'll tell her, but it won't have any effect.
|
|
Philanthropic people lose all sense of humanity. It is their
|
|
distinguishing characteristic."
|
|
|
|
The old gentleman growled approvingly and rang the bell for his
|
|
servant. Lord Henry passed up the low arcade into Burlington Street
|
|
and turned his steps in the direction of Berkeley Square.
|
|
|
|
So that was the story of Dorian Gray's parentage. Crudely as it had
|
|
been told to him, it had yet stirred him by its suggestion of a
|
|
strange, almost modern romance. A beautiful woman risking everything
|
|
for a mad passion. A few wild weeks of happiness cut short by a
|
|
hideous, treacherous crime. Months of voiceless agony, and then a
|
|
child born in pain. The mother snatched away by death, the boy left to
|
|
solitude and the tyranny of an old and loveless man. Yes; it was an
|
|
interesting background. It posed the lad, made him more perfect, as it
|
|
were. Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something
|
|
tragic. Worlds had to be in travail, that the meanest flower might
|
|
blow.... And how charming he had been at dinner the night before, as
|
|
with startled eyes and lips parted in frightened pleasure he had sat
|
|
opposite to him at the club, the red candleshades staining to a richer
|
|
rose the wakening wonder of his face. Talking to him was like playing
|
|
upon an exquisite violin. He answered to every touch and thrill of the
|
|
bow.... There was something terribly enthralling in the exercise of
|
|
influence. No other activity was like it. To project one's soul into
|
|
some gracious form, and let it tarry there for a moment; to hear one's
|
|
own intellectual views echoed back to one with all the added music of
|
|
passion and youth; to convey one's temperament into another as though
|
|
it were a subtle fluid or a strange perfume: there was a real joy in
|
|
that--perhaps the most satisfying joy left to us in an age so limited
|
|
and vulgar as our own, an age grossly carnal in its pleasures, and
|
|
grossly common in its aims.... He was a marvellous type, too, this lad,
|
|
whom by so curious a chance he had met in Basil's studio, or could be
|
|
fashioned into a marvellous type, at any rate. Grace was his, and the
|
|
white purity of boyhood, and beauty such as old Greek marbles kept for
|
|
us. There was nothing that one could not do with him. He could be
|
|
made a Titan or a toy. What a pity it was that such beauty was
|
|
destined to fade! ... And Basil? From a psychological point of view,
|
|
how interesting he was! The new manner in art, the fresh mode of
|
|
looking at life, suggested so strangely by the merely visible presence
|
|
of one who was unconscious of it all; the silent spirit that dwelt in
|
|
dim woodland, and walked unseen in open field, suddenly showing
|
|
herself, Dryadlike and not afraid, because in his soul who sought for
|
|
her there had been wakened that wonderful vision to which alone are
|
|
wonderful things revealed; the mere shapes and patterns of things
|
|
becoming, as it were, refined, and gaining a kind of symbolical value,
|
|
as though they were themselves patterns of some other and more perfect
|
|
form whose shadow they made real: how strange it all was! He
|
|
remembered something like it in history. Was it not Plato, that artist
|
|
in thought, who had first analyzed it? Was it not Buonarotti who had
|
|
carved it in the coloured marbles of a sonnet-sequence? But in our own
|
|
century it was strange.... Yes; he would try to be to Dorian Gray
|
|
what, without knowing it, the lad was to the painter who had fashioned
|
|
the wonderful portrait. He would seek to dominate him--had already,
|
|
indeed, half done so. He would make that wonderful spirit his own.
|
|
There was something fascinating in this son of love and death.
|
|
|
|
Suddenly he stopped and glanced up at the houses. He found that he had
|
|
passed his aunt's some distance, and, smiling to himself, turned back.
|
|
When he entered the somewhat sombre hall, the butler told him that they
|
|
had gone in to lunch. He gave one of the footmen his hat and stick and
|
|
passed into the dining-room.
|
|
|
|
"Late as usual, Harry," cried his aunt, shaking her head at him.
|
|
|
|
He invented a facile excuse, and having taken the vacant seat next to
|
|
her, looked round to see who was there. Dorian bowed to him shyly from
|
|
the end of the table, a flush of pleasure stealing into his cheek.
|
|
Opposite was the Duchess of Harley, a lady of admirable good-nature and
|
|
good temper, much liked by every one who knew her, and of those ample
|
|
architectural proportions that in women who are not duchesses are
|
|
described by contemporary historians as stoutness. Next to her sat, on
|
|
her right, Sir Thomas Burdon, a Radical member of Parliament, who
|
|
followed his leader in public life and in private life followed the
|
|
best cooks, dining with the Tories and thinking with the Liberals, in
|
|
accordance with a wise and well-known rule. The post on her left was
|
|
occupied by Mr. Erskine of Treadley, an old gentleman of considerable
|
|
charm and culture, who had fallen, however, into bad habits of silence,
|
|
having, as he explained once to Lady Agatha, said everything that he
|
|
had to say before he was thirty. His own neighbour was Mrs. Vandeleur,
|
|
one of his aunt's oldest friends, a perfect saint amongst women, but so
|
|
dreadfully dowdy that she reminded one of a badly bound hymn-book.
|
|
Fortunately for him she had on the other side Lord Faudel, a most
|
|
intelligent middle-aged mediocrity, as bald as a ministerial statement
|
|
in the House of Commons, with whom she was conversing in that intensely
|
|
earnest manner which is the one unpardonable error, as he remarked once
|
|
himself, that all really good people fall into, and from which none of
|
|
them ever quite escape.
|
|
|
|
"We are talking about poor Dartmoor, Lord Henry," cried the duchess,
|
|
nodding pleasantly to him across the table. "Do you think he will
|
|
really marry this fascinating young person?"
|
|
|
|
"I believe she has made up her mind to propose to him, Duchess."
|
|
|
|
"How dreadful!" exclaimed Lady Agatha. "Really, some one should
|
|
interfere."
|
|
|
|
"I am told, on excellent authority, that her father keeps an American
|
|
dry-goods store," said Sir Thomas Burdon, looking supercilious.
|
|
|
|
"My uncle has already suggested pork-packing, Sir Thomas."
|
|
|
|
"Dry-goods! What are American dry-goods?" asked the duchess, raising
|
|
her large hands in wonder and accentuating the verb.
|
|
|
|
"American novels," answered Lord Henry, helping himself to some quail.
|
|
|
|
The duchess looked puzzled.
|
|
|
|
"Don't mind him, my dear," whispered Lady Agatha. "He never means
|
|
anything that he says."
|
|
|
|
"When America was discovered," said the Radical member--and he began to
|
|
give some wearisome facts. Like all people who try to exhaust a
|
|
subject, he exhausted his listeners. The duchess sighed and exercised
|
|
her privilege of interruption. "I wish to goodness it never had been
|
|
discovered at all!" she exclaimed. "Really, our girls have no chance
|
|
nowadays. It is most unfair."
|
|
|
|
"Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered," said Mr.
|
|
Erskine; "I myself would say that it had merely been detected."
|
|
|
|
"Oh! but I have seen specimens of the inhabitants," answered the
|
|
duchess vaguely. "I must confess that most of them are extremely
|
|
pretty. And they dress well, too. They get all their dresses in
|
|
Paris. I wish I could afford to do the same."
|
|
|
|
"They say that when good Americans die they go to Paris," chuckled Sir
|
|
Thomas, who had a large wardrobe of Humour's cast-off clothes.
|
|
|
|
"Really! And where do bad Americans go to when they die?" inquired the
|
|
duchess.
|
|
|
|
"They go to America," murmured Lord Henry.
|
|
|
|
Sir Thomas frowned. "I am afraid that your nephew is prejudiced
|
|
against that great country," he said to Lady Agatha. "I have travelled
|
|
all over it in cars provided by the directors, who, in such matters,
|
|
are extremely civil. I assure you that it is an education to visit it."
|
|
|
|
"But must we really see Chicago in order to be educated?" asked Mr.
|
|
Erskine plaintively. "I don't feel up to the journey."
|
|
|
|
Sir Thomas waved his hand. "Mr. Erskine of Treadley has the world on
|
|
his shelves. We practical men like to see things, not to read about
|
|
them. The Americans are an extremely interesting people. They are
|
|
absolutely reasonable. I think that is their distinguishing
|
|
characteristic. Yes, Mr. Erskine, an absolutely reasonable people. I
|
|
assure you there is no nonsense about the Americans."
|
|
|
|
"How dreadful!" cried Lord Henry. "I can stand brute force, but brute
|
|
reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use.
|
|
It is hitting below the intellect."
|
|
|
|
"I do not understand you," said Sir Thomas, growing rather red.
|
|
|
|
"I do, Lord Henry," murmured Mr. Erskine, with a smile.
|
|
|
|
"Paradoxes are all very well in their way...." rejoined the baronet.
|
|
|
|
"Was that a paradox?" asked Mr. Erskine. "I did not think so. Perhaps
|
|
it was. Well, the way of paradoxes is the way of truth. To test
|
|
reality we must see it on the tight rope. When the verities become
|
|
acrobats, we can judge them."
|
|
|
|
"Dear me!" said Lady Agatha, "how you men argue! I am sure I never can
|
|
make out what you are talking about. Oh! Harry, I am quite vexed with
|
|
you. Why do you try to persuade our nice Mr. Dorian Gray to give up
|
|
the East End? I assure you he would be quite invaluable. They would
|
|
love his playing."
|
|
|
|
"I want him to play to me," cried Lord Henry, smiling, and he looked
|
|
down the table and caught a bright answering glance.
|
|
|
|
"But they are so unhappy in Whitechapel," continued Lady Agatha.
|
|
|
|
"I can sympathize with everything except suffering," said Lord Henry,
|
|
shrugging his shoulders. "I cannot sympathize with that. It is too
|
|
ugly, too horrible, too distressing. There is something terribly
|
|
morbid in the modern sympathy with pain. One should sympathize with
|
|
the colour, the beauty, the joy of life. The less said about life's
|
|
sores, the better."
|
|
|
|
"Still, the East End is a very important problem," remarked Sir Thomas
|
|
with a grave shake of the head.
|
|
|
|
"Quite so," answered the young lord. "It is the problem of slavery,
|
|
and we try to solve it by amusing the slaves."
|
|
|
|
The politician looked at him keenly. "What change do you propose,
|
|
then?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry laughed. "I don't desire to change anything in England
|
|
except the weather," he answered. "I am quite content with philosophic
|
|
contemplation. But, as the nineteenth century has gone bankrupt
|
|
through an over-expenditure of sympathy, I would suggest that we should
|
|
appeal to science to put us straight. The advantage of the emotions is
|
|
that they lead us astray, and the advantage of science is that it is
|
|
not emotional."
|
|
|
|
"But we have such grave responsibilities," ventured Mrs. Vandeleur
|
|
timidly.
|
|
|
|
"Terribly grave," echoed Lady Agatha.
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry looked over at Mr. Erskine. "Humanity takes itself too
|
|
seriously. It is the world's original sin. If the caveman had known
|
|
how to laugh, history would have been different."
|
|
|
|
"You are really very comforting," warbled the duchess. "I have always
|
|
felt rather guilty when I came to see your dear aunt, for I take no
|
|
interest at all in the East End. For the future I shall be able to
|
|
look her in the face without a blush."
|
|
|
|
"A blush is very becoming, Duchess," remarked Lord Henry.
|
|
|
|
"Only when one is young," she answered. "When an old woman like myself
|
|
blushes, it is a very bad sign. Ah! Lord Henry, I wish you would tell
|
|
me how to become young again."
|
|
|
|
He thought for a moment. "Can you remember any great error that you
|
|
committed in your early days, Duchess?" he asked, looking at her across
|
|
the table.
|
|
|
|
"A great many, I fear," she cried.
|
|
|
|
"Then commit them over again," he said gravely. "To get back one's
|
|
youth, one has merely to repeat one's follies."
|
|
|
|
"A delightful theory!" she exclaimed. "I must put it into practice."
|
|
|
|
"A dangerous theory!" came from Sir Thomas's tight lips. Lady Agatha
|
|
shook her head, but could not help being amused. Mr. Erskine listened.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," he continued, "that is one of the great secrets of life.
|
|
Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and
|
|
discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are
|
|
one's mistakes."
|
|
|
|
A laugh ran round the table.
|
|
|
|
He played with the idea and grew wilful; tossed it into the air and
|
|
transformed it; let it escape and recaptured it; made it iridescent
|
|
with fancy and winged it with paradox. The praise of folly, as he went
|
|
on, soared into a philosophy, and philosophy herself became young, and
|
|
catching the mad music of pleasure, wearing, one might fancy, her
|
|
wine-stained robe and wreath of ivy, danced like a Bacchante over the
|
|
hills of life, and mocked the slow Silenus for being sober. Facts fled
|
|
before her like frightened forest things. Her white feet trod the huge
|
|
press at which wise Omar sits, till the seething grape-juice rose round
|
|
her bare limbs in waves of purple bubbles, or crawled in red foam over
|
|
the vat's black, dripping, sloping sides. It was an extraordinary
|
|
improvisation. He felt that the eyes of Dorian Gray were fixed on him,
|
|
and the consciousness that amongst his audience there was one whose
|
|
temperament he wished to fascinate seemed to give his wit keenness and
|
|
to lend colour to his imagination. He was brilliant, fantastic,
|
|
irresponsible. He charmed his listeners out of themselves, and they
|
|
followed his pipe, laughing. Dorian Gray never took his gaze off him,
|
|
but sat like one under a spell, smiles chasing each other over his lips
|
|
and wonder growing grave in his darkening eyes.
|
|
|
|
At last, liveried in the costume of the age, reality entered the room
|
|
in the shape of a servant to tell the duchess that her carriage was
|
|
waiting. She wrung her hands in mock despair. "How annoying!" she
|
|
cried. "I must go. I have to call for my husband at the club, to take
|
|
him to some absurd meeting at Willis's Rooms, where he is going to be
|
|
in the chair. If I am late he is sure to be furious, and I couldn't
|
|
have a scene in this bonnet. It is far too fragile. A harsh word
|
|
would ruin it. No, I must go, dear Agatha. Good-bye, Lord Henry, you
|
|
are quite delightful and dreadfully demoralizing. I am sure I don't
|
|
know what to say about your views. You must come and dine with us some
|
|
night. Tuesday? Are you disengaged Tuesday?"
|
|
|
|
"For you I would throw over anybody, Duchess," said Lord Henry with a
|
|
bow.
|
|
|
|
"Ah! that is very nice, and very wrong of you," she cried; "so mind you
|
|
come"; and she swept out of the room, followed by Lady Agatha and the
|
|
other ladies.
|
|
|
|
When Lord Henry had sat down again, Mr. Erskine moved round, and taking
|
|
a chair close to him, placed his hand upon his arm.
|
|
|
|
"You talk books away," he said; "why don't you write one?"
|
|
|
|
"I am too fond of reading books to care to write them, Mr. Erskine. I
|
|
should like to write a novel certainly, a novel that would be as lovely
|
|
as a Persian carpet and as unreal. But there is no literary public in
|
|
England for anything except newspapers, primers, and encyclopaedias.
|
|
Of all people in the world the English have the least sense of the
|
|
beauty of literature."
|
|
|
|
"I fear you are right," answered Mr. Erskine. "I myself used to have
|
|
literary ambitions, but I gave them up long ago. And now, my dear
|
|
young friend, if you will allow me to call you so, may I ask if you
|
|
really meant all that you said to us at lunch?"
|
|
|
|
"I quite forget what I said," smiled Lord Henry. "Was it all very bad?"
|
|
|
|
"Very bad indeed. In fact I consider you extremely dangerous, and if
|
|
anything happens to our good duchess, we shall all look on you as being
|
|
primarily responsible. But I should like to talk to you about life.
|
|
The generation into which I was born was tedious. Some day, when you
|
|
are tired of London, come down to Treadley and expound to me your
|
|
philosophy of pleasure over some admirable Burgundy I am fortunate
|
|
enough to possess."
|
|
|
|
"I shall be charmed. A visit to Treadley would be a great privilege.
|
|
It has a perfect host, and a perfect library."
|
|
|
|
"You will complete it," answered the old gentleman with a courteous
|
|
bow. "And now I must bid good-bye to your excellent aunt. I am due at
|
|
the Athenaeum. It is the hour when we sleep there."
|
|
|
|
"All of you, Mr. Erskine?"
|
|
|
|
"Forty of us, in forty arm-chairs. We are practising for an English
|
|
Academy of Letters."
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry laughed and rose. "I am going to the park," he cried.
|
|
|
|
As he was passing out of the door, Dorian Gray touched him on the arm.
|
|
"Let me come with you," he murmured.
|
|
|
|
"But I thought you had promised Basil Hallward to go and see him,"
|
|
answered Lord Henry.
|
|
|
|
"I would sooner come with you; yes, I feel I must come with you. Do
|
|
let me. And you will promise to talk to me all the time? No one talks
|
|
so wonderfully as you do."
|
|
|
|
"Ah! I have talked quite enough for to-day," said Lord Henry, smiling.
|
|
"All I want now is to look at life. You may come and look at it with
|
|
me, if you care to."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 4
|
|
|
|
One afternoon, a month later, Dorian Gray was reclining in a luxurious
|
|
arm-chair, in the little library of Lord Henry's house in Mayfair. It
|
|
was, in its way, a very charming room, with its high panelled
|
|
wainscoting of olive-stained oak, its cream-coloured frieze and ceiling
|
|
of raised plasterwork, and its brickdust felt carpet strewn with silk,
|
|
long-fringed Persian rugs. On a tiny satinwood table stood a statuette
|
|
by Clodion, and beside it lay a copy of Les Cent Nouvelles, bound for
|
|
Margaret of Valois by Clovis Eve and powdered with the gilt daisies
|
|
that Queen had selected for her device. Some large blue china jars and
|
|
parrot-tulips were ranged on the mantelshelf, and through the small
|
|
leaded panes of the window streamed the apricot-coloured light of a
|
|
summer day in London.
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry had not yet come in. He was always late on principle, his
|
|
principle being that punctuality is the thief of time. So the lad was
|
|
looking rather sulky, as with listless fingers he turned over the pages
|
|
of an elaborately illustrated edition of Manon Lescaut that he had
|
|
found in one of the book-cases. The formal monotonous ticking of the
|
|
Louis Quatorze clock annoyed him. Once or twice he thought of going
|
|
away.
|
|
|
|
At last he heard a step outside, and the door opened. "How late you
|
|
are, Harry!" he murmured.
|
|
|
|
"I am afraid it is not Harry, Mr. Gray," answered a shrill voice.
|
|
|
|
He glanced quickly round and rose to his feet. "I beg your pardon. I
|
|
thought--"
|
|
|
|
"You thought it was my husband. It is only his wife. You must let me
|
|
introduce myself. I know you quite well by your photographs. I think
|
|
my husband has got seventeen of them."
|
|
|
|
"Not seventeen, Lady Henry?"
|
|
|
|
"Well, eighteen, then. And I saw you with him the other night at the
|
|
opera." She laughed nervously as she spoke, and watched him with her
|
|
vague forget-me-not eyes. She was a curious woman, whose dresses
|
|
always looked as if they had been designed in a rage and put on in a
|
|
tempest. She was usually in love with somebody, and, as her passion
|
|
was never returned, she had kept all her illusions. She tried to look
|
|
picturesque, but only succeeded in being untidy. Her name was
|
|
Victoria, and she had a perfect mania for going to church.
|
|
|
|
"That was at Lohengrin, Lady Henry, I think?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes; it was at dear Lohengrin. I like Wagner's music better than
|
|
anybody's. It is so loud that one can talk the whole time without other
|
|
people hearing what one says. That is a great advantage, don't you
|
|
think so, Mr. Gray?"
|
|
|
|
The same nervous staccato laugh broke from her thin lips, and her
|
|
fingers began to play with a long tortoise-shell paper-knife.
|
|
|
|
Dorian smiled and shook his head: "I am afraid I don't think so, Lady
|
|
Henry. I never talk during music--at least, during good music. If one
|
|
hears bad music, it is one's duty to drown it in conversation."
|
|
|
|
"Ah! that is one of Harry's views, isn't it, Mr. Gray? I always hear
|
|
Harry's views from his friends. It is the only way I get to know of
|
|
them. But you must not think I don't like good music. I adore it, but
|
|
I am afraid of it. It makes me too romantic. I have simply worshipped
|
|
pianists--two at a time, sometimes, Harry tells me. I don't know what
|
|
it is about them. Perhaps it is that they are foreigners. They all
|
|
are, ain't they? Even those that are born in England become foreigners
|
|
after a time, don't they? It is so clever of them, and such a
|
|
compliment to art. Makes it quite cosmopolitan, doesn't it? You have
|
|
never been to any of my parties, have you, Mr. Gray? You must come. I
|
|
can't afford orchids, but I spare no expense in foreigners. They make
|
|
one's rooms look so picturesque. But here is Harry! Harry, I came in
|
|
to look for you, to ask you something--I forget what it was--and I
|
|
found Mr. Gray here. We have had such a pleasant chat about music. We
|
|
have quite the same ideas. No; I think our ideas are quite different.
|
|
But he has been most pleasant. I am so glad I've seen him."
|
|
|
|
"I am charmed, my love, quite charmed," said Lord Henry, elevating his
|
|
dark, crescent-shaped eyebrows and looking at them both with an amused
|
|
smile. "So sorry I am late, Dorian. I went to look after a piece of
|
|
old brocade in Wardour Street and had to bargain for hours for it.
|
|
Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing."
|
|
|
|
"I am afraid I must be going," exclaimed Lady Henry, breaking an
|
|
awkward silence with her silly sudden laugh. "I have promised to drive
|
|
with the duchess. Good-bye, Mr. Gray. Good-bye, Harry. You are
|
|
dining out, I suppose? So am I. Perhaps I shall see you at Lady
|
|
Thornbury's."
|
|
|
|
"I dare say, my dear," said Lord Henry, shutting the door behind her
|
|
as, looking like a bird of paradise that had been out all night in the
|
|
rain, she flitted out of the room, leaving a faint odour of
|
|
frangipanni. Then he lit a cigarette and flung himself down on the
|
|
sofa.
|
|
|
|
"Never marry a woman with straw-coloured hair, Dorian," he said after a
|
|
few puffs.
|
|
|
|
"Why, Harry?"
|
|
|
|
"Because they are so sentimental."
|
|
|
|
"But I like sentimental people."
|
|
|
|
"Never marry at all, Dorian. Men marry because they are tired; women,
|
|
because they are curious: both are disappointed."
|
|
|
|
"I don't think I am likely to marry, Harry. I am too much in love.
|
|
That is one of your aphorisms. I am putting it into practice, as I do
|
|
everything that you say."
|
|
|
|
"Who are you in love with?" asked Lord Henry after a pause.
|
|
|
|
"With an actress," said Dorian Gray, blushing.
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry shrugged his shoulders. "That is a rather commonplace
|
|
_debut_."
|
|
|
|
"You would not say so if you saw her, Harry."
|
|
|
|
"Who is she?"
|
|
|
|
"Her name is Sibyl Vane."
|
|
|
|
"Never heard of her."
|
|
|
|
"No one has. People will some day, however. She is a genius."
|
|
|
|
"My dear boy, no woman is a genius. Women are a decorative sex. They
|
|
never have anything to say, but they say it charmingly. Women
|
|
represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the
|
|
triumph of mind over morals."
|
|
|
|
"Harry, how can you?"
|
|
|
|
"My dear Dorian, it is quite true. I am analysing women at present, so
|
|
I ought to know. The subject is not so abstruse as I thought it was.
|
|
I find that, ultimately, there are only two kinds of women, the plain
|
|
and the coloured. The plain women are very useful. If you want to
|
|
gain a reputation for respectability, you have merely to take them down
|
|
to supper. The other women are very charming. They commit one
|
|
mistake, however. They paint in order to try and look young. Our
|
|
grandmothers painted in order to try and talk brilliantly. _Rouge_ and
|
|
_esprit_ used to go together. That is all over now. As long as a woman
|
|
can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly
|
|
satisfied. As for conversation, there are only five women in London
|
|
worth talking to, and two of these can't be admitted into decent
|
|
society. However, tell me about your genius. How long have you known
|
|
her?"
|
|
|
|
"Ah! Harry, your views terrify me."
|
|
|
|
"Never mind that. How long have you known her?"
|
|
|
|
"About three weeks."
|
|
|
|
"And where did you come across her?"
|
|
|
|
"I will tell you, Harry, but you mustn't be unsympathetic about it.
|
|
After all, it never would have happened if I had not met you. You
|
|
filled me with a wild desire to know everything about life. For days
|
|
after I met you, something seemed to throb in my veins. As I lounged
|
|
in the park, or strolled down Piccadilly, I used to look at every one
|
|
who passed me and wonder, with a mad curiosity, what sort of lives they
|
|
led. Some of them fascinated me. Others filled me with terror. There
|
|
was an exquisite poison in the air. I had a passion for sensations....
|
|
Well, one evening about seven o'clock, I determined to go out in search
|
|
of some adventure. I felt that this grey monstrous London of ours,
|
|
with its myriads of people, its sordid sinners, and its splendid sins,
|
|
as you once phrased it, must have something in store for me. I fancied
|
|
a thousand things. The mere danger gave me a sense of delight. I
|
|
remembered what you had said to me on that wonderful evening when we
|
|
first dined together, about the search for beauty being the real secret
|
|
of life. I don't know what I expected, but I went out and wandered
|
|
eastward, soon losing my way in a labyrinth of grimy streets and black
|
|
grassless squares. About half-past eight I passed by an absurd little
|
|
theatre, with great flaring gas-jets and gaudy play-bills. A hideous
|
|
Jew, in the most amazing waistcoat I ever beheld in my life, was
|
|
standing at the entrance, smoking a vile cigar. He had greasy
|
|
ringlets, and an enormous diamond blazed in the centre of a soiled
|
|
shirt. 'Have a box, my Lord?' he said, when he saw me, and he took off
|
|
his hat with an air of gorgeous servility. There was something about
|
|
him, Harry, that amused me. He was such a monster. You will laugh at
|
|
me, I know, but I really went in and paid a whole guinea for the
|
|
stage-box. To the present day I can't make out why I did so; and yet if
|
|
I hadn't--my dear Harry, if I hadn't--I should have missed the greatest
|
|
romance of my life. I see you are laughing. It is horrid of you!"
|
|
|
|
"I am not laughing, Dorian; at least I am not laughing at you. But you
|
|
should not say the greatest romance of your life. You should say the
|
|
first romance of your life. You will always be loved, and you will
|
|
always be in love with love. A _grande passion_ is the privilege of
|
|
people who have nothing to do. That is the one use of the idle classes
|
|
of a country. Don't be afraid. There are exquisite things in store
|
|
for you. This is merely the beginning."
|
|
|
|
"Do you think my nature so shallow?" cried Dorian Gray angrily.
|
|
|
|
"No; I think your nature so deep."
|
|
|
|
"How do you mean?"
|
|
|
|
"My dear boy, the people who love only once in their lives are really
|
|
the shallow people. What they call their loyalty, and their fidelity,
|
|
I call either the lethargy of custom or their lack of imagination.
|
|
Faithfulness is to the emotional life what consistency is to the life
|
|
of the intellect--simply a confession of failure. Faithfulness! I
|
|
must analyse it some day. The passion for property is in it. There
|
|
are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that
|
|
others might pick them up. But I don't want to interrupt you. Go on
|
|
with your story."
|
|
|
|
"Well, I found myself seated in a horrid little private box, with a
|
|
vulgar drop-scene staring me in the face. I looked out from behind the
|
|
curtain and surveyed the house. It was a tawdry affair, all Cupids and
|
|
cornucopias, like a third-rate wedding-cake. The gallery and pit were
|
|
fairly full, but the two rows of dingy stalls were quite empty, and
|
|
there was hardly a person in what I suppose they called the
|
|
dress-circle. Women went about with oranges and ginger-beer, and there
|
|
was a terrible consumption of nuts going on."
|
|
|
|
"It must have been just like the palmy days of the British drama."
|
|
|
|
"Just like, I should fancy, and very depressing. I began to wonder
|
|
what on earth I should do when I caught sight of the play-bill. What
|
|
do you think the play was, Harry?"
|
|
|
|
"I should think 'The Idiot Boy', or 'Dumb but Innocent'. Our fathers
|
|
used to like that sort of piece, I believe. The longer I live, Dorian,
|
|
the more keenly I feel that whatever was good enough for our fathers is
|
|
not good enough for us. In art, as in politics, _les grandperes ont
|
|
toujours tort_."
|
|
|
|
"This play was good enough for us, Harry. It was Romeo and Juliet. I
|
|
must admit that I was rather annoyed at the idea of seeing Shakespeare
|
|
done in such a wretched hole of a place. Still, I felt interested, in
|
|
a sort of way. At any rate, I determined to wait for the first act.
|
|
There was a dreadful orchestra, presided over by a young Hebrew who sat
|
|
at a cracked piano, that nearly drove me away, but at last the
|
|
drop-scene was drawn up and the play began. Romeo was a stout elderly
|
|
gentleman, with corked eyebrows, a husky tragedy voice, and a figure
|
|
like a beer-barrel. Mercutio was almost as bad. He was played by the
|
|
low-comedian, who had introduced gags of his own and was on most
|
|
friendly terms with the pit. They were both as grotesque as the
|
|
scenery, and that looked as if it had come out of a country-booth. But
|
|
Juliet! Harry, imagine a girl, hardly seventeen years of age, with a
|
|
little, flowerlike face, a small Greek head with plaited coils of
|
|
dark-brown hair, eyes that were violet wells of passion, lips that were
|
|
like the petals of a rose. She was the loveliest thing I had ever seen
|
|
in my life. You said to me once that pathos left you unmoved, but that
|
|
beauty, mere beauty, could fill your eyes with tears. I tell you,
|
|
Harry, I could hardly see this girl for the mist of tears that came
|
|
across me. And her voice--I never heard such a voice. It was very low
|
|
at first, with deep mellow notes that seemed to fall singly upon one's
|
|
ear. Then it became a little louder, and sounded like a flute or a
|
|
distant hautboy. In the garden-scene it had all the tremulous ecstasy
|
|
that one hears just before dawn when nightingales are singing. There
|
|
were moments, later on, when it had the wild passion of violins. You
|
|
know how a voice can stir one. Your voice and the voice of Sibyl Vane
|
|
are two things that I shall never forget. When I close my eyes, I hear
|
|
them, and each of them says something different. I don't know which to
|
|
follow. Why should I not love her? Harry, I do love her. She is
|
|
everything to me in life. Night after night I go to see her play. One
|
|
evening she is Rosalind, and the next evening she is Imogen. I have
|
|
seen her die in the gloom of an Italian tomb, sucking the poison from
|
|
her lover's lips. I have watched her wandering through the forest of
|
|
Arden, disguised as a pretty boy in hose and doublet and dainty cap.
|
|
She has been mad, and has come into the presence of a guilty king, and
|
|
given him rue to wear and bitter herbs to taste of. She has been
|
|
innocent, and the black hands of jealousy have crushed her reedlike
|
|
throat. I have seen her in every age and in every costume. Ordinary
|
|
women never appeal to one's imagination. They are limited to their
|
|
century. No glamour ever transfigures them. One knows their minds as
|
|
easily as one knows their bonnets. One can always find them. There is
|
|
no mystery in any of them. They ride in the park in the morning and
|
|
chatter at tea-parties in the afternoon. They have their stereotyped
|
|
smile and their fashionable manner. They are quite obvious. But an
|
|
actress! How different an actress is! Harry! why didn't you tell me
|
|
that the only thing worth loving is an actress?"
|
|
|
|
"Because I have loved so many of them, Dorian."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, yes, horrid people with dyed hair and painted faces."
|
|
|
|
"Don't run down dyed hair and painted faces. There is an extraordinary
|
|
charm in them, sometimes," said Lord Henry.
|
|
|
|
"I wish now I had not told you about Sibyl Vane."
|
|
|
|
"You could not have helped telling me, Dorian. All through your life
|
|
you will tell me everything you do."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, Harry, I believe that is true. I cannot help telling you things.
|
|
You have a curious influence over me. If I ever did a crime, I would
|
|
come and confess it to you. You would understand me."
|
|
|
|
"People like you--the wilful sunbeams of life--don't commit crimes,
|
|
Dorian. But I am much obliged for the compliment, all the same. And
|
|
now tell me--reach me the matches, like a good boy--thanks--what are
|
|
your actual relations with Sibyl Vane?"
|
|
|
|
Dorian Gray leaped to his feet, with flushed cheeks and burning eyes.
|
|
"Harry! Sibyl Vane is sacred!"
|
|
|
|
"It is only the sacred things that are worth touching, Dorian," said
|
|
Lord Henry, with a strange touch of pathos in his voice. "But why
|
|
should you be annoyed? I suppose she will belong to you some day.
|
|
When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one's self, and one
|
|
always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a
|
|
romance. You know her, at any rate, I suppose?"
|
|
|
|
"Of course I know her. On the first night I was at the theatre, the
|
|
horrid old Jew came round to the box after the performance was over and
|
|
offered to take me behind the scenes and introduce me to her. I was
|
|
furious with him, and told him that Juliet had been dead for hundreds
|
|
of years and that her body was lying in a marble tomb in Verona. I
|
|
think, from his blank look of amazement, that he was under the
|
|
impression that I had taken too much champagne, or something."
|
|
|
|
"I am not surprised."
|
|
|
|
"Then he asked me if I wrote for any of the newspapers. I told him I
|
|
never even read them. He seemed terribly disappointed at that, and
|
|
confided to me that all the dramatic critics were in a conspiracy
|
|
against him, and that they were every one of them to be bought."
|
|
|
|
"I should not wonder if he was quite right there. But, on the other
|
|
hand, judging from their appearance, most of them cannot be at all
|
|
expensive."
|
|
|
|
"Well, he seemed to think they were beyond his means," laughed Dorian.
|
|
"By this time, however, the lights were being put out in the theatre,
|
|
and I had to go. He wanted me to try some cigars that he strongly
|
|
recommended. I declined. The next night, of course, I arrived at the
|
|
place again. When he saw me, he made me a low bow and assured me that
|
|
I was a munificent patron of art. He was a most offensive brute,
|
|
though he had an extraordinary passion for Shakespeare. He told me
|
|
once, with an air of pride, that his five bankruptcies were entirely
|
|
due to 'The Bard,' as he insisted on calling him. He seemed to think
|
|
it a distinction."
|
|
|
|
"It was a distinction, my dear Dorian--a great distinction. Most
|
|
people become bankrupt through having invested too heavily in the prose
|
|
of life. To have ruined one's self over poetry is an honour. But when
|
|
did you first speak to Miss Sibyl Vane?"
|
|
|
|
"The third night. She had been playing Rosalind. I could not help
|
|
going round. I had thrown her some flowers, and she had looked at
|
|
me--at least I fancied that she had. The old Jew was persistent. He
|
|
seemed determined to take me behind, so I consented. It was curious my
|
|
not wanting to know her, wasn't it?"
|
|
|
|
"No; I don't think so."
|
|
|
|
"My dear Harry, why?"
|
|
|
|
"I will tell you some other time. Now I want to know about the girl."
|
|
|
|
"Sibyl? Oh, she was so shy and so gentle. There is something of a
|
|
child about her. Her eyes opened wide in exquisite wonder when I told
|
|
her what I thought of her performance, and she seemed quite unconscious
|
|
of her power. I think we were both rather nervous. The old Jew stood
|
|
grinning at the doorway of the dusty greenroom, making elaborate
|
|
speeches about us both, while we stood looking at each other like
|
|
children. He would insist on calling me 'My Lord,' so I had to assure
|
|
Sibyl that I was not anything of the kind. She said quite simply to
|
|
me, 'You look more like a prince. I must call you Prince Charming.'"
|
|
|
|
"Upon my word, Dorian, Miss Sibyl knows how to pay compliments."
|
|
|
|
"You don't understand her, Harry. She regarded me merely as a person
|
|
in a play. She knows nothing of life. She lives with her mother, a
|
|
faded tired woman who played Lady Capulet in a sort of magenta
|
|
dressing-wrapper on the first night, and looks as if she had seen
|
|
better days."
|
|
|
|
"I know that look. It depresses me," murmured Lord Henry, examining
|
|
his rings.
|
|
|
|
"The Jew wanted to tell me her history, but I said it did not interest
|
|
me."
|
|
|
|
"You were quite right. There is always something infinitely mean about
|
|
other people's tragedies."
|
|
|
|
"Sibyl is the only thing I care about. What is it to me where she came
|
|
from? From her little head to her little feet, she is absolutely and
|
|
entirely divine. Every night of my life I go to see her act, and every
|
|
night she is more marvellous."
|
|
|
|
"That is the reason, I suppose, that you never dine with me now. I
|
|
thought you must have some curious romance on hand. You have; but it
|
|
is not quite what I expected."
|
|
|
|
"My dear Harry, we either lunch or sup together every day, and I have
|
|
been to the opera with you several times," said Dorian, opening his
|
|
blue eyes in wonder.
|
|
|
|
"You always come dreadfully late."
|
|
|
|
"Well, I can't help going to see Sibyl play," he cried, "even if it is
|
|
only for a single act. I get hungry for her presence; and when I think
|
|
of the wonderful soul that is hidden away in that little ivory body, I
|
|
am filled with awe."
|
|
|
|
"You can dine with me to-night, Dorian, can't you?"
|
|
|
|
He shook his head. "To-night she is Imogen," he answered, "and
|
|
to-morrow night she will be Juliet."
|
|
|
|
"When is she Sibyl Vane?"
|
|
|
|
"Never."
|
|
|
|
"I congratulate you."
|
|
|
|
"How horrid you are! She is all the great heroines of the world in
|
|
one. She is more than an individual. You laugh, but I tell you she
|
|
has genius. I love her, and I must make her love me. You, who know
|
|
all the secrets of life, tell me how to charm Sibyl Vane to love me! I
|
|
want to make Romeo jealous. I want the dead lovers of the world to
|
|
hear our laughter and grow sad. I want a breath of our passion to stir
|
|
their dust into consciousness, to wake their ashes into pain. My God,
|
|
Harry, how I worship her!" He was walking up and down the room as he
|
|
spoke. Hectic spots of red burned on his cheeks. He was terribly
|
|
excited.
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry watched him with a subtle sense of pleasure. How different
|
|
he was now from the shy frightened boy he had met in Basil Hallward's
|
|
studio! His nature had developed like a flower, had borne blossoms of
|
|
scarlet flame. Out of its secret hiding-place had crept his soul, and
|
|
desire had come to meet it on the way.
|
|
|
|
"And what do you propose to do?" said Lord Henry at last.
|
|
|
|
"I want you and Basil to come with me some night and see her act. I
|
|
have not the slightest fear of the result. You are certain to
|
|
acknowledge her genius. Then we must get her out of the Jew's hands.
|
|
She is bound to him for three years--at least for two years and eight
|
|
months--from the present time. I shall have to pay him something, of
|
|
course. When all that is settled, I shall take a West End theatre and
|
|
bring her out properly. She will make the world as mad as she has made
|
|
me."
|
|
|
|
"That would be impossible, my dear boy."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, she will. She has not merely art, consummate art-instinct, in
|
|
her, but she has personality also; and you have often told me that it
|
|
is personalities, not principles, that move the age."
|
|
|
|
"Well, what night shall we go?"
|
|
|
|
"Let me see. To-day is Tuesday. Let us fix to-morrow. She plays
|
|
Juliet to-morrow."
|
|
|
|
"All right. The Bristol at eight o'clock; and I will get Basil."
|
|
|
|
"Not eight, Harry, please. Half-past six. We must be there before the
|
|
curtain rises. You must see her in the first act, where she meets
|
|
Romeo."
|
|
|
|
"Half-past six! What an hour! It will be like having a meat-tea, or
|
|
reading an English novel. It must be seven. No gentleman dines before
|
|
seven. Shall you see Basil between this and then? Or shall I write to
|
|
him?"
|
|
|
|
"Dear Basil! I have not laid eyes on him for a week. It is rather
|
|
horrid of me, as he has sent me my portrait in the most wonderful
|
|
frame, specially designed by himself, and, though I am a little jealous
|
|
of the picture for being a whole month younger than I am, I must admit
|
|
that I delight in it. Perhaps you had better write to him. I don't
|
|
want to see him alone. He says things that annoy me. He gives me good
|
|
advice."
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry smiled. "People are very fond of giving away what they need
|
|
most themselves. It is what I call the depth of generosity."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, Basil is the best of fellows, but he seems to me to be just a bit
|
|
of a Philistine. Since I have known you, Harry, I have discovered
|
|
that."
|
|
|
|
"Basil, my dear boy, puts everything that is charming in him into his
|
|
work. The consequence is that he has nothing left for life but his
|
|
prejudices, his principles, and his common sense. The only artists I
|
|
have ever known who are personally delightful are bad artists. Good
|
|
artists exist simply in what they make, and consequently are perfectly
|
|
uninteresting in what they are. A great poet, a really great poet, is
|
|
the most unpoetical of all creatures. But inferior poets are
|
|
absolutely fascinating. The worse their rhymes are, the more
|
|
picturesque they look. The mere fact of having published a book of
|
|
second-rate sonnets makes a man quite irresistible. He lives the
|
|
poetry that he cannot write. The others write the poetry that they
|
|
dare not realize."
|
|
|
|
"I wonder is that really so, Harry?" said Dorian Gray, putting some
|
|
perfume on his handkerchief out of a large, gold-topped bottle that
|
|
stood on the table. "It must be, if you say it. And now I am off.
|
|
Imogen is waiting for me. Don't forget about to-morrow. Good-bye."
|
|
|
|
As he left the room, Lord Henry's heavy eyelids drooped, and he began
|
|
to think. Certainly few people had ever interested him so much as
|
|
Dorian Gray, and yet the lad's mad adoration of some one else caused
|
|
him not the slightest pang of annoyance or jealousy. He was pleased by
|
|
it. It made him a more interesting study. He had been always
|
|
enthralled by the methods of natural science, but the ordinary
|
|
subject-matter of that science had seemed to him trivial and of no
|
|
import. And so he had begun by vivisecting himself, as he had ended by
|
|
vivisecting others. Human life--that appeared to him the one thing
|
|
worth investigating. Compared to it there was nothing else of any
|
|
value. It was true that as one watched life in its curious crucible of
|
|
pain and pleasure, one could not wear over one's face a mask of glass,
|
|
nor keep the sulphurous fumes from troubling the brain and making the
|
|
imagination turbid with monstrous fancies and misshapen dreams. There
|
|
were poisons so subtle that to know their properties one had to sicken
|
|
of them. There were maladies so strange that one had to pass through
|
|
them if one sought to understand their nature. And, yet, what a great
|
|
reward one received! How wonderful the whole world became to one! To
|
|
note the curious hard logic of passion, and the emotional coloured life
|
|
of the intellect--to observe where they met, and where they separated,
|
|
at what point they were in unison, and at what point they were at
|
|
discord--there was a delight in that! What matter what the cost was?
|
|
One could never pay too high a price for any sensation.
|
|
|
|
He was conscious--and the thought brought a gleam of pleasure into his
|
|
brown agate eyes--that it was through certain words of his, musical
|
|
words said with musical utterance, that Dorian Gray's soul had turned
|
|
to this white girl and bowed in worship before her. To a large extent
|
|
the lad was his own creation. He had made him premature. That was
|
|
something. Ordinary people waited till life disclosed to them its
|
|
secrets, but to the few, to the elect, the mysteries of life were
|
|
revealed before the veil was drawn away. Sometimes this was the effect
|
|
of art, and chiefly of the art of literature, which dealt immediately
|
|
with the passions and the intellect. But now and then a complex
|
|
personality took the place and assumed the office of art, was indeed,
|
|
in its way, a real work of art, life having its elaborate masterpieces,
|
|
just as poetry has, or sculpture, or painting.
|
|
|
|
Yes, the lad was premature. He was gathering his harvest while it was
|
|
yet spring. The pulse and passion of youth were in him, but he was
|
|
becoming self-conscious. It was delightful to watch him. With his
|
|
beautiful face, and his beautiful soul, he was a thing to wonder at.
|
|
It was no matter how it all ended, or was destined to end. He was like
|
|
one of those gracious figures in a pageant or a play, whose joys seem
|
|
to be remote from one, but whose sorrows stir one's sense of beauty,
|
|
and whose wounds are like red roses.
|
|
|
|
Soul and body, body and soul--how mysterious they were! There was
|
|
animalism in the soul, and the body had its moments of spirituality.
|
|
The senses could refine, and the intellect could degrade. Who could
|
|
say where the fleshly impulse ceased, or the psychical impulse began?
|
|
How shallow were the arbitrary definitions of ordinary psychologists!
|
|
And yet how difficult to decide between the claims of the various
|
|
schools! Was the soul a shadow seated in the house of sin? Or was the
|
|
body really in the soul, as Giordano Bruno thought? The separation of
|
|
spirit from matter was a mystery, and the union of spirit with matter
|
|
was a mystery also.
|
|
|
|
He began to wonder whether we could ever make psychology so absolute a
|
|
science that each little spring of life would be revealed to us. As it
|
|
was, we always misunderstood ourselves and rarely understood others.
|
|
Experience was of no ethical value. It was merely the name men gave to
|
|
their mistakes. Moralists had, as a rule, regarded it as a mode of
|
|
warning, had claimed for it a certain ethical efficacy in the formation
|
|
of character, had praised it as something that taught us what to follow
|
|
and showed us what to avoid. But there was no motive power in
|
|
experience. It was as little of an active cause as conscience itself.
|
|
All that it really demonstrated was that our future would be the same
|
|
as our past, and that the sin we had done once, and with loathing, we
|
|
would do many times, and with joy.
|
|
|
|
It was clear to him that the experimental method was the only method by
|
|
which one could arrive at any scientific analysis of the passions; and
|
|
certainly Dorian Gray was a subject made to his hand, and seemed to
|
|
promise rich and fruitful results. His sudden mad love for Sibyl Vane
|
|
was a psychological phenomenon of no small interest. There was no
|
|
doubt that curiosity had much to do with it, curiosity and the desire
|
|
for new experiences, yet it was not a simple, but rather a very complex
|
|
passion. What there was in it of the purely sensuous instinct of
|
|
boyhood had been transformed by the workings of the imagination,
|
|
changed into something that seemed to the lad himself to be remote from
|
|
sense, and was for that very reason all the more dangerous. It was the
|
|
passions about whose origin we deceived ourselves that tyrannized most
|
|
strongly over us. Our weakest motives were those of whose nature we
|
|
were conscious. It often happened that when we thought we were
|
|
experimenting on others we were really experimenting on ourselves.
|
|
|
|
While Lord Henry sat dreaming on these things, a knock came to the
|
|
door, and his valet entered and reminded him it was time to dress for
|
|
dinner. He got up and looked out into the street. The sunset had
|
|
smitten into scarlet gold the upper windows of the houses opposite.
|
|
The panes glowed like plates of heated metal. The sky above was like a
|
|
faded rose. He thought of his friend's young fiery-coloured life and
|
|
wondered how it was all going to end.
|
|
|
|
When he arrived home, about half-past twelve o'clock, he saw a telegram
|
|
lying on the hall table. He opened it and found it was from Dorian
|
|
Gray. It was to tell him that he was engaged to be married to Sibyl
|
|
Vane.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 5
|
|
|
|
"Mother, Mother, I am so happy!" whispered the girl, burying her face
|
|
in the lap of the faded, tired-looking woman who, with back turned to
|
|
the shrill intrusive light, was sitting in the one arm-chair that their
|
|
dingy sitting-room contained. "I am so happy!" she repeated, "and you
|
|
must be happy, too!"
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Vane winced and put her thin, bismuth-whitened hands on her
|
|
daughter's head. "Happy!" she echoed, "I am only happy, Sibyl, when I
|
|
see you act. You must not think of anything but your acting. Mr.
|
|
Isaacs has been very good to us, and we owe him money."
|
|
|
|
The girl looked up and pouted. "Money, Mother?" she cried, "what does
|
|
money matter? Love is more than money."
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Isaacs has advanced us fifty pounds to pay off our debts and to
|
|
get a proper outfit for James. You must not forget that, Sibyl. Fifty
|
|
pounds is a very large sum. Mr. Isaacs has been most considerate."
|
|
|
|
"He is not a gentleman, Mother, and I hate the way he talks to me,"
|
|
said the girl, rising to her feet and going over to the window.
|
|
|
|
"I don't know how we could manage without him," answered the elder
|
|
woman querulously.
|
|
|
|
Sibyl Vane tossed her head and laughed. "We don't want him any more,
|
|
Mother. Prince Charming rules life for us now." Then she paused. A
|
|
rose shook in her blood and shadowed her cheeks. Quick breath parted
|
|
the petals of her lips. They trembled. Some southern wind of passion
|
|
swept over her and stirred the dainty folds of her dress. "I love
|
|
him," she said simply.
|
|
|
|
"Foolish child! foolish child!" was the parrot-phrase flung in answer.
|
|
The waving of crooked, false-jewelled fingers gave grotesqueness to the
|
|
words.
|
|
|
|
The girl laughed again. The joy of a caged bird was in her voice. Her
|
|
eyes caught the melody and echoed it in radiance, then closed for a
|
|
moment, as though to hide their secret. When they opened, the mist of
|
|
a dream had passed across them.
|
|
|
|
Thin-lipped wisdom spoke at her from the worn chair, hinted at
|
|
prudence, quoted from that book of cowardice whose author apes the name
|
|
of common sense. She did not listen. She was free in her prison of
|
|
passion. Her prince, Prince Charming, was with her. She had called on
|
|
memory to remake him. She had sent her soul to search for him, and it
|
|
had brought him back. His kiss burned again upon her mouth. Her
|
|
eyelids were warm with his breath.
|
|
|
|
Then wisdom altered its method and spoke of espial and discovery. This
|
|
young man might be rich. If so, marriage should be thought of.
|
|
Against the shell of her ear broke the waves of worldly cunning. The
|
|
arrows of craft shot by her. She saw the thin lips moving, and smiled.
|
|
|
|
Suddenly she felt the need to speak. The wordy silence troubled her.
|
|
"Mother, Mother," she cried, "why does he love me so much? I know why
|
|
I love him. I love him because he is like what love himself should be.
|
|
But what does he see in me? I am not worthy of him. And yet--why, I
|
|
cannot tell--though I feel so much beneath him, I don't feel humble. I
|
|
feel proud, terribly proud. Mother, did you love my father as I love
|
|
Prince Charming?"
|
|
|
|
The elder woman grew pale beneath the coarse powder that daubed her
|
|
cheeks, and her dry lips twitched with a spasm of pain. Sybil rushed
|
|
to her, flung her arms round her neck, and kissed her. "Forgive me,
|
|
Mother. I know it pains you to talk about our father. But it only
|
|
pains you because you loved him so much. Don't look so sad. I am as
|
|
happy to-day as you were twenty years ago. Ah! let me be happy for
|
|
ever!"
|
|
|
|
"My child, you are far too young to think of falling in love. Besides,
|
|
what do you know of this young man? You don't even know his name. The
|
|
whole thing is most inconvenient, and really, when James is going away
|
|
to Australia, and I have so much to think of, I must say that you
|
|
should have shown more consideration. However, as I said before, if he
|
|
is rich ..."
|
|
|
|
"Ah! Mother, Mother, let me be happy!"
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Vane glanced at her, and with one of those false theatrical
|
|
gestures that so often become a mode of second nature to a
|
|
stage-player, clasped her in her arms. At this moment, the door opened
|
|
and a young lad with rough brown hair came into the room. He was
|
|
thick-set of figure, and his hands and feet were large and somewhat
|
|
clumsy in movement. He was not so finely bred as his sister. One
|
|
would hardly have guessed the close relationship that existed between
|
|
them. Mrs. Vane fixed her eyes on him and intensified her smile. She
|
|
mentally elevated her son to the dignity of an audience. She felt sure
|
|
that the _tableau_ was interesting.
|
|
|
|
"You might keep some of your kisses for me, Sibyl, I think," said the
|
|
lad with a good-natured grumble.
|
|
|
|
"Ah! but you don't like being kissed, Jim," she cried. "You are a
|
|
dreadful old bear." And she ran across the room and hugged him.
|
|
|
|
James Vane looked into his sister's face with tenderness. "I want you
|
|
to come out with me for a walk, Sibyl. I don't suppose I shall ever
|
|
see this horrid London again. I am sure I don't want to."
|
|
|
|
"My son, don't say such dreadful things," murmured Mrs. Vane, taking up
|
|
a tawdry theatrical dress, with a sigh, and beginning to patch it. She
|
|
felt a little disappointed that he had not joined the group. It would
|
|
have increased the theatrical picturesqueness of the situation.
|
|
|
|
"Why not, Mother? I mean it."
|
|
|
|
"You pain me, my son. I trust you will return from Australia in a
|
|
position of affluence. I believe there is no society of any kind in
|
|
the Colonies--nothing that I would call society--so when you have made
|
|
your fortune, you must come back and assert yourself in London."
|
|
|
|
"Society!" muttered the lad. "I don't want to know anything about
|
|
that. I should like to make some money to take you and Sibyl off the
|
|
stage. I hate it."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, Jim!" said Sibyl, laughing, "how unkind of you! But are you
|
|
really going for a walk with me? That will be nice! I was afraid you
|
|
were going to say good-bye to some of your friends--to Tom Hardy, who
|
|
gave you that hideous pipe, or Ned Langton, who makes fun of you for
|
|
smoking it. It is very sweet of you to let me have your last
|
|
afternoon. Where shall we go? Let us go to the park."
|
|
|
|
"I am too shabby," he answered, frowning. "Only swell people go to the
|
|
park."
|
|
|
|
"Nonsense, Jim," she whispered, stroking the sleeve of his coat.
|
|
|
|
He hesitated for a moment. "Very well," he said at last, "but don't be
|
|
too long dressing." She danced out of the door. One could hear her
|
|
singing as she ran upstairs. Her little feet pattered overhead.
|
|
|
|
He walked up and down the room two or three times. Then he turned to
|
|
the still figure in the chair. "Mother, are my things ready?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
"Quite ready, James," she answered, keeping her eyes on her work. For
|
|
some months past she had felt ill at ease when she was alone with this
|
|
rough stern son of hers. Her shallow secret nature was troubled when
|
|
their eyes met. She used to wonder if he suspected anything. The
|
|
silence, for he made no other observation, became intolerable to her.
|
|
She began to complain. Women defend themselves by attacking, just as
|
|
they attack by sudden and strange surrenders. "I hope you will be
|
|
contented, James, with your sea-faring life," she said. "You must
|
|
remember that it is your own choice. You might have entered a
|
|
solicitor's office. Solicitors are a very respectable class, and in
|
|
the country often dine with the best families."
|
|
|
|
"I hate offices, and I hate clerks," he replied. "But you are quite
|
|
right. I have chosen my own life. All I say is, watch over Sibyl.
|
|
Don't let her come to any harm. Mother, you must watch over her."
|
|
|
|
"James, you really talk very strangely. Of course I watch over Sibyl."
|
|
|
|
"I hear a gentleman comes every night to the theatre and goes behind to
|
|
talk to her. Is that right? What about that?"
|
|
|
|
"You are speaking about things you don't understand, James. In the
|
|
profession we are accustomed to receive a great deal of most gratifying
|
|
attention. I myself used to receive many bouquets at one time. That
|
|
was when acting was really understood. As for Sibyl, I do not know at
|
|
present whether her attachment is serious or not. But there is no
|
|
doubt that the young man in question is a perfect gentleman. He is
|
|
always most polite to me. Besides, he has the appearance of being
|
|
rich, and the flowers he sends are lovely."
|
|
|
|
"You don't know his name, though," said the lad harshly.
|
|
|
|
"No," answered his mother with a placid expression in her face. "He
|
|
has not yet revealed his real name. I think it is quite romantic of
|
|
him. He is probably a member of the aristocracy."
|
|
|
|
James Vane bit his lip. "Watch over Sibyl, Mother," he cried, "watch
|
|
over her."
|
|
|
|
"My son, you distress me very much. Sibyl is always under my special
|
|
care. Of course, if this gentleman is wealthy, there is no reason why
|
|
she should not contract an alliance with him. I trust he is one of the
|
|
aristocracy. He has all the appearance of it, I must say. It might be
|
|
a most brilliant marriage for Sibyl. They would make a charming
|
|
couple. His good looks are really quite remarkable; everybody notices
|
|
them."
|
|
|
|
The lad muttered something to himself and drummed on the window-pane
|
|
with his coarse fingers. He had just turned round to say something
|
|
when the door opened and Sibyl ran in.
|
|
|
|
"How serious you both are!" she cried. "What is the matter?"
|
|
|
|
"Nothing," he answered. "I suppose one must be serious sometimes.
|
|
Good-bye, Mother; I will have my dinner at five o'clock. Everything is
|
|
packed, except my shirts, so you need not trouble."
|
|
|
|
"Good-bye, my son," she answered with a bow of strained stateliness.
|
|
|
|
She was extremely annoyed at the tone he had adopted with her, and
|
|
there was something in his look that had made her feel afraid.
|
|
|
|
"Kiss me, Mother," said the girl. Her flowerlike lips touched the
|
|
withered cheek and warmed its frost.
|
|
|
|
"My child! my child!" cried Mrs. Vane, looking up to the ceiling in
|
|
search of an imaginary gallery.
|
|
|
|
"Come, Sibyl," said her brother impatiently. He hated his mother's
|
|
affectations.
|
|
|
|
They went out into the flickering, wind-blown sunlight and strolled
|
|
down the dreary Euston Road. The passersby glanced in wonder at the
|
|
sullen heavy youth who, in coarse, ill-fitting clothes, was in the
|
|
company of such a graceful, refined-looking girl. He was like a common
|
|
gardener walking with a rose.
|
|
|
|
Jim frowned from time to time when he caught the inquisitive glance of
|
|
some stranger. He had that dislike of being stared at, which comes on
|
|
geniuses late in life and never leaves the commonplace. Sibyl,
|
|
however, was quite unconscious of the effect she was producing. Her
|
|
love was trembling in laughter on her lips. She was thinking of Prince
|
|
Charming, and, that she might think of him all the more, she did not
|
|
talk of him, but prattled on about the ship in which Jim was going to
|
|
sail, about the gold he was certain to find, about the wonderful
|
|
heiress whose life he was to save from the wicked, red-shirted
|
|
bushrangers. For he was not to remain a sailor, or a supercargo, or
|
|
whatever he was going to be. Oh, no! A sailor's existence was
|
|
dreadful. Fancy being cooped up in a horrid ship, with the hoarse,
|
|
hump-backed waves trying to get in, and a black wind blowing the masts
|
|
down and tearing the sails into long screaming ribands! He was to
|
|
leave the vessel at Melbourne, bid a polite good-bye to the captain,
|
|
and go off at once to the gold-fields. Before a week was over he was to
|
|
come across a large nugget of pure gold, the largest nugget that had
|
|
ever been discovered, and bring it down to the coast in a waggon
|
|
guarded by six mounted policemen. The bushrangers were to attack them
|
|
three times, and be defeated with immense slaughter. Or, no. He was
|
|
not to go to the gold-fields at all. They were horrid places, where
|
|
men got intoxicated, and shot each other in bar-rooms, and used bad
|
|
language. He was to be a nice sheep-farmer, and one evening, as he was
|
|
riding home, he was to see the beautiful heiress being carried off by a
|
|
robber on a black horse, and give chase, and rescue her. Of course,
|
|
she would fall in love with him, and he with her, and they would get
|
|
married, and come home, and live in an immense house in London. Yes,
|
|
there were delightful things in store for him. But he must be very
|
|
good, and not lose his temper, or spend his money foolishly. She was
|
|
only a year older than he was, but she knew so much more of life. He
|
|
must be sure, also, to write to her by every mail, and to say his
|
|
prayers each night before he went to sleep. God was very good, and
|
|
would watch over him. She would pray for him, too, and in a few years
|
|
he would come back quite rich and happy.
|
|
|
|
The lad listened sulkily to her and made no answer. He was heart-sick
|
|
at leaving home.
|
|
|
|
Yet it was not this alone that made him gloomy and morose.
|
|
Inexperienced though he was, he had still a strong sense of the danger
|
|
of Sibyl's position. This young dandy who was making love to her could
|
|
mean her no good. He was a gentleman, and he hated him for that, hated
|
|
him through some curious race-instinct for which he could not account,
|
|
and which for that reason was all the more dominant within him. He was
|
|
conscious also of the shallowness and vanity of his mother's nature,
|
|
and in that saw infinite peril for Sibyl and Sibyl's happiness.
|
|
Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge
|
|
them; sometimes they forgive them.
|
|
|
|
His mother! He had something on his mind to ask of her, something that
|
|
he had brooded on for many months of silence. A chance phrase that he
|
|
had heard at the theatre, a whispered sneer that had reached his ears
|
|
one night as he waited at the stage-door, had set loose a train of
|
|
horrible thoughts. He remembered it as if it had been the lash of a
|
|
hunting-crop across his face. His brows knit together into a wedge-like
|
|
furrow, and with a twitch of pain he bit his underlip.
|
|
|
|
"You are not listening to a word I am saying, Jim," cried Sibyl, "and I
|
|
am making the most delightful plans for your future. Do say something."
|
|
|
|
"What do you want me to say?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh! that you will be a good boy and not forget us," she answered,
|
|
smiling at him.
|
|
|
|
He shrugged his shoulders. "You are more likely to forget me than I am
|
|
to forget you, Sibyl."
|
|
|
|
She flushed. "What do you mean, Jim?" she asked.
|
|
|
|
"You have a new friend, I hear. Who is he? Why have you not told me
|
|
about him? He means you no good."
|
|
|
|
"Stop, Jim!" she exclaimed. "You must not say anything against him. I
|
|
love him."
|
|
|
|
"Why, you don't even know his name," answered the lad. "Who is he? I
|
|
have a right to know."
|
|
|
|
"He is called Prince Charming. Don't you like the name. Oh! you silly
|
|
boy! you should never forget it. If you only saw him, you would think
|
|
him the most wonderful person in the world. Some day you will meet
|
|
him--when you come back from Australia. You will like him so much.
|
|
Everybody likes him, and I ... love him. I wish you could come to the
|
|
theatre to-night. He is going to be there, and I am to play Juliet.
|
|
Oh! how I shall play it! Fancy, Jim, to be in love and play Juliet!
|
|
To have him sitting there! To play for his delight! I am afraid I may
|
|
frighten the company, frighten or enthrall them. To be in love is to
|
|
surpass one's self. Poor dreadful Mr. Isaacs will be shouting 'genius'
|
|
to his loafers at the bar. He has preached me as a dogma; to-night he
|
|
will announce me as a revelation. I feel it. And it is all his, his
|
|
only, Prince Charming, my wonderful lover, my god of graces. But I am
|
|
poor beside him. Poor? What does that matter? When poverty creeps in
|
|
at the door, love flies in through the window. Our proverbs want
|
|
rewriting. They were made in winter, and it is summer now; spring-time
|
|
for me, I think, a very dance of blossoms in blue skies."
|
|
|
|
"He is a gentleman," said the lad sullenly.
|
|
|
|
"A prince!" she cried musically. "What more do you want?"
|
|
|
|
"He wants to enslave you."
|
|
|
|
"I shudder at the thought of being free."
|
|
|
|
"I want you to beware of him."
|
|
|
|
"To see him is to worship him; to know him is to trust him."
|
|
|
|
"Sibyl, you are mad about him."
|
|
|
|
She laughed and took his arm. "You dear old Jim, you talk as if you
|
|
were a hundred. Some day you will be in love yourself. Then you will
|
|
know what it is. Don't look so sulky. Surely you should be glad to
|
|
think that, though you are going away, you leave me happier than I have
|
|
ever been before. Life has been hard for us both, terribly hard and
|
|
difficult. But it will be different now. You are going to a new
|
|
world, and I have found one. Here are two chairs; let us sit down and
|
|
see the smart people go by."
|
|
|
|
They took their seats amidst a crowd of watchers. The tulip-beds
|
|
across the road flamed like throbbing rings of fire. A white
|
|
dust--tremulous cloud of orris-root it seemed--hung in the panting air.
|
|
The brightly coloured parasols danced and dipped like monstrous
|
|
butterflies.
|
|
|
|
She made her brother talk of himself, his hopes, his prospects. He
|
|
spoke slowly and with effort. They passed words to each other as
|
|
players at a game pass counters. Sibyl felt oppressed. She could not
|
|
communicate her joy. A faint smile curving that sullen mouth was all
|
|
the echo she could win. After some time she became silent. Suddenly
|
|
she caught a glimpse of golden hair and laughing lips, and in an open
|
|
carriage with two ladies Dorian Gray drove past.
|
|
|
|
She started to her feet. "There he is!" she cried.
|
|
|
|
"Who?" said Jim Vane.
|
|
|
|
"Prince Charming," she answered, looking after the victoria.
|
|
|
|
He jumped up and seized her roughly by the arm. "Show him to me.
|
|
Which is he? Point him out. I must see him!" he exclaimed; but at
|
|
that moment the Duke of Berwick's four-in-hand came between, and when
|
|
it had left the space clear, the carriage had swept out of the park.
|
|
|
|
"He is gone," murmured Sibyl sadly. "I wish you had seen him."
|
|
|
|
"I wish I had, for as sure as there is a God in heaven, if he ever does
|
|
you any wrong, I shall kill him."
|
|
|
|
She looked at him in horror. He repeated his words. They cut the air
|
|
like a dagger. The people round began to gape. A lady standing close
|
|
to her tittered.
|
|
|
|
"Come away, Jim; come away," she whispered. He followed her doggedly
|
|
as she passed through the crowd. He felt glad at what he had said.
|
|
|
|
When they reached the Achilles Statue, she turned round. There was
|
|
pity in her eyes that became laughter on her lips. She shook her head
|
|
at him. "You are foolish, Jim, utterly foolish; a bad-tempered boy,
|
|
that is all. How can you say such horrible things? You don't know
|
|
what you are talking about. You are simply jealous and unkind. Ah! I
|
|
wish you would fall in love. Love makes people good, and what you said
|
|
was wicked."
|
|
|
|
"I am sixteen," he answered, "and I know what I am about. Mother is no
|
|
help to you. She doesn't understand how to look after you. I wish now
|
|
that I was not going to Australia at all. I have a great mind to chuck
|
|
the whole thing up. I would, if my articles hadn't been signed."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, don't be so serious, Jim. You are like one of the heroes of those
|
|
silly melodramas Mother used to be so fond of acting in. I am not
|
|
going to quarrel with you. I have seen him, and oh! to see him is
|
|
perfect happiness. We won't quarrel. I know you would never harm any
|
|
one I love, would you?"
|
|
|
|
"Not as long as you love him, I suppose," was the sullen answer.
|
|
|
|
"I shall love him for ever!" she cried.
|
|
|
|
"And he?"
|
|
|
|
"For ever, too!"
|
|
|
|
"He had better."
|
|
|
|
She shrank from him. Then she laughed and put her hand on his arm. He
|
|
was merely a boy.
|
|
|
|
At the Marble Arch they hailed an omnibus, which left them close to
|
|
their shabby home in the Euston Road. It was after five o'clock, and
|
|
Sibyl had to lie down for a couple of hours before acting. Jim
|
|
insisted that she should do so. He said that he would sooner part with
|
|
her when their mother was not present. She would be sure to make a
|
|
scene, and he detested scenes of every kind.
|
|
|
|
In Sybil's own room they parted. There was jealousy in the lad's
|
|
heart, and a fierce murderous hatred of the stranger who, as it seemed
|
|
to him, had come between them. Yet, when her arms were flung round his
|
|
neck, and her fingers strayed through his hair, he softened and kissed
|
|
her with real affection. There were tears in his eyes as he went
|
|
downstairs.
|
|
|
|
His mother was waiting for him below. She grumbled at his
|
|
unpunctuality, as he entered. He made no answer, but sat down to his
|
|
meagre meal. The flies buzzed round the table and crawled over the
|
|
stained cloth. Through the rumble of omnibuses, and the clatter of
|
|
street-cabs, he could hear the droning voice devouring each minute that
|
|
was left to him.
|
|
|
|
After some time, he thrust away his plate and put his head in his
|
|
hands. He felt that he had a right to know. It should have been told
|
|
to him before, if it was as he suspected. Leaden with fear, his mother
|
|
watched him. Words dropped mechanically from her lips. A tattered
|
|
lace handkerchief twitched in her fingers. When the clock struck six,
|
|
he got up and went to the door. Then he turned back and looked at her.
|
|
Their eyes met. In hers he saw a wild appeal for mercy. It enraged
|
|
him.
|
|
|
|
"Mother, I have something to ask you," he said. Her eyes wandered
|
|
vaguely about the room. She made no answer. "Tell me the truth. I
|
|
have a right to know. Were you married to my father?"
|
|
|
|
She heaved a deep sigh. It was a sigh of relief. The terrible moment,
|
|
the moment that night and day, for weeks and months, she had dreaded,
|
|
had come at last, and yet she felt no terror. Indeed, in some measure
|
|
it was a disappointment to her. The vulgar directness of the question
|
|
called for a direct answer. The situation had not been gradually led
|
|
up to. It was crude. It reminded her of a bad rehearsal.
|
|
|
|
"No," she answered, wondering at the harsh simplicity of life.
|
|
|
|
"My father was a scoundrel then!" cried the lad, clenching his fists.
|
|
|
|
She shook her head. "I knew he was not free. We loved each other very
|
|
much. If he had lived, he would have made provision for us. Don't
|
|
speak against him, my son. He was your father, and a gentleman.
|
|
Indeed, he was highly connected."
|
|
|
|
An oath broke from his lips. "I don't care for myself," he exclaimed,
|
|
"but don't let Sibyl.... It is a gentleman, isn't it, who is in love
|
|
with her, or says he is? Highly connected, too, I suppose."
|
|
|
|
For a moment a hideous sense of humiliation came over the woman. Her
|
|
head drooped. She wiped her eyes with shaking hands. "Sibyl has a
|
|
mother," she murmured; "I had none."
|
|
|
|
The lad was touched. He went towards her, and stooping down, he kissed
|
|
her. "I am sorry if I have pained you by asking about my father," he
|
|
said, "but I could not help it. I must go now. Good-bye. Don't forget
|
|
that you will have only one child now to look after, and believe me
|
|
that if this man wrongs my sister, I will find out who he is, track him
|
|
down, and kill him like a dog. I swear it."
|
|
|
|
The exaggerated folly of the threat, the passionate gesture that
|
|
accompanied it, the mad melodramatic words, made life seem more vivid
|
|
to her. She was familiar with the atmosphere. She breathed more
|
|
freely, and for the first time for many months she really admired her
|
|
son. She would have liked to have continued the scene on the same
|
|
emotional scale, but he cut her short. Trunks had to be carried down
|
|
and mufflers looked for. The lodging-house drudge bustled in and out.
|
|
There was the bargaining with the cabman. The moment was lost in
|
|
vulgar details. It was with a renewed feeling of disappointment that
|
|
she waved the tattered lace handkerchief from the window, as her son
|
|
drove away. She was conscious that a great opportunity had been
|
|
wasted. She consoled herself by telling Sibyl how desolate she felt
|
|
her life would be, now that she had only one child to look after. She
|
|
remembered the phrase. It had pleased her. Of the threat she said
|
|
nothing. It was vividly and dramatically expressed. She felt that
|
|
they would all laugh at it some day.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 6
|
|
|
|
"I suppose you have heard the news, Basil?" said Lord Henry that
|
|
evening as Hallward was shown into a little private room at the Bristol
|
|
where dinner had been laid for three.
|
|
|
|
"No, Harry," answered the artist, giving his hat and coat to the bowing
|
|
waiter. "What is it? Nothing about politics, I hope! They don't
|
|
interest me. There is hardly a single person in the House of Commons
|
|
worth painting, though many of them would be the better for a little
|
|
whitewashing."
|
|
|
|
"Dorian Gray is engaged to be married," said Lord Henry, watching him
|
|
as he spoke.
|
|
|
|
Hallward started and then frowned. "Dorian engaged to be married!" he
|
|
cried. "Impossible!"
|
|
|
|
"It is perfectly true."
|
|
|
|
"To whom?"
|
|
|
|
"To some little actress or other."
|
|
|
|
"I can't believe it. Dorian is far too sensible."
|
|
|
|
"Dorian is far too wise not to do foolish things now and then, my dear
|
|
Basil."
|
|
|
|
"Marriage is hardly a thing that one can do now and then, Harry."
|
|
|
|
"Except in America," rejoined Lord Henry languidly. "But I didn't say
|
|
he was married. I said he was engaged to be married. There is a great
|
|
difference. I have a distinct remembrance of being married, but I have
|
|
no recollection at all of being engaged. I am inclined to think that I
|
|
never was engaged."
|
|
|
|
"But think of Dorian's birth, and position, and wealth. It would be
|
|
absurd for him to marry so much beneath him."
|
|
|
|
"If you want to make him marry this girl, tell him that, Basil. He is
|
|
sure to do it, then. Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it
|
|
is always from the noblest motives."
|
|
|
|
"I hope the girl is good, Harry. I don't want to see Dorian tied to
|
|
some vile creature, who might degrade his nature and ruin his
|
|
intellect."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, she is better than good--she is beautiful," murmured Lord Henry,
|
|
sipping a glass of vermouth and orange-bitters. "Dorian says she is
|
|
beautiful, and he is not often wrong about things of that kind. Your
|
|
portrait of him has quickened his appreciation of the personal
|
|
appearance of other people. It has had that excellent effect, amongst
|
|
others. We are to see her to-night, if that boy doesn't forget his
|
|
appointment."
|
|
|
|
"Are you serious?"
|
|
|
|
"Quite serious, Basil. I should be miserable if I thought I should
|
|
ever be more serious than I am at the present moment."
|
|
|
|
"But do you approve of it, Harry?" asked the painter, walking up and
|
|
down the room and biting his lip. "You can't approve of it, possibly.
|
|
It is some silly infatuation."
|
|
|
|
"I never approve, or disapprove, of anything now. It is an absurd
|
|
attitude to take towards life. We are not sent into the world to air
|
|
our moral prejudices. I never take any notice of what common people
|
|
say, and I never interfere with what charming people do. If a
|
|
personality fascinates me, whatever mode of expression that personality
|
|
selects is absolutely delightful to me. Dorian Gray falls in love with
|
|
a beautiful girl who acts Juliet, and proposes to marry her. Why not?
|
|
If he wedded Messalina, he would be none the less interesting. You
|
|
know I am not a champion of marriage. The real drawback to marriage is
|
|
that it makes one unselfish. And unselfish people are colourless.
|
|
They lack individuality. Still, there are certain temperaments that
|
|
marriage makes more complex. They retain their egotism, and add to it
|
|
many other egos. They are forced to have more than one life. They
|
|
become more highly organized, and to be highly organized is, I should
|
|
fancy, the object of man's existence. Besides, every experience is of
|
|
value, and whatever one may say against marriage, it is certainly an
|
|
experience. I hope that Dorian Gray will make this girl his wife,
|
|
passionately adore her for six months, and then suddenly become
|
|
fascinated by some one else. He would be a wonderful study."
|
|
|
|
"You don't mean a single word of all that, Harry; you know you don't.
|
|
If Dorian Gray's life were spoiled, no one would be sorrier than
|
|
yourself. You are much better than you pretend to be."
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry laughed. "The reason we all like to think so well of others
|
|
is that we are all afraid for ourselves. The basis of optimism is
|
|
sheer terror. We think that we are generous because we credit our
|
|
neighbour with the possession of those virtues that are likely to be a
|
|
benefit to us. We praise the banker that we may overdraw our account,
|
|
and find good qualities in the highwayman in the hope that he may spare
|
|
our pockets. I mean everything that I have said. I have the greatest
|
|
contempt for optimism. As for a spoiled life, no life is spoiled but
|
|
one whose growth is arrested. If you want to mar a nature, you have
|
|
merely to reform it. As for marriage, of course that would be silly,
|
|
but there are other and more interesting bonds between men and women.
|
|
I will certainly encourage them. They have the charm of being
|
|
fashionable. But here is Dorian himself. He will tell you more than I
|
|
can."
|
|
|
|
"My dear Harry, my dear Basil, you must both congratulate me!" said the
|
|
lad, throwing off his evening cape with its satin-lined wings and
|
|
shaking each of his friends by the hand in turn. "I have never been so
|
|
happy. Of course, it is sudden--all really delightful things are. And
|
|
yet it seems to me to be the one thing I have been looking for all my
|
|
life." He was flushed with excitement and pleasure, and looked
|
|
extraordinarily handsome.
|
|
|
|
"I hope you will always be very happy, Dorian," said Hallward, "but I
|
|
don't quite forgive you for not having let me know of your engagement.
|
|
You let Harry know."
|
|
|
|
"And I don't forgive you for being late for dinner," broke in Lord
|
|
Henry, putting his hand on the lad's shoulder and smiling as he spoke.
|
|
"Come, let us sit down and try what the new _chef_ here is like, and then
|
|
you will tell us how it all came about."
|
|
|
|
"There is really not much to tell," cried Dorian as they took their
|
|
seats at the small round table. "What happened was simply this. After
|
|
I left you yesterday evening, Harry, I dressed, had some dinner at that
|
|
little Italian restaurant in Rupert Street you introduced me to, and
|
|
went down at eight o'clock to the theatre. Sibyl was playing Rosalind.
|
|
Of course, the scenery was dreadful and the Orlando absurd. But Sibyl!
|
|
You should have seen her! When she came on in her boy's clothes, she
|
|
was perfectly wonderful. She wore a moss-coloured velvet jerkin with
|
|
cinnamon sleeves, slim, brown, cross-gartered hose, a dainty little
|
|
green cap with a hawk's feather caught in a jewel, and a hooded cloak
|
|
lined with dull red. She had never seemed to me more exquisite. She
|
|
had all the delicate grace of that Tanagra figurine that you have in
|
|
your studio, Basil. Her hair clustered round her face like dark leaves
|
|
round a pale rose. As for her acting--well, you shall see her
|
|
to-night. She is simply a born artist. I sat in the dingy box
|
|
absolutely enthralled. I forgot that I was in London and in the
|
|
nineteenth century. I was away with my love in a forest that no man
|
|
had ever seen. After the performance was over, I went behind and spoke
|
|
to her. As we were sitting together, suddenly there came into her eyes
|
|
a look that I had never seen there before. My lips moved towards hers.
|
|
We kissed each other. I can't describe to you what I felt at that
|
|
moment. It seemed to me that all my life had been narrowed to one
|
|
perfect point of rose-coloured joy. She trembled all over and shook
|
|
like a white narcissus. Then she flung herself on her knees and kissed
|
|
my hands. I feel that I should not tell you all this, but I can't help
|
|
it. Of course, our engagement is a dead secret. She has not even told
|
|
her own mother. I don't know what my guardians will say. Lord Radley
|
|
is sure to be furious. I don't care. I shall be of age in less than a
|
|
year, and then I can do what I like. I have been right, Basil, haven't
|
|
I, to take my love out of poetry and to find my wife in Shakespeare's
|
|
plays? Lips that Shakespeare taught to speak have whispered their
|
|
secret in my ear. I have had the arms of Rosalind around me, and
|
|
kissed Juliet on the mouth."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, Dorian, I suppose you were right," said Hallward slowly.
|
|
|
|
"Have you seen her to-day?" asked Lord Henry.
|
|
|
|
Dorian Gray shook his head. "I left her in the forest of Arden; I
|
|
shall find her in an orchard in Verona."
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry sipped his champagne in a meditative manner. "At what
|
|
particular point did you mention the word marriage, Dorian? And what
|
|
did she say in answer? Perhaps you forgot all about it."
|
|
|
|
"My dear Harry, I did not treat it as a business transaction, and I did
|
|
not make any formal proposal. I told her that I loved her, and she
|
|
said she was not worthy to be my wife. Not worthy! Why, the whole
|
|
world is nothing to me compared with her."
|
|
|
|
"Women are wonderfully practical," murmured Lord Henry, "much more
|
|
practical than we are. In situations of that kind we often forget to
|
|
say anything about marriage, and they always remind us."
|
|
|
|
Hallward laid his hand upon his arm. "Don't, Harry. You have annoyed
|
|
Dorian. He is not like other men. He would never bring misery upon
|
|
any one. His nature is too fine for that."
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry looked across the table. "Dorian is never annoyed with me,"
|
|
he answered. "I asked the question for the best reason possible, for
|
|
the only reason, indeed, that excuses one for asking any
|
|
question--simple curiosity. I have a theory that it is always the
|
|
women who propose to us, and not we who propose to the women. Except,
|
|
of course, in middle-class life. But then the middle classes are not
|
|
modern."
|
|
|
|
Dorian Gray laughed, and tossed his head. "You are quite incorrigible,
|
|
Harry; but I don't mind. It is impossible to be angry with you. When
|
|
you see Sibyl Vane, you will feel that the man who could wrong her
|
|
would be a beast, a beast without a heart. I cannot understand how any
|
|
one can wish to shame the thing he loves. I love Sibyl Vane. I want
|
|
to place her on a pedestal of gold and to see the world worship the
|
|
woman who is mine. What is marriage? An irrevocable vow. You mock at
|
|
it for that. Ah! don't mock. It is an irrevocable vow that I want to
|
|
take. Her trust makes me faithful, her belief makes me good. When I
|
|
am with her, I regret all that you have taught me. I become different
|
|
from what you have known me to be. I am changed, and the mere touch of
|
|
Sibyl Vane's hand makes me forget you and all your wrong, fascinating,
|
|
poisonous, delightful theories."
|
|
|
|
"And those are ...?" asked Lord Henry, helping himself to some salad.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, your theories about life, your theories about love, your theories
|
|
about pleasure. All your theories, in fact, Harry."
|
|
|
|
"Pleasure is the only thing worth having a theory about," he answered
|
|
in his slow melodious voice. "But I am afraid I cannot claim my theory
|
|
as my own. It belongs to Nature, not to me. Pleasure is Nature's
|
|
test, her sign of approval. When we are happy, we are always good, but
|
|
when we are good, we are not always happy."
|
|
|
|
"Ah! but what do you mean by good?" cried Basil Hallward.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," echoed Dorian, leaning back in his chair and looking at Lord
|
|
Henry over the heavy clusters of purple-lipped irises that stood in the
|
|
centre of the table, "what do you mean by good, Harry?"
|
|
|
|
"To be good is to be in harmony with one's self," he replied, touching
|
|
the thin stem of his glass with his pale, fine-pointed fingers.
|
|
"Discord is to be forced to be in harmony with others. One's own
|
|
life--that is the important thing. As for the lives of one's
|
|
neighbours, if one wishes to be a prig or a Puritan, one can flaunt
|
|
one's moral views about them, but they are not one's concern. Besides,
|
|
individualism has really the higher aim. Modern morality consists in
|
|
accepting the standard of one's age. I consider that for any man of
|
|
culture to accept the standard of his age is a form of the grossest
|
|
immorality."
|
|
|
|
"But, surely, if one lives merely for one's self, Harry, one pays a
|
|
terrible price for doing so?" suggested the painter.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, we are overcharged for everything nowadays. I should fancy that
|
|
the real tragedy of the poor is that they can afford nothing but
|
|
self-denial. Beautiful sins, like beautiful things, are the privilege
|
|
of the rich."
|
|
|
|
"One has to pay in other ways but money."
|
|
|
|
"What sort of ways, Basil?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh! I should fancy in remorse, in suffering, in ... well, in the
|
|
consciousness of degradation."
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry shrugged his shoulders. "My dear fellow, mediaeval art is
|
|
charming, but mediaeval emotions are out of date. One can use them in
|
|
fiction, of course. But then the only things that one can use in
|
|
fiction are the things that one has ceased to use in fact. Believe me,
|
|
no civilized man ever regrets a pleasure, and no uncivilized man ever
|
|
knows what a pleasure is."
|
|
|
|
"I know what pleasure is," cried Dorian Gray. "It is to adore some
|
|
one."
|
|
|
|
"That is certainly better than being adored," he answered, toying with
|
|
some fruits. "Being adored is a nuisance. Women treat us just as
|
|
humanity treats its gods. They worship us, and are always bothering us
|
|
to do something for them."
|
|
|
|
"I should have said that whatever they ask for they had first given to
|
|
us," murmured the lad gravely. "They create love in our natures. They
|
|
have a right to demand it back."
|
|
|
|
"That is quite true, Dorian," cried Hallward.
|
|
|
|
"Nothing is ever quite true," said Lord Henry.
|
|
|
|
"This is," interrupted Dorian. "You must admit, Harry, that women give
|
|
to men the very gold of their lives."
|
|
|
|
"Possibly," he sighed, "but they invariably want it back in such very
|
|
small change. That is the worry. Women, as some witty Frenchman once
|
|
put it, inspire us with the desire to do masterpieces and always
|
|
prevent us from carrying them out."
|
|
|
|
"Harry, you are dreadful! I don't know why I like you so much."
|
|
|
|
"You will always like me, Dorian," he replied. "Will you have some
|
|
coffee, you fellows? Waiter, bring coffee, and _fine-champagne_, and
|
|
some cigarettes. No, don't mind the cigarettes--I have some. Basil, I
|
|
can't allow you to smoke cigars. You must have a cigarette. A
|
|
cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite,
|
|
and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one want? Yes, Dorian,
|
|
you will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you
|
|
have never had the courage to commit."
|
|
|
|
"What nonsense you talk, Harry!" cried the lad, taking a light from a
|
|
fire-breathing silver dragon that the waiter had placed on the table.
|
|
"Let us go down to the theatre. When Sibyl comes on the stage you will
|
|
have a new ideal of life. She will represent something to you that you
|
|
have never known."
|
|
|
|
"I have known everything," said Lord Henry, with a tired look in his
|
|
eyes, "but I am always ready for a new emotion. I am afraid, however,
|
|
that, for me at any rate, there is no such thing. Still, your
|
|
wonderful girl may thrill me. I love acting. It is so much more real
|
|
than life. Let us go. Dorian, you will come with me. I am so sorry,
|
|
Basil, but there is only room for two in the brougham. You must follow
|
|
us in a hansom."
|
|
|
|
They got up and put on their coats, sipping their coffee standing. The
|
|
painter was silent and preoccupied. There was a gloom over him. He
|
|
could not bear this marriage, and yet it seemed to him to be better
|
|
than many other things that might have happened. After a few minutes,
|
|
they all passed downstairs. He drove off by himself, as had been
|
|
arranged, and watched the flashing lights of the little brougham in
|
|
front of him. A strange sense of loss came over him. He felt that
|
|
Dorian Gray would never again be to him all that he had been in the
|
|
past. Life had come between them.... His eyes darkened, and the
|
|
crowded flaring streets became blurred to his eyes. When the cab drew
|
|
up at the theatre, it seemed to him that he had grown years older.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 7
|
|
|
|
For some reason or other, the house was crowded that night, and the fat
|
|
Jew manager who met them at the door was beaming from ear to ear with
|
|
an oily tremulous smile. He escorted them to their box with a sort of
|
|
pompous humility, waving his fat jewelled hands and talking at the top
|
|
of his voice. Dorian Gray loathed him more than ever. He felt as if
|
|
he had come to look for Miranda and had been met by Caliban. Lord
|
|
Henry, upon the other hand, rather liked him. At least he declared he
|
|
did, and insisted on shaking him by the hand and assuring him that he
|
|
was proud to meet a man who had discovered a real genius and gone
|
|
bankrupt over a poet. Hallward amused himself with watching the faces
|
|
in the pit. The heat was terribly oppressive, and the huge sunlight
|
|
flamed like a monstrous dahlia with petals of yellow fire. The youths
|
|
in the gallery had taken off their coats and waistcoats and hung them
|
|
over the side. They talked to each other across the theatre and shared
|
|
their oranges with the tawdry girls who sat beside them. Some women
|
|
were laughing in the pit. Their voices were horribly shrill and
|
|
discordant. The sound of the popping of corks came from the bar.
|
|
|
|
"What a place to find one's divinity in!" said Lord Henry.
|
|
|
|
"Yes!" answered Dorian Gray. "It was here I found her, and she is
|
|
divine beyond all living things. When she acts, you will forget
|
|
everything. These common rough people, with their coarse faces and
|
|
brutal gestures, become quite different when she is on the stage. They
|
|
sit silently and watch her. They weep and laugh as she wills them to
|
|
do. She makes them as responsive as a violin. She spiritualizes them,
|
|
and one feels that they are of the same flesh and blood as one's self."
|
|
|
|
"The same flesh and blood as one's self! Oh, I hope not!" exclaimed
|
|
Lord Henry, who was scanning the occupants of the gallery through his
|
|
opera-glass.
|
|
|
|
"Don't pay any attention to him, Dorian," said the painter. "I
|
|
understand what you mean, and I believe in this girl. Any one you love
|
|
must be marvellous, and any girl who has the effect you describe must
|
|
be fine and noble. To spiritualize one's age--that is something worth
|
|
doing. If this girl can give a soul to those who have lived without
|
|
one, if she can create the sense of beauty in people whose lives have
|
|
been sordid and ugly, if she can strip them of their selfishness and
|
|
lend them tears for sorrows that are not their own, she is worthy of
|
|
all your adoration, worthy of the adoration of the world. This
|
|
marriage is quite right. I did not think so at first, but I admit it
|
|
now. The gods made Sibyl Vane for you. Without her you would have
|
|
been incomplete."
|
|
|
|
"Thanks, Basil," answered Dorian Gray, pressing his hand. "I knew that
|
|
you would understand me. Harry is so cynical, he terrifies me. But
|
|
here is the orchestra. It is quite dreadful, but it only lasts for
|
|
about five minutes. Then the curtain rises, and you will see the girl
|
|
to whom I am going to give all my life, to whom I have given everything
|
|
that is good in me."
|
|
|
|
A quarter of an hour afterwards, amidst an extraordinary turmoil of
|
|
applause, Sibyl Vane stepped on to the stage. Yes, she was certainly
|
|
lovely to look at--one of the loveliest creatures, Lord Henry thought,
|
|
that he had ever seen. There was something of the fawn in her shy
|
|
grace and startled eyes. A faint blush, like the shadow of a rose in a
|
|
mirror of silver, came to her cheeks as she glanced at the crowded
|
|
enthusiastic house. She stepped back a few paces and her lips seemed
|
|
to tremble. Basil Hallward leaped to his feet and began to applaud.
|
|
Motionless, and as one in a dream, sat Dorian Gray, gazing at her.
|
|
Lord Henry peered through his glasses, murmuring, "Charming! charming!"
|
|
|
|
The scene was the hall of Capulet's house, and Romeo in his pilgrim's
|
|
dress had entered with Mercutio and his other friends. The band, such
|
|
as it was, struck up a few bars of music, and the dance began. Through
|
|
the crowd of ungainly, shabbily dressed actors, Sibyl Vane moved like a
|
|
creature from a finer world. Her body swayed, while she danced, as a
|
|
plant sways in the water. The curves of her throat were the curves of
|
|
a white lily. Her hands seemed to be made of cool ivory.
|
|
|
|
Yet she was curiously listless. She showed no sign of joy when her
|
|
eyes rested on Romeo. The few words she had to speak--
|
|
|
|
Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,
|
|
Which mannerly devotion shows in this;
|
|
For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch,
|
|
And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss--
|
|
|
|
with the brief dialogue that follows, were spoken in a thoroughly
|
|
artificial manner. The voice was exquisite, but from the point of view
|
|
of tone it was absolutely false. It was wrong in colour. It took away
|
|
all the life from the verse. It made the passion unreal.
|
|
|
|
Dorian Gray grew pale as he watched her. He was puzzled and anxious.
|
|
Neither of his friends dared to say anything to him. She seemed to
|
|
them to be absolutely incompetent. They were horribly disappointed.
|
|
|
|
Yet they felt that the true test of any Juliet is the balcony scene of
|
|
the second act. They waited for that. If she failed there, there was
|
|
nothing in her.
|
|
|
|
She looked charming as she came out in the moonlight. That could not
|
|
be denied. But the staginess of her acting was unbearable, and grew
|
|
worse as she went on. Her gestures became absurdly artificial. She
|
|
overemphasized everything that she had to say. The beautiful passage--
|
|
|
|
Thou knowest the mask of night is on my face,
|
|
Else would a maiden blush bepaint my cheek
|
|
For that which thou hast heard me speak to-night--
|
|
|
|
was declaimed with the painful precision of a schoolgirl who has been
|
|
taught to recite by some second-rate professor of elocution. When she
|
|
leaned over the balcony and came to those wonderful lines--
|
|
|
|
Although I joy in thee,
|
|
I have no joy of this contract to-night:
|
|
It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden;
|
|
Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be
|
|
Ere one can say, "It lightens." Sweet, good-night!
|
|
This bud of love by summer's ripening breath
|
|
May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet--
|
|
|
|
she spoke the words as though they conveyed no meaning to her. It was
|
|
not nervousness. Indeed, so far from being nervous, she was absolutely
|
|
self-contained. It was simply bad art. She was a complete failure.
|
|
|
|
Even the common uneducated audience of the pit and gallery lost their
|
|
interest in the play. They got restless, and began to talk loudly and
|
|
to whistle. The Jew manager, who was standing at the back of the
|
|
dress-circle, stamped and swore with rage. The only person unmoved was
|
|
the girl herself.
|
|
|
|
When the second act was over, there came a storm of hisses, and Lord
|
|
Henry got up from his chair and put on his coat. "She is quite
|
|
beautiful, Dorian," he said, "but she can't act. Let us go."
|
|
|
|
"I am going to see the play through," answered the lad, in a hard
|
|
bitter voice. "I am awfully sorry that I have made you waste an
|
|
evening, Harry. I apologize to you both."
|
|
|
|
"My dear Dorian, I should think Miss Vane was ill," interrupted
|
|
Hallward. "We will come some other night."
|
|
|
|
"I wish she were ill," he rejoined. "But she seems to me to be simply
|
|
callous and cold. She has entirely altered. Last night she was a
|
|
great artist. This evening she is merely a commonplace mediocre
|
|
actress."
|
|
|
|
"Don't talk like that about any one you love, Dorian. Love is a more
|
|
wonderful thing than art."
|
|
|
|
"They are both simply forms of imitation," remarked Lord Henry. "But
|
|
do let us go. Dorian, you must not stay here any longer. It is not
|
|
good for one's morals to see bad acting. Besides, I don't suppose you
|
|
will want your wife to act, so what does it matter if she plays Juliet
|
|
like a wooden doll? She is very lovely, and if she knows as little
|
|
about life as she does about acting, she will be a delightful
|
|
experience. There are only two kinds of people who are really
|
|
fascinating--people who know absolutely everything, and people who know
|
|
absolutely nothing. Good heavens, my dear boy, don't look so tragic!
|
|
The secret of remaining young is never to have an emotion that is
|
|
unbecoming. Come to the club with Basil and myself. We will smoke
|
|
cigarettes and drink to the beauty of Sibyl Vane. She is beautiful.
|
|
What more can you want?"
|
|
|
|
"Go away, Harry," cried the lad. "I want to be alone. Basil, you must
|
|
go. Ah! can't you see that my heart is breaking?" The hot tears came
|
|
to his eyes. His lips trembled, and rushing to the back of the box, he
|
|
leaned up against the wall, hiding his face in his hands.
|
|
|
|
"Let us go, Basil," said Lord Henry with a strange tenderness in his
|
|
voice, and the two young men passed out together.
|
|
|
|
A few moments afterwards the footlights flared up and the curtain rose
|
|
on the third act. Dorian Gray went back to his seat. He looked pale,
|
|
and proud, and indifferent. The play dragged on, and seemed
|
|
interminable. Half of the audience went out, tramping in heavy boots
|
|
and laughing. The whole thing was a _fiasco_. The last act was played
|
|
to almost empty benches. The curtain went down on a titter and some
|
|
groans.
|
|
|
|
As soon as it was over, Dorian Gray rushed behind the scenes into the
|
|
greenroom. The girl was standing there alone, with a look of triumph
|
|
on her face. Her eyes were lit with an exquisite fire. There was a
|
|
radiance about her. Her parted lips were smiling over some secret of
|
|
their own.
|
|
|
|
When he entered, she looked at him, and an expression of infinite joy
|
|
came over her. "How badly I acted to-night, Dorian!" she cried.
|
|
|
|
"Horribly!" he answered, gazing at her in amazement. "Horribly! It
|
|
was dreadful. Are you ill? You have no idea what it was. You have no
|
|
idea what I suffered."
|
|
|
|
The girl smiled. "Dorian," she answered, lingering over his name with
|
|
long-drawn music in her voice, as though it were sweeter than honey to
|
|
the red petals of her mouth. "Dorian, you should have understood. But
|
|
you understand now, don't you?"
|
|
|
|
"Understand what?" he asked, angrily.
|
|
|
|
"Why I was so bad to-night. Why I shall always be bad. Why I shall
|
|
never act well again."
|
|
|
|
He shrugged his shoulders. "You are ill, I suppose. When you are ill
|
|
you shouldn't act. You make yourself ridiculous. My friends were
|
|
bored. I was bored."
|
|
|
|
She seemed not to listen to him. She was transfigured with joy. An
|
|
ecstasy of happiness dominated her.
|
|
|
|
"Dorian, Dorian," she cried, "before I knew you, acting was the one
|
|
reality of my life. It was only in the theatre that I lived. I
|
|
thought that it was all true. I was Rosalind one night and Portia the
|
|
other. The joy of Beatrice was my joy, and the sorrows of Cordelia
|
|
were mine also. I believed in everything. The common people who acted
|
|
with me seemed to me to be godlike. The painted scenes were my world.
|
|
I knew nothing but shadows, and I thought them real. You came--oh, my
|
|
beautiful love!--and you freed my soul from prison. You taught me what
|
|
reality really is. To-night, for the first time in my life, I saw
|
|
through the hollowness, the sham, the silliness of the empty pageant in
|
|
which I had always played. To-night, for the first time, I became
|
|
conscious that the Romeo was hideous, and old, and painted, that the
|
|
moonlight in the orchard was false, that the scenery was vulgar, and
|
|
that the words I had to speak were unreal, were not my words, were not
|
|
what I wanted to say. You had brought me something higher, something
|
|
of which all art is but a reflection. You had made me understand what
|
|
love really is. My love! My love! Prince Charming! Prince of life!
|
|
I have grown sick of shadows. You are more to me than all art can ever
|
|
be. What have I to do with the puppets of a play? When I came on
|
|
to-night, I could not understand how it was that everything had gone
|
|
from me. I thought that I was going to be wonderful. I found that I
|
|
could do nothing. Suddenly it dawned on my soul what it all meant.
|
|
The knowledge was exquisite to me. I heard them hissing, and I smiled.
|
|
What could they know of love such as ours? Take me away, Dorian--take
|
|
me away with you, where we can be quite alone. I hate the stage. I
|
|
might mimic a passion that I do not feel, but I cannot mimic one that
|
|
burns me like fire. Oh, Dorian, Dorian, you understand now what it
|
|
signifies? Even if I could do it, it would be profanation for me to
|
|
play at being in love. You have made me see that."
|
|
|
|
He flung himself down on the sofa and turned away his face. "You have
|
|
killed my love," he muttered.
|
|
|
|
She looked at him in wonder and laughed. He made no answer. She came
|
|
across to him, and with her little fingers stroked his hair. She knelt
|
|
down and pressed his hands to her lips. He drew them away, and a
|
|
shudder ran through him.
|
|
|
|
Then he leaped up and went to the door. "Yes," he cried, "you have
|
|
killed my love. You used to stir my imagination. Now you don't even
|
|
stir my curiosity. You simply produce no effect. I loved you because
|
|
you were marvellous, because you had genius and intellect, because you
|
|
realized the dreams of great poets and gave shape and substance to the
|
|
shadows of art. You have thrown it all away. You are shallow and
|
|
stupid. My God! how mad I was to love you! What a fool I have been!
|
|
You are nothing to me now. I will never see you again. I will never
|
|
think of you. I will never mention your name. You don't know what you
|
|
were to me, once. Why, once ... Oh, I can't bear to think of it! I
|
|
wish I had never laid eyes upon you! You have spoiled the romance of
|
|
my life. How little you can know of love, if you say it mars your art!
|
|
Without your art, you are nothing. I would have made you famous,
|
|
splendid, magnificent. The world would have worshipped you, and you
|
|
would have borne my name. What are you now? A third-rate actress with
|
|
a pretty face."
|
|
|
|
The girl grew white, and trembled. She clenched her hands together,
|
|
and her voice seemed to catch in her throat. "You are not serious,
|
|
Dorian?" she murmured. "You are acting."
|
|
|
|
"Acting! I leave that to you. You do it so well," he answered
|
|
bitterly.
|
|
|
|
She rose from her knees and, with a piteous expression of pain in her
|
|
face, came across the room to him. She put her hand upon his arm and
|
|
looked into his eyes. He thrust her back. "Don't touch me!" he cried.
|
|
|
|
A low moan broke from her, and she flung herself at his feet and lay
|
|
there like a trampled flower. "Dorian, Dorian, don't leave me!" she
|
|
whispered. "I am so sorry I didn't act well. I was thinking of you
|
|
all the time. But I will try--indeed, I will try. It came so suddenly
|
|
across me, my love for you. I think I should never have known it if
|
|
you had not kissed me--if we had not kissed each other. Kiss me again,
|
|
my love. Don't go away from me. I couldn't bear it. Oh! don't go
|
|
away from me. My brother ... No; never mind. He didn't mean it. He
|
|
was in jest.... But you, oh! can't you forgive me for to-night? I will
|
|
work so hard and try to improve. Don't be cruel to me, because I love
|
|
you better than anything in the world. After all, it is only once that
|
|
I have not pleased you. But you are quite right, Dorian. I should
|
|
have shown myself more of an artist. It was foolish of me, and yet I
|
|
couldn't help it. Oh, don't leave me, don't leave me." A fit of
|
|
passionate sobbing choked her. She crouched on the floor like a
|
|
wounded thing, and Dorian Gray, with his beautiful eyes, looked down at
|
|
her, and his chiselled lips curled in exquisite disdain. There is
|
|
always something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one has
|
|
ceased to love. Sibyl Vane seemed to him to be absurdly melodramatic.
|
|
Her tears and sobs annoyed him.
|
|
|
|
"I am going," he said at last in his calm clear voice. "I don't wish
|
|
to be unkind, but I can't see you again. You have disappointed me."
|
|
|
|
She wept silently, and made no answer, but crept nearer. Her little
|
|
hands stretched blindly out, and appeared to be seeking for him. He
|
|
turned on his heel and left the room. In a few moments he was out of
|
|
the theatre.
|
|
|
|
Where he went to he hardly knew. He remembered wandering through dimly
|
|
lit streets, past gaunt, black-shadowed archways and evil-looking
|
|
houses. Women with hoarse voices and harsh laughter had called after
|
|
him. Drunkards had reeled by, cursing and chattering to themselves
|
|
like monstrous apes. He had seen grotesque children huddled upon
|
|
door-steps, and heard shrieks and oaths from gloomy courts.
|
|
|
|
As the dawn was just breaking, he found himself close to Covent Garden.
|
|
The darkness lifted, and, flushed with faint fires, the sky hollowed
|
|
itself into a perfect pearl. Huge carts filled with nodding lilies
|
|
rumbled slowly down the polished empty street. The air was heavy with
|
|
the perfume of the flowers, and their beauty seemed to bring him an
|
|
anodyne for his pain. He followed into the market and watched the men
|
|
unloading their waggons. A white-smocked carter offered him some
|
|
cherries. He thanked him, wondered why he refused to accept any money
|
|
for them, and began to eat them listlessly. They had been plucked at
|
|
midnight, and the coldness of the moon had entered into them. A long
|
|
line of boys carrying crates of striped tulips, and of yellow and red
|
|
roses, defiled in front of him, threading their way through the huge,
|
|
jade-green piles of vegetables. Under the portico, with its grey,
|
|
sun-bleached pillars, loitered a troop of draggled bareheaded girls,
|
|
waiting for the auction to be over. Others crowded round the swinging
|
|
doors of the coffee-house in the piazza. The heavy cart-horses slipped
|
|
and stamped upon the rough stones, shaking their bells and trappings.
|
|
Some of the drivers were lying asleep on a pile of sacks. Iris-necked
|
|
and pink-footed, the pigeons ran about picking up seeds.
|
|
|
|
After a little while, he hailed a hansom and drove home. For a few
|
|
moments he loitered upon the doorstep, looking round at the silent
|
|
square, with its blank, close-shuttered windows and its staring blinds.
|
|
The sky was pure opal now, and the roofs of the houses glistened like
|
|
silver against it. From some chimney opposite a thin wreath of smoke
|
|
was rising. It curled, a violet riband, through the nacre-coloured air.
|
|
|
|
In the huge gilt Venetian lantern, spoil of some Doge's barge, that
|
|
hung from the ceiling of the great, oak-panelled hall of entrance,
|
|
lights were still burning from three flickering jets: thin blue petals
|
|
of flame they seemed, rimmed with white fire. He turned them out and,
|
|
having thrown his hat and cape on the table, passed through the library
|
|
towards the door of his bedroom, a large octagonal chamber on the
|
|
ground floor that, in his new-born feeling for luxury, he had just had
|
|
decorated for himself and hung with some curious Renaissance tapestries
|
|
that had been discovered stored in a disused attic at Selby Royal. As
|
|
he was turning the handle of the door, his eye fell upon the portrait
|
|
Basil Hallward had painted of him. He started back as if in surprise.
|
|
Then he went on into his own room, looking somewhat puzzled. After he
|
|
had taken the button-hole out of his coat, he seemed to hesitate.
|
|
Finally, he came back, went over to the picture, and examined it. In
|
|
the dim arrested light that struggled through the cream-coloured silk
|
|
blinds, the face appeared to him to be a little changed. The
|
|
expression looked different. One would have said that there was a
|
|
touch of cruelty in the mouth. It was certainly strange.
|
|
|
|
He turned round and, walking to the window, drew up the blind. The
|
|
bright dawn flooded the room and swept the fantastic shadows into dusky
|
|
corners, where they lay shuddering. But the strange expression that he
|
|
had noticed in the face of the portrait seemed to linger there, to be
|
|
more intensified even. The quivering ardent sunlight showed him the
|
|
lines of cruelty round the mouth as clearly as if he had been looking
|
|
into a mirror after he had done some dreadful thing.
|
|
|
|
He winced and, taking up from the table an oval glass framed in ivory
|
|
Cupids, one of Lord Henry's many presents to him, glanced hurriedly
|
|
into its polished depths. No line like that warped his red lips. What
|
|
did it mean?
|
|
|
|
He rubbed his eyes, and came close to the picture, and examined it
|
|
again. There were no signs of any change when he looked into the
|
|
actual painting, and yet there was no doubt that the whole expression
|
|
had altered. It was not a mere fancy of his own. The thing was
|
|
horribly apparent.
|
|
|
|
He threw himself into a chair and began to think. Suddenly there
|
|
flashed across his mind what he had said in Basil Hallward's studio the
|
|
day the picture had been finished. Yes, he remembered it perfectly.
|
|
He had uttered a mad wish that he himself might remain young, and the
|
|
portrait grow old; that his own beauty might be untarnished, and the
|
|
face on the canvas bear the burden of his passions and his sins; that
|
|
the painted image might be seared with the lines of suffering and
|
|
thought, and that he might keep all the delicate bloom and loveliness
|
|
of his then just conscious boyhood. Surely his wish had not been
|
|
fulfilled? Such things were impossible. It seemed monstrous even to
|
|
think of them. And, yet, there was the picture before him, with the
|
|
touch of cruelty in the mouth.
|
|
|
|
Cruelty! Had he been cruel? It was the girl's fault, not his. He had
|
|
dreamed of her as a great artist, had given his love to her because he
|
|
had thought her great. Then she had disappointed him. She had been
|
|
shallow and unworthy. And, yet, a feeling of infinite regret came over
|
|
him, as he thought of her lying at his feet sobbing like a little
|
|
child. He remembered with what callousness he had watched her. Why
|
|
had he been made like that? Why had such a soul been given to him?
|
|
But he had suffered also. During the three terrible hours that the
|
|
play had lasted, he had lived centuries of pain, aeon upon aeon of
|
|
torture. His life was well worth hers. She had marred him for a
|
|
moment, if he had wounded her for an age. Besides, women were better
|
|
suited to bear sorrow than men. They lived on their emotions. They
|
|
only thought of their emotions. When they took lovers, it was merely
|
|
to have some one with whom they could have scenes. Lord Henry had told
|
|
him that, and Lord Henry knew what women were. Why should he trouble
|
|
about Sibyl Vane? She was nothing to him now.
|
|
|
|
But the picture? What was he to say of that? It held the secret of
|
|
his life, and told his story. It had taught him to love his own
|
|
beauty. Would it teach him to loathe his own soul? Would he ever look
|
|
at it again?
|
|
|
|
No; it was merely an illusion wrought on the troubled senses. The
|
|
horrible night that he had passed had left phantoms behind it.
|
|
Suddenly there had fallen upon his brain that tiny scarlet speck that
|
|
makes men mad. The picture had not changed. It was folly to think so.
|
|
|
|
Yet it was watching him, with its beautiful marred face and its cruel
|
|
smile. Its bright hair gleamed in the early sunlight. Its blue eyes
|
|
met his own. A sense of infinite pity, not for himself, but for the
|
|
painted image of himself, came over him. It had altered already, and
|
|
would alter more. Its gold would wither into grey. Its red and white
|
|
roses would die. For every sin that he committed, a stain would fleck
|
|
and wreck its fairness. But he would not sin. The picture, changed or
|
|
unchanged, would be to him the visible emblem of conscience. He would
|
|
resist temptation. He would not see Lord Henry any more--would not, at
|
|
any rate, listen to those subtle poisonous theories that in Basil
|
|
Hallward's garden had first stirred within him the passion for
|
|
impossible things. He would go back to Sibyl Vane, make her amends,
|
|
marry her, try to love her again. Yes, it was his duty to do so. She
|
|
must have suffered more than he had. Poor child! He had been selfish
|
|
and cruel to her. The fascination that she had exercised over him
|
|
would return. They would be happy together. His life with her would
|
|
be beautiful and pure.
|
|
|
|
He got up from his chair and drew a large screen right in front of the
|
|
portrait, shuddering as he glanced at it. "How horrible!" he murmured
|
|
to himself, and he walked across to the window and opened it. When he
|
|
stepped out on to the grass, he drew a deep breath. The fresh morning
|
|
air seemed to drive away all his sombre passions. He thought only of
|
|
Sibyl. A faint echo of his love came back to him. He repeated her
|
|
name over and over again. The birds that were singing in the
|
|
dew-drenched garden seemed to be telling the flowers about her.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 8
|
|
|
|
It was long past noon when he awoke. His valet had crept several times
|
|
on tiptoe into the room to see if he was stirring, and had wondered
|
|
what made his young master sleep so late. Finally his bell sounded,
|
|
and Victor came in softly with a cup of tea, and a pile of letters, on
|
|
a small tray of old Sevres china, and drew back the olive-satin
|
|
curtains, with their shimmering blue lining, that hung in front of the
|
|
three tall windows.
|
|
|
|
"Monsieur has well slept this morning," he said, smiling.
|
|
|
|
"What o'clock is it, Victor?" asked Dorian Gray drowsily.
|
|
|
|
"One hour and a quarter, Monsieur."
|
|
|
|
How late it was! He sat up, and having sipped some tea, turned over
|
|
his letters. One of them was from Lord Henry, and had been brought by
|
|
hand that morning. He hesitated for a moment, and then put it aside.
|
|
The others he opened listlessly. They contained the usual collection
|
|
of cards, invitations to dinner, tickets for private views, programmes
|
|
of charity concerts, and the like that are showered on fashionable
|
|
young men every morning during the season. There was a rather heavy
|
|
bill for a chased silver Louis-Quinze toilet-set that he had not yet
|
|
had the courage to send on to his guardians, who were extremely
|
|
old-fashioned people and did not realize that we live in an age when
|
|
unnecessary things are our only necessities; and there were several
|
|
very courteously worded communications from Jermyn Street money-lenders
|
|
offering to advance any sum of money at a moment's notice and at the
|
|
most reasonable rates of interest.
|
|
|
|
After about ten minutes he got up, and throwing on an elaborate
|
|
dressing-gown of silk-embroidered cashmere wool, passed into the
|
|
onyx-paved bathroom. The cool water refreshed him after his long
|
|
sleep. He seemed to have forgotten all that he had gone through. A
|
|
dim sense of having taken part in some strange tragedy came to him once
|
|
or twice, but there was the unreality of a dream about it.
|
|
|
|
As soon as he was dressed, he went into the library and sat down to a
|
|
light French breakfast that had been laid out for him on a small round
|
|
table close to the open window. It was an exquisite day. The warm air
|
|
seemed laden with spices. A bee flew in and buzzed round the
|
|
blue-dragon bowl that, filled with sulphur-yellow roses, stood before
|
|
him. He felt perfectly happy.
|
|
|
|
Suddenly his eye fell on the screen that he had placed in front of the
|
|
portrait, and he started.
|
|
|
|
"Too cold for Monsieur?" asked his valet, putting an omelette on the
|
|
table. "I shut the window?"
|
|
|
|
Dorian shook his head. "I am not cold," he murmured.
|
|
|
|
Was it all true? Had the portrait really changed? Or had it been
|
|
simply his own imagination that had made him see a look of evil where
|
|
there had been a look of joy? Surely a painted canvas could not alter?
|
|
The thing was absurd. It would serve as a tale to tell Basil some day.
|
|
It would make him smile.
|
|
|
|
And, yet, how vivid was his recollection of the whole thing! First in
|
|
the dim twilight, and then in the bright dawn, he had seen the touch of
|
|
cruelty round the warped lips. He almost dreaded his valet leaving the
|
|
room. He knew that when he was alone he would have to examine the
|
|
portrait. He was afraid of certainty. When the coffee and cigarettes
|
|
had been brought and the man turned to go, he felt a wild desire to
|
|
tell him to remain. As the door was closing behind him, he called him
|
|
back. The man stood waiting for his orders. Dorian looked at him for
|
|
a moment. "I am not at home to any one, Victor," he said with a sigh.
|
|
The man bowed and retired.
|
|
|
|
Then he rose from the table, lit a cigarette, and flung himself down on
|
|
a luxuriously cushioned couch that stood facing the screen. The screen
|
|
was an old one, of gilt Spanish leather, stamped and wrought with a
|
|
rather florid Louis-Quatorze pattern. He scanned it curiously,
|
|
wondering if ever before it had concealed the secret of a man's life.
|
|
|
|
Should he move it aside, after all? Why not let it stay there? What
|
|
was the use of knowing? If the thing was true, it was terrible. If it
|
|
was not true, why trouble about it? But what if, by some fate or
|
|
deadlier chance, eyes other than his spied behind and saw the horrible
|
|
change? What should he do if Basil Hallward came and asked to look at
|
|
his own picture? Basil would be sure to do that. No; the thing had to
|
|
be examined, and at once. Anything would be better than this dreadful
|
|
state of doubt.
|
|
|
|
He got up and locked both doors. At least he would be alone when he
|
|
looked upon the mask of his shame. Then he drew the screen aside and
|
|
saw himself face to face. It was perfectly true. The portrait had
|
|
altered.
|
|
|
|
As he often remembered afterwards, and always with no small wonder, he
|
|
found himself at first gazing at the portrait with a feeling of almost
|
|
scientific interest. That such a change should have taken place was
|
|
incredible to him. And yet it was a fact. Was there some subtle
|
|
affinity between the chemical atoms that shaped themselves into form
|
|
and colour on the canvas and the soul that was within him? Could it be
|
|
that what that soul thought, they realized?--that what it dreamed, they
|
|
made true? Or was there some other, more terrible reason? He
|
|
shuddered, and felt afraid, and, going back to the couch, lay there,
|
|
gazing at the picture in sickened horror.
|
|
|
|
One thing, however, he felt that it had done for him. It had made him
|
|
conscious how unjust, how cruel, he had been to Sibyl Vane. It was not
|
|
too late to make reparation for that. She could still be his wife.
|
|
His unreal and selfish love would yield to some higher influence, would
|
|
be transformed into some nobler passion, and the portrait that Basil
|
|
Hallward had painted of him would be a guide to him through life, would
|
|
be to him what holiness is to some, and conscience to others, and the
|
|
fear of God to us all. There were opiates for remorse, drugs that
|
|
could lull the moral sense to sleep. But here was a visible symbol of
|
|
the degradation of sin. Here was an ever-present sign of the ruin men
|
|
brought upon their souls.
|
|
|
|
Three o'clock struck, and four, and the half-hour rang its double
|
|
chime, but Dorian Gray did not stir. He was trying to gather up the
|
|
scarlet threads of life and to weave them into a pattern; to find his
|
|
way through the sanguine labyrinth of passion through which he was
|
|
wandering. He did not know what to do, or what to think. Finally, he
|
|
went over to the table and wrote a passionate letter to the girl he had
|
|
loved, imploring her forgiveness and accusing himself of madness. He
|
|
covered page after page with wild words of sorrow and wilder words of
|
|
pain. There is a luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves, we
|
|
feel that no one else has a right to blame us. It is the confession,
|
|
not the priest, that gives us absolution. When Dorian had finished the
|
|
letter, he felt that he had been forgiven.
|
|
|
|
Suddenly there came a knock to the door, and he heard Lord Henry's
|
|
voice outside. "My dear boy, I must see you. Let me in at once. I
|
|
can't bear your shutting yourself up like this."
|
|
|
|
He made no answer at first, but remained quite still. The knocking
|
|
still continued and grew louder. Yes, it was better to let Lord Henry
|
|
in, and to explain to him the new life he was going to lead, to quarrel
|
|
with him if it became necessary to quarrel, to part if parting was
|
|
inevitable. He jumped up, drew the screen hastily across the picture,
|
|
and unlocked the door.
|
|
|
|
"I am so sorry for it all, Dorian," said Lord Henry as he entered.
|
|
"But you must not think too much about it."
|
|
|
|
"Do you mean about Sibyl Vane?" asked the lad.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, of course," answered Lord Henry, sinking into a chair and slowly
|
|
pulling off his yellow gloves. "It is dreadful, from one point of
|
|
view, but it was not your fault. Tell me, did you go behind and see
|
|
her, after the play was over?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes."
|
|
|
|
"I felt sure you had. Did you make a scene with her?"
|
|
|
|
"I was brutal, Harry--perfectly brutal. But it is all right now. I am
|
|
not sorry for anything that has happened. It has taught me to know
|
|
myself better."
|
|
|
|
"Ah, Dorian, I am so glad you take it in that way! I was afraid I
|
|
would find you plunged in remorse and tearing that nice curly hair of
|
|
yours."
|
|
|
|
"I have got through all that," said Dorian, shaking his head and
|
|
smiling. "I am perfectly happy now. I know what conscience is, to
|
|
begin with. It is not what you told me it was. It is the divinest
|
|
thing in us. Don't sneer at it, Harry, any more--at least not before
|
|
me. I want to be good. I can't bear the idea of my soul being
|
|
hideous."
|
|
|
|
"A very charming artistic basis for ethics, Dorian! I congratulate you
|
|
on it. But how are you going to begin?"
|
|
|
|
"By marrying Sibyl Vane."
|
|
|
|
"Marrying Sibyl Vane!" cried Lord Henry, standing up and looking at him
|
|
in perplexed amazement. "But, my dear Dorian--"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, Harry, I know what you are going to say. Something dreadful
|
|
about marriage. Don't say it. Don't ever say things of that kind to
|
|
me again. Two days ago I asked Sibyl to marry me. I am not going to
|
|
break my word to her. She is to be my wife."
|
|
|
|
"Your wife! Dorian! ... Didn't you get my letter? I wrote to you this
|
|
morning, and sent the note down by my own man."
|
|
|
|
"Your letter? Oh, yes, I remember. I have not read it yet, Harry. I
|
|
was afraid there might be something in it that I wouldn't like. You
|
|
cut life to pieces with your epigrams."
|
|
|
|
"You know nothing then?"
|
|
|
|
"What do you mean?"
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry walked across the room, and sitting down by Dorian Gray,
|
|
took both his hands in his own and held them tightly. "Dorian," he
|
|
said, "my letter--don't be frightened--was to tell you that Sibyl Vane
|
|
is dead."
|
|
|
|
A cry of pain broke from the lad's lips, and he leaped to his feet,
|
|
tearing his hands away from Lord Henry's grasp. "Dead! Sibyl dead!
|
|
It is not true! It is a horrible lie! How dare you say it?"
|
|
|
|
"It is quite true, Dorian," said Lord Henry, gravely. "It is in all
|
|
the morning papers. I wrote down to you to ask you not to see any one
|
|
till I came. There will have to be an inquest, of course, and you must
|
|
not be mixed up in it. Things like that make a man fashionable in
|
|
Paris. But in London people are so prejudiced. Here, one should never
|
|
make one's _debut_ with a scandal. One should reserve that to give an
|
|
interest to one's old age. I suppose they don't know your name at the
|
|
theatre? If they don't, it is all right. Did any one see you going
|
|
round to her room? That is an important point."
|
|
|
|
Dorian did not answer for a few moments. He was dazed with horror.
|
|
Finally he stammered, in a stifled voice, "Harry, did you say an
|
|
inquest? What did you mean by that? Did Sibyl--? Oh, Harry, I can't
|
|
bear it! But be quick. Tell me everything at once."
|
|
|
|
"I have no doubt it was not an accident, Dorian, though it must be put
|
|
in that way to the public. It seems that as she was leaving the
|
|
theatre with her mother, about half-past twelve or so, she said she had
|
|
forgotten something upstairs. They waited some time for her, but she
|
|
did not come down again. They ultimately found her lying dead on the
|
|
floor of her dressing-room. She had swallowed something by mistake,
|
|
some dreadful thing they use at theatres. I don't know what it was,
|
|
but it had either prussic acid or white lead in it. I should fancy it
|
|
was prussic acid, as she seems to have died instantaneously."
|
|
|
|
"Harry, Harry, it is terrible!" cried the lad.
|
|
|
|
"Yes; it is very tragic, of course, but you must not get yourself mixed
|
|
up in it. I see by _The Standard_ that she was seventeen. I should have
|
|
thought she was almost younger than that. She looked such a child, and
|
|
seemed to know so little about acting. Dorian, you mustn't let this
|
|
thing get on your nerves. You must come and dine with me, and
|
|
afterwards we will look in at the opera. It is a Patti night, and
|
|
everybody will be there. You can come to my sister's box. She has got
|
|
some smart women with her."
|
|
|
|
"So I have murdered Sibyl Vane," said Dorian Gray, half to himself,
|
|
"murdered her as surely as if I had cut her little throat with a knife.
|
|
Yet the roses are not less lovely for all that. The birds sing just as
|
|
happily in my garden. And to-night I am to dine with you, and then go
|
|
on to the opera, and sup somewhere, I suppose, afterwards. How
|
|
extraordinarily dramatic life is! If I had read all this in a book,
|
|
Harry, I think I would have wept over it. Somehow, now that it has
|
|
happened actually, and to me, it seems far too wonderful for tears.
|
|
Here is the first passionate love-letter I have ever written in my
|
|
life. Strange, that my first passionate love-letter should have been
|
|
addressed to a dead girl. Can they feel, I wonder, those white silent
|
|
people we call the dead? Sibyl! Can she feel, or know, or listen?
|
|
Oh, Harry, how I loved her once! It seems years ago to me now. She
|
|
was everything to me. Then came that dreadful night--was it really
|
|
only last night?--when she played so badly, and my heart almost broke.
|
|
She explained it all to me. It was terribly pathetic. But I was not
|
|
moved a bit. I thought her shallow. Suddenly something happened that
|
|
made me afraid. I can't tell you what it was, but it was terrible. I
|
|
said I would go back to her. I felt I had done wrong. And now she is
|
|
dead. My God! My God! Harry, what shall I do? You don't know the
|
|
danger I am in, and there is nothing to keep me straight. She would
|
|
have done that for me. She had no right to kill herself. It was
|
|
selfish of her."
|
|
|
|
"My dear Dorian," answered Lord Henry, taking a cigarette from his case
|
|
and producing a gold-latten matchbox, "the only way a woman can ever
|
|
reform a man is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible
|
|
interest in life. If you had married this girl, you would have been
|
|
wretched. Of course, you would have treated her kindly. One can
|
|
always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing. But she would
|
|
have soon found out that you were absolutely indifferent to her. And
|
|
when a woman finds that out about her husband, she either becomes
|
|
dreadfully dowdy, or wears very smart bonnets that some other woman's
|
|
husband has to pay for. I say nothing about the social mistake, which
|
|
would have been abject--which, of course, I would not have allowed--but
|
|
I assure you that in any case the whole thing would have been an
|
|
absolute failure."
|
|
|
|
"I suppose it would," muttered the lad, walking up and down the room
|
|
and looking horribly pale. "But I thought it was my duty. It is not
|
|
my fault that this terrible tragedy has prevented my doing what was
|
|
right. I remember your saying once that there is a fatality about good
|
|
resolutions--that they are always made too late. Mine certainly were."
|
|
|
|
"Good resolutions are useless attempts to interfere with scientific
|
|
laws. Their origin is pure vanity. Their result is absolutely _nil_.
|
|
They give us, now and then, some of those luxurious sterile emotions
|
|
that have a certain charm for the weak. That is all that can be said
|
|
for them. They are simply cheques that men draw on a bank where they
|
|
have no account."
|
|
|
|
"Harry," cried Dorian Gray, coming over and sitting down beside him,
|
|
"why is it that I cannot feel this tragedy as much as I want to? I
|
|
don't think I am heartless. Do you?"
|
|
|
|
"You have done too many foolish things during the last fortnight to be
|
|
entitled to give yourself that name, Dorian," answered Lord Henry with
|
|
his sweet melancholy smile.
|
|
|
|
The lad frowned. "I don't like that explanation, Harry," he rejoined,
|
|
"but I am glad you don't think I am heartless. I am nothing of the
|
|
kind. I know I am not. And yet I must admit that this thing that has
|
|
happened does not affect me as it should. It seems to me to be simply
|
|
like a wonderful ending to a wonderful play. It has all the terrible
|
|
beauty of a Greek tragedy, a tragedy in which I took a great part, but
|
|
by which I have not been wounded."
|
|
|
|
"It is an interesting question," said Lord Henry, who found an
|
|
exquisite pleasure in playing on the lad's unconscious egotism, "an
|
|
extremely interesting question. I fancy that the true explanation is
|
|
this: It often happens that the real tragedies of life occur in such
|
|
an inartistic manner that they hurt us by their crude violence, their
|
|
absolute incoherence, their absurd want of meaning, their entire lack
|
|
of style. They affect us just as vulgarity affects us. They give us
|
|
an impression of sheer brute force, and we revolt against that.
|
|
Sometimes, however, a tragedy that possesses artistic elements of
|
|
beauty crosses our lives. If these elements of beauty are real, the
|
|
whole thing simply appeals to our sense of dramatic effect. Suddenly
|
|
we find that we are no longer the actors, but the spectators of the
|
|
play. Or rather we are both. We watch ourselves, and the mere wonder
|
|
of the spectacle enthralls us. In the present case, what is it that
|
|
has really happened? Some one has killed herself for love of you. I
|
|
wish that I had ever had such an experience. It would have made me in
|
|
love with love for the rest of my life. The people who have adored
|
|
me--there have not been very many, but there have been some--have
|
|
always insisted on living on, long after I had ceased to care for them,
|
|
or they to care for me. They have become stout and tedious, and when I
|
|
meet them, they go in at once for reminiscences. That awful memory of
|
|
woman! What a fearful thing it is! And what an utter intellectual
|
|
stagnation it reveals! One should absorb the colour of life, but one
|
|
should never remember its details. Details are always vulgar."
|
|
|
|
"I must sow poppies in my garden," sighed Dorian.
|
|
|
|
"There is no necessity," rejoined his companion. "Life has always
|
|
poppies in her hands. Of course, now and then things linger. I once
|
|
wore nothing but violets all through one season, as a form of artistic
|
|
mourning for a romance that would not die. Ultimately, however, it did
|
|
die. I forget what killed it. I think it was her proposing to
|
|
sacrifice the whole world for me. That is always a dreadful moment.
|
|
It fills one with the terror of eternity. Well--would you believe
|
|
it?--a week ago, at Lady Hampshire's, I found myself seated at dinner
|
|
next the lady in question, and she insisted on going over the whole
|
|
thing again, and digging up the past, and raking up the future. I had
|
|
buried my romance in a bed of asphodel. She dragged it out again and
|
|
assured me that I had spoiled her life. I am bound to state that she
|
|
ate an enormous dinner, so I did not feel any anxiety. But what a lack
|
|
of taste she showed! The one charm of the past is that it is the past.
|
|
But women never know when the curtain has fallen. They always want a
|
|
sixth act, and as soon as the interest of the play is entirely over,
|
|
they propose to continue it. If they were allowed their own way, every
|
|
comedy would have a tragic ending, and every tragedy would culminate in
|
|
a farce. They are charmingly artificial, but they have no sense of
|
|
art. You are more fortunate than I am. I assure you, Dorian, that not
|
|
one of the women I have known would have done for me what Sibyl Vane
|
|
did for you. Ordinary women always console themselves. Some of them
|
|
do it by going in for sentimental colours. Never trust a woman who
|
|
wears mauve, whatever her age may be, or a woman over thirty-five who
|
|
is fond of pink ribbons. It always means that they have a history.
|
|
Others find a great consolation in suddenly discovering the good
|
|
qualities of their husbands. They flaunt their conjugal felicity in
|
|
one's face, as if it were the most fascinating of sins. Religion
|
|
consoles some. Its mysteries have all the charm of a flirtation, a
|
|
woman once told me, and I can quite understand it. Besides, nothing
|
|
makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner. Conscience makes
|
|
egotists of us all. Yes; there is really no end to the consolations
|
|
that women find in modern life. Indeed, I have not mentioned the most
|
|
important one."
|
|
|
|
"What is that, Harry?" said the lad listlessly.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, the obvious consolation. Taking some one else's admirer when one
|
|
loses one's own. In good society that always whitewashes a woman. But
|
|
really, Dorian, how different Sibyl Vane must have been from all the
|
|
women one meets! There is something to me quite beautiful about her
|
|
death. I am glad I am living in a century when such wonders happen.
|
|
They make one believe in the reality of the things we all play with,
|
|
such as romance, passion, and love."
|
|
|
|
"I was terribly cruel to her. You forget that."
|
|
|
|
"I am afraid that women appreciate cruelty, downright cruelty, more
|
|
than anything else. They have wonderfully primitive instincts. We
|
|
have emancipated them, but they remain slaves looking for their
|
|
masters, all the same. They love being dominated. I am sure you were
|
|
splendid. I have never seen you really and absolutely angry, but I can
|
|
fancy how delightful you looked. And, after all, you said something to
|
|
me the day before yesterday that seemed to me at the time to be merely
|
|
fanciful, but that I see now was absolutely true, and it holds the key
|
|
to everything."
|
|
|
|
"What was that, Harry?"
|
|
|
|
"You said to me that Sibyl Vane represented to you all the heroines of
|
|
romance--that she was Desdemona one night, and Ophelia the other; that
|
|
if she died as Juliet, she came to life as Imogen."
|
|
|
|
"She will never come to life again now," muttered the lad, burying his
|
|
face in his hands.
|
|
|
|
"No, she will never come to life. She has played her last part. But
|
|
you must think of that lonely death in the tawdry dressing-room simply
|
|
as a strange lurid fragment from some Jacobean tragedy, as a wonderful
|
|
scene from Webster, or Ford, or Cyril Tourneur. The girl never really
|
|
lived, and so she has never really died. To you at least she was
|
|
always a dream, a phantom that flitted through Shakespeare's plays and
|
|
left them lovelier for its presence, a reed through which Shakespeare's
|
|
music sounded richer and more full of joy. The moment she touched
|
|
actual life, she marred it, and it marred her, and so she passed away.
|
|
Mourn for Ophelia, if you like. Put ashes on your head because
|
|
Cordelia was strangled. Cry out against Heaven because the daughter of
|
|
Brabantio died. But don't waste your tears over Sibyl Vane. She was
|
|
less real than they are."
|
|
|
|
There was a silence. The evening darkened in the room. Noiselessly,
|
|
and with silver feet, the shadows crept in from the garden. The
|
|
colours faded wearily out of things.
|
|
|
|
After some time Dorian Gray looked up. "You have explained me to
|
|
myself, Harry," he murmured with something of a sigh of relief. "I
|
|
felt all that you have said, but somehow I was afraid of it, and I
|
|
could not express it to myself. How well you know me! But we will not
|
|
talk again of what has happened. It has been a marvellous experience.
|
|
That is all. I wonder if life has still in store for me anything as
|
|
marvellous."
|
|
|
|
"Life has everything in store for you, Dorian. There is nothing that
|
|
you, with your extraordinary good looks, will not be able to do."
|
|
|
|
"But suppose, Harry, I became haggard, and old, and wrinkled? What
|
|
then?"
|
|
|
|
"Ah, then," said Lord Henry, rising to go, "then, my dear Dorian, you
|
|
would have to fight for your victories. As it is, they are brought to
|
|
you. No, you must keep your good looks. We live in an age that reads
|
|
too much to be wise, and that thinks too much to be beautiful. We
|
|
cannot spare you. And now you had better dress and drive down to the
|
|
club. We are rather late, as it is."
|
|
|
|
"I think I shall join you at the opera, Harry. I feel too tired to eat
|
|
anything. What is the number of your sister's box?"
|
|
|
|
"Twenty-seven, I believe. It is on the grand tier. You will see her
|
|
name on the door. But I am sorry you won't come and dine."
|
|
|
|
"I don't feel up to it," said Dorian listlessly. "But I am awfully
|
|
obliged to you for all that you have said to me. You are certainly my
|
|
best friend. No one has ever understood me as you have."
|
|
|
|
"We are only at the beginning of our friendship, Dorian," answered Lord
|
|
Henry, shaking him by the hand. "Good-bye. I shall see you before
|
|
nine-thirty, I hope. Remember, Patti is singing."
|
|
|
|
As he closed the door behind him, Dorian Gray touched the bell, and in
|
|
a few minutes Victor appeared with the lamps and drew the blinds down.
|
|
He waited impatiently for him to go. The man seemed to take an
|
|
interminable time over everything.
|
|
|
|
As soon as he had left, he rushed to the screen and drew it back. No;
|
|
there was no further change in the picture. It had received the news
|
|
of Sibyl Vane's death before he had known of it himself. It was
|
|
conscious of the events of life as they occurred. The vicious cruelty
|
|
that marred the fine lines of the mouth had, no doubt, appeared at the
|
|
very moment that the girl had drunk the poison, whatever it was. Or
|
|
was it indifferent to results? Did it merely take cognizance of what
|
|
passed within the soul? He wondered, and hoped that some day he would
|
|
see the change taking place before his very eyes, shuddering as he
|
|
hoped it.
|
|
|
|
Poor Sibyl! What a romance it had all been! She had often mimicked
|
|
death on the stage. Then Death himself had touched her and taken her
|
|
with him. How had she played that dreadful last scene? Had she cursed
|
|
him, as she died? No; she had died for love of him, and love would
|
|
always be a sacrament to him now. She had atoned for everything by the
|
|
sacrifice she had made of her life. He would not think any more of
|
|
what she had made him go through, on that horrible night at the
|
|
theatre. When he thought of her, it would be as a wonderful tragic
|
|
figure sent on to the world's stage to show the supreme reality of
|
|
love. A wonderful tragic figure? Tears came to his eyes as he
|
|
remembered her childlike look, and winsome fanciful ways, and shy
|
|
tremulous grace. He brushed them away hastily and looked again at the
|
|
picture.
|
|
|
|
He felt that the time had really come for making his choice. Or had
|
|
his choice already been made? Yes, life had decided that for
|
|
him--life, and his own infinite curiosity about life. Eternal youth,
|
|
infinite passion, pleasures subtle and secret, wild joys and wilder
|
|
sins--he was to have all these things. The portrait was to bear the
|
|
burden of his shame: that was all.
|
|
|
|
A feeling of pain crept over him as he thought of the desecration that
|
|
was in store for the fair face on the canvas. Once, in boyish mockery
|
|
of Narcissus, he had kissed, or feigned to kiss, those painted lips
|
|
that now smiled so cruelly at him. Morning after morning he had sat
|
|
before the portrait wondering at its beauty, almost enamoured of it, as
|
|
it seemed to him at times. Was it to alter now with every mood to
|
|
which he yielded? Was it to become a monstrous and loathsome thing, to
|
|
be hidden away in a locked room, to be shut out from the sunlight that
|
|
had so often touched to brighter gold the waving wonder of its hair?
|
|
The pity of it! the pity of it!
|
|
|
|
For a moment, he thought of praying that the horrible sympathy that
|
|
existed between him and the picture might cease. It had changed in
|
|
answer to a prayer; perhaps in answer to a prayer it might remain
|
|
unchanged. And yet, who, that knew anything about life, would
|
|
surrender the chance of remaining always young, however fantastic that
|
|
chance might be, or with what fateful consequences it might be fraught?
|
|
Besides, was it really under his control? Had it indeed been prayer
|
|
that had produced the substitution? Might there not be some curious
|
|
scientific reason for it all? If thought could exercise its influence
|
|
upon a living organism, might not thought exercise an influence upon
|
|
dead and inorganic things? Nay, without thought or conscious desire,
|
|
might not things external to ourselves vibrate in unison with our moods
|
|
and passions, atom calling to atom in secret love or strange affinity?
|
|
But the reason was of no importance. He would never again tempt by a
|
|
prayer any terrible power. If the picture was to alter, it was to
|
|
alter. That was all. Why inquire too closely into it?
|
|
|
|
For there would be a real pleasure in watching it. He would be able to
|
|
follow his mind into its secret places. This portrait would be to him
|
|
the most magical of mirrors. As it had revealed to him his own body,
|
|
so it would reveal to him his own soul. And when winter came upon it,
|
|
he would still be standing where spring trembles on the verge of
|
|
summer. When the blood crept from its face, and left behind a pallid
|
|
mask of chalk with leaden eyes, he would keep the glamour of boyhood.
|
|
Not one blossom of his loveliness would ever fade. Not one pulse of
|
|
his life would ever weaken. Like the gods of the Greeks, he would be
|
|
strong, and fleet, and joyous. What did it matter what happened to the
|
|
coloured image on the canvas? He would be safe. That was everything.
|
|
|
|
He drew the screen back into its former place in front of the picture,
|
|
smiling as he did so, and passed into his bedroom, where his valet was
|
|
already waiting for him. An hour later he was at the opera, and Lord
|
|
Henry was leaning over his chair.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 9
|
|
|
|
As he was sitting at breakfast next morning, Basil Hallward was shown
|
|
into the room.
|
|
|
|
"I am so glad I have found you, Dorian," he said gravely. "I called
|
|
last night, and they told me you were at the opera. Of course, I knew
|
|
that was impossible. But I wish you had left word where you had really
|
|
gone to. I passed a dreadful evening, half afraid that one tragedy
|
|
might be followed by another. I think you might have telegraphed for
|
|
me when you heard of it first. I read of it quite by chance in a late
|
|
edition of _The Globe_ that I picked up at the club. I came here at once
|
|
and was miserable at not finding you. I can't tell you how
|
|
heart-broken I am about the whole thing. I know what you must suffer.
|
|
But where were you? Did you go down and see the girl's mother? For a
|
|
moment I thought of following you there. They gave the address in the
|
|
paper. Somewhere in the Euston Road, isn't it? But I was afraid of
|
|
intruding upon a sorrow that I could not lighten. Poor woman! What a
|
|
state she must be in! And her only child, too! What did she say about
|
|
it all?"
|
|
|
|
"My dear Basil, how do I know?" murmured Dorian Gray, sipping some
|
|
pale-yellow wine from a delicate, gold-beaded bubble of Venetian glass
|
|
and looking dreadfully bored. "I was at the opera. You should have
|
|
come on there. I met Lady Gwendolen, Harry's sister, for the first
|
|
time. We were in her box. She is perfectly charming; and Patti sang
|
|
divinely. Don't talk about horrid subjects. If one doesn't talk about
|
|
a thing, it has never happened. It is simply expression, as Harry
|
|
says, that gives reality to things. I may mention that she was not the
|
|
woman's only child. There is a son, a charming fellow, I believe. But
|
|
he is not on the stage. He is a sailor, or something. And now, tell
|
|
me about yourself and what you are painting."
|
|
|
|
"You went to the opera?" said Hallward, speaking very slowly and with a
|
|
strained touch of pain in his voice. "You went to the opera while
|
|
Sibyl Vane was lying dead in some sordid lodging? You can talk to me
|
|
of other women being charming, and of Patti singing divinely, before
|
|
the girl you loved has even the quiet of a grave to sleep in? Why,
|
|
man, there are horrors in store for that little white body of hers!"
|
|
|
|
"Stop, Basil! I won't hear it!" cried Dorian, leaping to his feet.
|
|
"You must not tell me about things. What is done is done. What is
|
|
past is past."
|
|
|
|
"You call yesterday the past?"
|
|
|
|
"What has the actual lapse of time got to do with it? It is only
|
|
shallow people who require years to get rid of an emotion. A man who
|
|
is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a
|
|
pleasure. I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to
|
|
use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them."
|
|
|
|
"Dorian, this is horrible! Something has changed you completely. You
|
|
look exactly the same wonderful boy who, day after day, used to come
|
|
down to my studio to sit for his picture. But you were simple,
|
|
natural, and affectionate then. You were the most unspoiled creature
|
|
in the whole world. Now, I don't know what has come over you. You
|
|
talk as if you had no heart, no pity in you. It is all Harry's
|
|
influence. I see that."
|
|
|
|
The lad flushed up and, going to the window, looked out for a few
|
|
moments on the green, flickering, sun-lashed garden. "I owe a great
|
|
deal to Harry, Basil," he said at last, "more than I owe to you. You
|
|
only taught me to be vain."
|
|
|
|
"Well, I am punished for that, Dorian--or shall be some day."
|
|
|
|
"I don't know what you mean, Basil," he exclaimed, turning round. "I
|
|
don't know what you want. What do you want?"
|
|
|
|
"I want the Dorian Gray I used to paint," said the artist sadly.
|
|
|
|
"Basil," said the lad, going over to him and putting his hand on his
|
|
shoulder, "you have come too late. Yesterday, when I heard that Sibyl
|
|
Vane had killed herself--"
|
|
|
|
"Killed herself! Good heavens! is there no doubt about that?" cried
|
|
Hallward, looking up at him with an expression of horror.
|
|
|
|
"My dear Basil! Surely you don't think it was a vulgar accident? Of
|
|
course she killed herself."
|
|
|
|
The elder man buried his face in his hands. "How fearful," he
|
|
muttered, and a shudder ran through him.
|
|
|
|
"No," said Dorian Gray, "there is nothing fearful about it. It is one
|
|
of the great romantic tragedies of the age. As a rule, people who act
|
|
lead the most commonplace lives. They are good husbands, or faithful
|
|
wives, or something tedious. You know what I mean--middle-class virtue
|
|
and all that kind of thing. How different Sibyl was! She lived her
|
|
finest tragedy. She was always a heroine. The last night she
|
|
played--the night you saw her--she acted badly because she had known
|
|
the reality of love. When she knew its unreality, she died, as Juliet
|
|
might have died. She passed again into the sphere of art. There is
|
|
something of the martyr about her. Her death has all the pathetic
|
|
uselessness of martyrdom, all its wasted beauty. But, as I was saying,
|
|
you must not think I have not suffered. If you had come in yesterday
|
|
at a particular moment--about half-past five, perhaps, or a quarter to
|
|
six--you would have found me in tears. Even Harry, who was here, who
|
|
brought me the news, in fact, had no idea what I was going through. I
|
|
suffered immensely. Then it passed away. I cannot repeat an emotion.
|
|
No one can, except sentimentalists. And you are awfully unjust, Basil.
|
|
You come down here to console me. That is charming of you. You find
|
|
me consoled, and you are furious. How like a sympathetic person! You
|
|
remind me of a story Harry told me about a certain philanthropist who
|
|
spent twenty years of his life in trying to get some grievance
|
|
redressed, or some unjust law altered--I forget exactly what it was.
|
|
Finally he succeeded, and nothing could exceed his disappointment. He
|
|
had absolutely nothing to do, almost died of _ennui_, and became a
|
|
confirmed misanthrope. And besides, my dear old Basil, if you really
|
|
want to console me, teach me rather to forget what has happened, or to
|
|
see it from a proper artistic point of view. Was it not Gautier who
|
|
used to write about _la consolation des arts_? I remember picking up a
|
|
little vellum-covered book in your studio one day and chancing on that
|
|
delightful phrase. Well, I am not like that young man you told me of
|
|
when we were down at Marlow together, the young man who used to say
|
|
that yellow satin could console one for all the miseries of life. I
|
|
love beautiful things that one can touch and handle. Old brocades,
|
|
green bronzes, lacquer-work, carved ivories, exquisite surroundings,
|
|
luxury, pomp--there is much to be got from all these. But the artistic
|
|
temperament that they create, or at any rate reveal, is still more to
|
|
me. To become the spectator of one's own life, as Harry says, is to
|
|
escape the suffering of life. I know you are surprised at my talking
|
|
to you like this. You have not realized how I have developed. I was a
|
|
schoolboy when you knew me. I am a man now. I have new passions, new
|
|
thoughts, new ideas. I am different, but you must not like me less. I
|
|
am changed, but you must always be my friend. Of course, I am very
|
|
fond of Harry. But I know that you are better than he is. You are not
|
|
stronger--you are too much afraid of life--but you are better. And how
|
|
happy we used to be together! Don't leave me, Basil, and don't quarrel
|
|
with me. I am what I am. There is nothing more to be said."
|
|
|
|
The painter felt strangely moved. The lad was infinitely dear to him,
|
|
and his personality had been the great turning point in his art. He
|
|
could not bear the idea of reproaching him any more. After all, his
|
|
indifference was probably merely a mood that would pass away. There
|
|
was so much in him that was good, so much in him that was noble.
|
|
|
|
"Well, Dorian," he said at length, with a sad smile, "I won't speak to
|
|
you again about this horrible thing, after to-day. I only trust your
|
|
name won't be mentioned in connection with it. The inquest is to take
|
|
place this afternoon. Have they summoned you?"
|
|
|
|
Dorian shook his head, and a look of annoyance passed over his face at
|
|
the mention of the word "inquest." There was something so crude and
|
|
vulgar about everything of the kind. "They don't know my name," he
|
|
answered.
|
|
|
|
"But surely she did?"
|
|
|
|
"Only my Christian name, and that I am quite sure she never mentioned
|
|
to any one. She told me once that they were all rather curious to
|
|
learn who I was, and that she invariably told them my name was Prince
|
|
Charming. It was pretty of her. You must do me a drawing of Sibyl,
|
|
Basil. I should like to have something more of her than the memory of
|
|
a few kisses and some broken pathetic words."
|
|
|
|
"I will try and do something, Dorian, if it would please you. But you
|
|
must come and sit to me yourself again. I can't get on without you."
|
|
|
|
"I can never sit to you again, Basil. It is impossible!" he exclaimed,
|
|
starting back.
|
|
|
|
The painter stared at him. "My dear boy, what nonsense!" he cried.
|
|
"Do you mean to say you don't like what I did of you? Where is it?
|
|
Why have you pulled the screen in front of it? Let me look at it. It
|
|
is the best thing I have ever done. Do take the screen away, Dorian.
|
|
It is simply disgraceful of your servant hiding my work like that. I
|
|
felt the room looked different as I came in."
|
|
|
|
"My servant has nothing to do with it, Basil. You don't imagine I let
|
|
him arrange my room for me? He settles my flowers for me
|
|
sometimes--that is all. No; I did it myself. The light was too strong
|
|
on the portrait."
|
|
|
|
"Too strong! Surely not, my dear fellow? It is an admirable place for
|
|
it. Let me see it." And Hallward walked towards the corner of the
|
|
room.
|
|
|
|
A cry of terror broke from Dorian Gray's lips, and he rushed between
|
|
the painter and the screen. "Basil," he said, looking very pale, "you
|
|
must not look at it. I don't wish you to."
|
|
|
|
"Not look at my own work! You are not serious. Why shouldn't I look
|
|
at it?" exclaimed Hallward, laughing.
|
|
|
|
"If you try to look at it, Basil, on my word of honour I will never
|
|
speak to you again as long as I live. I am quite serious. I don't
|
|
offer any explanation, and you are not to ask for any. But, remember,
|
|
if you touch this screen, everything is over between us."
|
|
|
|
Hallward was thunderstruck. He looked at Dorian Gray in absolute
|
|
amazement. He had never seen him like this before. The lad was
|
|
actually pallid with rage. His hands were clenched, and the pupils of
|
|
his eyes were like disks of blue fire. He was trembling all over.
|
|
|
|
"Dorian!"
|
|
|
|
"Don't speak!"
|
|
|
|
"But what is the matter? Of course I won't look at it if you don't
|
|
want me to," he said, rather coldly, turning on his heel and going over
|
|
towards the window. "But, really, it seems rather absurd that I
|
|
shouldn't see my own work, especially as I am going to exhibit it in
|
|
Paris in the autumn. I shall probably have to give it another coat of
|
|
varnish before that, so I must see it some day, and why not to-day?"
|
|
|
|
"To exhibit it! You want to exhibit it?" exclaimed Dorian Gray, a
|
|
strange sense of terror creeping over him. Was the world going to be
|
|
shown his secret? Were people to gape at the mystery of his life?
|
|
That was impossible. Something--he did not know what--had to be done
|
|
at once.
|
|
|
|
"Yes; I don't suppose you will object to that. Georges Petit is going
|
|
to collect all my best pictures for a special exhibition in the Rue de
|
|
Seze, which will open the first week in October. The portrait will
|
|
only be away a month. I should think you could easily spare it for
|
|
that time. In fact, you are sure to be out of town. And if you keep
|
|
it always behind a screen, you can't care much about it."
|
|
|
|
Dorian Gray passed his hand over his forehead. There were beads of
|
|
perspiration there. He felt that he was on the brink of a horrible
|
|
danger. "You told me a month ago that you would never exhibit it," he
|
|
cried. "Why have you changed your mind? You people who go in for
|
|
being consistent have just as many moods as others have. The only
|
|
difference is that your moods are rather meaningless. You can't have
|
|
forgotten that you assured me most solemnly that nothing in the world
|
|
would induce you to send it to any exhibition. You told Harry exactly
|
|
the same thing." He stopped suddenly, and a gleam of light came into
|
|
his eyes. He remembered that Lord Henry had said to him once, half
|
|
seriously and half in jest, "If you want to have a strange quarter of
|
|
an hour, get Basil to tell you why he won't exhibit your picture. He
|
|
told me why he wouldn't, and it was a revelation to me." Yes, perhaps
|
|
Basil, too, had his secret. He would ask him and try.
|
|
|
|
"Basil," he said, coming over quite close and looking him straight in
|
|
the face, "we have each of us a secret. Let me know yours, and I shall
|
|
tell you mine. What was your reason for refusing to exhibit my
|
|
picture?"
|
|
|
|
The painter shuddered in spite of himself. "Dorian, if I told you, you
|
|
might like me less than you do, and you would certainly laugh at me. I
|
|
could not bear your doing either of those two things. If you wish me
|
|
never to look at your picture again, I am content. I have always you
|
|
to look at. If you wish the best work I have ever done to be hidden
|
|
from the world, I am satisfied. Your friendship is dearer to me than
|
|
any fame or reputation."
|
|
|
|
"No, Basil, you must tell me," insisted Dorian Gray. "I think I have a
|
|
right to know." His feeling of terror had passed away, and curiosity
|
|
had taken its place. He was determined to find out Basil Hallward's
|
|
mystery.
|
|
|
|
"Let us sit down, Dorian," said the painter, looking troubled. "Let us
|
|
sit down. And just answer me one question. Have you noticed in the
|
|
picture something curious?--something that probably at first did not
|
|
strike you, but that revealed itself to you suddenly?"
|
|
|
|
"Basil!" cried the lad, clutching the arms of his chair with trembling
|
|
hands and gazing at him with wild startled eyes.
|
|
|
|
"I see you did. Don't speak. Wait till you hear what I have to say.
|
|
Dorian, from the moment I met you, your personality had the most
|
|
extraordinary influence over me. I was dominated, soul, brain, and
|
|
power, by you. You became to me the visible incarnation of that unseen
|
|
ideal whose memory haunts us artists like an exquisite dream. I
|
|
worshipped you. I grew jealous of every one to whom you spoke. I
|
|
wanted to have you all to myself. I was only happy when I was with
|
|
you. When you were away from me, you were still present in my art....
|
|
Of course, I never let you know anything about this. It would have
|
|
been impossible. You would not have understood it. I hardly
|
|
understood it myself. I only knew that I had seen perfection face to
|
|
face, and that the world had become wonderful to my eyes--too
|
|
wonderful, perhaps, for in such mad worships there is peril, the peril
|
|
of losing them, no less than the peril of keeping them.... Weeks and
|
|
weeks went on, and I grew more and more absorbed in you. Then came a
|
|
new development. I had drawn you as Paris in dainty armour, and as
|
|
Adonis with huntsman's cloak and polished boar-spear. Crowned with
|
|
heavy lotus-blossoms you had sat on the prow of Adrian's barge, gazing
|
|
across the green turbid Nile. You had leaned over the still pool of
|
|
some Greek woodland and seen in the water's silent silver the marvel of
|
|
your own face. And it had all been what art should be--unconscious,
|
|
ideal, and remote. One day, a fatal day I sometimes think, I
|
|
determined to paint a wonderful portrait of you as you actually are,
|
|
not in the costume of dead ages, but in your own dress and in your own
|
|
time. Whether it was the realism of the method, or the mere wonder of
|
|
your own personality, thus directly presented to me without mist or
|
|
veil, I cannot tell. But I know that as I worked at it, every flake
|
|
and film of colour seemed to me to reveal my secret. I grew afraid
|
|
that others would know of my idolatry. I felt, Dorian, that I had told
|
|
too much, that I had put too much of myself into it. Then it was that
|
|
I resolved never to allow the picture to be exhibited. You were a
|
|
little annoyed; but then you did not realize all that it meant to me.
|
|
Harry, to whom I talked about it, laughed at me. But I did not mind
|
|
that. When the picture was finished, and I sat alone with it, I felt
|
|
that I was right.... Well, after a few days the thing left my studio,
|
|
and as soon as I had got rid of the intolerable fascination of its
|
|
presence, it seemed to me that I had been foolish in imagining that I
|
|
had seen anything in it, more than that you were extremely good-looking
|
|
and that I could paint. Even now I cannot help feeling that it is a
|
|
mistake to think that the passion one feels in creation is ever really
|
|
shown in the work one creates. Art is always more abstract than we
|
|
fancy. Form and colour tell us of form and colour--that is all. It
|
|
often seems to me that art conceals the artist far more completely than
|
|
it ever reveals him. And so when I got this offer from Paris, I
|
|
determined to make your portrait the principal thing in my exhibition.
|
|
It never occurred to me that you would refuse. I see now that you were
|
|
right. The picture cannot be shown. You must not be angry with me,
|
|
Dorian, for what I have told you. As I said to Harry, once, you are
|
|
made to be worshipped."
|
|
|
|
Dorian Gray drew a long breath. The colour came back to his cheeks,
|
|
and a smile played about his lips. The peril was over. He was safe
|
|
for the time. Yet he could not help feeling infinite pity for the
|
|
painter who had just made this strange confession to him, and wondered
|
|
if he himself would ever be so dominated by the personality of a
|
|
friend. Lord Henry had the charm of being very dangerous. But that
|
|
was all. He was too clever and too cynical to be really fond of.
|
|
Would there ever be some one who would fill him with a strange
|
|
idolatry? Was that one of the things that life had in store?
|
|
|
|
"It is extraordinary to me, Dorian," said Hallward, "that you should
|
|
have seen this in the portrait. Did you really see it?"
|
|
|
|
"I saw something in it," he answered, "something that seemed to me very
|
|
curious."
|
|
|
|
"Well, you don't mind my looking at the thing now?"
|
|
|
|
Dorian shook his head. "You must not ask me that, Basil. I could not
|
|
possibly let you stand in front of that picture."
|
|
|
|
"You will some day, surely?"
|
|
|
|
"Never."
|
|
|
|
"Well, perhaps you are right. And now good-bye, Dorian. You have been
|
|
the one person in my life who has really influenced my art. Whatever I
|
|
have done that is good, I owe to you. Ah! you don't know what it cost
|
|
me to tell you all that I have told you."
|
|
|
|
"My dear Basil," said Dorian, "what have you told me? Simply that you
|
|
felt that you admired me too much. That is not even a compliment."
|
|
|
|
"It was not intended as a compliment. It was a confession. Now that I
|
|
have made it, something seems to have gone out of me. Perhaps one
|
|
should never put one's worship into words."
|
|
|
|
"It was a very disappointing confession."
|
|
|
|
"Why, what did you expect, Dorian? You didn't see anything else in the
|
|
picture, did you? There was nothing else to see?"
|
|
|
|
"No; there was nothing else to see. Why do you ask? But you mustn't
|
|
talk about worship. It is foolish. You and I are friends, Basil, and
|
|
we must always remain so."
|
|
|
|
"You have got Harry," said the painter sadly.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, Harry!" cried the lad, with a ripple of laughter. "Harry spends
|
|
his days in saying what is incredible and his evenings in doing what is
|
|
improbable. Just the sort of life I would like to lead. But still I
|
|
don't think I would go to Harry if I were in trouble. I would sooner
|
|
go to you, Basil."
|
|
|
|
"You will sit to me again?"
|
|
|
|
"Impossible!"
|
|
|
|
"You spoil my life as an artist by refusing, Dorian. No man comes
|
|
across two ideal things. Few come across one."
|
|
|
|
"I can't explain it to you, Basil, but I must never sit to you again.
|
|
There is something fatal about a portrait. It has a life of its own.
|
|
I will come and have tea with you. That will be just as pleasant."
|
|
|
|
"Pleasanter for you, I am afraid," murmured Hallward regretfully. "And
|
|
now good-bye. I am sorry you won't let me look at the picture once
|
|
again. But that can't be helped. I quite understand what you feel
|
|
about it."
|
|
|
|
As he left the room, Dorian Gray smiled to himself. Poor Basil! How
|
|
little he knew of the true reason! And how strange it was that,
|
|
instead of having been forced to reveal his own secret, he had
|
|
succeeded, almost by chance, in wresting a secret from his friend! How
|
|
much that strange confession explained to him! The painter's absurd
|
|
fits of jealousy, his wild devotion, his extravagant panegyrics, his
|
|
curious reticences--he understood them all now, and he felt sorry.
|
|
There seemed to him to be something tragic in a friendship so coloured
|
|
by romance.
|
|
|
|
He sighed and touched the bell. The portrait must be hidden away at
|
|
all costs. He could not run such a risk of discovery again. It had
|
|
been mad of him to have allowed the thing to remain, even for an hour,
|
|
in a room to which any of his friends had access.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 10
|
|
|
|
When his servant entered, he looked at him steadfastly and wondered if
|
|
he had thought of peering behind the screen. The man was quite
|
|
impassive and waited for his orders. Dorian lit a cigarette and walked
|
|
over to the glass and glanced into it. He could see the reflection of
|
|
Victor's face perfectly. It was like a placid mask of servility.
|
|
There was nothing to be afraid of, there. Yet he thought it best to be
|
|
on his guard.
|
|
|
|
Speaking very slowly, he told him to tell the house-keeper that he
|
|
wanted to see her, and then to go to the frame-maker and ask him to
|
|
send two of his men round at once. It seemed to him that as the man
|
|
left the room his eyes wandered in the direction of the screen. Or was
|
|
that merely his own fancy?
|
|
|
|
After a few moments, in her black silk dress, with old-fashioned thread
|
|
mittens on her wrinkled hands, Mrs. Leaf bustled into the library. He
|
|
asked her for the key of the schoolroom.
|
|
|
|
"The old schoolroom, Mr. Dorian?" she exclaimed. "Why, it is full of
|
|
dust. I must get it arranged and put straight before you go into it.
|
|
It is not fit for you to see, sir. It is not, indeed."
|
|
|
|
"I don't want it put straight, Leaf. I only want the key."
|
|
|
|
"Well, sir, you'll be covered with cobwebs if you go into it. Why, it
|
|
hasn't been opened for nearly five years--not since his lordship died."
|
|
|
|
He winced at the mention of his grandfather. He had hateful memories
|
|
of him. "That does not matter," he answered. "I simply want to see
|
|
the place--that is all. Give me the key."
|
|
|
|
"And here is the key, sir," said the old lady, going over the contents
|
|
of her bunch with tremulously uncertain hands. "Here is the key. I'll
|
|
have it off the bunch in a moment. But you don't think of living up
|
|
there, sir, and you so comfortable here?"
|
|
|
|
"No, no," he cried petulantly. "Thank you, Leaf. That will do."
|
|
|
|
She lingered for a few moments, and was garrulous over some detail of
|
|
the household. He sighed and told her to manage things as she thought
|
|
best. She left the room, wreathed in smiles.
|
|
|
|
As the door closed, Dorian put the key in his pocket and looked round
|
|
the room. His eye fell on a large, purple satin coverlet heavily
|
|
embroidered with gold, a splendid piece of late seventeenth-century
|
|
Venetian work that his grandfather had found in a convent near Bologna.
|
|
Yes, that would serve to wrap the dreadful thing in. It had perhaps
|
|
served often as a pall for the dead. Now it was to hide something that
|
|
had a corruption of its own, worse than the corruption of death
|
|
itself--something that would breed horrors and yet would never die.
|
|
What the worm was to the corpse, his sins would be to the painted image
|
|
on the canvas. They would mar its beauty and eat away its grace. They
|
|
would defile it and make it shameful. And yet the thing would still
|
|
live on. It would be always alive.
|
|
|
|
He shuddered, and for a moment he regretted that he had not told Basil
|
|
the true reason why he had wished to hide the picture away. Basil
|
|
would have helped him to resist Lord Henry's influence, and the still
|
|
more poisonous influences that came from his own temperament. The love
|
|
that he bore him--for it was really love--had nothing in it that was
|
|
not noble and intellectual. It was not that mere physical admiration
|
|
of beauty that is born of the senses and that dies when the senses
|
|
tire. It was such love as Michelangelo had known, and Montaigne, and
|
|
Winckelmann, and Shakespeare himself. Yes, Basil could have saved him.
|
|
But it was too late now. The past could always be annihilated.
|
|
Regret, denial, or forgetfulness could do that. But the future was
|
|
inevitable. There were passions in him that would find their terrible
|
|
outlet, dreams that would make the shadow of their evil real.
|
|
|
|
He took up from the couch the great purple-and-gold texture that
|
|
covered it, and, holding it in his hands, passed behind the screen.
|
|
Was the face on the canvas viler than before? It seemed to him that it
|
|
was unchanged, and yet his loathing of it was intensified. Gold hair,
|
|
blue eyes, and rose-red lips--they all were there. It was simply the
|
|
expression that had altered. That was horrible in its cruelty.
|
|
Compared to what he saw in it of censure or rebuke, how shallow Basil's
|
|
reproaches about Sibyl Vane had been!--how shallow, and of what little
|
|
account! His own soul was looking out at him from the canvas and
|
|
calling him to judgement. A look of pain came across him, and he flung
|
|
the rich pall over the picture. As he did so, a knock came to the
|
|
door. He passed out as his servant entered.
|
|
|
|
"The persons are here, Monsieur."
|
|
|
|
He felt that the man must be got rid of at once. He must not be
|
|
allowed to know where the picture was being taken to. There was
|
|
something sly about him, and he had thoughtful, treacherous eyes.
|
|
Sitting down at the writing-table he scribbled a note to Lord Henry,
|
|
asking him to send him round something to read and reminding him that
|
|
they were to meet at eight-fifteen that evening.
|
|
|
|
"Wait for an answer," he said, handing it to him, "and show the men in
|
|
here."
|
|
|
|
In two or three minutes there was another knock, and Mr. Hubbard
|
|
himself, the celebrated frame-maker of South Audley Street, came in
|
|
with a somewhat rough-looking young assistant. Mr. Hubbard was a
|
|
florid, red-whiskered little man, whose admiration for art was
|
|
considerably tempered by the inveterate impecuniosity of most of the
|
|
artists who dealt with him. As a rule, he never left his shop. He
|
|
waited for people to come to him. But he always made an exception in
|
|
favour of Dorian Gray. There was something about Dorian that charmed
|
|
everybody. It was a pleasure even to see him.
|
|
|
|
"What can I do for you, Mr. Gray?" he said, rubbing his fat freckled
|
|
hands. "I thought I would do myself the honour of coming round in
|
|
person. I have just got a beauty of a frame, sir. Picked it up at a
|
|
sale. Old Florentine. Came from Fonthill, I believe. Admirably
|
|
suited for a religious subject, Mr. Gray."
|
|
|
|
"I am so sorry you have given yourself the trouble of coming round, Mr.
|
|
Hubbard. I shall certainly drop in and look at the frame--though I
|
|
don't go in much at present for religious art--but to-day I only want a
|
|
picture carried to the top of the house for me. It is rather heavy, so
|
|
I thought I would ask you to lend me a couple of your men."
|
|
|
|
"No trouble at all, Mr. Gray. I am delighted to be of any service to
|
|
you. Which is the work of art, sir?"
|
|
|
|
"This," replied Dorian, moving the screen back. "Can you move it,
|
|
covering and all, just as it is? I don't want it to get scratched
|
|
going upstairs."
|
|
|
|
"There will be no difficulty, sir," said the genial frame-maker,
|
|
beginning, with the aid of his assistant, to unhook the picture from
|
|
the long brass chains by which it was suspended. "And, now, where
|
|
shall we carry it to, Mr. Gray?"
|
|
|
|
"I will show you the way, Mr. Hubbard, if you will kindly follow me.
|
|
Or perhaps you had better go in front. I am afraid it is right at the
|
|
top of the house. We will go up by the front staircase, as it is
|
|
wider."
|
|
|
|
He held the door open for them, and they passed out into the hall and
|
|
began the ascent. The elaborate character of the frame had made the
|
|
picture extremely bulky, and now and then, in spite of the obsequious
|
|
protests of Mr. Hubbard, who had the true tradesman's spirited dislike
|
|
of seeing a gentleman doing anything useful, Dorian put his hand to it
|
|
so as to help them.
|
|
|
|
"Something of a load to carry, sir," gasped the little man when they
|
|
reached the top landing. And he wiped his shiny forehead.
|
|
|
|
"I am afraid it is rather heavy," murmured Dorian as he unlocked the
|
|
door that opened into the room that was to keep for him the curious
|
|
secret of his life and hide his soul from the eyes of men.
|
|
|
|
He had not entered the place for more than four years--not, indeed,
|
|
since he had used it first as a play-room when he was a child, and then
|
|
as a study when he grew somewhat older. It was a large,
|
|
well-proportioned room, which had been specially built by the last Lord
|
|
Kelso for the use of the little grandson whom, for his strange likeness
|
|
to his mother, and also for other reasons, he had always hated and
|
|
desired to keep at a distance. It appeared to Dorian to have but
|
|
little changed. There was the huge Italian _cassone_, with its
|
|
fantastically painted panels and its tarnished gilt mouldings, in which
|
|
he had so often hidden himself as a boy. There the satinwood book-case
|
|
filled with his dog-eared schoolbooks. On the wall behind it was
|
|
hanging the same ragged Flemish tapestry where a faded king and queen
|
|
were playing chess in a garden, while a company of hawkers rode by,
|
|
carrying hooded birds on their gauntleted wrists. How well he
|
|
remembered it all! Every moment of his lonely childhood came back to
|
|
him as he looked round. He recalled the stainless purity of his boyish
|
|
life, and it seemed horrible to him that it was here the fatal portrait
|
|
was to be hidden away. How little he had thought, in those dead days,
|
|
of all that was in store for him!
|
|
|
|
But there was no other place in the house so secure from prying eyes as
|
|
this. He had the key, and no one else could enter it. Beneath its
|
|
purple pall, the face painted on the canvas could grow bestial, sodden,
|
|
and unclean. What did it matter? No one could see it. He himself
|
|
would not see it. Why should he watch the hideous corruption of his
|
|
soul? He kept his youth--that was enough. And, besides, might not
|
|
his nature grow finer, after all? There was no reason that the future
|
|
should be so full of shame. Some love might come across his life, and
|
|
purify him, and shield him from those sins that seemed to be already
|
|
stirring in spirit and in flesh--those curious unpictured sins whose
|
|
very mystery lent them their subtlety and their charm. Perhaps, some
|
|
day, the cruel look would have passed away from the scarlet sensitive
|
|
mouth, and he might show to the world Basil Hallward's masterpiece.
|
|
|
|
No; that was impossible. Hour by hour, and week by week, the thing
|
|
upon the canvas was growing old. It might escape the hideousness of
|
|
sin, but the hideousness of age was in store for it. The cheeks would
|
|
become hollow or flaccid. Yellow crow's feet would creep round the
|
|
fading eyes and make them horrible. The hair would lose its
|
|
brightness, the mouth would gape or droop, would be foolish or gross,
|
|
as the mouths of old men are. There would be the wrinkled throat, the
|
|
cold, blue-veined hands, the twisted body, that he remembered in the
|
|
grandfather who had been so stern to him in his boyhood. The picture
|
|
had to be concealed. There was no help for it.
|
|
|
|
"Bring it in, Mr. Hubbard, please," he said, wearily, turning round.
|
|
"I am sorry I kept you so long. I was thinking of something else."
|
|
|
|
"Always glad to have a rest, Mr. Gray," answered the frame-maker, who
|
|
was still gasping for breath. "Where shall we put it, sir?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, anywhere. Here: this will do. I don't want to have it hung up.
|
|
Just lean it against the wall. Thanks."
|
|
|
|
"Might one look at the work of art, sir?"
|
|
|
|
Dorian started. "It would not interest you, Mr. Hubbard," he said,
|
|
keeping his eye on the man. He felt ready to leap upon him and fling
|
|
him to the ground if he dared to lift the gorgeous hanging that
|
|
concealed the secret of his life. "I shan't trouble you any more now.
|
|
I am much obliged for your kindness in coming round."
|
|
|
|
"Not at all, not at all, Mr. Gray. Ever ready to do anything for you,
|
|
sir." And Mr. Hubbard tramped downstairs, followed by the assistant,
|
|
who glanced back at Dorian with a look of shy wonder in his rough
|
|
uncomely face. He had never seen any one so marvellous.
|
|
|
|
When the sound of their footsteps had died away, Dorian locked the door
|
|
and put the key in his pocket. He felt safe now. No one would ever
|
|
look upon the horrible thing. No eye but his would ever see his shame.
|
|
|
|
On reaching the library, he found that it was just after five o'clock
|
|
and that the tea had been already brought up. On a little table of
|
|
dark perfumed wood thickly incrusted with nacre, a present from Lady
|
|
Radley, his guardian's wife, a pretty professional invalid who had
|
|
spent the preceding winter in Cairo, was lying a note from Lord Henry,
|
|
and beside it was a book bound in yellow paper, the cover slightly torn
|
|
and the edges soiled. A copy of the third edition of _The St. James's
|
|
Gazette_ had been placed on the tea-tray. It was evident that Victor had
|
|
returned. He wondered if he had met the men in the hall as they were
|
|
leaving the house and had wormed out of them what they had been doing.
|
|
He would be sure to miss the picture--had no doubt missed it already,
|
|
while he had been laying the tea-things. The screen had not been set
|
|
back, and a blank space was visible on the wall. Perhaps some night he
|
|
might find him creeping upstairs and trying to force the door of the
|
|
room. It was a horrible thing to have a spy in one's house. He had
|
|
heard of rich men who had been blackmailed all their lives by some
|
|
servant who had read a letter, or overheard a conversation, or picked
|
|
up a card with an address, or found beneath a pillow a withered flower
|
|
or a shred of crumpled lace.
|
|
|
|
He sighed, and having poured himself out some tea, opened Lord Henry's
|
|
note. It was simply to say that he sent him round the evening paper,
|
|
and a book that might interest him, and that he would be at the club at
|
|
eight-fifteen. He opened _The St. James's_ languidly, and looked through
|
|
it. A red pencil-mark on the fifth page caught his eye. It drew
|
|
attention to the following paragraph:
|
|
|
|
|
|
INQUEST ON AN ACTRESS.--An inquest was held this morning at the Bell
|
|
Tavern, Hoxton Road, by Mr. Danby, the District Coroner, on the body of
|
|
Sibyl Vane, a young actress recently engaged at the Royal Theatre,
|
|
Holborn. A verdict of death by misadventure was returned.
|
|
Considerable sympathy was expressed for the mother of the deceased, who
|
|
was greatly affected during the giving of her own evidence, and that of
|
|
Dr. Birrell, who had made the post-mortem examination of the deceased.
|
|
|
|
|
|
He frowned, and tearing the paper in two, went across the room and
|
|
flung the pieces away. How ugly it all was! And how horribly real
|
|
ugliness made things! He felt a little annoyed with Lord Henry for
|
|
having sent him the report. And it was certainly stupid of him to have
|
|
marked it with red pencil. Victor might have read it. The man knew
|
|
more than enough English for that.
|
|
|
|
Perhaps he had read it and had begun to suspect something. And, yet,
|
|
what did it matter? What had Dorian Gray to do with Sibyl Vane's
|
|
death? There was nothing to fear. Dorian Gray had not killed her.
|
|
|
|
His eye fell on the yellow book that Lord Henry had sent him. What was
|
|
it, he wondered. He went towards the little, pearl-coloured octagonal
|
|
stand that had always looked to him like the work of some strange
|
|
Egyptian bees that wrought in silver, and taking up the volume, flung
|
|
himself into an arm-chair and began to turn over the leaves. After a
|
|
few minutes he became absorbed. It was the strangest book that he had
|
|
ever read. It seemed to him that in exquisite raiment, and to the
|
|
delicate sound of flutes, the sins of the world were passing in dumb
|
|
show before him. Things that he had dimly dreamed of were suddenly
|
|
made real to him. Things of which he had never dreamed were gradually
|
|
revealed.
|
|
|
|
It was a novel without a plot and with only one character, being,
|
|
indeed, simply a psychological study of a certain young Parisian who
|
|
spent his life trying to realize in the nineteenth century all the
|
|
passions and modes of thought that belonged to every century except his
|
|
own, and to sum up, as it were, in himself the various moods through
|
|
which the world-spirit had ever passed, loving for their mere
|
|
artificiality those renunciations that men have unwisely called virtue,
|
|
as much as those natural rebellions that wise men still call sin. The
|
|
style in which it was written was that curious jewelled style, vivid
|
|
and obscure at once, full of _argot_ and of archaisms, of technical
|
|
expressions and of elaborate paraphrases, that characterizes the work
|
|
of some of the finest artists of the French school of _Symbolistes_.
|
|
There were in it metaphors as monstrous as orchids and as subtle in
|
|
colour. The life of the senses was described in the terms of mystical
|
|
philosophy. One hardly knew at times whether one was reading the
|
|
spiritual ecstasies of some mediaeval saint or the morbid confessions
|
|
of a modern sinner. It was a poisonous book. The heavy odour of
|
|
incense seemed to cling about its pages and to trouble the brain. The
|
|
mere cadence of the sentences, the subtle monotony of their music, so
|
|
full as it was of complex refrains and movements elaborately repeated,
|
|
produced in the mind of the lad, as he passed from chapter to chapter,
|
|
a form of reverie, a malady of dreaming, that made him unconscious of
|
|
the falling day and creeping shadows.
|
|
|
|
Cloudless, and pierced by one solitary star, a copper-green sky gleamed
|
|
through the windows. He read on by its wan light till he could read no
|
|
more. Then, after his valet had reminded him several times of the
|
|
lateness of the hour, he got up, and going into the next room, placed
|
|
the book on the little Florentine table that always stood at his
|
|
bedside and began to dress for dinner.
|
|
|
|
It was almost nine o'clock before he reached the club, where he found
|
|
Lord Henry sitting alone, in the morning-room, looking very much bored.
|
|
|
|
"I am so sorry, Harry," he cried, "but really it is entirely your
|
|
fault. That book you sent me so fascinated me that I forgot how the
|
|
time was going."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I thought you would like it," replied his host, rising from his
|
|
chair.
|
|
|
|
"I didn't say I liked it, Harry. I said it fascinated me. There is a
|
|
great difference."
|
|
|
|
"Ah, you have discovered that?" murmured Lord Henry. And they passed
|
|
into the dining-room.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 11
|
|
|
|
For years, Dorian Gray could not free himself from the influence of
|
|
this book. Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that he never
|
|
sought to free himself from it. He procured from Paris no less than
|
|
nine large-paper copies of the first edition, and had them bound in
|
|
different colours, so that they might suit his various moods and the
|
|
changing fancies of a nature over which he seemed, at times, to have
|
|
almost entirely lost control. The hero, the wonderful young Parisian
|
|
in whom the romantic and the scientific temperaments were so strangely
|
|
blended, became to him a kind of prefiguring type of himself. And,
|
|
indeed, the whole book seemed to him to contain the story of his own
|
|
life, written before he had lived it.
|
|
|
|
In one point he was more fortunate than the novel's fantastic hero. He
|
|
never knew--never, indeed, had any cause to know--that somewhat
|
|
grotesque dread of mirrors, and polished metal surfaces, and still
|
|
water which came upon the young Parisian so early in his life, and was
|
|
occasioned by the sudden decay of a beau that had once, apparently,
|
|
been so remarkable. It was with an almost cruel joy--and perhaps in
|
|
nearly every joy, as certainly in every pleasure, cruelty has its
|
|
place--that he used to read the latter part of the book, with its
|
|
really tragic, if somewhat overemphasized, account of the sorrow and
|
|
despair of one who had himself lost what in others, and the world, he
|
|
had most dearly valued.
|
|
|
|
For the wonderful beauty that had so fascinated Basil Hallward, and
|
|
many others besides him, seemed never to leave him. Even those who had
|
|
heard the most evil things against him--and from time to time strange
|
|
rumours about his mode of life crept through London and became the
|
|
chatter of the clubs--could not believe anything to his dishonour when
|
|
they saw him. He had always the look of one who had kept himself
|
|
unspotted from the world. Men who talked grossly became silent when
|
|
Dorian Gray entered the room. There was something in the purity of his
|
|
face that rebuked them. His mere presence seemed to recall to them the
|
|
memory of the innocence that they had tarnished. They wondered how one
|
|
so charming and graceful as he was could have escaped the stain of an
|
|
age that was at once sordid and sensual.
|
|
|
|
Often, on returning home from one of those mysterious and prolonged
|
|
absences that gave rise to such strange conjecture among those who were
|
|
his friends, or thought that they were so, he himself would creep
|
|
upstairs to the locked room, open the door with the key that never left
|
|
him now, and stand, with a mirror, in front of the portrait that Basil
|
|
Hallward had painted of him, looking now at the evil and aging face on
|
|
the canvas, and now at the fair young face that laughed back at him
|
|
from the polished glass. The very sharpness of the contrast used to
|
|
quicken his sense of pleasure. He grew more and more enamoured of his
|
|
own beauty, more and more interested in the corruption of his own soul.
|
|
He would examine with minute care, and sometimes with a monstrous and
|
|
terrible delight, the hideous lines that seared the wrinkling forehead
|
|
or crawled around the heavy sensual mouth, wondering sometimes which
|
|
were the more horrible, the signs of sin or the signs of age. He would
|
|
place his white hands beside the coarse bloated hands of the picture,
|
|
and smile. He mocked the misshapen body and the failing limbs.
|
|
|
|
There were moments, indeed, at night, when, lying sleepless in his own
|
|
delicately scented chamber, or in the sordid room of the little
|
|
ill-famed tavern near the docks which, under an assumed name and in
|
|
disguise, it was his habit to frequent, he would think of the ruin he
|
|
had brought upon his soul with a pity that was all the more poignant
|
|
because it was purely selfish. But moments such as these were rare.
|
|
That curiosity about life which Lord Henry had first stirred in him, as
|
|
they sat together in the garden of their friend, seemed to increase
|
|
with gratification. The more he knew, the more he desired to know. He
|
|
had mad hungers that grew more ravenous as he fed them.
|
|
|
|
Yet he was not really reckless, at any rate in his relations to
|
|
society. Once or twice every month during the winter, and on each
|
|
Wednesday evening while the season lasted, he would throw open to the
|
|
world his beautiful house and have the most celebrated musicians of the
|
|
day to charm his guests with the wonders of their art. His little
|
|
dinners, in the settling of which Lord Henry always assisted him, were
|
|
noted as much for the careful selection and placing of those invited,
|
|
as for the exquisite taste shown in the decoration of the table, with
|
|
its subtle symphonic arrangements of exotic flowers, and embroidered
|
|
cloths, and antique plate of gold and silver. Indeed, there were many,
|
|
especially among the very young men, who saw, or fancied that they saw,
|
|
in Dorian Gray the true realization of a type of which they had often
|
|
dreamed in Eton or Oxford days, a type that was to combine something of
|
|
the real culture of the scholar with all the grace and distinction and
|
|
perfect manner of a citizen of the world. To them he seemed to be of
|
|
the company of those whom Dante describes as having sought to "make
|
|
themselves perfect by the worship of beauty." Like Gautier, he was one
|
|
for whom "the visible world existed."
|
|
|
|
And, certainly, to him life itself was the first, the greatest, of the
|
|
arts, and for it all the other arts seemed to be but a preparation.
|
|
Fashion, by which what is really fantastic becomes for a moment
|
|
universal, and dandyism, which, in its own way, is an attempt to assert
|
|
the absolute modernity of beauty, had, of course, their fascination for
|
|
him. His mode of dressing, and the particular styles that from time to
|
|
time he affected, had their marked influence on the young exquisites of
|
|
the Mayfair balls and Pall Mall club windows, who copied him in
|
|
everything that he did, and tried to reproduce the accidental charm of
|
|
his graceful, though to him only half-serious, fopperies.
|
|
|
|
For, while he was but too ready to accept the position that was almost
|
|
immediately offered to him on his coming of age, and found, indeed, a
|
|
subtle pleasure in the thought that he might really become to the
|
|
London of his own day what to imperial Neronian Rome the author of the
|
|
Satyricon once had been, yet in his inmost heart he desired to be
|
|
something more than a mere _arbiter elegantiarum_, to be consulted on the
|
|
wearing of a jewel, or the knotting of a necktie, or the conduct of a
|
|
cane. He sought to elaborate some new scheme of life that would have
|
|
its reasoned philosophy and its ordered principles, and find in the
|
|
spiritualizing of the senses its highest realization.
|
|
|
|
The worship of the senses has often, and with much justice, been
|
|
decried, men feeling a natural instinct of terror about passions and
|
|
sensations that seem stronger than themselves, and that they are
|
|
conscious of sharing with the less highly organized forms of existence.
|
|
But it appeared to Dorian Gray that the true nature of the senses had
|
|
never been understood, and that they had remained savage and animal
|
|
merely because the world had sought to starve them into submission or
|
|
to kill them by pain, instead of aiming at making them elements of a
|
|
new spirituality, of which a fine instinct for beauty was to be the
|
|
dominant characteristic. As he looked back upon man moving through
|
|
history, he was haunted by a feeling of loss. So much had been
|
|
surrendered! and to such little purpose! There had been mad wilful
|
|
rejections, monstrous forms of self-torture and self-denial, whose
|
|
origin was fear and whose result was a degradation infinitely more
|
|
terrible than that fancied degradation from which, in their ignorance,
|
|
they had sought to escape; Nature, in her wonderful irony, driving out
|
|
the anchorite to feed with the wild animals of the desert and giving to
|
|
the hermit the beasts of the field as his companions.
|
|
|
|
Yes: there was to be, as Lord Henry had prophesied, a new Hedonism
|
|
that was to recreate life and to save it from that harsh uncomely
|
|
puritanism that is having, in our own day, its curious revival. It was
|
|
to have its service of the intellect, certainly, yet it was never to
|
|
accept any theory or system that would involve the sacrifice of any
|
|
mode of passionate experience. Its aim, indeed, was to be experience
|
|
itself, and not the fruits of experience, sweet or bitter as they might
|
|
be. Of the asceticism that deadens the senses, as of the vulgar
|
|
profligacy that dulls them, it was to know nothing. But it was to
|
|
teach man to concentrate himself upon the moments of a life that is
|
|
itself but a moment.
|
|
|
|
There are few of us who have not sometimes wakened before dawn, either
|
|
after one of those dreamless nights that make us almost enamoured of
|
|
death, or one of those nights of horror and misshapen joy, when through
|
|
the chambers of the brain sweep phantoms more terrible than reality
|
|
itself, and instinct with that vivid life that lurks in all grotesques,
|
|
and that lends to Gothic art its enduring vitality, this art being, one
|
|
might fancy, especially the art of those whose minds have been troubled
|
|
with the malady of reverie. Gradually white fingers creep through the
|
|
curtains, and they appear to tremble. In black fantastic shapes, dumb
|
|
shadows crawl into the corners of the room and crouch there. Outside,
|
|
there is the stirring of birds among the leaves, or the sound of men
|
|
going forth to their work, or the sigh and sob of the wind coming down
|
|
from the hills and wandering round the silent house, as though it
|
|
feared to wake the sleepers and yet must needs call forth sleep from
|
|
her purple cave. Veil after veil of thin dusky gauze is lifted, and by
|
|
degrees the forms and colours of things are restored to them, and we
|
|
watch the dawn remaking the world in its antique pattern. The wan
|
|
mirrors get back their mimic life. The flameless tapers stand where we
|
|
had left them, and beside them lies the half-cut book that we had been
|
|
studying, or the wired flower that we had worn at the ball, or the
|
|
letter that we had been afraid to read, or that we had read too often.
|
|
Nothing seems to us changed. Out of the unreal shadows of the night
|
|
comes back the real life that we had known. We have to resume it where
|
|
we had left off, and there steals over us a terrible sense of the
|
|
necessity for the continuance of energy in the same wearisome round of
|
|
stereotyped habits, or a wild longing, it may be, that our eyelids
|
|
might open some morning upon a world that had been refashioned anew in
|
|
the darkness for our pleasure, a world in which things would have fresh
|
|
shapes and colours, and be changed, or have other secrets, a world in
|
|
which the past would have little or no place, or survive, at any rate,
|
|
in no conscious form of obligation or regret, the remembrance even of
|
|
joy having its bitterness and the memories of pleasure their pain.
|
|
|
|
It was the creation of such worlds as these that seemed to Dorian Gray
|
|
to be the true object, or amongst the true objects, of life; and in his
|
|
search for sensations that would be at once new and delightful, and
|
|
possess that element of strangeness that is so essential to romance, he
|
|
would often adopt certain modes of thought that he knew to be really
|
|
alien to his nature, abandon himself to their subtle influences, and
|
|
then, having, as it were, caught their colour and satisfied his
|
|
intellectual curiosity, leave them with that curious indifference that
|
|
is not incompatible with a real ardour of temperament, and that,
|
|
indeed, according to certain modern psychologists, is often a condition
|
|
of it.
|
|
|
|
It was rumoured of him once that he was about to join the Roman
|
|
Catholic communion, and certainly the Roman ritual had always a great
|
|
attraction for him. The daily sacrifice, more awful really than all
|
|
the sacrifices of the antique world, stirred him as much by its superb
|
|
rejection of the evidence of the senses as by the primitive simplicity
|
|
of its elements and the eternal pathos of the human tragedy that it
|
|
sought to symbolize. He loved to kneel down on the cold marble
|
|
pavement and watch the priest, in his stiff flowered dalmatic, slowly
|
|
and with white hands moving aside the veil of the tabernacle, or
|
|
raising aloft the jewelled, lantern-shaped monstrance with that pallid
|
|
wafer that at times, one would fain think, is indeed the "_panis
|
|
caelestis_," the bread of angels, or, robed in the garments of the
|
|
Passion of Christ, breaking the Host into the chalice and smiting his
|
|
breast for his sins. The fuming censers that the grave boys, in their
|
|
lace and scarlet, tossed into the air like great gilt flowers had their
|
|
subtle fascination for him. As he passed out, he used to look with
|
|
wonder at the black confessionals and long to sit in the dim shadow of
|
|
one of them and listen to men and women whispering through the worn
|
|
grating the true story of their lives.
|
|
|
|
But he never fell into the error of arresting his intellectual
|
|
development by any formal acceptance of creed or system, or of
|
|
mistaking, for a house in which to live, an inn that is but suitable
|
|
for the sojourn of a night, or for a few hours of a night in which
|
|
there are no stars and the moon is in travail. Mysticism, with its
|
|
marvellous power of making common things strange to us, and the subtle
|
|
antinomianism that always seems to accompany it, moved him for a
|
|
season; and for a season he inclined to the materialistic doctrines of
|
|
the _Darwinismus_ movement in Germany, and found a curious pleasure in
|
|
tracing the thoughts and passions of men to some pearly cell in the
|
|
brain, or some white nerve in the body, delighting in the conception of
|
|
the absolute dependence of the spirit on certain physical conditions,
|
|
morbid or healthy, normal or diseased. Yet, as has been said of him
|
|
before, no theory of life seemed to him to be of any importance
|
|
compared with life itself. He felt keenly conscious of how barren all
|
|
intellectual speculation is when separated from action and experiment.
|
|
He knew that the senses, no less than the soul, have their spiritual
|
|
mysteries to reveal.
|
|
|
|
And so he would now study perfumes and the secrets of their
|
|
manufacture, distilling heavily scented oils and burning odorous gums
|
|
from the East. He saw that there was no mood of the mind that had not
|
|
its counterpart in the sensuous life, and set himself to discover their
|
|
true relations, wondering what there was in frankincense that made one
|
|
mystical, and in ambergris that stirred one's passions, and in violets
|
|
that woke the memory of dead romances, and in musk that troubled the
|
|
brain, and in champak that stained the imagination; and seeking often
|
|
to elaborate a real psychology of perfumes, and to estimate the several
|
|
influences of sweet-smelling roots and scented, pollen-laden flowers;
|
|
of aromatic balms and of dark and fragrant woods; of spikenard, that
|
|
sickens; of hovenia, that makes men mad; and of aloes, that are said to
|
|
be able to expel melancholy from the soul.
|
|
|
|
At another time he devoted himself entirely to music, and in a long
|
|
latticed room, with a vermilion-and-gold ceiling and walls of
|
|
olive-green lacquer, he used to give curious concerts in which mad
|
|
gipsies tore wild music from little zithers, or grave, yellow-shawled
|
|
Tunisians plucked at the strained strings of monstrous lutes, while
|
|
grinning Negroes beat monotonously upon copper drums and, crouching
|
|
upon scarlet mats, slim turbaned Indians blew through long pipes of
|
|
reed or brass and charmed--or feigned to charm--great hooded snakes and
|
|
horrible horned adders. The harsh intervals and shrill discords of
|
|
barbaric music stirred him at times when Schubert's grace, and Chopin's
|
|
beautiful sorrows, and the mighty harmonies of Beethoven himself, fell
|
|
unheeded on his ear. He collected together from all parts of the world
|
|
the strangest instruments that could be found, either in the tombs of
|
|
dead nations or among the few savage tribes that have survived contact
|
|
with Western civilizations, and loved to touch and try them. He had
|
|
the mysterious _juruparis_ of the Rio Negro Indians, that women are not
|
|
allowed to look at and that even youths may not see till they have been
|
|
subjected to fasting and scourging, and the earthen jars of the
|
|
Peruvians that have the shrill cries of birds, and flutes of human
|
|
bones such as Alfonso de Ovalle heard in Chile, and the sonorous green
|
|
jaspers that are found near Cuzco and give forth a note of singular
|
|
sweetness. He had painted gourds filled with pebbles that rattled when
|
|
they were shaken; the long _clarin_ of the Mexicans, into which the
|
|
performer does not blow, but through which he inhales the air; the
|
|
harsh _ture_ of the Amazon tribes, that is sounded by the sentinels who
|
|
sit all day long in high trees, and can be heard, it is said, at a
|
|
distance of three leagues; the _teponaztli_, that has two vibrating
|
|
tongues of wood and is beaten with sticks that are smeared with an
|
|
elastic gum obtained from the milky juice of plants; the _yotl_-bells of
|
|
the Aztecs, that are hung in clusters like grapes; and a huge
|
|
cylindrical drum, covered with the skins of great serpents, like the
|
|
one that Bernal Diaz saw when he went with Cortes into the Mexican
|
|
temple, and of whose doleful sound he has left us so vivid a
|
|
description. The fantastic character of these instruments fascinated
|
|
him, and he felt a curious delight in the thought that art, like
|
|
Nature, has her monsters, things of bestial shape and with hideous
|
|
voices. Yet, after some time, he wearied of them, and would sit in his
|
|
box at the opera, either alone or with Lord Henry, listening in rapt
|
|
pleasure to "Tannhauser" and seeing in the prelude to that great work
|
|
of art a presentation of the tragedy of his own soul.
|
|
|
|
On one occasion he took up the study of jewels, and appeared at a
|
|
costume ball as Anne de Joyeuse, Admiral of France, in a dress covered
|
|
with five hundred and sixty pearls. This taste enthralled him for
|
|
years, and, indeed, may be said never to have left him. He would often
|
|
spend a whole day settling and resettling in their cases the various
|
|
stones that he had collected, such as the olive-green chrysoberyl that
|
|
turns red by lamplight, the cymophane with its wirelike line of silver,
|
|
the pistachio-coloured peridot, rose-pink and wine-yellow topazes,
|
|
carbuncles of fiery scarlet with tremulous, four-rayed stars, flame-red
|
|
cinnamon-stones, orange and violet spinels, and amethysts with their
|
|
alternate layers of ruby and sapphire. He loved the red gold of the
|
|
sunstone, and the moonstone's pearly whiteness, and the broken rainbow
|
|
of the milky opal. He procured from Amsterdam three emeralds of
|
|
extraordinary size and richness of colour, and had a turquoise _de la
|
|
vieille roche_ that was the envy of all the connoisseurs.
|
|
|
|
He discovered wonderful stories, also, about jewels. In Alphonso's
|
|
Clericalis Disciplina a serpent was mentioned with eyes of real
|
|
jacinth, and in the romantic history of Alexander, the Conqueror of
|
|
Emathia was said to have found in the vale of Jordan snakes "with
|
|
collars of real emeralds growing on their backs." There was a gem in
|
|
the brain of the dragon, Philostratus told us, and "by the exhibition
|
|
of golden letters and a scarlet robe" the monster could be thrown into
|
|
a magical sleep and slain. According to the great alchemist, Pierre de
|
|
Boniface, the diamond rendered a man invisible, and the agate of India
|
|
made him eloquent. The cornelian appeased anger, and the hyacinth
|
|
provoked sleep, and the amethyst drove away the fumes of wine. The
|
|
garnet cast out demons, and the hydropicus deprived the moon of her
|
|
colour. The selenite waxed and waned with the moon, and the meloceus,
|
|
that discovers thieves, could be affected only by the blood of kids.
|
|
Leonardus Camillus had seen a white stone taken from the brain of a
|
|
newly killed toad, that was a certain antidote against poison. The
|
|
bezoar, that was found in the heart of the Arabian deer, was a charm
|
|
that could cure the plague. In the nests of Arabian birds was the
|
|
aspilates, that, according to Democritus, kept the wearer from any
|
|
danger by fire.
|
|
|
|
The King of Ceilan rode through his city with a large ruby in his hand,
|
|
as the ceremony of his coronation. The gates of the palace of John the
|
|
Priest were "made of sardius, with the horn of the horned snake
|
|
inwrought, so that no man might bring poison within." Over the gable
|
|
were "two golden apples, in which were two carbuncles," so that the
|
|
gold might shine by day and the carbuncles by night. In Lodge's
|
|
strange romance 'A Margarite of America', it was stated that in the
|
|
chamber of the queen one could behold "all the chaste ladies of the
|
|
world, inchased out of silver, looking through fair mirrours of
|
|
chrysolites, carbuncles, sapphires, and greene emeraults." Marco Polo
|
|
had seen the inhabitants of Zipangu place rose-coloured pearls in the
|
|
mouths of the dead. A sea-monster had been enamoured of the pearl that
|
|
the diver brought to King Perozes, and had slain the thief, and mourned
|
|
for seven moons over its loss. When the Huns lured the king into the
|
|
great pit, he flung it away--Procopius tells the story--nor was it ever
|
|
found again, though the Emperor Anastasius offered five hundred-weight
|
|
of gold pieces for it. The King of Malabar had shown to a certain
|
|
Venetian a rosary of three hundred and four pearls, one for every god
|
|
that he worshipped.
|
|
|
|
When the Duke de Valentinois, son of Alexander VI, visited Louis XII of
|
|
France, his horse was loaded with gold leaves, according to Brantome,
|
|
and his cap had double rows of rubies that threw out a great light.
|
|
Charles of England had ridden in stirrups hung with four hundred and
|
|
twenty-one diamonds. Richard II had a coat, valued at thirty thousand
|
|
marks, which was covered with balas rubies. Hall described Henry VIII,
|
|
on his way to the Tower previous to his coronation, as wearing "a
|
|
jacket of raised gold, the placard embroidered with diamonds and other
|
|
rich stones, and a great bauderike about his neck of large balasses."
|
|
The favourites of James I wore ear-rings of emeralds set in gold
|
|
filigrane. Edward II gave to Piers Gaveston a suit of red-gold armour
|
|
studded with jacinths, a collar of gold roses set with
|
|
turquoise-stones, and a skull-cap _parseme_ with pearls. Henry II wore
|
|
jewelled gloves reaching to the elbow, and had a hawk-glove sewn with
|
|
twelve rubies and fifty-two great orients. The ducal hat of Charles
|
|
the Rash, the last Duke of Burgundy of his race, was hung with
|
|
pear-shaped pearls and studded with sapphires.
|
|
|
|
How exquisite life had once been! How gorgeous in its pomp and
|
|
decoration! Even to read of the luxury of the dead was wonderful.
|
|
|
|
Then he turned his attention to embroideries and to the tapestries that
|
|
performed the office of frescoes in the chill rooms of the northern
|
|
nations of Europe. As he investigated the subject--and he always had
|
|
an extraordinary faculty of becoming absolutely absorbed for the moment
|
|
in whatever he took up--he was almost saddened by the reflection of the
|
|
ruin that time brought on beautiful and wonderful things. He, at any
|
|
rate, had escaped that. Summer followed summer, and the yellow
|
|
jonquils bloomed and died many times, and nights of horror repeated the
|
|
story of their shame, but he was unchanged. No winter marred his face
|
|
or stained his flowerlike bloom. How different it was with material
|
|
things! Where had they passed to? Where was the great crocus-coloured
|
|
robe, on which the gods fought against the giants, that had been worked
|
|
by brown girls for the pleasure of Athena? Where the huge velarium
|
|
that Nero had stretched across the Colosseum at Rome, that Titan sail
|
|
of purple on which was represented the starry sky, and Apollo driving a
|
|
chariot drawn by white, gilt-reined steeds? He longed to see the
|
|
curious table-napkins wrought for the Priest of the Sun, on which were
|
|
displayed all the dainties and viands that could be wanted for a feast;
|
|
the mortuary cloth of King Chilperic, with its three hundred golden
|
|
bees; the fantastic robes that excited the indignation of the Bishop of
|
|
Pontus and were figured with "lions, panthers, bears, dogs, forests,
|
|
rocks, hunters--all, in fact, that a painter can copy from nature"; and
|
|
the coat that Charles of Orleans once wore, on the sleeves of which
|
|
were embroidered the verses of a song beginning "_Madame, je suis tout
|
|
joyeux_," the musical accompaniment of the words being wrought in gold
|
|
thread, and each note, of square shape in those days, formed with four
|
|
pearls. He read of the room that was prepared at the palace at Rheims
|
|
for the use of Queen Joan of Burgundy and was decorated with "thirteen
|
|
hundred and twenty-one parrots, made in broidery, and blazoned with the
|
|
king's arms, and five hundred and sixty-one butterflies, whose wings
|
|
were similarly ornamented with the arms of the queen, the whole worked
|
|
in gold." Catherine de Medicis had a mourning-bed made for her of
|
|
black velvet powdered with crescents and suns. Its curtains were of
|
|
damask, with leafy wreaths and garlands, figured upon a gold and silver
|
|
ground, and fringed along the edges with broideries of pearls, and it
|
|
stood in a room hung with rows of the queen's devices in cut black
|
|
velvet upon cloth of silver. Louis XIV had gold embroidered caryatides
|
|
fifteen feet high in his apartment. The state bed of Sobieski, King of
|
|
Poland, was made of Smyrna gold brocade embroidered in turquoises with
|
|
verses from the Koran. Its supports were of silver gilt, beautifully
|
|
chased, and profusely set with enamelled and jewelled medallions. It
|
|
had been taken from the Turkish camp before Vienna, and the standard of
|
|
Mohammed had stood beneath the tremulous gilt of its canopy.
|
|
|
|
And so, for a whole year, he sought to accumulate the most exquisite
|
|
specimens that he could find of textile and embroidered work, getting
|
|
the dainty Delhi muslins, finely wrought with gold-thread palmates and
|
|
stitched over with iridescent beetles' wings; the Dacca gauzes, that
|
|
from their transparency are known in the East as "woven air," and
|
|
"running water," and "evening dew"; strange figured cloths from Java;
|
|
elaborate yellow Chinese hangings; books bound in tawny satins or fair
|
|
blue silks and wrought with _fleurs-de-lis_, birds and images; veils of
|
|
_lacis_ worked in Hungary point; Sicilian brocades and stiff Spanish
|
|
velvets; Georgian work, with its gilt coins, and Japanese _Foukousas_,
|
|
with their green-toned golds and their marvellously plumaged birds.
|
|
|
|
He had a special passion, also, for ecclesiastical vestments, as indeed
|
|
he had for everything connected with the service of the Church. In the
|
|
long cedar chests that lined the west gallery of his house, he had
|
|
stored away many rare and beautiful specimens of what is really the
|
|
raiment of the Bride of Christ, who must wear purple and jewels and
|
|
fine linen that she may hide the pallid macerated body that is worn by
|
|
the suffering that she seeks for and wounded by self-inflicted pain.
|
|
He possessed a gorgeous cope of crimson silk and gold-thread damask,
|
|
figured with a repeating pattern of golden pomegranates set in
|
|
six-petalled formal blossoms, beyond which on either side was the
|
|
pine-apple device wrought in seed-pearls. The orphreys were divided
|
|
into panels representing scenes from the life of the Virgin, and the
|
|
coronation of the Virgin was figured in coloured silks upon the hood.
|
|
This was Italian work of the fifteenth century. Another cope was of
|
|
green velvet, embroidered with heart-shaped groups of acanthus-leaves,
|
|
from which spread long-stemmed white blossoms, the details of which
|
|
were picked out with silver thread and coloured crystals. The morse
|
|
bore a seraph's head in gold-thread raised work. The orphreys were
|
|
woven in a diaper of red and gold silk, and were starred with
|
|
medallions of many saints and martyrs, among whom was St. Sebastian.
|
|
He had chasubles, also, of amber-coloured silk, and blue silk and gold
|
|
brocade, and yellow silk damask and cloth of gold, figured with
|
|
representations of the Passion and Crucifixion of Christ, and
|
|
embroidered with lions and peacocks and other emblems; dalmatics of
|
|
white satin and pink silk damask, decorated with tulips and dolphins
|
|
and _fleurs-de-lis_; altar frontals of crimson velvet and blue linen; and
|
|
many corporals, chalice-veils, and sudaria. In the mystic offices to
|
|
which such things were put, there was something that quickened his
|
|
imagination.
|
|
|
|
For these treasures, and everything that he collected in his lovely
|
|
house, were to be to him means of forgetfulness, modes by which he
|
|
could escape, for a season, from the fear that seemed to him at times
|
|
to be almost too great to be borne. Upon the walls of the lonely
|
|
locked room where he had spent so much of his boyhood, he had hung with
|
|
his own hands the terrible portrait whose changing features showed him
|
|
the real degradation of his life, and in front of it had draped the
|
|
purple-and-gold pall as a curtain. For weeks he would not go there,
|
|
would forget the hideous painted thing, and get back his light heart,
|
|
his wonderful joyousness, his passionate absorption in mere existence.
|
|
Then, suddenly, some night he would creep out of the house, go down to
|
|
dreadful places near Blue Gate Fields, and stay there, day after day,
|
|
until he was driven away. On his return he would sit in front of the
|
|
picture, sometimes loathing it and himself, but filled, at other
|
|
times, with that pride of individualism that is half the
|
|
fascination of sin, and smiling with secret pleasure at the misshapen
|
|
shadow that had to bear the burden that should have been his own.
|
|
|
|
After a few years he could not endure to be long out of England, and
|
|
gave up the villa that he had shared at Trouville with Lord Henry, as
|
|
well as the little white walled-in house at Algiers where they had more
|
|
than once spent the winter. He hated to be separated from the picture
|
|
that was such a part of his life, and was also afraid that during his
|
|
absence some one might gain access to the room, in spite of the
|
|
elaborate bars that he had caused to be placed upon the door.
|
|
|
|
He was quite conscious that this would tell them nothing. It was true
|
|
that the portrait still preserved, under all the foulness and ugliness
|
|
of the face, its marked likeness to himself; but what could they learn
|
|
from that? He would laugh at any one who tried to taunt him. He had
|
|
not painted it. What was it to him how vile and full of shame it
|
|
looked? Even if he told them, would they believe it?
|
|
|
|
Yet he was afraid. Sometimes when he was down at his great house in
|
|
Nottinghamshire, entertaining the fashionable young men of his own rank
|
|
who were his chief companions, and astounding the county by the wanton
|
|
luxury and gorgeous splendour of his mode of life, he would suddenly
|
|
leave his guests and rush back to town to see that the door had not
|
|
been tampered with and that the picture was still there. What if it
|
|
should be stolen? The mere thought made him cold with horror. Surely
|
|
the world would know his secret then. Perhaps the world already
|
|
suspected it.
|
|
|
|
For, while he fascinated many, there were not a few who distrusted him.
|
|
He was very nearly blackballed at a West End club of which his birth
|
|
and social position fully entitled him to become a member, and it was
|
|
said that on one occasion, when he was brought by a friend into the
|
|
smoking-room of the Churchill, the Duke of Berwick and another
|
|
gentleman got up in a marked manner and went out. Curious stories
|
|
became current about him after he had passed his twenty-fifth year. It
|
|
was rumoured that he had been seen brawling with foreign sailors in a
|
|
low den in the distant parts of Whitechapel, and that he consorted with
|
|
thieves and coiners and knew the mysteries of their trade. His
|
|
extraordinary absences became notorious, and, when he used to reappear
|
|
again in society, men would whisper to each other in corners, or pass
|
|
him with a sneer, or look at him with cold searching eyes, as though
|
|
they were determined to discover his secret.
|
|
|
|
Of such insolences and attempted slights he, of course, took no notice,
|
|
and in the opinion of most people his frank debonair manner, his
|
|
charming boyish smile, and the infinite grace of that wonderful youth
|
|
that seemed never to leave him, were in themselves a sufficient answer
|
|
to the calumnies, for so they termed them, that were circulated about
|
|
him. It was remarked, however, that some of those who had been most
|
|
intimate with him appeared, after a time, to shun him. Women who had
|
|
wildly adored him, and for his sake had braved all social censure and
|
|
set convention at defiance, were seen to grow pallid with shame or
|
|
horror if Dorian Gray entered the room.
|
|
|
|
Yet these whispered scandals only increased in the eyes of many his
|
|
strange and dangerous charm. His great wealth was a certain element of
|
|
security. Society--civilized society, at least--is never very ready to
|
|
believe anything to the detriment of those who are both rich and
|
|
fascinating. It feels instinctively that manners are of more
|
|
importance than morals, and, in its opinion, the highest respectability
|
|
is of much less value than the possession of a good _chef_. And, after
|
|
all, it is a very poor consolation to be told that the man who has
|
|
given one a bad dinner, or poor wine, is irreproachable in his private
|
|
life. Even the cardinal virtues cannot atone for half-cold _entrees_, as
|
|
Lord Henry remarked once, in a discussion on the subject, and there is
|
|
possibly a good deal to be said for his view. For the canons of good
|
|
society are, or should be, the same as the canons of art. Form is
|
|
absolutely essential to it. It should have the dignity of a ceremony,
|
|
as well as its unreality, and should combine the insincere character of
|
|
a romantic play with the wit and beauty that make such plays delightful
|
|
to us. Is insincerity such a terrible thing? I think not. It is
|
|
merely a method by which we can multiply our personalities.
|
|
|
|
Such, at any rate, was Dorian Gray's opinion. He used to wonder at the
|
|
shallow psychology of those who conceive the ego in man as a thing
|
|
simple, permanent, reliable, and of one essence. To him, man was a
|
|
being with myriad lives and myriad sensations, a complex multiform
|
|
creature that bore within itself strange legacies of thought and
|
|
passion, and whose very flesh was tainted with the monstrous maladies
|
|
of the dead. He loved to stroll through the gaunt cold picture-gallery
|
|
of his country house and look at the various portraits of those whose
|
|
blood flowed in his veins. Here was Philip Herbert, described by
|
|
Francis Osborne, in his Memoires on the Reigns of Queen Elizabeth and
|
|
King James, as one who was "caressed by the Court for his handsome
|
|
face, which kept him not long company." Was it young Herbert's life
|
|
that he sometimes led? Had some strange poisonous germ crept from body
|
|
to body till it had reached his own? Was it some dim sense of that
|
|
ruined grace that had made him so suddenly, and almost without cause,
|
|
give utterance, in Basil Hallward's studio, to the mad prayer that had
|
|
so changed his life? Here, in gold-embroidered red doublet, jewelled
|
|
surcoat, and gilt-edged ruff and wristbands, stood Sir Anthony Sherard,
|
|
with his silver-and-black armour piled at his feet. What had this
|
|
man's legacy been? Had the lover of Giovanna of Naples bequeathed him
|
|
some inheritance of sin and shame? Were his own actions merely the
|
|
dreams that the dead man had not dared to realize? Here, from the
|
|
fading canvas, smiled Lady Elizabeth Devereux, in her gauze hood, pearl
|
|
stomacher, and pink slashed sleeves. A flower was in her right hand,
|
|
and her left clasped an enamelled collar of white and damask roses. On
|
|
a table by her side lay a mandolin and an apple. There were large
|
|
green rosettes upon her little pointed shoes. He knew her life, and
|
|
the strange stories that were told about her lovers. Had he something
|
|
of her temperament in him? These oval, heavy-lidded eyes seemed to
|
|
look curiously at him. What of George Willoughby, with his powdered
|
|
hair and fantastic patches? How evil he looked! The face was
|
|
saturnine and swarthy, and the sensual lips seemed to be twisted with
|
|
disdain. Delicate lace ruffles fell over the lean yellow hands that
|
|
were so overladen with rings. He had been a macaroni of the eighteenth
|
|
century, and the friend, in his youth, of Lord Ferrars. What of the
|
|
second Lord Beckenham, the companion of the Prince Regent in his
|
|
wildest days, and one of the witnesses at the secret marriage with Mrs.
|
|
Fitzherbert? How proud and handsome he was, with his chestnut curls
|
|
and insolent pose! What passions had he bequeathed? The world had
|
|
looked upon him as infamous. He had led the orgies at Carlton House.
|
|
The star of the Garter glittered upon his breast. Beside him hung the
|
|
portrait of his wife, a pallid, thin-lipped woman in black. Her blood,
|
|
also, stirred within him. How curious it all seemed! And his mother
|
|
with her Lady Hamilton face and her moist, wine-dashed lips--he knew
|
|
what he had got from her. He had got from her his beauty, and his
|
|
passion for the beauty of others. She laughed at him in her loose
|
|
Bacchante dress. There were vine leaves in her hair. The purple
|
|
spilled from the cup she was holding. The carnations of the painting
|
|
had withered, but the eyes were still wonderful in their depth and
|
|
brilliancy of colour. They seemed to follow him wherever he went.
|
|
|
|
Yet one had ancestors in literature as well as in one's own race,
|
|
nearer perhaps in type and temperament, many of them, and certainly
|
|
with an influence of which one was more absolutely conscious. There
|
|
were times when it appeared to Dorian Gray that the whole of history
|
|
was merely the record of his own life, not as he had lived it in act
|
|
and circumstance, but as his imagination had created it for him, as it
|
|
had been in his brain and in his passions. He felt that he had known
|
|
them all, those strange terrible figures that had passed across the
|
|
stage of the world and made sin so marvellous and evil so full of
|
|
subtlety. It seemed to him that in some mysterious way their lives had
|
|
been his own.
|
|
|
|
The hero of the wonderful novel that had so influenced his life had
|
|
himself known this curious fancy. In the seventh chapter he tells how,
|
|
crowned with laurel, lest lightning might strike him, he had sat, as
|
|
Tiberius, in a garden at Capri, reading the shameful books of
|
|
Elephantis, while dwarfs and peacocks strutted round him and the
|
|
flute-player mocked the swinger of the censer; and, as Caligula, had
|
|
caroused with the green-shirted jockeys in their stables and supped in
|
|
an ivory manger with a jewel-frontleted horse; and, as Domitian, had
|
|
wandered through a corridor lined with marble mirrors, looking round
|
|
with haggard eyes for the reflection of the dagger that was to end his
|
|
days, and sick with that ennui, that terrible _taedium vitae_, that comes
|
|
on those to whom life denies nothing; and had peered through a clear
|
|
emerald at the red shambles of the circus and then, in a litter of
|
|
pearl and purple drawn by silver-shod mules, been carried through the
|
|
Street of Pomegranates to a House of Gold and heard men cry on Nero
|
|
Caesar as he passed by; and, as Elagabalus, had painted his face with
|
|
colours, and plied the distaff among the women, and brought the Moon
|
|
from Carthage and given her in mystic marriage to the Sun.
|
|
|
|
Over and over again Dorian used to read this fantastic chapter, and the
|
|
two chapters immediately following, in which, as in some curious
|
|
tapestries or cunningly wrought enamels, were pictured the awful and
|
|
beautiful forms of those whom vice and blood and weariness had made
|
|
monstrous or mad: Filippo, Duke of Milan, who slew his wife and
|
|
painted her lips with a scarlet poison that her lover might suck death
|
|
from the dead thing he fondled; Pietro Barbi, the Venetian, known as
|
|
Paul the Second, who sought in his vanity to assume the title of
|
|
Formosus, and whose tiara, valued at two hundred thousand florins, was
|
|
bought at the price of a terrible sin; Gian Maria Visconti, who used
|
|
hounds to chase living men and whose murdered body was covered with
|
|
roses by a harlot who had loved him; the Borgia on his white horse,
|
|
with Fratricide riding beside him and his mantle stained with the blood
|
|
of Perotto; Pietro Riario, the young Cardinal Archbishop of Florence,
|
|
child and minion of Sixtus IV, whose beauty was equalled only by his
|
|
debauchery, and who received Leonora of Aragon in a pavilion of white
|
|
and crimson silk, filled with nymphs and centaurs, and gilded a boy
|
|
that he might serve at the feast as Ganymede or Hylas; Ezzelin, whose
|
|
melancholy could be cured only by the spectacle of death, and who had a
|
|
passion for red blood, as other men have for red wine--the son of the
|
|
Fiend, as was reported, and one who had cheated his father at dice when
|
|
gambling with him for his own soul; Giambattista Cibo, who in mockery
|
|
took the name of Innocent and into whose torpid veins the blood of
|
|
three lads was infused by a Jewish doctor; Sigismondo Malatesta, the
|
|
lover of Isotta and the lord of Rimini, whose effigy was burned at Rome
|
|
as the enemy of God and man, who strangled Polyssena with a napkin, and
|
|
gave poison to Ginevra d'Este in a cup of emerald, and in honour of a
|
|
shameful passion built a pagan church for Christian worship; Charles
|
|
VI, who had so wildly adored his brother's wife that a leper had warned
|
|
him of the insanity that was coming on him, and who, when his brain had
|
|
sickened and grown strange, could only be soothed by Saracen cards
|
|
painted with the images of love and death and madness; and, in his
|
|
trimmed jerkin and jewelled cap and acanthuslike curls, Grifonetto
|
|
Baglioni, who slew Astorre with his bride, and Simonetto with his page,
|
|
and whose comeliness was such that, as he lay dying in the yellow
|
|
piazza of Perugia, those who had hated him could not choose but weep,
|
|
and Atalanta, who had cursed him, blessed him.
|
|
|
|
There was a horrible fascination in them all. He saw them at night,
|
|
and they troubled his imagination in the day. The Renaissance knew of
|
|
strange manners of poisoning--poisoning by a helmet and a lighted
|
|
torch, by an embroidered glove and a jewelled fan, by a gilded pomander
|
|
and by an amber chain. Dorian Gray had been poisoned by a book. There
|
|
were moments when he looked on evil simply as a mode through which he
|
|
could realize his conception of the beautiful.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 12
|
|
|
|
It was on the ninth of November, the eve of his own thirty-eighth
|
|
birthday, as he often remembered afterwards.
|
|
|
|
He was walking home about eleven o'clock from Lord Henry's, where he
|
|
had been dining, and was wrapped in heavy furs, as the night was cold
|
|
and foggy. At the corner of Grosvenor Square and South Audley Street,
|
|
a man passed him in the mist, walking very fast and with the collar of
|
|
his grey ulster turned up. He had a bag in his hand. Dorian
|
|
recognized him. It was Basil Hallward. A strange sense of fear, for
|
|
which he could not account, came over him. He made no sign of
|
|
recognition and went on quickly in the direction of his own house.
|
|
|
|
But Hallward had seen him. Dorian heard him first stopping on the
|
|
pavement and then hurrying after him. In a few moments, his hand was
|
|
on his arm.
|
|
|
|
"Dorian! What an extraordinary piece of luck! I have been waiting for
|
|
you in your library ever since nine o'clock. Finally I took pity on
|
|
your tired servant and told him to go to bed, as he let me out. I am
|
|
off to Paris by the midnight train, and I particularly wanted to see
|
|
you before I left. I thought it was you, or rather your fur coat, as
|
|
you passed me. But I wasn't quite sure. Didn't you recognize me?"
|
|
|
|
"In this fog, my dear Basil? Why, I can't even recognize Grosvenor
|
|
Square. I believe my house is somewhere about here, but I don't feel
|
|
at all certain about it. I am sorry you are going away, as I have not
|
|
seen you for ages. But I suppose you will be back soon?"
|
|
|
|
"No: I am going to be out of England for six months. I intend to take
|
|
a studio in Paris and shut myself up till I have finished a great
|
|
picture I have in my head. However, it wasn't about myself I wanted to
|
|
talk. Here we are at your door. Let me come in for a moment. I have
|
|
something to say to you."
|
|
|
|
"I shall be charmed. But won't you miss your train?" said Dorian Gray
|
|
languidly as he passed up the steps and opened the door with his
|
|
latch-key.
|
|
|
|
The lamplight struggled out through the fog, and Hallward looked at his
|
|
watch. "I have heaps of time," he answered. "The train doesn't go
|
|
till twelve-fifteen, and it is only just eleven. In fact, I was on my
|
|
way to the club to look for you, when I met you. You see, I shan't
|
|
have any delay about luggage, as I have sent on my heavy things. All I
|
|
have with me is in this bag, and I can easily get to Victoria in twenty
|
|
minutes."
|
|
|
|
Dorian looked at him and smiled. "What a way for a fashionable painter
|
|
to travel! A Gladstone bag and an ulster! Come in, or the fog will
|
|
get into the house. And mind you don't talk about anything serious.
|
|
Nothing is serious nowadays. At least nothing should be."
|
|
|
|
Hallward shook his head, as he entered, and followed Dorian into the
|
|
library. There was a bright wood fire blazing in the large open
|
|
hearth. The lamps were lit, and an open Dutch silver spirit-case
|
|
stood, with some siphons of soda-water and large cut-glass tumblers, on
|
|
a little marqueterie table.
|
|
|
|
"You see your servant made me quite at home, Dorian. He gave me
|
|
everything I wanted, including your best gold-tipped cigarettes. He is
|
|
a most hospitable creature. I like him much better than the Frenchman
|
|
you used to have. What has become of the Frenchman, by the bye?"
|
|
|
|
Dorian shrugged his shoulders. "I believe he married Lady Radley's
|
|
maid, and has established her in Paris as an English dressmaker.
|
|
Anglomania is very fashionable over there now, I hear. It seems silly
|
|
of the French, doesn't it? But--do you know?--he was not at all a bad
|
|
servant. I never liked him, but I had nothing to complain about. One
|
|
often imagines things that are quite absurd. He was really very
|
|
devoted to me and seemed quite sorry when he went away. Have another
|
|
brandy-and-soda? Or would you like hock-and-seltzer? I always take
|
|
hock-and-seltzer myself. There is sure to be some in the next room."
|
|
|
|
"Thanks, I won't have anything more," said the painter, taking his cap
|
|
and coat off and throwing them on the bag that he had placed in the
|
|
corner. "And now, my dear fellow, I want to speak to you seriously.
|
|
Don't frown like that. You make it so much more difficult for me."
|
|
|
|
"What is it all about?" cried Dorian in his petulant way, flinging
|
|
himself down on the sofa. "I hope it is not about myself. I am tired
|
|
of myself to-night. I should like to be somebody else."
|
|
|
|
"It is about yourself," answered Hallward in his grave deep voice, "and
|
|
I must say it to you. I shall only keep you half an hour."
|
|
|
|
Dorian sighed and lit a cigarette. "Half an hour!" he murmured.
|
|
|
|
"It is not much to ask of you, Dorian, and it is entirely for your own
|
|
sake that I am speaking. I think it right that you should know that
|
|
the most dreadful things are being said against you in London."
|
|
|
|
"I don't wish to know anything about them. I love scandals about other
|
|
people, but scandals about myself don't interest me. They have not got
|
|
the charm of novelty."
|
|
|
|
"They must interest you, Dorian. Every gentleman is interested in his
|
|
good name. You don't want people to talk of you as something vile and
|
|
degraded. Of course, you have your position, and your wealth, and all
|
|
that kind of thing. But position and wealth are not everything. Mind
|
|
you, I don't believe these rumours at all. At least, I can't believe
|
|
them when I see you. Sin is a thing that writes itself across a man's
|
|
face. It cannot be concealed. People talk sometimes of secret vices.
|
|
There are no such things. If a wretched man has a vice, it shows
|
|
itself in the lines of his mouth, the droop of his eyelids, the
|
|
moulding of his hands even. Somebody--I won't mention his name, but
|
|
you know him--came to me last year to have his portrait done. I had
|
|
never seen him before, and had never heard anything about him at the
|
|
time, though I have heard a good deal since. He offered an extravagant
|
|
price. I refused him. There was something in the shape of his fingers
|
|
that I hated. I know now that I was quite right in what I fancied
|
|
about him. His life is dreadful. But you, Dorian, with your pure,
|
|
bright, innocent face, and your marvellous untroubled youth--I can't
|
|
believe anything against you. And yet I see you very seldom, and you
|
|
never come down to the studio now, and when I am away from you, and I
|
|
hear all these hideous things that people are whispering about you, I
|
|
don't know what to say. Why is it, Dorian, that a man like the Duke of
|
|
Berwick leaves the room of a club when you enter it? Why is it that so
|
|
many gentlemen in London will neither go to your house or invite you to
|
|
theirs? You used to be a friend of Lord Staveley. I met him at dinner
|
|
last week. Your name happened to come up in conversation, in
|
|
connection with the miniatures you have lent to the exhibition at the
|
|
Dudley. Staveley curled his lip and said that you might have the most
|
|
artistic tastes, but that you were a man whom no pure-minded girl
|
|
should be allowed to know, and whom no chaste woman should sit in the
|
|
same room with. I reminded him that I was a friend of yours, and asked
|
|
him what he meant. He told me. He told me right out before everybody.
|
|
It was horrible! Why is your friendship so fatal to young men? There
|
|
was that wretched boy in the Guards who committed suicide. You were
|
|
his great friend. There was Sir Henry Ashton, who had to leave England
|
|
with a tarnished name. You and he were inseparable. What about Adrian
|
|
Singleton and his dreadful end? What about Lord Kent's only son and
|
|
his career? I met his father yesterday in St. James's Street. He
|
|
seemed broken with shame and sorrow. What about the young Duke of
|
|
Perth? What sort of life has he got now? What gentleman would
|
|
associate with him?"
|
|
|
|
"Stop, Basil. You are talking about things of which you know nothing,"
|
|
said Dorian Gray, biting his lip, and with a note of infinite contempt
|
|
in his voice. "You ask me why Berwick leaves a room when I enter it.
|
|
It is because I know everything about his life, not because he knows
|
|
anything about mine. With such blood as he has in his veins, how could
|
|
his record be clean? You ask me about Henry Ashton and young Perth.
|
|
Did I teach the one his vices, and the other his debauchery? If Kent's
|
|
silly son takes his wife from the streets, what is that to me? If
|
|
Adrian Singleton writes his friend's name across a bill, am I his
|
|
keeper? I know how people chatter in England. The middle classes air
|
|
their moral prejudices over their gross dinner-tables, and whisper
|
|
about what they call the profligacies of their betters in order to try
|
|
and pretend that they are in smart society and on intimate terms with
|
|
the people they slander. In this country, it is enough for a man to
|
|
have distinction and brains for every common tongue to wag against him.
|
|
And what sort of lives do these people, who pose as being moral, lead
|
|
themselves? My dear fellow, you forget that we are in the native land
|
|
of the hypocrite."
|
|
|
|
"Dorian," cried Hallward, "that is not the question. England is bad
|
|
enough I know, and English society is all wrong. That is the reason
|
|
why I want you to be fine. You have not been fine. One has a right to
|
|
judge of a man by the effect he has over his friends. Yours seem to
|
|
lose all sense of honour, of goodness, of purity. You have filled them
|
|
with a madness for pleasure. They have gone down into the depths. You
|
|
led them there. Yes: you led them there, and yet you can smile, as
|
|
you are smiling now. And there is worse behind. I know you and Harry
|
|
are inseparable. Surely for that reason, if for none other, you should
|
|
not have made his sister's name a by-word."
|
|
|
|
"Take care, Basil. You go too far."
|
|
|
|
"I must speak, and you must listen. You shall listen. When you met
|
|
Lady Gwendolen, not a breath of scandal had ever touched her. Is there
|
|
a single decent woman in London now who would drive with her in the
|
|
park? Why, even her children are not allowed to live with her. Then
|
|
there are other stories--stories that you have been seen creeping at
|
|
dawn out of dreadful houses and slinking in disguise into the foulest
|
|
dens in London. Are they true? Can they be true? When I first heard
|
|
them, I laughed. I hear them now, and they make me shudder. What
|
|
about your country-house and the life that is led there? Dorian, you
|
|
don't know what is said about you. I won't tell you that I don't want
|
|
to preach to you. I remember Harry saying once that every man who
|
|
turned himself into an amateur curate for the moment always began by
|
|
saying that, and then proceeded to break his word. I do want to preach
|
|
to you. I want you to lead such a life as will make the world respect
|
|
you. I want you to have a clean name and a fair record. I want you to
|
|
get rid of the dreadful people you associate with. Don't shrug your
|
|
shoulders like that. Don't be so indifferent. You have a wonderful
|
|
influence. Let it be for good, not for evil. They say that you
|
|
corrupt every one with whom you become intimate, and that it is quite
|
|
sufficient for you to enter a house for shame of some kind to follow
|
|
after. I don't know whether it is so or not. How should I know? But
|
|
it is said of you. I am told things that it seems impossible to doubt.
|
|
Lord Gloucester was one of my greatest friends at Oxford. He showed me
|
|
a letter that his wife had written to him when she was dying alone in
|
|
her villa at Mentone. Your name was implicated in the most terrible
|
|
confession I ever read. I told him that it was absurd--that I knew you
|
|
thoroughly and that you were incapable of anything of the kind. Know
|
|
you? I wonder do I know you? Before I could answer that, I should
|
|
have to see your soul."
|
|
|
|
"To see my soul!" muttered Dorian Gray, starting up from the sofa and
|
|
turning almost white from fear.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," answered Hallward gravely, and with deep-toned sorrow in his
|
|
voice, "to see your soul. But only God can do that."
|
|
|
|
A bitter laugh of mockery broke from the lips of the younger man. "You
|
|
shall see it yourself, to-night!" he cried, seizing a lamp from the
|
|
table. "Come: it is your own handiwork. Why shouldn't you look at
|
|
it? You can tell the world all about it afterwards, if you choose.
|
|
Nobody would believe you. If they did believe you, they would like me
|
|
all the better for it. I know the age better than you do, though you
|
|
will prate about it so tediously. Come, I tell you. You have
|
|
chattered enough about corruption. Now you shall look on it face to
|
|
face."
|
|
|
|
There was the madness of pride in every word he uttered. He stamped
|
|
his foot upon the ground in his boyish insolent manner. He felt a
|
|
terrible joy at the thought that some one else was to share his secret,
|
|
and that the man who had painted the portrait that was the origin of
|
|
all his shame was to be burdened for the rest of his life with the
|
|
hideous memory of what he had done.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," he continued, coming closer to him and looking steadfastly into
|
|
his stern eyes, "I shall show you my soul. You shall see the thing
|
|
that you fancy only God can see."
|
|
|
|
Hallward started back. "This is blasphemy, Dorian!" he cried. "You
|
|
must not say things like that. They are horrible, and they don't mean
|
|
anything."
|
|
|
|
"You think so?" He laughed again.
|
|
|
|
"I know so. As for what I said to you to-night, I said it for your
|
|
good. You know I have been always a stanch friend to you."
|
|
|
|
"Don't touch me. Finish what you have to say."
|
|
|
|
A twisted flash of pain shot across the painter's face. He paused for
|
|
a moment, and a wild feeling of pity came over him. After all, what
|
|
right had he to pry into the life of Dorian Gray? If he had done a
|
|
tithe of what was rumoured about him, how much he must have suffered!
|
|
Then he straightened himself up, and walked over to the fire-place, and
|
|
stood there, looking at the burning logs with their frostlike ashes and
|
|
their throbbing cores of flame.
|
|
|
|
"I am waiting, Basil," said the young man in a hard clear voice.
|
|
|
|
He turned round. "What I have to say is this," he cried. "You must
|
|
give me some answer to these horrible charges that are made against
|
|
you. If you tell me that they are absolutely untrue from beginning to
|
|
end, I shall believe you. Deny them, Dorian, deny them! Can't you see
|
|
what I am going through? My God! don't tell me that you are bad, and
|
|
corrupt, and shameful."
|
|
|
|
Dorian Gray smiled. There was a curl of contempt in his lips. "Come
|
|
upstairs, Basil," he said quietly. "I keep a diary of my life from day
|
|
to day, and it never leaves the room in which it is written. I shall
|
|
show it to you if you come with me."
|
|
|
|
"I shall come with you, Dorian, if you wish it. I see I have missed my
|
|
train. That makes no matter. I can go to-morrow. But don't ask me to
|
|
read anything to-night. All I want is a plain answer to my question."
|
|
|
|
"That shall be given to you upstairs. I could not give it here. You
|
|
will not have to read long."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 13
|
|
|
|
He passed out of the room and began the ascent, Basil Hallward
|
|
following close behind. They walked softly, as men do instinctively at
|
|
night. The lamp cast fantastic shadows on the wall and staircase. A
|
|
rising wind made some of the windows rattle.
|
|
|
|
When they reached the top landing, Dorian set the lamp down on the
|
|
floor, and taking out the key, turned it in the lock. "You insist on
|
|
knowing, Basil?" he asked in a low voice.
|
|
|
|
"Yes."
|
|
|
|
"I am delighted," he answered, smiling. Then he added, somewhat
|
|
harshly, "You are the one man in the world who is entitled to know
|
|
everything about me. You have had more to do with my life than you
|
|
think"; and, taking up the lamp, he opened the door and went in. A
|
|
cold current of air passed them, and the light shot up for a moment in
|
|
a flame of murky orange. He shuddered. "Shut the door behind you," he
|
|
whispered, as he placed the lamp on the table.
|
|
|
|
Hallward glanced round him with a puzzled expression. The room looked
|
|
as if it had not been lived in for years. A faded Flemish tapestry, a
|
|
curtained picture, an old Italian _cassone_, and an almost empty
|
|
book-case--that was all that it seemed to contain, besides a chair and
|
|
a table. As Dorian Gray was lighting a half-burned candle that was
|
|
standing on the mantelshelf, he saw that the whole place was covered
|
|
with dust and that the carpet was in holes. A mouse ran scuffling
|
|
behind the wainscoting. There was a damp odour of mildew.
|
|
|
|
"So you think that it is only God who sees the soul, Basil? Draw that
|
|
curtain back, and you will see mine."
|
|
|
|
The voice that spoke was cold and cruel. "You are mad, Dorian, or
|
|
playing a part," muttered Hallward, frowning.
|
|
|
|
"You won't? Then I must do it myself," said the young man, and he tore
|
|
the curtain from its rod and flung it on the ground.
|
|
|
|
An exclamation of horror broke from the painter's lips as he saw in the
|
|
dim light the hideous face on the canvas grinning at him. There was
|
|
something in its expression that filled him with disgust and loathing.
|
|
Good heavens! it was Dorian Gray's own face that he was looking at!
|
|
The horror, whatever it was, had not yet entirely spoiled that
|
|
marvellous beauty. There was still some gold in the thinning hair and
|
|
some scarlet on the sensual mouth. The sodden eyes had kept something
|
|
of the loveliness of their blue, the noble curves had not yet
|
|
completely passed away from chiselled nostrils and from plastic throat.
|
|
Yes, it was Dorian himself. But who had done it? He seemed to
|
|
recognize his own brushwork, and the frame was his own design. The
|
|
idea was monstrous, yet he felt afraid. He seized the lighted candle,
|
|
and held it to the picture. In the left-hand corner was his own name,
|
|
traced in long letters of bright vermilion.
|
|
|
|
It was some foul parody, some infamous ignoble satire. He had never
|
|
done that. Still, it was his own picture. He knew it, and he felt as
|
|
if his blood had changed in a moment from fire to sluggish ice. His
|
|
own picture! What did it mean? Why had it altered? He turned and
|
|
looked at Dorian Gray with the eyes of a sick man. His mouth twitched,
|
|
and his parched tongue seemed unable to articulate. He passed his hand
|
|
across his forehead. It was dank with clammy sweat.
|
|
|
|
The young man was leaning against the mantelshelf, watching him with
|
|
that strange expression that one sees on the faces of those who are
|
|
absorbed in a play when some great artist is acting. There was neither
|
|
real sorrow in it nor real joy. There was simply the passion of the
|
|
spectator, with perhaps a flicker of triumph in his eyes. He had taken
|
|
the flower out of his coat, and was smelling it, or pretending to do so.
|
|
|
|
"What does this mean?" cried Hallward, at last. His own voice sounded
|
|
shrill and curious in his ears.
|
|
|
|
"Years ago, when I was a boy," said Dorian Gray, crushing the flower in
|
|
his hand, "you met me, flattered me, and taught me to be vain of my
|
|
good looks. One day you introduced me to a friend of yours, who
|
|
explained to me the wonder of youth, and you finished a portrait of me
|
|
that revealed to me the wonder of beauty. In a mad moment that, even
|
|
now, I don't know whether I regret or not, I made a wish, perhaps you
|
|
would call it a prayer...."
|
|
|
|
"I remember it! Oh, how well I remember it! No! the thing is
|
|
impossible. The room is damp. Mildew has got into the canvas. The
|
|
paints I used had some wretched mineral poison in them. I tell you the
|
|
thing is impossible."
|
|
|
|
"Ah, what is impossible?" murmured the young man, going over to the
|
|
window and leaning his forehead against the cold, mist-stained glass.
|
|
|
|
"You told me you had destroyed it."
|
|
|
|
"I was wrong. It has destroyed me."
|
|
|
|
"I don't believe it is my picture."
|
|
|
|
"Can't you see your ideal in it?" said Dorian bitterly.
|
|
|
|
"My ideal, as you call it..."
|
|
|
|
"As you called it."
|
|
|
|
"There was nothing evil in it, nothing shameful. You were to me such
|
|
an ideal as I shall never meet again. This is the face of a satyr."
|
|
|
|
"It is the face of my soul."
|
|
|
|
"Christ! what a thing I must have worshipped! It has the eyes of a
|
|
devil."
|
|
|
|
"Each of us has heaven and hell in him, Basil," cried Dorian with a
|
|
wild gesture of despair.
|
|
|
|
Hallward turned again to the portrait and gazed at it. "My God! If it
|
|
is true," he exclaimed, "and this is what you have done with your life,
|
|
why, you must be worse even than those who talk against you fancy you
|
|
to be!" He held the light up again to the canvas and examined it. The
|
|
surface seemed to be quite undisturbed and as he had left it. It was
|
|
from within, apparently, that the foulness and horror had come.
|
|
Through some strange quickening of inner life the leprosies of sin were
|
|
slowly eating the thing away. The rotting of a corpse in a watery
|
|
grave was not so fearful.
|
|
|
|
His hand shook, and the candle fell from its socket on the floor and
|
|
lay there sputtering. He placed his foot on it and put it out. Then
|
|
he flung himself into the rickety chair that was standing by the table
|
|
and buried his face in his hands.
|
|
|
|
"Good God, Dorian, what a lesson! What an awful lesson!" There was no
|
|
answer, but he could hear the young man sobbing at the window. "Pray,
|
|
Dorian, pray," he murmured. "What is it that one was taught to say in
|
|
one's boyhood? 'Lead us not into temptation. Forgive us our sins.
|
|
Wash away our iniquities.' Let us say that together. The prayer of
|
|
your pride has been answered. The prayer of your repentance will be
|
|
answered also. I worshipped you too much. I am punished for it. You
|
|
worshipped yourself too much. We are both punished."
|
|
|
|
Dorian Gray turned slowly around and looked at him with tear-dimmed
|
|
eyes. "It is too late, Basil," he faltered.
|
|
|
|
"It is never too late, Dorian. Let us kneel down and try if we cannot
|
|
remember a prayer. Isn't there a verse somewhere, 'Though your sins be
|
|
as scarlet, yet I will make them as white as snow'?"
|
|
|
|
"Those words mean nothing to me now."
|
|
|
|
"Hush! Don't say that. You have done enough evil in your life. My
|
|
God! Don't you see that accursed thing leering at us?"
|
|
|
|
Dorian Gray glanced at the picture, and suddenly an uncontrollable
|
|
feeling of hatred for Basil Hallward came over him, as though it had
|
|
been suggested to him by the image on the canvas, whispered into his
|
|
ear by those grinning lips. The mad passions of a hunted animal
|
|
stirred within him, and he loathed the man who was seated at the table,
|
|
more than in his whole life he had ever loathed anything. He glanced
|
|
wildly around. Something glimmered on the top of the painted chest
|
|
that faced him. His eye fell on it. He knew what it was. It was a
|
|
knife that he had brought up, some days before, to cut a piece of cord,
|
|
and had forgotten to take away with him. He moved slowly towards it,
|
|
passing Hallward as he did so. As soon as he got behind him, he seized
|
|
it and turned round. Hallward stirred in his chair as if he was going
|
|
to rise. He rushed at him and dug the knife into the great vein that
|
|
is behind the ear, crushing the man's head down on the table and
|
|
stabbing again and again.
|
|
|
|
There was a stifled groan and the horrible sound of some one choking
|
|
with blood. Three times the outstretched arms shot up convulsively,
|
|
waving grotesque, stiff-fingered hands in the air. He stabbed him
|
|
twice more, but the man did not move. Something began to trickle on
|
|
the floor. He waited for a moment, still pressing the head down. Then
|
|
he threw the knife on the table, and listened.
|
|
|
|
He could hear nothing, but the drip, drip on the threadbare carpet. He
|
|
opened the door and went out on the landing. The house was absolutely
|
|
quiet. No one was about. For a few seconds he stood bending over the
|
|
balustrade and peering down into the black seething well of darkness.
|
|
Then he took out the key and returned to the room, locking himself in
|
|
as he did so.
|
|
|
|
The thing was still seated in the chair, straining over the table with
|
|
bowed head, and humped back, and long fantastic arms. Had it not been
|
|
for the red jagged tear in the neck and the clotted black pool that was
|
|
slowly widening on the table, one would have said that the man was
|
|
simply asleep.
|
|
|
|
How quickly it had all been done! He felt strangely calm, and walking
|
|
over to the window, opened it and stepped out on the balcony. The wind
|
|
had blown the fog away, and the sky was like a monstrous peacock's
|
|
tail, starred with myriads of golden eyes. He looked down and saw the
|
|
policeman going his rounds and flashing the long beam of his lantern on
|
|
the doors of the silent houses. The crimson spot of a prowling hansom
|
|
gleamed at the corner and then vanished. A woman in a fluttering shawl
|
|
was creeping slowly by the railings, staggering as she went. Now and
|
|
then she stopped and peered back. Once, she began to sing in a hoarse
|
|
voice. The policeman strolled over and said something to her. She
|
|
stumbled away, laughing. A bitter blast swept across the square. The
|
|
gas-lamps flickered and became blue, and the leafless trees shook their
|
|
black iron branches to and fro. He shivered and went back, closing the
|
|
window behind him.
|
|
|
|
Having reached the door, he turned the key and opened it. He did not
|
|
even glance at the murdered man. He felt that the secret of the whole
|
|
thing was not to realize the situation. The friend who had painted the
|
|
fatal portrait to which all his misery had been due had gone out of his
|
|
life. That was enough.
|
|
|
|
Then he remembered the lamp. It was a rather curious one of Moorish
|
|
workmanship, made of dull silver inlaid with arabesques of burnished
|
|
steel, and studded with coarse turquoises. Perhaps it might be missed
|
|
by his servant, and questions would be asked. He hesitated for a
|
|
moment, then he turned back and took it from the table. He could not
|
|
help seeing the dead thing. How still it was! How horribly white the
|
|
long hands looked! It was like a dreadful wax image.
|
|
|
|
Having locked the door behind him, he crept quietly downstairs. The
|
|
woodwork creaked and seemed to cry out as if in pain. He stopped
|
|
several times and waited. No: everything was still. It was merely
|
|
the sound of his own footsteps.
|
|
|
|
When he reached the library, he saw the bag and coat in the corner.
|
|
They must be hidden away somewhere. He unlocked a secret press that
|
|
was in the wainscoting, a press in which he kept his own curious
|
|
disguises, and put them into it. He could easily burn them afterwards.
|
|
Then he pulled out his watch. It was twenty minutes to two.
|
|
|
|
He sat down and began to think. Every year--every month, almost--men
|
|
were strangled in England for what he had done. There had been a
|
|
madness of murder in the air. Some red star had come too close to the
|
|
earth.... And yet, what evidence was there against him? Basil Hallward
|
|
had left the house at eleven. No one had seen him come in again. Most
|
|
of the servants were at Selby Royal. His valet had gone to bed....
|
|
Paris! Yes. It was to Paris that Basil had gone, and by the midnight
|
|
train, as he had intended. With his curious reserved habits, it would
|
|
be months before any suspicions would be roused. Months! Everything
|
|
could be destroyed long before then.
|
|
|
|
A sudden thought struck him. He put on his fur coat and hat and went
|
|
out into the hall. There he paused, hearing the slow heavy tread of
|
|
the policeman on the pavement outside and seeing the flash of the
|
|
bull's-eye reflected in the window. He waited and held his breath.
|
|
|
|
After a few moments he drew back the latch and slipped out, shutting
|
|
the door very gently behind him. Then he began ringing the bell. In
|
|
about five minutes his valet appeared, half-dressed and looking very
|
|
drowsy.
|
|
|
|
"I am sorry to have had to wake you up, Francis," he said, stepping in;
|
|
"but I had forgotten my latch-key. What time is it?"
|
|
|
|
"Ten minutes past two, sir," answered the man, looking at the clock and
|
|
blinking.
|
|
|
|
"Ten minutes past two? How horribly late! You must wake me at nine
|
|
to-morrow. I have some work to do."
|
|
|
|
"All right, sir."
|
|
|
|
"Did any one call this evening?"
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Hallward, sir. He stayed here till eleven, and then he went away
|
|
to catch his train."
|
|
|
|
"Oh! I am sorry I didn't see him. Did he leave any message?"
|
|
|
|
"No, sir, except that he would write to you from Paris, if he did not
|
|
find you at the club."
|
|
|
|
"That will do, Francis. Don't forget to call me at nine to-morrow."
|
|
|
|
"No, sir."
|
|
|
|
The man shambled down the passage in his slippers.
|
|
|
|
Dorian Gray threw his hat and coat upon the table and passed into the
|
|
library. For a quarter of an hour he walked up and down the room,
|
|
biting his lip and thinking. Then he took down the Blue Book from one
|
|
of the shelves and began to turn over the leaves. "Alan Campbell, 152,
|
|
Hertford Street, Mayfair." Yes; that was the man he wanted.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 14
|
|
|
|
At nine o'clock the next morning his servant came in with a cup of
|
|
chocolate on a tray and opened the shutters. Dorian was sleeping quite
|
|
peacefully, lying on his right side, with one hand underneath his
|
|
cheek. He looked like a boy who had been tired out with play, or study.
|
|
|
|
The man had to touch him twice on the shoulder before he woke, and as
|
|
he opened his eyes a faint smile passed across his lips, as though he
|
|
had been lost in some delightful dream. Yet he had not dreamed at all.
|
|
His night had been untroubled by any images of pleasure or of pain.
|
|
But youth smiles without any reason. It is one of its chiefest charms.
|
|
|
|
He turned round, and leaning upon his elbow, began to sip his
|
|
chocolate. The mellow November sun came streaming into the room. The
|
|
sky was bright, and there was a genial warmth in the air. It was
|
|
almost like a morning in May.
|
|
|
|
Gradually the events of the preceding night crept with silent,
|
|
blood-stained feet into his brain and reconstructed themselves there
|
|
with terrible distinctness. He winced at the memory of all that he had
|
|
suffered, and for a moment the same curious feeling of loathing for
|
|
Basil Hallward that had made him kill him as he sat in the chair came
|
|
back to him, and he grew cold with passion. The dead man was still
|
|
sitting there, too, and in the sunlight now. How horrible that was!
|
|
Such hideous things were for the darkness, not for the day.
|
|
|
|
He felt that if he brooded on what he had gone through he would sicken
|
|
or grow mad. There were sins whose fascination was more in the memory
|
|
than in the doing of them, strange triumphs that gratified the pride
|
|
more than the passions, and gave to the intellect a quickened sense of
|
|
joy, greater than any joy they brought, or could ever bring, to the
|
|
senses. But this was not one of them. It was a thing to be driven out
|
|
of the mind, to be drugged with poppies, to be strangled lest it might
|
|
strangle one itself.
|
|
|
|
When the half-hour struck, he passed his hand across his forehead, and
|
|
then got up hastily and dressed himself with even more than his usual
|
|
care, giving a good deal of attention to the choice of his necktie and
|
|
scarf-pin and changing his rings more than once. He spent a long time
|
|
also over breakfast, tasting the various dishes, talking to his valet
|
|
about some new liveries that he was thinking of getting made for the
|
|
servants at Selby, and going through his correspondence. At some of
|
|
the letters, he smiled. Three of them bored him. One he read several
|
|
times over and then tore up with a slight look of annoyance in his
|
|
face. "That awful thing, a woman's memory!" as Lord Henry had once
|
|
said.
|
|
|
|
After he had drunk his cup of black coffee, he wiped his lips slowly
|
|
with a napkin, motioned to his servant to wait, and going over to the
|
|
table, sat down and wrote two letters. One he put in his pocket, the
|
|
other he handed to the valet.
|
|
|
|
"Take this round to 152, Hertford Street, Francis, and if Mr. Campbell
|
|
is out of town, get his address."
|
|
|
|
As soon as he was alone, he lit a cigarette and began sketching upon a
|
|
piece of paper, drawing first flowers and bits of architecture, and
|
|
then human faces. Suddenly he remarked that every face that he drew
|
|
seemed to have a fantastic likeness to Basil Hallward. He frowned, and
|
|
getting up, went over to the book-case and took out a volume at hazard.
|
|
He was determined that he would not think about what had happened until
|
|
it became absolutely necessary that he should do so.
|
|
|
|
When he had stretched himself on the sofa, he looked at the title-page
|
|
of the book. It was Gautier's Emaux et Camees, Charpentier's
|
|
Japanese-paper edition, with the Jacquemart etching. The binding was
|
|
of citron-green leather, with a design of gilt trellis-work and dotted
|
|
pomegranates. It had been given to him by Adrian Singleton. As he
|
|
turned over the pages, his eye fell on the poem about the hand of
|
|
Lacenaire, the cold yellow hand "_du supplice encore mal lavee_," with
|
|
its downy red hairs and its "_doigts de faune_." He glanced at his own
|
|
white taper fingers, shuddering slightly in spite of himself, and
|
|
passed on, till he came to those lovely stanzas upon Venice:
|
|
|
|
Sur une gamme chromatique,
|
|
Le sein de perles ruisselant,
|
|
La Venus de l'Adriatique
|
|
Sort de l'eau son corps rose et blanc.
|
|
|
|
Les domes, sur l'azur des ondes
|
|
Suivant la phrase au pur contour,
|
|
S'enflent comme des gorges rondes
|
|
Que souleve un soupir d'amour.
|
|
|
|
L'esquif aborde et me depose,
|
|
Jetant son amarre au pilier,
|
|
Devant une facade rose,
|
|
Sur le marbre d'un escalier.
|
|
|
|
|
|
How exquisite they were! As one read them, one seemed to be floating
|
|
down the green water-ways of the pink and pearl city, seated in a black
|
|
gondola with silver prow and trailing curtains. The mere lines looked
|
|
to him like those straight lines of turquoise-blue that follow one as
|
|
one pushes out to the Lido. The sudden flashes of colour reminded him
|
|
of the gleam of the opal-and-iris-throated birds that flutter round the
|
|
tall honeycombed Campanile, or stalk, with such stately grace, through
|
|
the dim, dust-stained arcades. Leaning back with half-closed eyes, he
|
|
kept saying over and over to himself:
|
|
|
|
"Devant une facade rose,
|
|
Sur le marbre d'un escalier."
|
|
|
|
The whole of Venice was in those two lines. He remembered the autumn
|
|
that he had passed there, and a wonderful love that had stirred him to
|
|
mad delightful follies. There was romance in every place. But Venice,
|
|
like Oxford, had kept the background for romance, and, to the true
|
|
romantic, background was everything, or almost everything. Basil had
|
|
been with him part of the time, and had gone wild over Tintoret. Poor
|
|
Basil! What a horrible way for a man to die!
|
|
|
|
He sighed, and took up the volume again, and tried to forget. He read
|
|
of the swallows that fly in and out of the little _cafe_ at Smyrna where
|
|
the Hadjis sit counting their amber beads and the turbaned merchants
|
|
smoke their long tasselled pipes and talk gravely to each other; he
|
|
read of the Obelisk in the Place de la Concorde that weeps tears of
|
|
granite in its lonely sunless exile and longs to be back by the hot,
|
|
lotus-covered Nile, where there are Sphinxes, and rose-red ibises, and
|
|
white vultures with gilded claws, and crocodiles with small beryl eyes
|
|
that crawl over the green steaming mud; he began to brood over those
|
|
verses which, drawing music from kiss-stained marble, tell of that
|
|
curious statue that Gautier compares to a contralto voice, the "_monstre
|
|
charmant_" that couches in the porphyry-room of the Louvre. But after a
|
|
time the book fell from his hand. He grew nervous, and a horrible fit
|
|
of terror came over him. What if Alan Campbell should be out of
|
|
England? Days would elapse before he could come back. Perhaps he
|
|
might refuse to come. What could he do then? Every moment was of
|
|
vital importance.
|
|
|
|
They had been great friends once, five years before--almost
|
|
inseparable, indeed. Then the intimacy had come suddenly to an end.
|
|
When they met in society now, it was only Dorian Gray who smiled: Alan
|
|
Campbell never did.
|
|
|
|
He was an extremely clever young man, though he had no real
|
|
appreciation of the visible arts, and whatever little sense of the
|
|
beauty of poetry he possessed he had gained entirely from Dorian. His
|
|
dominant intellectual passion was for science. At Cambridge he had
|
|
spent a great deal of his time working in the laboratory, and had taken
|
|
a good class in the Natural Science Tripos of his year. Indeed, he was
|
|
still devoted to the study of chemistry, and had a laboratory of his
|
|
own in which he used to shut himself up all day long, greatly to the
|
|
annoyance of his mother, who had set her heart on his standing for
|
|
Parliament and had a vague idea that a chemist was a person who made up
|
|
prescriptions. He was an excellent musician, however, as well, and
|
|
played both the violin and the piano better than most amateurs. In
|
|
fact, it was music that had first brought him and Dorian Gray
|
|
together--music and that indefinable attraction that Dorian seemed to
|
|
be able to exercise whenever he wished--and, indeed, exercised often
|
|
without being conscious of it. They had met at Lady Berkshire's the
|
|
night that Rubinstein played there, and after that used to be always
|
|
seen together at the opera and wherever good music was going on. For
|
|
eighteen months their intimacy lasted. Campbell was always either at
|
|
Selby Royal or in Grosvenor Square. To him, as to many others, Dorian
|
|
Gray was the type of everything that is wonderful and fascinating in
|
|
life. Whether or not a quarrel had taken place between them no one
|
|
ever knew. But suddenly people remarked that they scarcely spoke when
|
|
they met and that Campbell seemed always to go away early from any
|
|
party at which Dorian Gray was present. He had changed, too--was
|
|
strangely melancholy at times, appeared almost to dislike hearing
|
|
music, and would never himself play, giving as his excuse, when he was
|
|
called upon, that he was so absorbed in science that he had no time
|
|
left in which to practise. And this was certainly true. Every day he
|
|
seemed to become more interested in biology, and his name appeared once
|
|
or twice in some of the scientific reviews in connection with certain
|
|
curious experiments.
|
|
|
|
This was the man Dorian Gray was waiting for. Every second he kept
|
|
glancing at the clock. As the minutes went by he became horribly
|
|
agitated. At last he got up and began to pace up and down the room,
|
|
looking like a beautiful caged thing. He took long stealthy strides.
|
|
His hands were curiously cold.
|
|
|
|
The suspense became unbearable. Time seemed to him to be crawling with
|
|
feet of lead, while he by monstrous winds was being swept towards the
|
|
jagged edge of some black cleft of precipice. He knew what was waiting
|
|
for him there; saw it, indeed, and, shuddering, crushed with dank hands
|
|
his burning lids as though he would have robbed the very brain of sight
|
|
and driven the eyeballs back into their cave. It was useless. The
|
|
brain had its own food on which it battened, and the imagination, made
|
|
grotesque by terror, twisted and distorted as a living thing by pain,
|
|
danced like some foul puppet on a stand and grinned through moving
|
|
masks. Then, suddenly, time stopped for him. Yes: that blind,
|
|
slow-breathing thing crawled no more, and horrible thoughts, time being
|
|
dead, raced nimbly on in front, and dragged a hideous future from its
|
|
grave, and showed it to him. He stared at it. Its very horror made
|
|
him stone.
|
|
|
|
At last the door opened and his servant entered. He turned glazed eyes
|
|
upon him.
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Campbell, sir," said the man.
|
|
|
|
A sigh of relief broke from his parched lips, and the colour came back
|
|
to his cheeks.
|
|
|
|
"Ask him to come in at once, Francis." He felt that he was himself
|
|
again. His mood of cowardice had passed away.
|
|
|
|
The man bowed and retired. In a few moments, Alan Campbell walked in,
|
|
looking very stern and rather pale, his pallor being intensified by his
|
|
coal-black hair and dark eyebrows.
|
|
|
|
"Alan! This is kind of you. I thank you for coming."
|
|
|
|
"I had intended never to enter your house again, Gray. But you said it
|
|
was a matter of life and death." His voice was hard and cold. He
|
|
spoke with slow deliberation. There was a look of contempt in the
|
|
steady searching gaze that he turned on Dorian. He kept his hands in
|
|
the pockets of his Astrakhan coat, and seemed not to have noticed the
|
|
gesture with which he had been greeted.
|
|
|
|
"Yes: it is a matter of life and death, Alan, and to more than one
|
|
person. Sit down."
|
|
|
|
Campbell took a chair by the table, and Dorian sat opposite to him.
|
|
The two men's eyes met. In Dorian's there was infinite pity. He knew
|
|
that what he was going to do was dreadful.
|
|
|
|
After a strained moment of silence, he leaned across and said, very
|
|
quietly, but watching the effect of each word upon the face of him he
|
|
had sent for, "Alan, in a locked room at the top of this house, a room
|
|
to which nobody but myself has access, a dead man is seated at a table.
|
|
He has been dead ten hours now. Don't stir, and don't look at me like
|
|
that. Who the man is, why he died, how he died, are matters that do
|
|
not concern you. What you have to do is this--"
|
|
|
|
"Stop, Gray. I don't want to know anything further. Whether what you
|
|
have told me is true or not true doesn't concern me. I entirely
|
|
decline to be mixed up in your life. Keep your horrible secrets to
|
|
yourself. They don't interest me any more."
|
|
|
|
"Alan, they will have to interest you. This one will have to interest
|
|
you. I am awfully sorry for you, Alan. But I can't help myself. You
|
|
are the one man who is able to save me. I am forced to bring you into
|
|
the matter. I have no option. Alan, you are scientific. You know
|
|
about chemistry and things of that kind. You have made experiments.
|
|
What you have got to do is to destroy the thing that is upstairs--to
|
|
destroy it so that not a vestige of it will be left. Nobody saw this
|
|
person come into the house. Indeed, at the present moment he is
|
|
supposed to be in Paris. He will not be missed for months. When he is
|
|
missed, there must be no trace of him found here. You, Alan, you must
|
|
change him, and everything that belongs to him, into a handful of ashes
|
|
that I may scatter in the air."
|
|
|
|
"You are mad, Dorian."
|
|
|
|
"Ah! I was waiting for you to call me Dorian."
|
|
|
|
"You are mad, I tell you--mad to imagine that I would raise a finger to
|
|
help you, mad to make this monstrous confession. I will have nothing
|
|
to do with this matter, whatever it is. Do you think I am going to
|
|
peril my reputation for you? What is it to me what devil's work you
|
|
are up to?"
|
|
|
|
"It was suicide, Alan."
|
|
|
|
"I am glad of that. But who drove him to it? You, I should fancy."
|
|
|
|
"Do you still refuse to do this for me?"
|
|
|
|
"Of course I refuse. I will have absolutely nothing to do with it. I
|
|
don't care what shame comes on you. You deserve it all. I should not
|
|
be sorry to see you disgraced, publicly disgraced. How dare you ask
|
|
me, of all men in the world, to mix myself up in this horror? I should
|
|
have thought you knew more about people's characters. Your friend Lord
|
|
Henry Wotton can't have taught you much about psychology, whatever else
|
|
he has taught you. Nothing will induce me to stir a step to help you.
|
|
You have come to the wrong man. Go to some of your friends. Don't
|
|
come to me."
|
|
|
|
"Alan, it was murder. I killed him. You don't know what he had made
|
|
me suffer. Whatever my life is, he had more to do with the making or
|
|
the marring of it than poor Harry has had. He may not have intended
|
|
it, the result was the same."
|
|
|
|
"Murder! Good God, Dorian, is that what you have come to? I shall not
|
|
inform upon you. It is not my business. Besides, without my stirring
|
|
in the matter, you are certain to be arrested. Nobody ever commits a
|
|
crime without doing something stupid. But I will have nothing to do
|
|
with it."
|
|
|
|
"You must have something to do with it. Wait, wait a moment; listen to
|
|
me. Only listen, Alan. All I ask of you is to perform a certain
|
|
scientific experiment. You go to hospitals and dead-houses, and the
|
|
horrors that you do there don't affect you. If in some hideous
|
|
dissecting-room or fetid laboratory you found this man lying on a
|
|
leaden table with red gutters scooped out in it for the blood to flow
|
|
through, you would simply look upon him as an admirable subject. You
|
|
would not turn a hair. You would not believe that you were doing
|
|
anything wrong. On the contrary, you would probably feel that you were
|
|
benefiting the human race, or increasing the sum of knowledge in the
|
|
world, or gratifying intellectual curiosity, or something of that kind.
|
|
What I want you to do is merely what you have often done before.
|
|
Indeed, to destroy a body must be far less horrible than what you are
|
|
accustomed to work at. And, remember, it is the only piece of evidence
|
|
against me. If it is discovered, I am lost; and it is sure to be
|
|
discovered unless you help me."
|
|
|
|
"I have no desire to help you. You forget that. I am simply
|
|
indifferent to the whole thing. It has nothing to do with me."
|
|
|
|
"Alan, I entreat you. Think of the position I am in. Just before you
|
|
came I almost fainted with terror. You may know terror yourself some
|
|
day. No! don't think of that. Look at the matter purely from the
|
|
scientific point of view. You don't inquire where the dead things on
|
|
which you experiment come from. Don't inquire now. I have told you
|
|
too much as it is. But I beg of you to do this. We were friends once,
|
|
Alan."
|
|
|
|
"Don't speak about those days, Dorian--they are dead."
|
|
|
|
"The dead linger sometimes. The man upstairs will not go away. He is
|
|
sitting at the table with bowed head and outstretched arms. Alan!
|
|
Alan! If you don't come to my assistance, I am ruined. Why, they will
|
|
hang me, Alan! Don't you understand? They will hang me for what I
|
|
have done."
|
|
|
|
"There is no good in prolonging this scene. I absolutely refuse to do
|
|
anything in the matter. It is insane of you to ask me."
|
|
|
|
"You refuse?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes."
|
|
|
|
"I entreat you, Alan."
|
|
|
|
"It is useless."
|
|
|
|
The same look of pity came into Dorian Gray's eyes. Then he stretched
|
|
out his hand, took a piece of paper, and wrote something on it. He
|
|
read it over twice, folded it carefully, and pushed it across the
|
|
table. Having done this, he got up and went over to the window.
|
|
|
|
Campbell looked at him in surprise, and then took up the paper, and
|
|
opened it. As he read it, his face became ghastly pale and he fell
|
|
back in his chair. A horrible sense of sickness came over him. He
|
|
felt as if his heart was beating itself to death in some empty hollow.
|
|
|
|
After two or three minutes of terrible silence, Dorian turned round and
|
|
came and stood behind him, putting his hand upon his shoulder.
|
|
|
|
"I am so sorry for you, Alan," he murmured, "but you leave me no
|
|
alternative. I have a letter written already. Here it is. You see
|
|
the address. If you don't help me, I must send it. If you don't help
|
|
me, I will send it. You know what the result will be. But you are
|
|
going to help me. It is impossible for you to refuse now. I tried to
|
|
spare you. You will do me the justice to admit that. You were stern,
|
|
harsh, offensive. You treated me as no man has ever dared to treat
|
|
me--no living man, at any rate. I bore it all. Now it is for me to
|
|
dictate terms."
|
|
|
|
Campbell buried his face in his hands, and a shudder passed through him.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, it is my turn to dictate terms, Alan. You know what they are.
|
|
The thing is quite simple. Come, don't work yourself into this fever.
|
|
The thing has to be done. Face it, and do it."
|
|
|
|
A groan broke from Campbell's lips and he shivered all over. The
|
|
ticking of the clock on the mantelpiece seemed to him to be dividing
|
|
time into separate atoms of agony, each of which was too terrible to be
|
|
borne. He felt as if an iron ring was being slowly tightened round his
|
|
forehead, as if the disgrace with which he was threatened had already
|
|
come upon him. The hand upon his shoulder weighed like a hand of lead.
|
|
It was intolerable. It seemed to crush him.
|
|
|
|
"Come, Alan, you must decide at once."
|
|
|
|
"I cannot do it," he said, mechanically, as though words could alter
|
|
things.
|
|
|
|
"You must. You have no choice. Don't delay."
|
|
|
|
He hesitated a moment. "Is there a fire in the room upstairs?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, there is a gas-fire with asbestos."
|
|
|
|
"I shall have to go home and get some things from the laboratory."
|
|
|
|
"No, Alan, you must not leave the house. Write out on a sheet of
|
|
notepaper what you want and my servant will take a cab and bring the
|
|
things back to you."
|
|
|
|
Campbell scrawled a few lines, blotted them, and addressed an envelope
|
|
to his assistant. Dorian took the note up and read it carefully. Then
|
|
he rang the bell and gave it to his valet, with orders to return as
|
|
soon as possible and to bring the things with him.
|
|
|
|
As the hall door shut, Campbell started nervously, and having got up
|
|
from the chair, went over to the chimney-piece. He was shivering with a
|
|
kind of ague. For nearly twenty minutes, neither of the men spoke. A
|
|
fly buzzed noisily about the room, and the ticking of the clock was
|
|
like the beat of a hammer.
|
|
|
|
As the chime struck one, Campbell turned round, and looking at Dorian
|
|
Gray, saw that his eyes were filled with tears. There was something in
|
|
the purity and refinement of that sad face that seemed to enrage him.
|
|
"You are infamous, absolutely infamous!" he muttered.
|
|
|
|
"Hush, Alan. You have saved my life," said Dorian.
|
|
|
|
"Your life? Good heavens! what a life that is! You have gone from
|
|
corruption to corruption, and now you have culminated in crime. In
|
|
doing what I am going to do--what you force me to do--it is not of your
|
|
life that I am thinking."
|
|
|
|
"Ah, Alan," murmured Dorian with a sigh, "I wish you had a thousandth
|
|
part of the pity for me that I have for you." He turned away as he
|
|
spoke and stood looking out at the garden. Campbell made no answer.
|
|
|
|
After about ten minutes a knock came to the door, and the servant
|
|
entered, carrying a large mahogany chest of chemicals, with a long coil
|
|
of steel and platinum wire and two rather curiously shaped iron clamps.
|
|
|
|
"Shall I leave the things here, sir?" he asked Campbell.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Dorian. "And I am afraid, Francis, that I have another
|
|
errand for you. What is the name of the man at Richmond who supplies
|
|
Selby with orchids?"
|
|
|
|
"Harden, sir."
|
|
|
|
"Yes--Harden. You must go down to Richmond at once, see Harden
|
|
personally, and tell him to send twice as many orchids as I ordered,
|
|
and to have as few white ones as possible. In fact, I don't want any
|
|
white ones. It is a lovely day, Francis, and Richmond is a very pretty
|
|
place--otherwise I wouldn't bother you about it."
|
|
|
|
"No trouble, sir. At what time shall I be back?"
|
|
|
|
Dorian looked at Campbell. "How long will your experiment take, Alan?"
|
|
he said in a calm indifferent voice. The presence of a third person in
|
|
the room seemed to give him extraordinary courage.
|
|
|
|
Campbell frowned and bit his lip. "It will take about five hours," he
|
|
answered.
|
|
|
|
"It will be time enough, then, if you are back at half-past seven,
|
|
Francis. Or stay: just leave my things out for dressing. You can
|
|
have the evening to yourself. I am not dining at home, so I shall not
|
|
want you."
|
|
|
|
"Thank you, sir," said the man, leaving the room.
|
|
|
|
"Now, Alan, there is not a moment to be lost. How heavy this chest is!
|
|
I'll take it for you. You bring the other things." He spoke rapidly
|
|
and in an authoritative manner. Campbell felt dominated by him. They
|
|
left the room together.
|
|
|
|
When they reached the top landing, Dorian took out the key and turned
|
|
it in the lock. Then he stopped, and a troubled look came into his
|
|
eyes. He shuddered. "I don't think I can go in, Alan," he murmured.
|
|
|
|
"It is nothing to me. I don't require you," said Campbell coldly.
|
|
|
|
Dorian half opened the door. As he did so, he saw the face of his
|
|
portrait leering in the sunlight. On the floor in front of it the torn
|
|
curtain was lying. He remembered that the night before he had
|
|
forgotten, for the first time in his life, to hide the fatal canvas,
|
|
and was about to rush forward, when he drew back with a shudder.
|
|
|
|
What was that loathsome red dew that gleamed, wet and glistening, on
|
|
one of the hands, as though the canvas had sweated blood? How horrible
|
|
it was!--more horrible, it seemed to him for the moment, than the
|
|
silent thing that he knew was stretched across the table, the thing
|
|
whose grotesque misshapen shadow on the spotted carpet showed him that
|
|
it had not stirred, but was still there, as he had left it.
|
|
|
|
He heaved a deep breath, opened the door a little wider, and with
|
|
half-closed eyes and averted head, walked quickly in, determined that
|
|
he would not look even once upon the dead man. Then, stooping down and
|
|
taking up the gold-and-purple hanging, he flung it right over the
|
|
picture.
|
|
|
|
There he stopped, feeling afraid to turn round, and his eyes fixed
|
|
themselves on the intricacies of the pattern before him. He heard
|
|
Campbell bringing in the heavy chest, and the irons, and the other
|
|
things that he had required for his dreadful work. He began to wonder
|
|
if he and Basil Hallward had ever met, and, if so, what they had
|
|
thought of each other.
|
|
|
|
"Leave me now," said a stern voice behind him.
|
|
|
|
He turned and hurried out, just conscious that the dead man had been
|
|
thrust back into the chair and that Campbell was gazing into a
|
|
glistening yellow face. As he was going downstairs, he heard the key
|
|
being turned in the lock.
|
|
|
|
It was long after seven when Campbell came back into the library. He
|
|
was pale, but absolutely calm. "I have done what you asked me to do,"
|
|
he muttered. "And now, good-bye. Let us never see each other again."
|
|
|
|
"You have saved me from ruin, Alan. I cannot forget that," said Dorian
|
|
simply.
|
|
|
|
As soon as Campbell had left, he went upstairs. There was a horrible
|
|
smell of nitric acid in the room. But the thing that had been sitting
|
|
at the table was gone.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 15
|
|
|
|
That evening, at eight-thirty, exquisitely dressed and wearing a large
|
|
button-hole of Parma violets, Dorian Gray was ushered into Lady
|
|
Narborough's drawing-room by bowing servants. His forehead was
|
|
throbbing with maddened nerves, and he felt wildly excited, but his
|
|
manner as he bent over his hostess's hand was as easy and graceful as
|
|
ever. Perhaps one never seems so much at one's ease as when one has to
|
|
play a part. Certainly no one looking at Dorian Gray that night could
|
|
have believed that he had passed through a tragedy as horrible as any
|
|
tragedy of our age. Those finely shaped fingers could never have
|
|
clutched a knife for sin, nor those smiling lips have cried out on God
|
|
and goodness. He himself could not help wondering at the calm of his
|
|
demeanour, and for a moment felt keenly the terrible pleasure of a
|
|
double life.
|
|
|
|
It was a small party, got up rather in a hurry by Lady Narborough, who
|
|
was a very clever woman with what Lord Henry used to describe as the
|
|
remains of really remarkable ugliness. She had proved an excellent
|
|
wife to one of our most tedious ambassadors, and having buried her
|
|
husband properly in a marble mausoleum, which she had herself designed,
|
|
and married off her daughters to some rich, rather elderly men, she
|
|
devoted herself now to the pleasures of French fiction, French cookery,
|
|
and French _esprit_ when she could get it.
|
|
|
|
Dorian was one of her especial favourites, and she always told him that
|
|
she was extremely glad she had not met him in early life. "I know, my
|
|
dear, I should have fallen madly in love with you," she used to say,
|
|
"and thrown my bonnet right over the mills for your sake. It is most
|
|
fortunate that you were not thought of at the time. As it was, our
|
|
bonnets were so unbecoming, and the mills were so occupied in trying to
|
|
raise the wind, that I never had even a flirtation with anybody.
|
|
However, that was all Narborough's fault. He was dreadfully
|
|
short-sighted, and there is no pleasure in taking in a husband who
|
|
never sees anything."
|
|
|
|
Her guests this evening were rather tedious. The fact was, as she
|
|
explained to Dorian, behind a very shabby fan, one of her married
|
|
daughters had come up quite suddenly to stay with her, and, to make
|
|
matters worse, had actually brought her husband with her. "I think it
|
|
is most unkind of her, my dear," she whispered. "Of course I go and
|
|
stay with them every summer after I come from Homburg, but then an old
|
|
woman like me must have fresh air sometimes, and besides, I really wake
|
|
them up. You don't know what an existence they lead down there. It is
|
|
pure unadulterated country life. They get up early, because they have
|
|
so much to do, and go to bed early, because they have so little to
|
|
think about. There has not been a scandal in the neighbourhood since
|
|
the time of Queen Elizabeth, and consequently they all fall asleep
|
|
after dinner. You shan't sit next either of them. You shall sit by me
|
|
and amuse me."
|
|
|
|
Dorian murmured a graceful compliment and looked round the room. Yes:
|
|
it was certainly a tedious party. Two of the people he had never seen
|
|
before, and the others consisted of Ernest Harrowden, one of those
|
|
middle-aged mediocrities so common in London clubs who have no enemies,
|
|
but are thoroughly disliked by their friends; Lady Ruxton, an
|
|
overdressed woman of forty-seven, with a hooked nose, who was always
|
|
trying to get herself compromised, but was so peculiarly plain that to
|
|
her great disappointment no one would ever believe anything against
|
|
her; Mrs. Erlynne, a pushing nobody, with a delightful lisp and
|
|
Venetian-red hair; Lady Alice Chapman, his hostess's daughter, a dowdy
|
|
dull girl, with one of those characteristic British faces that, once
|
|
seen, are never remembered; and her husband, a red-cheeked,
|
|
white-whiskered creature who, like so many of his class, was under the
|
|
impression that inordinate joviality can atone for an entire lack of
|
|
ideas.
|
|
|
|
He was rather sorry he had come, till Lady Narborough, looking at the
|
|
great ormolu gilt clock that sprawled in gaudy curves on the
|
|
mauve-draped mantelshelf, exclaimed: "How horrid of Henry Wotton to be
|
|
so late! I sent round to him this morning on chance and he promised
|
|
faithfully not to disappoint me."
|
|
|
|
It was some consolation that Harry was to be there, and when the door
|
|
opened and he heard his slow musical voice lending charm to some
|
|
insincere apology, he ceased to feel bored.
|
|
|
|
But at dinner he could not eat anything. Plate after plate went away
|
|
untasted. Lady Narborough kept scolding him for what she called "an
|
|
insult to poor Adolphe, who invented the _menu_ specially for you," and
|
|
now and then Lord Henry looked across at him, wondering at his silence
|
|
and abstracted manner. From time to time the butler filled his glass
|
|
with champagne. He drank eagerly, and his thirst seemed to increase.
|
|
|
|
"Dorian," said Lord Henry at last, as the _chaud-froid_ was being handed
|
|
round, "what is the matter with you to-night? You are quite out of
|
|
sorts."
|
|
|
|
"I believe he is in love," cried Lady Narborough, "and that he is
|
|
afraid to tell me for fear I should be jealous. He is quite right. I
|
|
certainly should."
|
|
|
|
"Dear Lady Narborough," murmured Dorian, smiling, "I have not been in
|
|
love for a whole week--not, in fact, since Madame de Ferrol left town."
|
|
|
|
"How you men can fall in love with that woman!" exclaimed the old lady.
|
|
"I really cannot understand it."
|
|
|
|
"It is simply because she remembers you when you were a little girl,
|
|
Lady Narborough," said Lord Henry. "She is the one link between us and
|
|
your short frocks."
|
|
|
|
"She does not remember my short frocks at all, Lord Henry. But I
|
|
remember her very well at Vienna thirty years ago, and how _decolletee_
|
|
she was then."
|
|
|
|
"She is still _decolletee_," he answered, taking an olive in his long
|
|
fingers; "and when she is in a very smart gown she looks like an
|
|
_edition de luxe_ of a bad French novel. She is really wonderful, and
|
|
full of surprises. Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary.
|
|
When her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief."
|
|
|
|
"How can you, Harry!" cried Dorian.
|
|
|
|
"It is a most romantic explanation," laughed the hostess. "But her
|
|
third husband, Lord Henry! You don't mean to say Ferrol is the fourth?"
|
|
|
|
"Certainly, Lady Narborough."
|
|
|
|
"I don't believe a word of it."
|
|
|
|
"Well, ask Mr. Gray. He is one of her most intimate friends."
|
|
|
|
"Is it true, Mr. Gray?"
|
|
|
|
"She assures me so, Lady Narborough," said Dorian. "I asked her
|
|
whether, like Marguerite de Navarre, she had their hearts embalmed and
|
|
hung at her girdle. She told me she didn't, because none of them had
|
|
had any hearts at all."
|
|
|
|
"Four husbands! Upon my word that is _trop de zele_."
|
|
|
|
"_Trop d'audace_, I tell her," said Dorian.
|
|
|
|
"Oh! she is audacious enough for anything, my dear. And what is Ferrol
|
|
like? I don't know him."
|
|
|
|
"The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes,"
|
|
said Lord Henry, sipping his wine.
|
|
|
|
Lady Narborough hit him with her fan. "Lord Henry, I am not at all
|
|
surprised that the world says that you are extremely wicked."
|
|
|
|
"But what world says that?" asked Lord Henry, elevating his eyebrows.
|
|
"It can only be the next world. This world and I are on excellent
|
|
terms."
|
|
|
|
"Everybody I know says you are very wicked," cried the old lady,
|
|
shaking her head.
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry looked serious for some moments. "It is perfectly
|
|
monstrous," he said, at last, "the way people go about nowadays saying
|
|
things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely
|
|
true."
|
|
|
|
"Isn't he incorrigible?" cried Dorian, leaning forward in his chair.
|
|
|
|
"I hope so," said his hostess, laughing. "But really, if you all
|
|
worship Madame de Ferrol in this ridiculous way, I shall have to marry
|
|
again so as to be in the fashion."
|
|
|
|
"You will never marry again, Lady Narborough," broke in Lord Henry.
|
|
"You were far too happy. When a woman marries again, it is because she
|
|
detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he
|
|
adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs."
|
|
|
|
"Narborough wasn't perfect," cried the old lady.
|
|
|
|
"If he had been, you would not have loved him, my dear lady," was the
|
|
rejoinder. "Women love us for our defects. If we have enough of them,
|
|
they will forgive us everything, even our intellects. You will never
|
|
ask me to dinner again after saying this, I am afraid, Lady Narborough,
|
|
but it is quite true."
|
|
|
|
"Of course it is true, Lord Henry. If we women did not love you for
|
|
your defects, where would you all be? Not one of you would ever be
|
|
married. You would be a set of unfortunate bachelors. Not, however,
|
|
that that would alter you much. Nowadays all the married men live like
|
|
bachelors, and all the bachelors like married men."
|
|
|
|
"_Fin de siecle_," murmured Lord Henry.
|
|
|
|
"_Fin du globe_," answered his hostess.
|
|
|
|
"I wish it were _fin du globe_," said Dorian with a sigh. "Life is a
|
|
great disappointment."
|
|
|
|
"Ah, my dear," cried Lady Narborough, putting on her gloves, "don't
|
|
tell me that you have exhausted life. When a man says that one knows
|
|
that life has exhausted him. Lord Henry is very wicked, and I
|
|
sometimes wish that I had been; but you are made to be good--you look
|
|
so good. I must find you a nice wife. Lord Henry, don't you think
|
|
that Mr. Gray should get married?"
|
|
|
|
"I am always telling him so, Lady Narborough," said Lord Henry with a
|
|
bow.
|
|
|
|
"Well, we must look out for a suitable match for him. I shall go
|
|
through Debrett carefully to-night and draw out a list of all the
|
|
eligible young ladies."
|
|
|
|
"With their ages, Lady Narborough?" asked Dorian.
|
|
|
|
"Of course, with their ages, slightly edited. But nothing must be done
|
|
in a hurry. I want it to be what _The Morning Post_ calls a suitable
|
|
alliance, and I want you both to be happy."
|
|
|
|
"What nonsense people talk about happy marriages!" exclaimed Lord
|
|
Henry. "A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love
|
|
her."
|
|
|
|
"Ah! what a cynic you are!" cried the old lady, pushing back her chair
|
|
and nodding to Lady Ruxton. "You must come and dine with me soon
|
|
again. You are really an admirable tonic, much better than what Sir
|
|
Andrew prescribes for me. You must tell me what people you would like
|
|
to meet, though. I want it to be a delightful gathering."
|
|
|
|
"I like men who have a future and women who have a past," he answered.
|
|
"Or do you think that would make it a petticoat party?"
|
|
|
|
"I fear so," she said, laughing, as she stood up. "A thousand pardons,
|
|
my dear Lady Ruxton," she added, "I didn't see you hadn't finished your
|
|
cigarette."
|
|
|
|
"Never mind, Lady Narborough. I smoke a great deal too much. I am
|
|
going to limit myself, for the future."
|
|
|
|
"Pray don't, Lady Ruxton," said Lord Henry. "Moderation is a fatal
|
|
thing. Enough is as bad as a meal. More than enough is as good as a
|
|
feast."
|
|
|
|
Lady Ruxton glanced at him curiously. "You must come and explain that
|
|
to me some afternoon, Lord Henry. It sounds a fascinating theory," she
|
|
murmured, as she swept out of the room.
|
|
|
|
"Now, mind you don't stay too long over your politics and scandal,"
|
|
cried Lady Narborough from the door. "If you do, we are sure to
|
|
squabble upstairs."
|
|
|
|
The men laughed, and Mr. Chapman got up solemnly from the foot of the
|
|
table and came up to the top. Dorian Gray changed his seat and went
|
|
and sat by Lord Henry. Mr. Chapman began to talk in a loud voice about
|
|
the situation in the House of Commons. He guffawed at his adversaries.
|
|
The word _doctrinaire_--word full of terror to the British
|
|
mind--reappeared from time to time between his explosions. An
|
|
alliterative prefix served as an ornament of oratory. He hoisted the
|
|
Union Jack on the pinnacles of thought. The inherited stupidity of the
|
|
race--sound English common sense he jovially termed it--was shown to be
|
|
the proper bulwark for society.
|
|
|
|
A smile curved Lord Henry's lips, and he turned round and looked at
|
|
Dorian.
|
|
|
|
"Are you better, my dear fellow?" he asked. "You seemed rather out of
|
|
sorts at dinner."
|
|
|
|
"I am quite well, Harry. I am tired. That is all."
|
|
|
|
"You were charming last night. The little duchess is quite devoted to
|
|
you. She tells me she is going down to Selby."
|
|
|
|
"She has promised to come on the twentieth."
|
|
|
|
"Is Monmouth to be there, too?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, yes, Harry."
|
|
|
|
"He bores me dreadfully, almost as much as he bores her. She is very
|
|
clever, too clever for a woman. She lacks the indefinable charm of
|
|
weakness. It is the feet of clay that make the gold of the image
|
|
precious. Her feet are very pretty, but they are not feet of clay.
|
|
White porcelain feet, if you like. They have been through the fire,
|
|
and what fire does not destroy, it hardens. She has had experiences."
|
|
|
|
"How long has she been married?" asked Dorian.
|
|
|
|
"An eternity, she tells me. I believe, according to the peerage, it is
|
|
ten years, but ten years with Monmouth must have been like eternity,
|
|
with time thrown in. Who else is coming?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, the Willoughbys, Lord Rugby and his wife, our hostess, Geoffrey
|
|
Clouston, the usual set. I have asked Lord Grotrian."
|
|
|
|
"I like him," said Lord Henry. "A great many people don't, but I find
|
|
him charming. He atones for being occasionally somewhat overdressed by
|
|
being always absolutely over-educated. He is a very modern type."
|
|
|
|
"I don't know if he will be able to come, Harry. He may have to go to
|
|
Monte Carlo with his father."
|
|
|
|
"Ah! what a nuisance people's people are! Try and make him come. By
|
|
the way, Dorian, you ran off very early last night. You left before
|
|
eleven. What did you do afterwards? Did you go straight home?"
|
|
|
|
Dorian glanced at him hurriedly and frowned.
|
|
|
|
"No, Harry," he said at last, "I did not get home till nearly three."
|
|
|
|
"Did you go to the club?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes," he answered. Then he bit his lip. "No, I don't mean that. I
|
|
didn't go to the club. I walked about. I forget what I did.... How
|
|
inquisitive you are, Harry! You always want to know what one has been
|
|
doing. I always want to forget what I have been doing. I came in at
|
|
half-past two, if you wish to know the exact time. I had left my
|
|
latch-key at home, and my servant had to let me in. If you want any
|
|
corroborative evidence on the subject, you can ask him."
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry shrugged his shoulders. "My dear fellow, as if I cared!
|
|
Let us go up to the drawing-room. No sherry, thank you, Mr. Chapman.
|
|
Something has happened to you, Dorian. Tell me what it is. You are
|
|
not yourself to-night."
|
|
|
|
"Don't mind me, Harry. I am irritable, and out of temper. I shall
|
|
come round and see you to-morrow, or next day. Make my excuses to Lady
|
|
Narborough. I shan't go upstairs. I shall go home. I must go home."
|
|
|
|
"All right, Dorian. I dare say I shall see you to-morrow at tea-time.
|
|
The duchess is coming."
|
|
|
|
"I will try to be there, Harry," he said, leaving the room. As he
|
|
drove back to his own house, he was conscious that the sense of terror
|
|
he thought he had strangled had come back to him. Lord Henry's casual
|
|
questioning had made him lose his nerve for the moment, and he wanted
|
|
his nerve still. Things that were dangerous had to be destroyed. He
|
|
winced. He hated the idea of even touching them.
|
|
|
|
Yet it had to be done. He realized that, and when he had locked the
|
|
door of his library, he opened the secret press into which he had
|
|
thrust Basil Hallward's coat and bag. A huge fire was blazing. He
|
|
piled another log on it. The smell of the singeing clothes and burning
|
|
leather was horrible. It took him three-quarters of an hour to consume
|
|
everything. At the end he felt faint and sick, and having lit some
|
|
Algerian pastilles in a pierced copper brazier, he bathed his hands and
|
|
forehead with a cool musk-scented vinegar.
|
|
|
|
Suddenly he started. His eyes grew strangely bright, and he gnawed
|
|
nervously at his underlip. Between two of the windows stood a large
|
|
Florentine cabinet, made out of ebony and inlaid with ivory and blue
|
|
lapis. He watched it as though it were a thing that could fascinate
|
|
and make afraid, as though it held something that he longed for and yet
|
|
almost loathed. His breath quickened. A mad craving came over him.
|
|
He lit a cigarette and then threw it away. His eyelids drooped till
|
|
the long fringed lashes almost touched his cheek. But he still watched
|
|
the cabinet. At last he got up from the sofa on which he had been
|
|
lying, went over to it, and having unlocked it, touched some hidden
|
|
spring. A triangular drawer passed slowly out. His fingers moved
|
|
instinctively towards it, dipped in, and closed on something. It was a
|
|
small Chinese box of black and gold-dust lacquer, elaborately wrought,
|
|
the sides patterned with curved waves, and the silken cords hung with
|
|
round crystals and tasselled in plaited metal threads. He opened it.
|
|
Inside was a green paste, waxy in lustre, the odour curiously heavy and
|
|
persistent.
|
|
|
|
He hesitated for some moments, with a strangely immobile smile upon his
|
|
face. Then shivering, though the atmosphere of the room was terribly
|
|
hot, he drew himself up and glanced at the clock. It was twenty
|
|
minutes to twelve. He put the box back, shutting the cabinet doors as
|
|
he did so, and went into his bedroom.
|
|
|
|
As midnight was striking bronze blows upon the dusky air, Dorian Gray,
|
|
dressed commonly, and with a muffler wrapped round his throat, crept
|
|
quietly out of his house. In Bond Street he found a hansom with a good
|
|
horse. He hailed it and in a low voice gave the driver an address.
|
|
|
|
The man shook his head. "It is too far for me," he muttered.
|
|
|
|
"Here is a sovereign for you," said Dorian. "You shall have another if
|
|
you drive fast."
|
|
|
|
"All right, sir," answered the man, "you will be there in an hour," and
|
|
after his fare had got in he turned his horse round and drove rapidly
|
|
towards the river.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 16
|
|
|
|
A cold rain began to fall, and the blurred street-lamps looked ghastly
|
|
in the dripping mist. The public-houses were just closing, and dim men
|
|
and women were clustering in broken groups round their doors. From
|
|
some of the bars came the sound of horrible laughter. In others,
|
|
drunkards brawled and screamed.
|
|
|
|
Lying back in the hansom, with his hat pulled over his forehead, Dorian
|
|
Gray watched with listless eyes the sordid shame of the great city, and
|
|
now and then he repeated to himself the words that Lord Henry had said
|
|
to him on the first day they had met, "To cure the soul by means of the
|
|
senses, and the senses by means of the soul." Yes, that was the
|
|
secret. He had often tried it, and would try it again now. There were
|
|
opium dens where one could buy oblivion, dens of horror where the
|
|
memory of old sins could be destroyed by the madness of sins that were
|
|
new.
|
|
|
|
The moon hung low in the sky like a yellow skull. From time to time a
|
|
huge misshapen cloud stretched a long arm across and hid it. The
|
|
gas-lamps grew fewer, and the streets more narrow and gloomy. Once the
|
|
man lost his way and had to drive back half a mile. A steam rose from
|
|
the horse as it splashed up the puddles. The sidewindows of the hansom
|
|
were clogged with a grey-flannel mist.
|
|
|
|
"To cure the soul by means of the senses, and the senses by means of
|
|
the soul!" How the words rang in his ears! His soul, certainly, was
|
|
sick to death. Was it true that the senses could cure it? Innocent
|
|
blood had been spilled. What could atone for that? Ah! for that there
|
|
was no atonement; but though forgiveness was impossible, forgetfulness
|
|
was possible still, and he was determined to forget, to stamp the thing
|
|
out, to crush it as one would crush the adder that had stung one.
|
|
Indeed, what right had Basil to have spoken to him as he had done? Who
|
|
had made him a judge over others? He had said things that were
|
|
dreadful, horrible, not to be endured.
|
|
|
|
On and on plodded the hansom, going slower, it seemed to him, at each
|
|
step. He thrust up the trap and called to the man to drive faster.
|
|
The hideous hunger for opium began to gnaw at him. His throat burned
|
|
and his delicate hands twitched nervously together. He struck at the
|
|
horse madly with his stick. The driver laughed and whipped up. He
|
|
laughed in answer, and the man was silent.
|
|
|
|
The way seemed interminable, and the streets like the black web of some
|
|
sprawling spider. The monotony became unbearable, and as the mist
|
|
thickened, he felt afraid.
|
|
|
|
Then they passed by lonely brickfields. The fog was lighter here, and
|
|
he could see the strange, bottle-shaped kilns with their orange,
|
|
fanlike tongues of fire. A dog barked as they went by, and far away in
|
|
the darkness some wandering sea-gull screamed. The horse stumbled in a
|
|
rut, then swerved aside and broke into a gallop.
|
|
|
|
After some time they left the clay road and rattled again over
|
|
rough-paven streets. Most of the windows were dark, but now and then
|
|
fantastic shadows were silhouetted against some lamplit blind. He
|
|
watched them curiously. They moved like monstrous marionettes and made
|
|
gestures like live things. He hated them. A dull rage was in his
|
|
heart. As they turned a corner, a woman yelled something at them from
|
|
an open door, and two men ran after the hansom for about a hundred
|
|
yards. The driver beat at them with his whip.
|
|
|
|
It is said that passion makes one think in a circle. Certainly with
|
|
hideous iteration the bitten lips of Dorian Gray shaped and reshaped
|
|
those subtle words that dealt with soul and sense, till he had found in
|
|
them the full expression, as it were, of his mood, and justified, by
|
|
intellectual approval, passions that without such justification would
|
|
still have dominated his temper. From cell to cell of his brain crept
|
|
the one thought; and the wild desire to live, most terrible of all
|
|
man's appetites, quickened into force each trembling nerve and fibre.
|
|
Ugliness that had once been hateful to him because it made things real,
|
|
became dear to him now for that very reason. Ugliness was the one
|
|
reality. The coarse brawl, the loathsome den, the crude violence of
|
|
disordered life, the very vileness of thief and outcast, were more
|
|
vivid, in their intense actuality of impression, than all the gracious
|
|
shapes of art, the dreamy shadows of song. They were what he needed
|
|
for forgetfulness. In three days he would be free.
|
|
|
|
Suddenly the man drew up with a jerk at the top of a dark lane. Over
|
|
the low roofs and jagged chimney-stacks of the houses rose the black
|
|
masts of ships. Wreaths of white mist clung like ghostly sails to the
|
|
yards.
|
|
|
|
"Somewhere about here, sir, ain't it?" he asked huskily through the
|
|
trap.
|
|
|
|
Dorian started and peered round. "This will do," he answered, and
|
|
having got out hastily and given the driver the extra fare he had
|
|
promised him, he walked quickly in the direction of the quay. Here and
|
|
there a lantern gleamed at the stern of some huge merchantman. The
|
|
light shook and splintered in the puddles. A red glare came from an
|
|
outward-bound steamer that was coaling. The slimy pavement looked like
|
|
a wet mackintosh.
|
|
|
|
He hurried on towards the left, glancing back now and then to see if he
|
|
was being followed. In about seven or eight minutes he reached a small
|
|
shabby house that was wedged in between two gaunt factories. In one of
|
|
the top-windows stood a lamp. He stopped and gave a peculiar knock.
|
|
|
|
After a little time he heard steps in the passage and the chain being
|
|
unhooked. The door opened quietly, and he went in without saying a
|
|
word to the squat misshapen figure that flattened itself into the
|
|
shadow as he passed. At the end of the hall hung a tattered green
|
|
curtain that swayed and shook in the gusty wind which had followed him
|
|
in from the street. He dragged it aside and entered a long low room
|
|
which looked as if it had once been a third-rate dancing-saloon. Shrill
|
|
flaring gas-jets, dulled and distorted in the fly-blown mirrors that
|
|
faced them, were ranged round the walls. Greasy reflectors of ribbed
|
|
tin backed them, making quivering disks of light. The floor was
|
|
covered with ochre-coloured sawdust, trampled here and there into mud,
|
|
and stained with dark rings of spilled liquor. Some Malays were
|
|
crouching by a little charcoal stove, playing with bone counters and
|
|
showing their white teeth as they chattered. In one corner, with his
|
|
head buried in his arms, a sailor sprawled over a table, and by the
|
|
tawdrily painted bar that ran across one complete side stood two
|
|
haggard women, mocking an old man who was brushing the sleeves of his
|
|
coat with an expression of disgust. "He thinks he's got red ants on
|
|
him," laughed one of them, as Dorian passed by. The man looked at her
|
|
in terror and began to whimper.
|
|
|
|
At the end of the room there was a little staircase, leading to a
|
|
darkened chamber. As Dorian hurried up its three rickety steps, the
|
|
heavy odour of opium met him. He heaved a deep breath, and his
|
|
nostrils quivered with pleasure. When he entered, a young man with
|
|
smooth yellow hair, who was bending over a lamp lighting a long thin
|
|
pipe, looked up at him and nodded in a hesitating manner.
|
|
|
|
"You here, Adrian?" muttered Dorian.
|
|
|
|
"Where else should I be?" he answered, listlessly. "None of the chaps
|
|
will speak to me now."
|
|
|
|
"I thought you had left England."
|
|
|
|
"Darlington is not going to do anything. My brother paid the bill at
|
|
last. George doesn't speak to me either.... I don't care," he added
|
|
with a sigh. "As long as one has this stuff, one doesn't want friends.
|
|
I think I have had too many friends."
|
|
|
|
Dorian winced and looked round at the grotesque things that lay in such
|
|
fantastic postures on the ragged mattresses. The twisted limbs, the
|
|
gaping mouths, the staring lustreless eyes, fascinated him. He knew in
|
|
what strange heavens they were suffering, and what dull hells were
|
|
teaching them the secret of some new joy. They were better off than he
|
|
was. He was prisoned in thought. Memory, like a horrible malady, was
|
|
eating his soul away. From time to time he seemed to see the eyes of
|
|
Basil Hallward looking at him. Yet he felt he could not stay. The
|
|
presence of Adrian Singleton troubled him. He wanted to be where no
|
|
one would know who he was. He wanted to escape from himself.
|
|
|
|
"I am going on to the other place," he said after a pause.
|
|
|
|
"On the wharf?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes."
|
|
|
|
"That mad-cat is sure to be there. They won't have her in this place
|
|
now."
|
|
|
|
Dorian shrugged his shoulders. "I am sick of women who love one.
|
|
Women who hate one are much more interesting. Besides, the stuff is
|
|
better."
|
|
|
|
"Much the same."
|
|
|
|
"I like it better. Come and have something to drink. I must have
|
|
something."
|
|
|
|
"I don't want anything," murmured the young man.
|
|
|
|
"Never mind."
|
|
|
|
Adrian Singleton rose up wearily and followed Dorian to the bar. A
|
|
half-caste, in a ragged turban and a shabby ulster, grinned a hideous
|
|
greeting as he thrust a bottle of brandy and two tumblers in front of
|
|
them. The women sidled up and began to chatter. Dorian turned his
|
|
back on them and said something in a low voice to Adrian Singleton.
|
|
|
|
A crooked smile, like a Malay crease, writhed across the face of one of
|
|
the women. "We are very proud to-night," she sneered.
|
|
|
|
"For God's sake don't talk to me," cried Dorian, stamping his foot on
|
|
the ground. "What do you want? Money? Here it is. Don't ever talk
|
|
to me again."
|
|
|
|
Two red sparks flashed for a moment in the woman's sodden eyes, then
|
|
flickered out and left them dull and glazed. She tossed her head and
|
|
raked the coins off the counter with greedy fingers. Her companion
|
|
watched her enviously.
|
|
|
|
"It's no use," sighed Adrian Singleton. "I don't care to go back.
|
|
What does it matter? I am quite happy here."
|
|
|
|
"You will write to me if you want anything, won't you?" said Dorian,
|
|
after a pause.
|
|
|
|
"Perhaps."
|
|
|
|
"Good night, then."
|
|
|
|
"Good night," answered the young man, passing up the steps and wiping
|
|
his parched mouth with a handkerchief.
|
|
|
|
Dorian walked to the door with a look of pain in his face. As he drew
|
|
the curtain aside, a hideous laugh broke from the painted lips of the
|
|
woman who had taken his money. "There goes the devil's bargain!" she
|
|
hiccoughed, in a hoarse voice.
|
|
|
|
"Curse you!" he answered, "don't call me that."
|
|
|
|
She snapped her fingers. "Prince Charming is what you like to be
|
|
called, ain't it?" she yelled after him.
|
|
|
|
The drowsy sailor leaped to his feet as she spoke, and looked wildly
|
|
round. The sound of the shutting of the hall door fell on his ear. He
|
|
rushed out as if in pursuit.
|
|
|
|
Dorian Gray hurried along the quay through the drizzling rain. His
|
|
meeting with Adrian Singleton had strangely moved him, and he wondered
|
|
if the ruin of that young life was really to be laid at his door, as
|
|
Basil Hallward had said to him with such infamy of insult. He bit his
|
|
lip, and for a few seconds his eyes grew sad. Yet, after all, what did
|
|
it matter to him? One's days were too brief to take the burden of
|
|
another's errors on one's shoulders. Each man lived his own life and
|
|
paid his own price for living it. The only pity was one had to pay so
|
|
often for a single fault. One had to pay over and over again, indeed.
|
|
In her dealings with man, destiny never closed her accounts.
|
|
|
|
There are moments, psychologists tell us, when the passion for sin, or
|
|
for what the world calls sin, so dominates a nature that every fibre of
|
|
the body, as every cell of the brain, seems to be instinct with fearful
|
|
impulses. Men and women at such moments lose the freedom of their
|
|
will. They move to their terrible end as automatons move. Choice is
|
|
taken from them, and conscience is either killed, or, if it lives at
|
|
all, lives but to give rebellion its fascination and disobedience its
|
|
charm. For all sins, as theologians weary not of reminding us, are
|
|
sins of disobedience. When that high spirit, that morning star of
|
|
evil, fell from heaven, it was as a rebel that he fell.
|
|
|
|
Callous, concentrated on evil, with stained mind, and soul hungry for
|
|
rebellion, Dorian Gray hastened on, quickening his step as he went, but
|
|
as he darted aside into a dim archway, that had served him often as a
|
|
short cut to the ill-famed place where he was going, he felt himself
|
|
suddenly seized from behind, and before he had time to defend himself,
|
|
he was thrust back against the wall, with a brutal hand round his
|
|
throat.
|
|
|
|
He struggled madly for life, and by a terrible effort wrenched the
|
|
tightening fingers away. In a second he heard the click of a revolver,
|
|
and saw the gleam of a polished barrel, pointing straight at his head,
|
|
and the dusky form of a short, thick-set man facing him.
|
|
|
|
"What do you want?" he gasped.
|
|
|
|
"Keep quiet," said the man. "If you stir, I shoot you."
|
|
|
|
"You are mad. What have I done to you?"
|
|
|
|
"You wrecked the life of Sibyl Vane," was the answer, "and Sibyl Vane
|
|
was my sister. She killed herself. I know it. Her death is at your
|
|
door. I swore I would kill you in return. For years I have sought
|
|
you. I had no clue, no trace. The two people who could have described
|
|
you were dead. I knew nothing of you but the pet name she used to call
|
|
you. I heard it to-night by chance. Make your peace with God, for
|
|
to-night you are going to die."
|
|
|
|
Dorian Gray grew sick with fear. "I never knew her," he stammered. "I
|
|
never heard of her. You are mad."
|
|
|
|
"You had better confess your sin, for as sure as I am James Vane, you
|
|
are going to die." There was a horrible moment. Dorian did not know
|
|
what to say or do. "Down on your knees!" growled the man. "I give you
|
|
one minute to make your peace--no more. I go on board to-night for
|
|
India, and I must do my job first. One minute. That's all."
|
|
|
|
Dorian's arms fell to his side. Paralysed with terror, he did not know
|
|
what to do. Suddenly a wild hope flashed across his brain. "Stop," he
|
|
cried. "How long ago is it since your sister died? Quick, tell me!"
|
|
|
|
"Eighteen years," said the man. "Why do you ask me? What do years
|
|
matter?"
|
|
|
|
"Eighteen years," laughed Dorian Gray, with a touch of triumph in his
|
|
voice. "Eighteen years! Set me under the lamp and look at my face!"
|
|
|
|
James Vane hesitated for a moment, not understanding what was meant.
|
|
Then he seized Dorian Gray and dragged him from the archway.
|
|
|
|
Dim and wavering as was the wind-blown light, yet it served to show him
|
|
the hideous error, as it seemed, into which he had fallen, for the face
|
|
of the man he had sought to kill had all the bloom of boyhood, all the
|
|
unstained purity of youth. He seemed little more than a lad of twenty
|
|
summers, hardly older, if older indeed at all, than his sister had been
|
|
when they had parted so many years ago. It was obvious that this was
|
|
not the man who had destroyed her life.
|
|
|
|
He loosened his hold and reeled back. "My God! my God!" he cried, "and
|
|
I would have murdered you!"
|
|
|
|
Dorian Gray drew a long breath. "You have been on the brink of
|
|
committing a terrible crime, my man," he said, looking at him sternly.
|
|
"Let this be a warning to you not to take vengeance into your own
|
|
hands."
|
|
|
|
"Forgive me, sir," muttered James Vane. "I was deceived. A chance
|
|
word I heard in that damned den set me on the wrong track."
|
|
|
|
"You had better go home and put that pistol away, or you may get into
|
|
trouble," said Dorian, turning on his heel and going slowly down the
|
|
street.
|
|
|
|
James Vane stood on the pavement in horror. He was trembling from head
|
|
to foot. After a little while, a black shadow that had been creeping
|
|
along the dripping wall moved out into the light and came close to him
|
|
with stealthy footsteps. He felt a hand laid on his arm and looked
|
|
round with a start. It was one of the women who had been drinking at
|
|
the bar.
|
|
|
|
"Why didn't you kill him?" she hissed out, putting haggard face quite
|
|
close to his. "I knew you were following him when you rushed out from
|
|
Daly's. You fool! You should have killed him. He has lots of money,
|
|
and he's as bad as bad."
|
|
|
|
"He is not the man I am looking for," he answered, "and I want no man's
|
|
money. I want a man's life. The man whose life I want must be nearly
|
|
forty now. This one is little more than a boy. Thank God, I have not
|
|
got his blood upon my hands."
|
|
|
|
The woman gave a bitter laugh. "Little more than a boy!" she sneered.
|
|
"Why, man, it's nigh on eighteen years since Prince Charming made me
|
|
what I am."
|
|
|
|
"You lie!" cried James Vane.
|
|
|
|
She raised her hand up to heaven. "Before God I am telling the truth,"
|
|
she cried.
|
|
|
|
"Before God?"
|
|
|
|
"Strike me dumb if it ain't so. He is the worst one that comes here.
|
|
They say he has sold himself to the devil for a pretty face. It's nigh
|
|
on eighteen years since I met him. He hasn't changed much since then.
|
|
I have, though," she added, with a sickly leer.
|
|
|
|
"You swear this?"
|
|
|
|
"I swear it," came in hoarse echo from her flat mouth. "But don't give
|
|
me away to him," she whined; "I am afraid of him. Let me have some
|
|
money for my night's lodging."
|
|
|
|
He broke from her with an oath and rushed to the corner of the street,
|
|
but Dorian Gray had disappeared. When he looked back, the woman had
|
|
vanished also.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 17
|
|
|
|
A week later Dorian Gray was sitting in the conservatory at Selby
|
|
Royal, talking to the pretty Duchess of Monmouth, who with her husband,
|
|
a jaded-looking man of sixty, was amongst his guests. It was tea-time,
|
|
and the mellow light of the huge, lace-covered lamp that stood on the
|
|
table lit up the delicate china and hammered silver of the service at
|
|
which the duchess was presiding. Her white hands were moving daintily
|
|
among the cups, and her full red lips were smiling at something that
|
|
Dorian had whispered to her. Lord Henry was lying back in a
|
|
silk-draped wicker chair, looking at them. On a peach-coloured divan
|
|
sat Lady Narborough, pretending to listen to the duke's description of
|
|
the last Brazilian beetle that he had added to his collection. Three
|
|
young men in elaborate smoking-suits were handing tea-cakes to some of
|
|
the women. The house-party consisted of twelve people, and there were
|
|
more expected to arrive on the next day.
|
|
|
|
"What are you two talking about?" said Lord Henry, strolling over to
|
|
the table and putting his cup down. "I hope Dorian has told you about
|
|
my plan for rechristening everything, Gladys. It is a delightful idea."
|
|
|
|
"But I don't want to be rechristened, Harry," rejoined the duchess,
|
|
looking up at him with her wonderful eyes. "I am quite satisfied with
|
|
my own name, and I am sure Mr. Gray should be satisfied with his."
|
|
|
|
"My dear Gladys, I would not alter either name for the world. They are
|
|
both perfect. I was thinking chiefly of flowers. Yesterday I cut an
|
|
orchid, for my button-hole. It was a marvellous spotted thing, as
|
|
effective as the seven deadly sins. In a thoughtless moment I asked
|
|
one of the gardeners what it was called. He told me it was a fine
|
|
specimen of _Robinsoniana_, or something dreadful of that kind. It is a
|
|
sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to
|
|
things. Names are everything. I never quarrel with actions. My one
|
|
quarrel is with words. That is the reason I hate vulgar realism in
|
|
literature. The man who could call a spade a spade should be compelled
|
|
to use one. It is the only thing he is fit for."
|
|
|
|
"Then what should we call you, Harry?" she asked.
|
|
|
|
"His name is Prince Paradox," said Dorian.
|
|
|
|
"I recognize him in a flash," exclaimed the duchess.
|
|
|
|
"I won't hear of it," laughed Lord Henry, sinking into a chair. "From
|
|
a label there is no escape! I refuse the title."
|
|
|
|
"Royalties may not abdicate," fell as a warning from pretty lips.
|
|
|
|
"You wish me to defend my throne, then?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes."
|
|
|
|
"I give the truths of to-morrow."
|
|
|
|
"I prefer the mistakes of to-day," she answered.
|
|
|
|
"You disarm me, Gladys," he cried, catching the wilfulness of her mood.
|
|
|
|
"Of your shield, Harry, not of your spear."
|
|
|
|
"I never tilt against beauty," he said, with a wave of his hand.
|
|
|
|
"That is your error, Harry, believe me. You value beauty far too much."
|
|
|
|
"How can you say that? I admit that I think that it is better to be
|
|
beautiful than to be good. But on the other hand, no one is more ready
|
|
than I am to acknowledge that it is better to be good than to be ugly."
|
|
|
|
"Ugliness is one of the seven deadly sins, then?" cried the duchess.
|
|
"What becomes of your simile about the orchid?"
|
|
|
|
"Ugliness is one of the seven deadly virtues, Gladys. You, as a good
|
|
Tory, must not underrate them. Beer, the Bible, and the seven deadly
|
|
virtues have made our England what she is."
|
|
|
|
"You don't like your country, then?" she asked.
|
|
|
|
"I live in it."
|
|
|
|
"That you may censure it the better."
|
|
|
|
"Would you have me take the verdict of Europe on it?" he inquired.
|
|
|
|
"What do they say of us?"
|
|
|
|
"That Tartuffe has emigrated to England and opened a shop."
|
|
|
|
"Is that yours, Harry?"
|
|
|
|
"I give it to you."
|
|
|
|
"I could not use it. It is too true."
|
|
|
|
"You need not be afraid. Our countrymen never recognize a description."
|
|
|
|
"They are practical."
|
|
|
|
"They are more cunning than practical. When they make up their ledger,
|
|
they balance stupidity by wealth, and vice by hypocrisy."
|
|
|
|
"Still, we have done great things."
|
|
|
|
"Great things have been thrust on us, Gladys."
|
|
|
|
"We have carried their burden."
|
|
|
|
"Only as far as the Stock Exchange."
|
|
|
|
She shook her head. "I believe in the race," she cried.
|
|
|
|
"It represents the survival of the pushing."
|
|
|
|
"It has development."
|
|
|
|
"Decay fascinates me more."
|
|
|
|
"What of art?" she asked.
|
|
|
|
"It is a malady."
|
|
|
|
"Love?"
|
|
|
|
"An illusion."
|
|
|
|
"Religion?"
|
|
|
|
"The fashionable substitute for belief."
|
|
|
|
"You are a sceptic."
|
|
|
|
"Never! Scepticism is the beginning of faith."
|
|
|
|
"What are you?"
|
|
|
|
"To define is to limit."
|
|
|
|
"Give me a clue."
|
|
|
|
"Threads snap. You would lose your way in the labyrinth."
|
|
|
|
"You bewilder me. Let us talk of some one else."
|
|
|
|
"Our host is a delightful topic. Years ago he was christened Prince
|
|
Charming."
|
|
|
|
"Ah! don't remind me of that," cried Dorian Gray.
|
|
|
|
"Our host is rather horrid this evening," answered the duchess,
|
|
colouring. "I believe he thinks that Monmouth married me on purely
|
|
scientific principles as the best specimen he could find of a modern
|
|
butterfly."
|
|
|
|
"Well, I hope he won't stick pins into you, Duchess," laughed Dorian.
|
|
|
|
"Oh! my maid does that already, Mr. Gray, when she is annoyed with me."
|
|
|
|
"And what does she get annoyed with you about, Duchess?"
|
|
|
|
"For the most trivial things, Mr. Gray, I assure you. Usually because
|
|
I come in at ten minutes to nine and tell her that I must be dressed by
|
|
half-past eight."
|
|
|
|
"How unreasonable of her! You should give her warning."
|
|
|
|
"I daren't, Mr. Gray. Why, she invents hats for me. You remember the
|
|
one I wore at Lady Hilstone's garden-party? You don't, but it is nice
|
|
of you to pretend that you do. Well, she made it out of nothing. All
|
|
good hats are made out of nothing."
|
|
|
|
"Like all good reputations, Gladys," interrupted Lord Henry. "Every
|
|
effect that one produces gives one an enemy. To be popular one must be
|
|
a mediocrity."
|
|
|
|
"Not with women," said the duchess, shaking her head; "and women rule
|
|
the world. I assure you we can't bear mediocrities. We women, as some
|
|
one says, love with our ears, just as you men love with your eyes, if
|
|
you ever love at all."
|
|
|
|
"It seems to me that we never do anything else," murmured Dorian.
|
|
|
|
"Ah! then, you never really love, Mr. Gray," answered the duchess with
|
|
mock sadness.
|
|
|
|
"My dear Gladys!" cried Lord Henry. "How can you say that? Romance
|
|
lives by repetition, and repetition converts an appetite into an art.
|
|
Besides, each time that one loves is the only time one has ever loved.
|
|
Difference of object does not alter singleness of passion. It merely
|
|
intensifies it. We can have in life but one great experience at best,
|
|
and the secret of life is to reproduce that experience as often as
|
|
possible."
|
|
|
|
"Even when one has been wounded by it, Harry?" asked the duchess after
|
|
a pause.
|
|
|
|
"Especially when one has been wounded by it," answered Lord Henry.
|
|
|
|
The duchess turned and looked at Dorian Gray with a curious expression
|
|
in her eyes. "What do you say to that, Mr. Gray?" she inquired.
|
|
|
|
Dorian hesitated for a moment. Then he threw his head back and
|
|
laughed. "I always agree with Harry, Duchess."
|
|
|
|
"Even when he is wrong?"
|
|
|
|
"Harry is never wrong, Duchess."
|
|
|
|
"And does his philosophy make you happy?"
|
|
|
|
"I have never searched for happiness. Who wants happiness? I have
|
|
searched for pleasure."
|
|
|
|
"And found it, Mr. Gray?"
|
|
|
|
"Often. Too often."
|
|
|
|
The duchess sighed. "I am searching for peace," she said, "and if I
|
|
don't go and dress, I shall have none this evening."
|
|
|
|
"Let me get you some orchids, Duchess," cried Dorian, starting to his
|
|
feet and walking down the conservatory.
|
|
|
|
"You are flirting disgracefully with him," said Lord Henry to his
|
|
cousin. "You had better take care. He is very fascinating."
|
|
|
|
"If he were not, there would be no battle."
|
|
|
|
"Greek meets Greek, then?"
|
|
|
|
"I am on the side of the Trojans. They fought for a woman."
|
|
|
|
"They were defeated."
|
|
|
|
"There are worse things than capture," she answered.
|
|
|
|
"You gallop with a loose rein."
|
|
|
|
"Pace gives life," was the _riposte_.
|
|
|
|
"I shall write it in my diary to-night."
|
|
|
|
"What?"
|
|
|
|
"That a burnt child loves the fire."
|
|
|
|
"I am not even singed. My wings are untouched."
|
|
|
|
"You use them for everything, except flight."
|
|
|
|
"Courage has passed from men to women. It is a new experience for us."
|
|
|
|
"You have a rival."
|
|
|
|
"Who?"
|
|
|
|
He laughed. "Lady Narborough," he whispered. "She perfectly adores
|
|
him."
|
|
|
|
"You fill me with apprehension. The appeal to antiquity is fatal to us
|
|
who are romanticists."
|
|
|
|
"Romanticists! You have all the methods of science."
|
|
|
|
"Men have educated us."
|
|
|
|
"But not explained you."
|
|
|
|
"Describe us as a sex," was her challenge.
|
|
|
|
"Sphinxes without secrets."
|
|
|
|
She looked at him, smiling. "How long Mr. Gray is!" she said. "Let us
|
|
go and help him. I have not yet told him the colour of my frock."
|
|
|
|
"Ah! you must suit your frock to his flowers, Gladys."
|
|
|
|
"That would be a premature surrender."
|
|
|
|
"Romantic art begins with its climax."
|
|
|
|
"I must keep an opportunity for retreat."
|
|
|
|
"In the Parthian manner?"
|
|
|
|
"They found safety in the desert. I could not do that."
|
|
|
|
"Women are not always allowed a choice," he answered, but hardly had he
|
|
finished the sentence before from the far end of the conservatory came
|
|
a stifled groan, followed by the dull sound of a heavy fall. Everybody
|
|
started up. The duchess stood motionless in horror. And with fear in
|
|
his eyes, Lord Henry rushed through the flapping palms to find Dorian
|
|
Gray lying face downwards on the tiled floor in a deathlike swoon.
|
|
|
|
He was carried at once into the blue drawing-room and laid upon one of
|
|
the sofas. After a short time, he came to himself and looked round
|
|
with a dazed expression.
|
|
|
|
"What has happened?" he asked. "Oh! I remember. Am I safe here,
|
|
Harry?" He began to tremble.
|
|
|
|
"My dear Dorian," answered Lord Henry, "you merely fainted. That was
|
|
all. You must have overtired yourself. You had better not come down
|
|
to dinner. I will take your place."
|
|
|
|
"No, I will come down," he said, struggling to his feet. "I would
|
|
rather come down. I must not be alone."
|
|
|
|
He went to his room and dressed. There was a wild recklessness of
|
|
gaiety in his manner as he sat at table, but now and then a thrill of
|
|
terror ran through him when he remembered that, pressed against the
|
|
window of the conservatory, like a white handkerchief, he had seen the
|
|
face of James Vane watching him.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 18
|
|
|
|
The next day he did not leave the house, and, indeed, spent most of the
|
|
time in his own room, sick with a wild terror of dying, and yet
|
|
indifferent to life itself. The consciousness of being hunted, snared,
|
|
tracked down, had begun to dominate him. If the tapestry did but
|
|
tremble in the wind, he shook. The dead leaves that were blown against
|
|
the leaded panes seemed to him like his own wasted resolutions and wild
|
|
regrets. When he closed his eyes, he saw again the sailor's face
|
|
peering through the mist-stained glass, and horror seemed once more to
|
|
lay its hand upon his heart.
|
|
|
|
But perhaps it had been only his fancy that had called vengeance out of
|
|
the night and set the hideous shapes of punishment before him. Actual
|
|
life was chaos, but there was something terribly logical in the
|
|
imagination. It was the imagination that set remorse to dog the feet
|
|
of sin. It was the imagination that made each crime bear its misshapen
|
|
brood. In the common world of fact the wicked were not punished, nor
|
|
the good rewarded. Success was given to the strong, failure thrust
|
|
upon the weak. That was all. Besides, had any stranger been prowling
|
|
round the house, he would have been seen by the servants or the
|
|
keepers. Had any foot-marks been found on the flower-beds, the
|
|
gardeners would have reported it. Yes, it had been merely fancy.
|
|
Sibyl Vane's brother had not come back to kill him. He had sailed away
|
|
in his ship to founder in some winter sea. From him, at any rate, he
|
|
was safe. Why, the man did not know who he was, could not know who he
|
|
was. The mask of youth had saved him.
|
|
|
|
And yet if it had been merely an illusion, how terrible it was to think
|
|
that conscience could raise such fearful phantoms, and give them
|
|
visible form, and make them move before one! What sort of life would
|
|
his be if, day and night, shadows of his crime were to peer at him from
|
|
silent corners, to mock him from secret places, to whisper in his ear
|
|
as he sat at the feast, to wake him with icy fingers as he lay asleep!
|
|
As the thought crept through his brain, he grew pale with terror, and
|
|
the air seemed to him to have become suddenly colder. Oh! in what a
|
|
wild hour of madness he had killed his friend! How ghastly the mere
|
|
memory of the scene! He saw it all again. Each hideous detail came
|
|
back to him with added horror. Out of the black cave of time, terrible
|
|
and swathed in scarlet, rose the image of his sin. When Lord Henry
|
|
came in at six o'clock, he found him crying as one whose heart will
|
|
break.
|
|
|
|
It was not till the third day that he ventured to go out. There was
|
|
something in the clear, pine-scented air of that winter morning that
|
|
seemed to bring him back his joyousness and his ardour for life. But
|
|
it was not merely the physical conditions of environment that had
|
|
caused the change. His own nature had revolted against the excess of
|
|
anguish that had sought to maim and mar the perfection of its calm.
|
|
With subtle and finely wrought temperaments it is always so. Their
|
|
strong passions must either bruise or bend. They either slay the man,
|
|
or themselves die. Shallow sorrows and shallow loves live on. The
|
|
loves and sorrows that are great are destroyed by their own plenitude.
|
|
Besides, he had convinced himself that he had been the victim of a
|
|
terror-stricken imagination, and looked back now on his fears with
|
|
something of pity and not a little of contempt.
|
|
|
|
After breakfast, he walked with the duchess for an hour in the garden
|
|
and then drove across the park to join the shooting-party. The crisp
|
|
frost lay like salt upon the grass. The sky was an inverted cup of
|
|
blue metal. A thin film of ice bordered the flat, reed-grown lake.
|
|
|
|
At the corner of the pine-wood he caught sight of Sir Geoffrey
|
|
Clouston, the duchess's brother, jerking two spent cartridges out of
|
|
his gun. He jumped from the cart, and having told the groom to take
|
|
the mare home, made his way towards his guest through the withered
|
|
bracken and rough undergrowth.
|
|
|
|
"Have you had good sport, Geoffrey?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
"Not very good, Dorian. I think most of the birds have gone to the
|
|
open. I dare say it will be better after lunch, when we get to new
|
|
ground."
|
|
|
|
Dorian strolled along by his side. The keen aromatic air, the brown
|
|
and red lights that glimmered in the wood, the hoarse cries of the
|
|
beaters ringing out from time to time, and the sharp snaps of the guns
|
|
that followed, fascinated him and filled him with a sense of delightful
|
|
freedom. He was dominated by the carelessness of happiness, by the
|
|
high indifference of joy.
|
|
|
|
Suddenly from a lumpy tussock of old grass some twenty yards in front
|
|
of them, with black-tipped ears erect and long hinder limbs throwing it
|
|
forward, started a hare. It bolted for a thicket of alders. Sir
|
|
Geoffrey put his gun to his shoulder, but there was something in the
|
|
animal's grace of movement that strangely charmed Dorian Gray, and he
|
|
cried out at once, "Don't shoot it, Geoffrey. Let it live."
|
|
|
|
"What nonsense, Dorian!" laughed his companion, and as the hare bounded
|
|
into the thicket, he fired. There were two cries heard, the cry of a
|
|
hare in pain, which is dreadful, the cry of a man in agony, which is
|
|
worse.
|
|
|
|
"Good heavens! I have hit a beater!" exclaimed Sir Geoffrey. "What an
|
|
ass the man was to get in front of the guns! Stop shooting there!" he
|
|
called out at the top of his voice. "A man is hurt."
|
|
|
|
The head-keeper came running up with a stick in his hand.
|
|
|
|
"Where, sir? Where is he?" he shouted. At the same time, the firing
|
|
ceased along the line.
|
|
|
|
"Here," answered Sir Geoffrey angrily, hurrying towards the thicket.
|
|
"Why on earth don't you keep your men back? Spoiled my shooting for
|
|
the day."
|
|
|
|
Dorian watched them as they plunged into the alder-clump, brushing the
|
|
lithe swinging branches aside. In a few moments they emerged, dragging
|
|
a body after them into the sunlight. He turned away in horror. It
|
|
seemed to him that misfortune followed wherever he went. He heard Sir
|
|
Geoffrey ask if the man was really dead, and the affirmative answer of
|
|
the keeper. The wood seemed to him to have become suddenly alive with
|
|
faces. There was the trampling of myriad feet and the low buzz of
|
|
voices. A great copper-breasted pheasant came beating through the
|
|
boughs overhead.
|
|
|
|
After a few moments--that were to him, in his perturbed state, like
|
|
endless hours of pain--he felt a hand laid on his shoulder. He started
|
|
and looked round.
|
|
|
|
"Dorian," said Lord Henry, "I had better tell them that the shooting is
|
|
stopped for to-day. It would not look well to go on."
|
|
|
|
"I wish it were stopped for ever, Harry," he answered bitterly. "The
|
|
whole thing is hideous and cruel. Is the man ...?"
|
|
|
|
He could not finish the sentence.
|
|
|
|
"I am afraid so," rejoined Lord Henry. "He got the whole charge of
|
|
shot in his chest. He must have died almost instantaneously. Come;
|
|
let us go home."
|
|
|
|
They walked side by side in the direction of the avenue for nearly
|
|
fifty yards without speaking. Then Dorian looked at Lord Henry and
|
|
said, with a heavy sigh, "It is a bad omen, Harry, a very bad omen."
|
|
|
|
"What is?" asked Lord Henry. "Oh! this accident, I suppose. My dear
|
|
fellow, it can't be helped. It was the man's own fault. Why did he
|
|
get in front of the guns? Besides, it is nothing to us. It is rather
|
|
awkward for Geoffrey, of course. It does not do to pepper beaters. It
|
|
makes people think that one is a wild shot. And Geoffrey is not; he
|
|
shoots very straight. But there is no use talking about the matter."
|
|
|
|
Dorian shook his head. "It is a bad omen, Harry. I feel as if
|
|
something horrible were going to happen to some of us. To myself,
|
|
perhaps," he added, passing his hand over his eyes, with a gesture of
|
|
pain.
|
|
|
|
The elder man laughed. "The only horrible thing in the world is _ennui_,
|
|
Dorian. That is the one sin for which there is no forgiveness. But we
|
|
are not likely to suffer from it unless these fellows keep chattering
|
|
about this thing at dinner. I must tell them that the subject is to be
|
|
tabooed. As for omens, there is no such thing as an omen. Destiny
|
|
does not send us heralds. She is too wise or too cruel for that.
|
|
Besides, what on earth could happen to you, Dorian? You have
|
|
everything in the world that a man can want. There is no one who would
|
|
not be delighted to change places with you."
|
|
|
|
"There is no one with whom I would not change places, Harry. Don't
|
|
laugh like that. I am telling you the truth. The wretched peasant who
|
|
has just died is better off than I am. I have no terror of death. It
|
|
is the coming of death that terrifies me. Its monstrous wings seem to
|
|
wheel in the leaden air around me. Good heavens! don't you see a man
|
|
moving behind the trees there, watching me, waiting for me?"
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry looked in the direction in which the trembling gloved hand
|
|
was pointing. "Yes," he said, smiling, "I see the gardener waiting for
|
|
you. I suppose he wants to ask you what flowers you wish to have on
|
|
the table to-night. How absurdly nervous you are, my dear fellow! You
|
|
must come and see my doctor, when we get back to town."
|
|
|
|
Dorian heaved a sigh of relief as he saw the gardener approaching. The
|
|
man touched his hat, glanced for a moment at Lord Henry in a hesitating
|
|
manner, and then produced a letter, which he handed to his master.
|
|
"Her Grace told me to wait for an answer," he murmured.
|
|
|
|
Dorian put the letter into his pocket. "Tell her Grace that I am
|
|
coming in," he said, coldly. The man turned round and went rapidly in
|
|
the direction of the house.
|
|
|
|
"How fond women are of doing dangerous things!" laughed Lord Henry.
|
|
"It is one of the qualities in them that I admire most. A woman will
|
|
flirt with anybody in the world as long as other people are looking on."
|
|
|
|
"How fond you are of saying dangerous things, Harry! In the present
|
|
instance, you are quite astray. I like the duchess very much, but I
|
|
don't love her."
|
|
|
|
"And the duchess loves you very much, but she likes you less, so you
|
|
are excellently matched."
|
|
|
|
"You are talking scandal, Harry, and there is never any basis for
|
|
scandal."
|
|
|
|
"The basis of every scandal is an immoral certainty," said Lord Henry,
|
|
lighting a cigarette.
|
|
|
|
"You would sacrifice anybody, Harry, for the sake of an epigram."
|
|
|
|
"The world goes to the altar of its own accord," was the answer.
|
|
|
|
"I wish I could love," cried Dorian Gray with a deep note of pathos in
|
|
his voice. "But I seem to have lost the passion and forgotten the
|
|
desire. I am too much concentrated on myself. My own personality has
|
|
become a burden to me. I want to escape, to go away, to forget. It
|
|
was silly of me to come down here at all. I think I shall send a wire
|
|
to Harvey to have the yacht got ready. On a yacht one is safe."
|
|
|
|
"Safe from what, Dorian? You are in some trouble. Why not tell me
|
|
what it is? You know I would help you."
|
|
|
|
"I can't tell you, Harry," he answered sadly. "And I dare say it is
|
|
only a fancy of mine. This unfortunate accident has upset me. I have
|
|
a horrible presentiment that something of the kind may happen to me."
|
|
|
|
"What nonsense!"
|
|
|
|
"I hope it is, but I can't help feeling it. Ah! here is the duchess,
|
|
looking like Artemis in a tailor-made gown. You see we have come back,
|
|
Duchess."
|
|
|
|
"I have heard all about it, Mr. Gray," she answered. "Poor Geoffrey is
|
|
terribly upset. And it seems that you asked him not to shoot the hare.
|
|
How curious!"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, it was very curious. I don't know what made me say it. Some
|
|
whim, I suppose. It looked the loveliest of little live things. But I
|
|
am sorry they told you about the man. It is a hideous subject."
|
|
|
|
"It is an annoying subject," broke in Lord Henry. "It has no
|
|
psychological value at all. Now if Geoffrey had done the thing on
|
|
purpose, how interesting he would be! I should like to know some one
|
|
who had committed a real murder."
|
|
|
|
"How horrid of you, Harry!" cried the duchess. "Isn't it, Mr. Gray?
|
|
Harry, Mr. Gray is ill again. He is going to faint."
|
|
|
|
Dorian drew himself up with an effort and smiled. "It is nothing,
|
|
Duchess," he murmured; "my nerves are dreadfully out of order. That is
|
|
all. I am afraid I walked too far this morning. I didn't hear what
|
|
Harry said. Was it very bad? You must tell me some other time. I
|
|
think I must go and lie down. You will excuse me, won't you?"
|
|
|
|
They had reached the great flight of steps that led from the
|
|
conservatory on to the terrace. As the glass door closed behind
|
|
Dorian, Lord Henry turned and looked at the duchess with his slumberous
|
|
eyes. "Are you very much in love with him?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
She did not answer for some time, but stood gazing at the landscape.
|
|
"I wish I knew," she said at last.
|
|
|
|
He shook his head. "Knowledge would be fatal. It is the uncertainty
|
|
that charms one. A mist makes things wonderful."
|
|
|
|
"One may lose one's way."
|
|
|
|
"All ways end at the same point, my dear Gladys."
|
|
|
|
"What is that?"
|
|
|
|
"Disillusion."
|
|
|
|
"It was my _debut_ in life," she sighed.
|
|
|
|
"It came to you crowned."
|
|
|
|
"I am tired of strawberry leaves."
|
|
|
|
"They become you."
|
|
|
|
"Only in public."
|
|
|
|
"You would miss them," said Lord Henry.
|
|
|
|
"I will not part with a petal."
|
|
|
|
"Monmouth has ears."
|
|
|
|
"Old age is dull of hearing."
|
|
|
|
"Has he never been jealous?"
|
|
|
|
"I wish he had been."
|
|
|
|
He glanced about as if in search of something. "What are you looking
|
|
for?" she inquired.
|
|
|
|
"The button from your foil," he answered. "You have dropped it."
|
|
|
|
She laughed. "I have still the mask."
|
|
|
|
"It makes your eyes lovelier," was his reply.
|
|
|
|
She laughed again. Her teeth showed like white seeds in a scarlet
|
|
fruit.
|
|
|
|
Upstairs, in his own room, Dorian Gray was lying on a sofa, with terror
|
|
in every tingling fibre of his body. Life had suddenly become too
|
|
hideous a burden for him to bear. The dreadful death of the unlucky
|
|
beater, shot in the thicket like a wild animal, had seemed to him to
|
|
pre-figure death for himself also. He had nearly swooned at what Lord
|
|
Henry had said in a chance mood of cynical jesting.
|
|
|
|
At five o'clock he rang his bell for his servant and gave him orders to
|
|
pack his things for the night-express to town, and to have the brougham
|
|
at the door by eight-thirty. He was determined not to sleep another
|
|
night at Selby Royal. It was an ill-omened place. Death walked there
|
|
in the sunlight. The grass of the forest had been spotted with blood.
|
|
|
|
Then he wrote a note to Lord Henry, telling him that he was going up to
|
|
town to consult his doctor and asking him to entertain his guests in
|
|
his absence. As he was putting it into the envelope, a knock came to
|
|
the door, and his valet informed him that the head-keeper wished to see
|
|
him. He frowned and bit his lip. "Send him in," he muttered, after
|
|
some moments' hesitation.
|
|
|
|
As soon as the man entered, Dorian pulled his chequebook out of a
|
|
drawer and spread it out before him.
|
|
|
|
"I suppose you have come about the unfortunate accident of this
|
|
morning, Thornton?" he said, taking up a pen.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, sir," answered the gamekeeper.
|
|
|
|
"Was the poor fellow married? Had he any people dependent on him?"
|
|
asked Dorian, looking bored. "If so, I should not like them to be left
|
|
in want, and will send them any sum of money you may think necessary."
|
|
|
|
"We don't know who he is, sir. That is what I took the liberty of
|
|
coming to you about."
|
|
|
|
"Don't know who he is?" said Dorian, listlessly. "What do you mean?
|
|
Wasn't he one of your men?"
|
|
|
|
"No, sir. Never saw him before. Seems like a sailor, sir."
|
|
|
|
The pen dropped from Dorian Gray's hand, and he felt as if his heart
|
|
had suddenly stopped beating. "A sailor?" he cried out. "Did you say
|
|
a sailor?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, sir. He looks as if he had been a sort of sailor; tattooed on
|
|
both arms, and that kind of thing."
|
|
|
|
"Was there anything found on him?" said Dorian, leaning forward and
|
|
looking at the man with startled eyes. "Anything that would tell his
|
|
name?"
|
|
|
|
"Some money, sir--not much, and a six-shooter. There was no name of any
|
|
kind. A decent-looking man, sir, but rough-like. A sort of sailor we
|
|
think."
|
|
|
|
Dorian started to his feet. A terrible hope fluttered past him. He
|
|
clutched at it madly. "Where is the body?" he exclaimed. "Quick! I
|
|
must see it at once."
|
|
|
|
"It is in an empty stable in the Home Farm, sir. The folk don't like
|
|
to have that sort of thing in their houses. They say a corpse brings
|
|
bad luck."
|
|
|
|
"The Home Farm! Go there at once and meet me. Tell one of the grooms
|
|
to bring my horse round. No. Never mind. I'll go to the stables
|
|
myself. It will save time."
|
|
|
|
In less than a quarter of an hour, Dorian Gray was galloping down the
|
|
long avenue as hard as he could go. The trees seemed to sweep past him
|
|
in spectral procession, and wild shadows to fling themselves across his
|
|
path. Once the mare swerved at a white gate-post and nearly threw him.
|
|
He lashed her across the neck with his crop. She cleft the dusky air
|
|
like an arrow. The stones flew from her hoofs.
|
|
|
|
At last he reached the Home Farm. Two men were loitering in the yard.
|
|
He leaped from the saddle and threw the reins to one of them. In the
|
|
farthest stable a light was glimmering. Something seemed to tell him
|
|
that the body was there, and he hurried to the door and put his hand
|
|
upon the latch.
|
|
|
|
There he paused for a moment, feeling that he was on the brink of a
|
|
discovery that would either make or mar his life. Then he thrust the
|
|
door open and entered.
|
|
|
|
On a heap of sacking in the far corner was lying the dead body of a man
|
|
dressed in a coarse shirt and a pair of blue trousers. A spotted
|
|
handkerchief had been placed over the face. A coarse candle, stuck in
|
|
a bottle, sputtered beside it.
|
|
|
|
Dorian Gray shuddered. He felt that his could not be the hand to take
|
|
the handkerchief away, and called out to one of the farm-servants to
|
|
come to him.
|
|
|
|
"Take that thing off the face. I wish to see it," he said, clutching
|
|
at the door-post for support.
|
|
|
|
When the farm-servant had done so, he stepped forward. A cry of joy
|
|
broke from his lips. The man who had been shot in the thicket was
|
|
James Vane.
|
|
|
|
He stood there for some minutes looking at the dead body. As he rode
|
|
home, his eyes were full of tears, for he knew he was safe.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 19
|
|
|
|
"There is no use your telling me that you are going to be good," cried
|
|
Lord Henry, dipping his white fingers into a red copper bowl filled
|
|
with rose-water. "You are quite perfect. Pray, don't change."
|
|
|
|
Dorian Gray shook his head. "No, Harry, I have done too many dreadful
|
|
things in my life. I am not going to do any more. I began my good
|
|
actions yesterday."
|
|
|
|
"Where were you yesterday?"
|
|
|
|
"In the country, Harry. I was staying at a little inn by myself."
|
|
|
|
"My dear boy," said Lord Henry, smiling, "anybody can be good in the
|
|
country. There are no temptations there. That is the reason why
|
|
people who live out of town are so absolutely uncivilized.
|
|
Civilization is not by any means an easy thing to attain to. There are
|
|
only two ways by which man can reach it. One is by being cultured, the
|
|
other by being corrupt. Country people have no opportunity of being
|
|
either, so they stagnate."
|
|
|
|
"Culture and corruption," echoed Dorian. "I have known something of
|
|
both. It seems terrible to me now that they should ever be found
|
|
together. For I have a new ideal, Harry. I am going to alter. I
|
|
think I have altered."
|
|
|
|
"You have not yet told me what your good action was. Or did you say
|
|
you had done more than one?" asked his companion as he spilled into his
|
|
plate a little crimson pyramid of seeded strawberries and, through a
|
|
perforated, shell-shaped spoon, snowed white sugar upon them.
|
|
|
|
"I can tell you, Harry. It is not a story I could tell to any one
|
|
else. I spared somebody. It sounds vain, but you understand what I
|
|
mean. She was quite beautiful and wonderfully like Sibyl Vane. I
|
|
think it was that which first attracted me to her. You remember Sibyl,
|
|
don't you? How long ago that seems! Well, Hetty was not one of our
|
|
own class, of course. She was simply a girl in a village. But I
|
|
really loved her. I am quite sure that I loved her. All during this
|
|
wonderful May that we have been having, I used to run down and see her
|
|
two or three times a week. Yesterday she met me in a little orchard.
|
|
The apple-blossoms kept tumbling down on her hair, and she was
|
|
laughing. We were to have gone away together this morning at dawn.
|
|
Suddenly I determined to leave her as flowerlike as I had found her."
|
|
|
|
"I should think the novelty of the emotion must have given you a thrill
|
|
of real pleasure, Dorian," interrupted Lord Henry. "But I can finish
|
|
your idyll for you. You gave her good advice and broke her heart.
|
|
That was the beginning of your reformation."
|
|
|
|
"Harry, you are horrible! You mustn't say these dreadful things.
|
|
Hetty's heart is not broken. Of course, she cried and all that. But
|
|
there is no disgrace upon her. She can live, like Perdita, in her
|
|
garden of mint and marigold."
|
|
|
|
"And weep over a faithless Florizel," said Lord Henry, laughing, as he
|
|
leaned back in his chair. "My dear Dorian, you have the most curiously
|
|
boyish moods. Do you think this girl will ever be really content now
|
|
with any one of her own rank? I suppose she will be married some day
|
|
to a rough carter or a grinning ploughman. Well, the fact of having
|
|
met you, and loved you, will teach her to despise her husband, and she
|
|
will be wretched. From a moral point of view, I cannot say that I
|
|
think much of your great renunciation. Even as a beginning, it is
|
|
poor. Besides, how do you know that Hetty isn't floating at the
|
|
present moment in some starlit mill-pond, with lovely water-lilies
|
|
round her, like Ophelia?"
|
|
|
|
"I can't bear this, Harry! You mock at everything, and then suggest
|
|
the most serious tragedies. I am sorry I told you now. I don't care
|
|
what you say to me. I know I was right in acting as I did. Poor
|
|
Hetty! As I rode past the farm this morning, I saw her white face at
|
|
the window, like a spray of jasmine. Don't let us talk about it any
|
|
more, and don't try to persuade me that the first good action I have
|
|
done for years, the first little bit of self-sacrifice I have ever
|
|
known, is really a sort of sin. I want to be better. I am going to be
|
|
better. Tell me something about yourself. What is going on in town?
|
|
I have not been to the club for days."
|
|
|
|
"The people are still discussing poor Basil's disappearance."
|
|
|
|
"I should have thought they had got tired of that by this time," said
|
|
Dorian, pouring himself out some wine and frowning slightly.
|
|
|
|
"My dear boy, they have only been talking about it for six weeks, and
|
|
the British public are really not equal to the mental strain of having
|
|
more than one topic every three months. They have been very fortunate
|
|
lately, however. They have had my own divorce-case and Alan Campbell's
|
|
suicide. Now they have got the mysterious disappearance of an artist.
|
|
Scotland Yard still insists that the man in the grey ulster who left
|
|
for Paris by the midnight train on the ninth of November was poor
|
|
Basil, and the French police declare that Basil never arrived in Paris
|
|
at all. I suppose in about a fortnight we shall be told that he has
|
|
been seen in San Francisco. It is an odd thing, but every one who
|
|
disappears is said to be seen at San Francisco. It must be a
|
|
delightful city, and possess all the attractions of the next world."
|
|
|
|
"What do you think has happened to Basil?" asked Dorian, holding up his
|
|
Burgundy against the light and wondering how it was that he could
|
|
discuss the matter so calmly.
|
|
|
|
"I have not the slightest idea. If Basil chooses to hide himself, it
|
|
is no business of mine. If he is dead, I don't want to think about
|
|
him. Death is the only thing that ever terrifies me. I hate it."
|
|
|
|
"Why?" said the younger man wearily.
|
|
|
|
"Because," said Lord Henry, passing beneath his nostrils the gilt
|
|
trellis of an open vinaigrette box, "one can survive everything
|
|
nowadays except that. Death and vulgarity are the only two facts in
|
|
the nineteenth century that one cannot explain away. Let us have our
|
|
coffee in the music-room, Dorian. You must play Chopin to me. The man
|
|
with whom my wife ran away played Chopin exquisitely. Poor Victoria!
|
|
I was very fond of her. The house is rather lonely without her. Of
|
|
course, married life is merely a habit, a bad habit. But then one
|
|
regrets the loss even of one's worst habits. Perhaps one regrets them
|
|
the most. They are such an essential part of one's personality."
|
|
|
|
Dorian said nothing, but rose from the table, and passing into the next
|
|
room, sat down to the piano and let his fingers stray across the white
|
|
and black ivory of the keys. After the coffee had been brought in, he
|
|
stopped, and looking over at Lord Henry, said, "Harry, did it ever
|
|
occur to you that Basil was murdered?"
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry yawned. "Basil was very popular, and always wore a
|
|
Waterbury watch. Why should he have been murdered? He was not clever
|
|
enough to have enemies. Of course, he had a wonderful genius for
|
|
painting. But a man can paint like Velasquez and yet be as dull as
|
|
possible. Basil was really rather dull. He only interested me once,
|
|
and that was when he told me, years ago, that he had a wild adoration
|
|
for you and that you were the dominant motive of his art."
|
|
|
|
"I was very fond of Basil," said Dorian with a note of sadness in his
|
|
voice. "But don't people say that he was murdered?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, some of the papers do. It does not seem to me to be at all
|
|
probable. I know there are dreadful places in Paris, but Basil was not
|
|
the sort of man to have gone to them. He had no curiosity. It was his
|
|
chief defect."
|
|
|
|
"What would you say, Harry, if I told you that I had murdered Basil?"
|
|
said the younger man. He watched him intently after he had spoken.
|
|
|
|
"I would say, my dear fellow, that you were posing for a character that
|
|
doesn't suit you. All crime is vulgar, just as all vulgarity is crime.
|
|
It is not in you, Dorian, to commit a murder. I am sorry if I hurt
|
|
your vanity by saying so, but I assure you it is true. Crime belongs
|
|
exclusively to the lower orders. I don't blame them in the smallest
|
|
degree. I should fancy that crime was to them what art is to us,
|
|
simply a method of procuring extraordinary sensations."
|
|
|
|
"A method of procuring sensations? Do you think, then, that a man who
|
|
has once committed a murder could possibly do the same crime again?
|
|
Don't tell me that."
|
|
|
|
"Oh! anything becomes a pleasure if one does it too often," cried Lord
|
|
Henry, laughing. "That is one of the most important secrets of life.
|
|
I should fancy, however, that murder is always a mistake. One should
|
|
never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner. But let us
|
|
pass from poor Basil. I wish I could believe that he had come to such
|
|
a really romantic end as you suggest, but I can't. I dare say he fell
|
|
into the Seine off an omnibus and that the conductor hushed up the
|
|
scandal. Yes: I should fancy that was his end. I see him lying now
|
|
on his back under those dull-green waters, with the heavy barges
|
|
floating over him and long weeds catching in his hair. Do you know, I
|
|
don't think he would have done much more good work. During the last
|
|
ten years his painting had gone off very much."
|
|
|
|
Dorian heaved a sigh, and Lord Henry strolled across the room and began
|
|
to stroke the head of a curious Java parrot, a large, grey-plumaged
|
|
bird with pink crest and tail, that was balancing itself upon a bamboo
|
|
perch. As his pointed fingers touched it, it dropped the white scurf
|
|
of crinkled lids over black, glasslike eyes and began to sway backwards
|
|
and forwards.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," he continued, turning round and taking his handkerchief out of
|
|
his pocket; "his painting had quite gone off. It seemed to me to have
|
|
lost something. It had lost an ideal. When you and he ceased to be
|
|
great friends, he ceased to be a great artist. What was it separated
|
|
you? I suppose he bored you. If so, he never forgave you. It's a
|
|
habit bores have. By the way, what has become of that wonderful
|
|
portrait he did of you? I don't think I have ever seen it since he
|
|
finished it. Oh! I remember your telling me years ago that you had
|
|
sent it down to Selby, and that it had got mislaid or stolen on the
|
|
way. You never got it back? What a pity! it was really a
|
|
masterpiece. I remember I wanted to buy it. I wish I had now. It
|
|
belonged to Basil's best period. Since then, his work was that curious
|
|
mixture of bad painting and good intentions that always entitles a man
|
|
to be called a representative British artist. Did you advertise for
|
|
it? You should."
|
|
|
|
"I forget," said Dorian. "I suppose I did. But I never really liked
|
|
it. I am sorry I sat for it. The memory of the thing is hateful to
|
|
me. Why do you talk of it? It used to remind me of those curious
|
|
lines in some play--Hamlet, I think--how do they run?--
|
|
|
|
"Like the painting of a sorrow,
|
|
A face without a heart."
|
|
|
|
Yes: that is what it was like."
|
|
|
|
Lord Henry laughed. "If a man treats life artistically, his brain is
|
|
his heart," he answered, sinking into an arm-chair.
|
|
|
|
Dorian Gray shook his head and struck some soft chords on the piano.
|
|
"'Like the painting of a sorrow,'" he repeated, "'a face without a
|
|
heart.'"
|
|
|
|
The elder man lay back and looked at him with half-closed eyes. "By
|
|
the way, Dorian," he said after a pause, "'what does it profit a man if
|
|
he gain the whole world and lose--how does the quotation run?--his own
|
|
soul'?"
|
|
|
|
The music jarred, and Dorian Gray started and stared at his friend.
|
|
"Why do you ask me that, Harry?"
|
|
|
|
"My dear fellow," said Lord Henry, elevating his eyebrows in surprise,
|
|
"I asked you because I thought you might be able to give me an answer.
|
|
That is all. I was going through the park last Sunday, and close by
|
|
the Marble Arch there stood a little crowd of shabby-looking people
|
|
listening to some vulgar street-preacher. As I passed by, I heard the
|
|
man yelling out that question to his audience. It struck me as being
|
|
rather dramatic. London is very rich in curious effects of that kind.
|
|
A wet Sunday, an uncouth Christian in a mackintosh, a ring of sickly
|
|
white faces under a broken roof of dripping umbrellas, and a wonderful
|
|
phrase flung into the air by shrill hysterical lips--it was really very
|
|
good in its way, quite a suggestion. I thought of telling the prophet
|
|
that art had a soul, but that man had not. I am afraid, however, he
|
|
would not have understood me."
|
|
|
|
"Don't, Harry. The soul is a terrible reality. It can be bought, and
|
|
sold, and bartered away. It can be poisoned, or made perfect. There
|
|
is a soul in each one of us. I know it."
|
|
|
|
"Do you feel quite sure of that, Dorian?"
|
|
|
|
"Quite sure."
|
|
|
|
"Ah! then it must be an illusion. The things one feels absolutely
|
|
certain about are never true. That is the fatality of faith, and the
|
|
lesson of romance. How grave you are! Don't be so serious. What have
|
|
you or I to do with the superstitions of our age? No: we have given
|
|
up our belief in the soul. Play me something. Play me a nocturne,
|
|
Dorian, and, as you play, tell me, in a low voice, how you have kept
|
|
your youth. You must have some secret. I am only ten years older than
|
|
you are, and I am wrinkled, and worn, and yellow. You are really
|
|
wonderful, Dorian. You have never looked more charming than you do
|
|
to-night. You remind me of the day I saw you first. You were rather
|
|
cheeky, very shy, and absolutely extraordinary. You have changed, of
|
|
course, but not in appearance. I wish you would tell me your secret.
|
|
To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take
|
|
exercise, get up early, or be respectable. Youth! There is nothing
|
|
like it. It's absurd to talk of the ignorance of youth. The only
|
|
people to whose opinions I listen now with any respect are people much
|
|
younger than myself. They seem in front of me. Life has revealed to
|
|
them her latest wonder. As for the aged, I always contradict the aged.
|
|
I do it on principle. If you ask them their opinion on something that
|
|
happened yesterday, they solemnly give you the opinions current in
|
|
1820, when people wore high stocks, believed in everything, and knew
|
|
absolutely nothing. How lovely that thing you are playing is! I
|
|
wonder, did Chopin write it at Majorca, with the sea weeping round the
|
|
villa and the salt spray dashing against the panes? It is marvellously
|
|
romantic. What a blessing it is that there is one art left to us that
|
|
is not imitative! Don't stop. I want music to-night. It seems to me
|
|
that you are the young Apollo and that I am Marsyas listening to you.
|
|
I have sorrows, Dorian, of my own, that even you know nothing of. The
|
|
tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young. I am
|
|
amazed sometimes at my own sincerity. Ah, Dorian, how happy you are!
|
|
What an exquisite life you have had! You have drunk deeply of
|
|
everything. You have crushed the grapes against your palate. Nothing
|
|
has been hidden from you. And it has all been to you no more than the
|
|
sound of music. It has not marred you. You are still the same."
|
|
|
|
"I am not the same, Harry."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, you are the same. I wonder what the rest of your life will be.
|
|
Don't spoil it by renunciations. At present you are a perfect type.
|
|
Don't make yourself incomplete. You are quite flawless now. You need
|
|
not shake your head: you know you are. Besides, Dorian, don't deceive
|
|
yourself. Life is not governed by will or intention. Life is a
|
|
question of nerves, and fibres, and slowly built-up cells in which
|
|
thought hides itself and passion has its dreams. You may fancy
|
|
yourself safe and think yourself strong. But a chance tone of colour
|
|
in a room or a morning sky, a particular perfume that you had once
|
|
loved and that brings subtle memories with it, a line from a forgotten
|
|
poem that you had come across again, a cadence from a piece of music
|
|
that you had ceased to play--I tell you, Dorian, that it is on things
|
|
like these that our lives depend. Browning writes about that
|
|
somewhere; but our own senses will imagine them for us. There are
|
|
moments when the odour of _lilas blanc_ passes suddenly across me, and I
|
|
have to live the strangest month of my life over again. I wish I could
|
|
change places with you, Dorian. The world has cried out against us
|
|
both, but it has always worshipped you. It always will worship you.
|
|
You are the type of what the age is searching for, and what it is
|
|
afraid it has found. I am so glad that you have never done anything,
|
|
never carved a statue, or painted a picture, or produced anything
|
|
outside of yourself! Life has been your art. You have set yourself to
|
|
music. Your days are your sonnets."
|
|
|
|
Dorian rose up from the piano and passed his hand through his hair.
|
|
"Yes, life has been exquisite," he murmured, "but I am not going to
|
|
have the same life, Harry. And you must not say these extravagant
|
|
things to me. You don't know everything about me. I think that if you
|
|
did, even you would turn from me. You laugh. Don't laugh."
|
|
|
|
"Why have you stopped playing, Dorian? Go back and give me the
|
|
nocturne over again. Look at that great, honey-coloured moon that
|
|
hangs in the dusky air. She is waiting for you to charm her, and if
|
|
you play she will come closer to the earth. You won't? Let us go to
|
|
the club, then. It has been a charming evening, and we must end it
|
|
charmingly. There is some one at White's who wants immensely to know
|
|
you--young Lord Poole, Bournemouth's eldest son. He has already copied
|
|
your neckties, and has begged me to introduce him to you. He is quite
|
|
delightful and rather reminds me of you."
|
|
|
|
"I hope not," said Dorian with a sad look in his eyes. "But I am tired
|
|
to-night, Harry. I shan't go to the club. It is nearly eleven, and I
|
|
want to go to bed early."
|
|
|
|
"Do stay. You have never played so well as to-night. There was
|
|
something in your touch that was wonderful. It had more expression
|
|
than I had ever heard from it before."
|
|
|
|
"It is because I am going to be good," he answered, smiling. "I am a
|
|
little changed already."
|
|
|
|
"You cannot change to me, Dorian," said Lord Henry. "You and I will
|
|
always be friends."
|
|
|
|
"Yet you poisoned me with a book once. I should not forgive that.
|
|
Harry, promise me that you will never lend that book to any one. It
|
|
does harm."
|
|
|
|
"My dear boy, you are really beginning to moralize. You will soon be
|
|
going about like the converted, and the revivalist, warning people
|
|
against all the sins of which you have grown tired. You are much too
|
|
delightful to do that. Besides, it is no use. You and I are what we
|
|
are, and will be what we will be. As for being poisoned by a book,
|
|
there is no such thing as that. Art has no influence upon action. It
|
|
annihilates the desire to act. It is superbly sterile. The books that
|
|
the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame.
|
|
That is all. But we won't discuss literature. Come round to-morrow. I
|
|
am going to ride at eleven. We might go together, and I will take you
|
|
to lunch afterwards with Lady Branksome. She is a charming woman, and
|
|
wants to consult you about some tapestries she is thinking of buying.
|
|
Mind you come. Or shall we lunch with our little duchess? She says
|
|
she never sees you now. Perhaps you are tired of Gladys? I thought
|
|
you would be. Her clever tongue gets on one's nerves. Well, in any
|
|
case, be here at eleven."
|
|
|
|
"Must I really come, Harry?"
|
|
|
|
"Certainly. The park is quite lovely now. I don't think there have
|
|
been such lilacs since the year I met you."
|
|
|
|
"Very well. I shall be here at eleven," said Dorian. "Good night,
|
|
Harry." As he reached the door, he hesitated for a moment, as if he
|
|
had something more to say. Then he sighed and went out.
|
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|
CHAPTER 20
|
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|
|
It was a lovely night, so warm that he threw his coat over his arm and
|
|
did not even put his silk scarf round his throat. As he strolled home,
|
|
smoking his cigarette, two young men in evening dress passed him. He
|
|
heard one of them whisper to the other, "That is Dorian Gray." He
|
|
remembered how pleased he used to be when he was pointed out, or stared
|
|
at, or talked about. He was tired of hearing his own name now. Half
|
|
the charm of the little village where he had been so often lately was
|
|
that no one knew who he was. He had often told the girl whom he had
|
|
lured to love him that he was poor, and she had believed him. He had
|
|
told her once that he was wicked, and she had laughed at him and
|
|
answered that wicked people were always very old and very ugly. What a
|
|
laugh she had!--just like a thrush singing. And how pretty she had
|
|
been in her cotton dresses and her large hats! She knew nothing, but
|
|
she had everything that he had lost.
|
|
|
|
When he reached home, he found his servant waiting up for him. He sent
|
|
him to bed, and threw himself down on the sofa in the library, and
|
|
began to think over some of the things that Lord Henry had said to him.
|
|
|
|
Was it really true that one could never change? He felt a wild longing
|
|
for the unstained purity of his boyhood--his rose-white boyhood, as
|
|
Lord Henry had once called it. He knew that he had tarnished himself,
|
|
filled his mind with corruption and given horror to his fancy; that he
|
|
had been an evil influence to others, and had experienced a terrible
|
|
joy in being so; and that of the lives that had crossed his own, it had
|
|
been the fairest and the most full of promise that he had brought to
|
|
shame. But was it all irretrievable? Was there no hope for him?
|
|
|
|
Ah! in what a monstrous moment of pride and passion he had prayed that
|
|
the portrait should bear the burden of his days, and he keep the
|
|
unsullied splendour of eternal youth! All his failure had been due to
|
|
that. Better for him that each sin of his life had brought its sure
|
|
swift penalty along with it. There was purification in punishment.
|
|
Not "Forgive us our sins" but "Smite us for our iniquities" should be
|
|
the prayer of man to a most just God.
|
|
|
|
The curiously carved mirror that Lord Henry had given to him, so many
|
|
years ago now, was standing on the table, and the white-limbed Cupids
|
|
laughed round it as of old. He took it up, as he had done on that
|
|
night of horror when he had first noted the change in the fatal
|
|
picture, and with wild, tear-dimmed eyes looked into its polished
|
|
shield. Once, some one who had terribly loved him had written to him a
|
|
mad letter, ending with these idolatrous words: "The world is changed
|
|
because you are made of ivory and gold. The curves of your lips
|
|
rewrite history." The phrases came back to his memory, and he repeated
|
|
them over and over to himself. Then he loathed his own beauty, and
|
|
flinging the mirror on the floor, crushed it into silver splinters
|
|
beneath his heel. It was his beauty that had ruined him, his beauty
|
|
and the youth that he had prayed for. But for those two things, his
|
|
life might have been free from stain. His beauty had been to him but a
|
|
mask, his youth but a mockery. What was youth at best? A green, an
|
|
unripe time, a time of shallow moods, and sickly thoughts. Why had he
|
|
worn its livery? Youth had spoiled him.
|
|
|
|
It was better not to think of the past. Nothing could alter that. It
|
|
was of himself, and of his own future, that he had to think. James
|
|
Vane was hidden in a nameless grave in Selby churchyard. Alan Campbell
|
|
had shot himself one night in his laboratory, but had not revealed the
|
|
secret that he had been forced to know. The excitement, such as it
|
|
was, over Basil Hallward's disappearance would soon pass away. It was
|
|
already waning. He was perfectly safe there. Nor, indeed, was it the
|
|
death of Basil Hallward that weighed most upon his mind. It was the
|
|
living death of his own soul that troubled him. Basil had painted the
|
|
portrait that had marred his life. He could not forgive him that. It
|
|
was the portrait that had done everything. Basil had said things to
|
|
him that were unbearable, and that he had yet borne with patience. The
|
|
murder had been simply the madness of a moment. As for Alan Campbell,
|
|
his suicide had been his own act. He had chosen to do it. It was
|
|
nothing to him.
|
|
|
|
A new life! That was what he wanted. That was what he was waiting
|
|
for. Surely he had begun it already. He had spared one innocent
|
|
thing, at any rate. He would never again tempt innocence. He would be
|
|
good.
|
|
|
|
As he thought of Hetty Merton, he began to wonder if the portrait in
|
|
the locked room had changed. Surely it was not still so horrible as it
|
|
had been? Perhaps if his life became pure, he would be able to expel
|
|
every sign of evil passion from the face. Perhaps the signs of evil
|
|
had already gone away. He would go and look.
|
|
|
|
He took the lamp from the table and crept upstairs. As he unbarred the
|
|
door, a smile of joy flitted across his strangely young-looking face
|
|
and lingered for a moment about his lips. Yes, he would be good, and
|
|
the hideous thing that he had hidden away would no longer be a terror
|
|
to him. He felt as if the load had been lifted from him already.
|
|
|
|
He went in quietly, locking the door behind him, as was his custom, and
|
|
dragged the purple hanging from the portrait. A cry of pain and
|
|
indignation broke from him. He could see no change, save that in the
|
|
eyes there was a look of cunning and in the mouth the curved wrinkle of
|
|
the hypocrite. The thing was still loathsome--more loathsome, if
|
|
possible, than before--and the scarlet dew that spotted the hand seemed
|
|
brighter, and more like blood newly spilled. Then he trembled. Had it
|
|
been merely vanity that had made him do his one good deed? Or the
|
|
desire for a new sensation, as Lord Henry had hinted, with his mocking
|
|
laugh? Or that passion to act a part that sometimes makes us do things
|
|
finer than we are ourselves? Or, perhaps, all these? And why was the
|
|
red stain larger than it had been? It seemed to have crept like a
|
|
horrible disease over the wrinkled fingers. There was blood on the
|
|
painted feet, as though the thing had dripped--blood even on the hand
|
|
that had not held the knife. Confess? Did it mean that he was to
|
|
confess? To give himself up and be put to death? He laughed. He felt
|
|
that the idea was monstrous. Besides, even if he did confess, who
|
|
would believe him? There was no trace of the murdered man anywhere.
|
|
Everything belonging to him had been destroyed. He himself had burned
|
|
what had been below-stairs. The world would simply say that he was mad.
|
|
They would shut him up if he persisted in his story.... Yet it was
|
|
his duty to confess, to suffer public shame, and to make public
|
|
atonement. There was a God who called upon men to tell their sins to
|
|
earth as well as to heaven. Nothing that he could do would cleanse him
|
|
till he had told his own sin. His sin? He shrugged his shoulders.
|
|
The death of Basil Hallward seemed very little to him. He was thinking
|
|
of Hetty Merton. For it was an unjust mirror, this mirror of his soul
|
|
that he was looking at. Vanity? Curiosity? Hypocrisy? Had there
|
|
been nothing more in his renunciation than that? There had been
|
|
something more. At least he thought so. But who could tell? ... No.
|
|
There had been nothing more. Through vanity he had spared her. In
|
|
hypocrisy he had worn the mask of goodness. For curiosity's sake he
|
|
had tried the denial of self. He recognized that now.
|
|
|
|
But this murder--was it to dog him all his life? Was he always to be
|
|
burdened by his past? Was he really to confess? Never. There was
|
|
only one bit of evidence left against him. The picture itself--that
|
|
was evidence. He would destroy it. Why had he kept it so long? Once
|
|
it had given him pleasure to watch it changing and growing old. Of
|
|
late he had felt no such pleasure. It had kept him awake at night.
|
|
When he had been away, he had been filled with terror lest other eyes
|
|
should look upon it. It had brought melancholy across his passions.
|
|
Its mere memory had marred many moments of joy. It had been like
|
|
conscience to him. Yes, it had been conscience. He would destroy it.
|
|
|
|
He looked round and saw the knife that had stabbed Basil Hallward. He
|
|
had cleaned it many times, till there was no stain left upon it. It
|
|
was bright, and glistened. As it had killed the painter, so it would
|
|
kill the painter's work, and all that that meant. It would kill the
|
|
past, and when that was dead, he would be free. It would kill this
|
|
monstrous soul-life, and without its hideous warnings, he would be at
|
|
peace. He seized the thing, and stabbed the picture with it.
|
|
|
|
There was a cry heard, and a crash. The cry was so horrible in its
|
|
agony that the frightened servants woke and crept out of their rooms.
|
|
Two gentlemen, who were passing in the square below, stopped and looked
|
|
up at the great house. They walked on till they met a policeman and
|
|
brought him back. The man rang the bell several times, but there was
|
|
no answer. Except for a light in one of the top windows, the house was
|
|
all dark. After a time, he went away and stood in an adjoining portico
|
|
and watched.
|
|
|
|
"Whose house is that, Constable?" asked the elder of the two gentlemen.
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Dorian Gray's, sir," answered the policeman.
|
|
|
|
They looked at each other, as they walked away, and sneered. One of
|
|
them was Sir Henry Ashton's uncle.
|
|
|
|
Inside, in the servants' part of the house, the half-clad domestics
|
|
were talking in low whispers to each other. Old Mrs. Leaf was crying
|
|
and wringing her hands. Francis was as pale as death.
|
|
|
|
After about a quarter of an hour, he got the coachman and one of the
|
|
footmen and crept upstairs. They knocked, but there was no reply.
|
|
They called out. Everything was still. Finally, after vainly trying
|
|
to force the door, they got on the roof and dropped down on to the
|
|
balcony. The windows yielded easily--their bolts were old.
|
|
|
|
When they entered, they found hanging upon the wall a splendid portrait
|
|
of their master as they had last seen him, in all the wonder of his
|
|
exquisite youth and beauty. Lying on the floor was a dead man, in
|
|
evening dress, with a knife in his heart. He was withered, wrinkled,
|
|
and loathsome of visage. It was not till they had examined the rings
|
|
that they recognized who it was.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
End of Project Gutenberg's The Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde
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